If you’re married and thinking about stepping outside of your relationship, you may have asked yourself: is Ashley Madison worth it? The dating site got its start by catering to married people, and it has attracted more than its fair share of controversy and scandal.

Its motto “Where Discretion Meets Desire” is the heart of what it offers.

Before you decide if Ashley Madison is the right dating site for you, it makes sense to weigh the pros and cons and get a clear understanding of how Ashley Madison operates. 

The Benefits of Ashley Madison

If you’re seeking a low-key romance, Ashley Madison offers plenty of opportunities to find exactly what you’re looking for. This dating site provides a secure and private space for both fantasy and reality, allowing people to connect and engage discreetly, regardless of their relationship status. 

There are a few key factors that set Ashley Madison apart from other dating sites.

1. It’s Free to Browse Profiles & Explore Fantasy Romances

If you’re just looking to explore and check out profiles without any commitment, Ashley Madison makes it simple. Signing up is free, and you can easily browse through profiles on the site. 

The

site costs nothing at all for women, while men have access to the database profiles with no credit card necessary. The registration process takes about 10 minutes, including the time to figure out what username you want and what to include in your bio. Our Ashley Madison review goes into more detail, but there are some key facts you must provide to start getting matches: ZIP code, relationship status, date of birth, and other basics. 

Category Rating
★★★★ 4.2/5.0

You also have to specify your limits: do you want to keep to cybersexting, have a fling, find a hookup, or find a long-term relationship? If you want to keep things on the fantasy level, it’s a lot easier to do that when you set out the expectation from the beginning.

The platform also provides some options for paying members to explore fantasy dates and opportunities from the comfort of their phone or laptop. But if all you want to do is look at matches and think about what could be, there’s no charge at all.

2. Greater Privacy Protections Include Photo Blurring & Masking

If you’re thinking about setting up a profile, you might be worried about keeping it under wraps. Ashley Madison offers several privacy features, making it a go-to for casual daters who value confidentiality.

The most important features that Ashley Madison provides are the photo blur and masking options. When you upload your photos to your profile, you can choose to blur out identifying details like your face or overlay a mask to prevent your identity from being revealed.

You can also put photos behind a digital lock with the Secret Photo Albums option. This option usually hosts raunchy and NSFW photos, but you can reserve it for pictures that reveal your identity, saving them for when you’re confident you can trust the person you’re talking to.

Other privacy features include the panic button, which navigates you away from the platform and onto a generic website, and browser history clearing, to keep anyone from stumbling across your online activity.

3. All Ashley Madison Users Are Looking for Something More

According to surveys conducted by Ashley Madison itself, most of the users on the website don’t want to leave their spouses. Married people on the site want more than their marriage has to offer, rather than wanting to replace their partner.

The dating app is full of people who are frustrated in their long-term relationships, but don’t want to or can’t get out of them.

Screenshot of an Ashley Madison profile
The Ashley Madison profile invites you to describe yourself, your interests, and your desires.

Many Ashley Madison users say sexual frustration is their main reason for joining. While 42% are looking for friendship and non-sexual romance outside their marriage, a significant 61% are seeking more excitement in their sex lives.

Ashley Madison’s dating experts say that all in all, the online dating site’s members are seeking something more than their relationship can offer.

They explain, “One major reason people cheat is because they feel they can be more honest with their cheating partner. Women said the ability to be honest with their cheating partner was the top reason they found cheating ‘easy.’”

4. Avid Life Media Has Upped Its Security Since 2015

It’s no secret that Ashley Madison ran into major issues when the site was hacked in 2015. Avid Life Media, the company that owns Ashley Madison, has since made a lot of updates and changes to the way the site and the Ashley Madison app work to make things more secure.

The major breach occurred thanks to the hacking collective called The Impact Team which has gone after a number of high-profile targets successfully. The Impact Team successfully mined the site for identifying information on its members and threatened to release the data if Ashley Madison didn’t immediately shut down. 

Even after the chaos caused by the user details breach, Ashley Madison remained operational. The breach did lead to a multimillion-dollar settlement for victims, but it also drove important security improvements to prevent future incidents.

Ashley Madison instituted two-factor verification, PCI compliance, and fully encrypted browsing, along with other features to secure accounts on the dating website. While hacking is an arms race between hackers and their targets, Ashley Madison is a very secure site, with a host of tools and features to keep information under lock and key.

5. The Blog Offers Tips

One of the significant advantages of joining Ashley Madison over other platforms is the expert advice available on its blog. The blog offers articles with tips and tricks to keep matches discreet and maintain a secret relationship.

It also provides safety tips for topics like mental health advice, online messaging, and insights for people who are stressed and frustrated in their relationships. The goal of the blog is to help those who are already on the site understand their situation and set themselves up for success.

The Costs of Ashley Madison

While the best things in life might be free, those who’ve been around know that keeping things private often comes at a cost. Being an Ashley Madison user isn’t just about spending money; it’s crucial to consider these expenses before diving in. 

6. The Dating Site Literally Costs Money

Of course, the primary cost of Ashley Madison is what you pay to use the site’s benefits and features. Every female user can send and receive messages, and has access to other core functions of the site. But for men, the costs can stack up pretty quickly.

Unlike other casual dating sites such as Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison doesn’t use a subscription model. Instead, users purchase credits to access various functions. Premium features for male profiles include:

  • send and reply to messages
  • send a virtual gift
  • receive Priority Man status

The good news is that Ashley Madison uses discreet billing identification for your credit card purchases. But the default setting automatically refills your credits when you hit the minimum. If you want to avoid that, you have to change that feature manually in your Ashley Madison account settings. 

It’s possible to rack up a big charge on the dating website, but that isn’t the only cost to consider when thinking about Ashley Madison.

7. It Is Always Risky to Seek an Affair Online

Every affair comes with the risk of being caught, and your infidelity can be discovered in many ways. Your personal information like email addresses or phone numbers or other details can be leaked by another hacking group, or your spouse’s friend may stumble across your profile and figure out it’s you.

Although the site strives to make it hard for users to get caught, it’s impossible to eliminate every risk of detection. If you’re discovered, you could face repercussions in your personal and family life, and possibly damage your professional reputation and career too.

8. You’ll Need to Juggle Some Secrets & Suspicious Minds

It takes a lot of work to step outside of your marriage, even if you only do so virtually. You’ll have to manage secrets, juggle your family life with your dating activities, and of course, keep your partner from discovering your other life. 

Photo of a man taking off his ring
If you aren’t careful, your partner may find out about your affairs.

In addition, your situation automatically makes it hard to trust the people you encounter on any dating site. Paranoia, fear of being caught, means that many people who seek to start an affair constantly worry their partner will “catfish” them.

Ashley Madison does everything it can to prevent any fake profile from getting through the signup process, but it’s impossible to catch all of them right away.

Not knowing whether you’re talking to a real woman or man, or a fake account designed to trap you can make conducting your affair much more difficult. And once you find a real person and you know they’re genuine, you will have to worry about being caught through some other means. 

9. Even Online Relationships Take Work to Maintain

If your goal is to escape the work of your marriage through an affair, it can be a shock to find your outside relationship causes you frustration too. Extramarital relationships are not a long-term solution to an unhappy marriage or a bad relationship, and in some cases can highlight just how bad things are even more intensely.

While the escape and fantasy of an affair can be a powerful draw, you have to put work into any relationship, even a fling. When the relationship doesn’t live up to the daydreams you’ve entertained, or the real person you’re talking to isn’t pure fantasy material, you may find yourself wondering if using Ashley Madison for an affair is worth the trouble.

In the long term, your affair may help you learn about yourself and the ways you’re hurting your relationships, but only if you do the work.

Frequently Asked Questions: Is Ashley Madison Legit?

Indeed, Ashley Madison is a legitimate dating site, launched in 2001 to help married individuals find affair partners. Owned by Avid Life Media, Ashley Madison is one of the most popular choices for casual daters worldwide. 

With an Ashley Madison free account, you can browse matches in your area, and female users can contact anyone they want with no restrictions. The situation is more complicated for men, and not every feature on the site is free for everyone, but Ashley Madison is a legitimate dating site.

Is Ashley Madison the Only Dating Site for Affairs?

No, Ashley Madison isn’t the only option for seeking discreet affairs. Our experts rank the site as the best dating site for privacy, but there are several other options for people who want more than their relationship can provide.

Victoria Milan, Gleeden, and FindNewPassion are all dating platforms that we’ve examined in detail, and while they don’t have quite the same level of popularity or standards as Ashley Madison, each one offers unique features and benefits.

Different privacy settings, demographics, and other aspects make them potentially a better fit for some married people. Other good sites exist as well, but Ashley Madison reviews consistently rank it at the top for good reason. 

Who Was Responsible for the Ashley Madison Hack?

The Ashley Madison hack in 2015 was executed by a hacker group called The Impact Team, affiliated with Anonymous. They breached the site and obtained personal data from millions of members, including email addresses, phone numbers, and credit card information.

Following the breach, Avid Life Media and Ashley Madison collaborated to prevent future leaks by implementing comprehensive encryption, two-factor authentication, and other security measures. These enhancements also help minimize fake profiles as an added advantage. 

Are All Ashley Madison Users Cheaters?

Actually, single men and women aren’t hard to find on the Ashley Madison site. If you’re single and looking for a casual encounter or a more discreet connection, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to join in the fun.

This is a no-judgment space with as many unattached as attached members. There are many younger women seeking established men for mutually beneficial relationships and Ashley Madison is one of the prime platforms for that kind of relationship.

What Are Some Red Flags of a Fake Profile?

Some fake profiles are sophisticated, but most of the fakes you’ll find on any dating website betray themselves in different ways. Many fake accounts use stock photos or no photos at all, and the scammer will often try to get you off the platform and onto international messaging services like WhatsApp or Yahoo as quickly as possible.

Fake profiles also tend to be too good to be true, and the users avoid being seen in person. Endless excuses for no video or voice chat, or to not meet in person, or to delay meeting in person, can be major hallmarks of a fake profile. And of course, asking for money is another red flag

Do Other Online Dating Sites Keep Identities Secret?

Privacy is an important concern in the dating scene. Fortunately, the Ashley Madison site isn’t the only one keeping real-life identities separate from online personas. Adult Friend Finder is an anonymous hookup site where single and not-so-single people can mingle without raising red flags in their real lives.

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★★★★★ 4.7/5.0

Adult Friend Finder has been in the matchmaking game longer than Ashley Madison has, and its database has continually grown year after year. The AFF network is known worldwide for holding nothing back and fostering a judgment-free zone for flirting, sexting, and hooking up. Regardless of your relationship status or sexual orientation, you will be welcome to explore sexual activities on AFF.

Yes, Ashley Madison is Worth a Try

While Ashley Madison membership comes with some steep costs, reviews of the site indicate that Ashley Madison works. The site uses top-of-the-line security and discretion features to help you keep things under wraps, and provides opportunities for a wide variety of indiscretions, whether you want to keep things in the realm of fantasy or hook up with someone as soon as possible.

Is Ashley Madison worth it? Our online dating experts agree that it can be an avenue to short-term gratification in an anonymous space, and some people are willing to take the risk for the sake of a new romance. If you’re curious, it’s certainly worth a look.

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