Privacy is always a hot topic in online dating, and for good reason. When setting up a dating profile, you must provide personal details like your phone number, email address, first name, date of birth, photos, location, and sexual orientation.
Now imagine if that information fell into the wrong hands. This is more than just a hypothetical; it’s already happened to millions of people.
The 2015 Ashley Madison data breach is an example of how online data theft can hurt people and ruin lives.
Another concern is location tracking. Tinder, for example, once allowed users to pinpoint profile locations within a few yards, raising the risk of stalking and harassment.
There’s also the issue of user data being sold to third parties. We saw this come to a head in 2020 when Grindr faced legal issues in Norway for sharing sensitive information, including sexual orientation, with advertisers.
And I’d bet that many more cases have yet to go public.
If you want to protect your data while navigating online dating, your game plan starts with understanding how privacy settings work. This article should provide you with all the information you need to protect your personal information.
Types of Privacy Settings
Privacy settings are your first line of defense against scammers and other people with ill intent. If you can use an app’s privacy features properly, you can stay safe while meeting new people. Let’s break down each feature to see how it protects your online dating journey.
Public vs. Private Profiles
Online dating platforms help you get noticed. You can set how much you want to share with the public by choosing your profile to be public, limited, or private.
When you set your profile to public, you maximize visibility. Everyone on the platform can find your profile and see personal information, such as your photo, basic details, and interests.
On the other hand, a private profile keeps most of your information hidden until you connect with someone. If your profile only shows your first name, with no picture, your profile doesn’t look captivating. If you’re here to find dates, this might not serve you best.
Something in between is a limited profile, which keeps your profile inviting while staying safe. You share only what you’re comfortable sharing to attract others, then gradually share more personal details as the connection progresses.
Profile Visibility Filters
Online dating platforms have millions of users, but not all of them fit your criteria. Thankfully, you can use profile visibility filters to focus on the most relevant potential matches.
Here are some tips that might be useful for you:
- Filter your matches by specific groups such as age range, gender, or interest.
- Hide your profile from non-members or non-subscribers.
- Set the geographic privacy properly so you only connect with people you can meet in real life.
Use filters wisely to remove people who might not be compatible with you.
Communication Controls
Any single woman on the apps knows how overwhelming the conversations can be. If you chat with just one new person every day, you’ll have 30 messages in your inbox by the end of the month.
That’s a lot of conversation with strangers.
To have the best experience, keep your inbox manageable.
Start by allowing messages only from ‘matches’ and focus on quality over quantity when swiping right.
Connecting only with people who get your interest will help your conversations feel natural and prevent them from sounding like job interviews.
Photo Privacy Control
Your photos are your first impression online. If you show a lot of skin, don’t be surprised if some people ask for a one-night stand. That’s why it’s important to use photos that align with what you’re looking for.
Here are some settings you can adjust to protect your photo:
- Restrict access to photos allows you to limit your photos to only your matches or people with whom you share mutual interests.
- The temporary photo expiration feature lets you send photos, but they will automatically disappear after a certain period.
- Photo blurring or masking is a feature popular on discreet apps like Ashley Madison.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to keep photos off your profile or personal ad entirely. You can reveal your picture once you trust your match.
Voice or Video Call Privacy
Getting to know someone new requires more than just messaging. Hearing your match’s voice and even interacting on video calls in real time can give you peace of mind that your match is a real human being.
In popular brands like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, you can do voice messaging and video calls without leaving the app. This also means you don’t need to share your phone number with your match.
It doesn’t stop there. You can decide who can initiate a video call or limit who can see you online for added privacy. This will allow you to focus on individuals that pique your interest.
Safety Features to Prevent Abuse and Harassment
When you’re looking for love online, you’ll encounter some people with bad intentions. I’m sorry, but it’s just unavoidable. Thankfully, online dating platforms are already aware of this and give you tools to keep you safe. Let’s take a closer look at how these tools can safeguard you.
Verification Badges
Identity verification is the most important thing in online dating platforms. If a platform is full of fake profiles, it’s only a matter of time before someone gets hurt and users start complaining.
Therefore, when you create a new profile, you must complete a verification process such as submitting a selfie and photo of your ID, connecting your dating profile to a verified social media account, or sending a one-time password to your phone number.
Once you complete the process, you’ll get a blue checkmark next to your username.
Fraud and Scam Detection Tools
Romance scammers are always a threat to online daters, and dating platforms know this so well. That’s why reputable companies use AI and dedicated staff to spot suspicious accounts before they cause harm.
For example, the platform’s algorithm can flag:
- Messages with keywords commonly used in scams (e.g., emergency, investment, money, transfer).
- Unusual activity patterns, like spamming or rapid account creation.
- Accounts that get flagged by multiple users.
When one of your matches’s accounts is suspended, you’ll receive an email notification. This approach is useful to keep you alert to potential issues with your matches. However, if you receive too many email notifications about this issue, consider changing your online dating app.
Instant Blocking
This should be your go-to tool to ensure your safety online. Anytime you have someone make you uncomfortable, say something inappropriate, or exhibit threatening behavior, block them.
Once blocked, they can’t view your profile, send you messages, or contact you. This will give you peace of mind. Instant blocking is an effective way to take control of your online dating experience and ensure that you’re engaging only with people who respect your boundaries.
User Reporting Systems
This is the second most popular privacy setting after a block feature. A reporting button should help users give detailed information about harassment, inappropriate messages, or abusive content.
Once reported, the platform’s moderators can review the report and take appropriate action, including warning, banning, or removing a user from the platform.
Unfortunately, most of the time, you don’t know what happens after you’ve reported someone. However, every major brand takes users’ reports very seriously to ensure their users have a good experience. If they don’t, it’s only a matter of time before they go out of business.
Profile Suspension & Deletion
When someone has been repeatedly reported for breaching community guidelines, online dating apps will take action by banning the user, temporarily suspending the account, permanently deleting the profile, or adding to blacklists.
Hopefully, this approach will create a healthy online environment for people to connect genuinely. However, we all know that, no matter what precautions we take, scammers are always lurking. At the end of the day, your safety depends on how you set your boundaries.
4 Pieces of Advice for Real-World Encounters
Meeting someone you’ve only chatted with online can be nerve-wracking, but once you get the hang of it, you may enjoy it more than you expected. In this section, we’ll share tips to help you handle your first real-world encounter safely and confidently.
1. Don’t Overshare Personal Details
One rule on hanging out in the online world is to be brief and mysterious, but no lies.
For instance, never mention specific locations where people could pinpoint your whereabouts, such as your home address, workplace, or favorite coffee shop.
The main reason is for your safety. You don’t know if your match is a sane and safe human being, so taking precautions is a must.
Even after you meet in person, you might not be interested in going further. The last thing you want is a stranger from the internet to show up in your office or house.
2. Meet in Public for the First Date
Choosing the right place to meet your match for the first time is crucial. You don’t need to overthink it; set an appointment in public spots such as cafes, restaurants, or parks at a decent hour. Avoid inviting your match to your house or you go to your match place.
Here are some other things to consider when preparing for the first date:
- Budget-friendly. Don’t try to impress your date with money.
- Short and sweet. If you feel the chemistry, you can stay longer.
- Be punctual. First impressions can say a lot about your personality.
- Dress appropriately. Wear something that makes you feel good about yourself.
- Be a good listener. Show interest in what your date has to say and ask questions.
Focus on connecting with the other person through conversation and finding common values. If you don’t feel the spark, politely end the date to respect each other’s time.
3. Tell Someone Where You’re Going
This is an effective way to stay safe. Let your trusted friend or family member know where you’re going. When you arrive at the location, you can share your location in real-time use “Find My Phone” or Google Maps.
It may sound like overkill, but it’s better to be overprepared than sorry. Besides giving you a greater sense of safety, it also gives you someone to talk to afterward!
4. Use a Nickname
Hanging out on online dating platforms is like playing a game between being secret and still being friendly. It’s like someone saying, “I’m telling you the truth, but not really.”
Using your first and last name in your dating profile is a big no-no.
A simple way to do this is by using a nickname or alias. Later down the road, if you feel a connection with your match, you can tell your match your real name. Don’t be surprised if your match is also using an alias.
Industry Standards for Data Security and Privacy Protection
Data security might sound foreign to most of you. But if you take the time to understand today’s popular, top-notch security features, you’ll gain insights to help you make smarter decisions when browsing online.
End-to-End Encryption
End-to-end encryption (E2EE) is a private communication system where only you and your match can open the message. This includes text messages, photos, and other interactions in your inbox.
With this encryption, someone might be able to hack and access your data, but they won’t be able to read it without the key to decrypt the message. Only the app where the communication is happening—your online dating app—holds that key.
Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
Have you ever tried logging into your profile only to be asked to enter a one-time password (OTP) after entering your regular password?
That’s two-factor authentication (2FA) in real life.
It’s an additional login where you’re not only asked to input your password, but the system also sends OTP (one-time password) or TOTP (Time-based One-time Password algorithm) to your mobile device or email.
Transparent Data Collection
Transparent data collection is all about platforms being upfront with you about what data they collect, how they use it, and who they share it with. This should be stated in their privacy policies to build trust between users and the platform.
Unfortunately, things aren’t that smooth in real life. There is much backlash about platforms selling users’ data, especially for advertising purposes. Honestly, there’s hardly any privacy in the online world.
User Control over Data
As a user, you have full control over your personal information. If you decide to stop using an app, it should allow you to delete your account, erase any stored personal data, or opt out of data sharing and advertising.
It’s unclear whether the app deletes your data or keeps it stored on its servers. There’s little we can do as individuals these days. We can only cross our fingers and hope the platform operates ethically.
Regulatory Compliance
Regulations are always evolving to protect people, including when it comes to the internet. Two regulations that affect online dating platforms’ data security practices are the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) for Europe and the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) for U.S. Citizens.
Both regulations require companies handling data from these regions to follow strict data collection practices, allow users to access, correct, or delete their data, and opt out of having their data sold to third parties.
How about people outside California and Europe?
Most online companies don’t want to risk being sued over user privacy, so they choose to follow high standards of security and trust, often going beyond local legal requirements. After all, if they’re aiming for a global market, there’s no way to know exactly where all their customers are from.
Educational Resources
Many online dating platforms take proactive steps by providing educational content that helps users navigate privacy settings effectively. After all, a safe online dating community can only be built through cooperation between the platform and its users.
These resources are typically articles and videos explaining how to set up profile privacy, control who can see your information, and manage account security. While there is a learning curve, millennials and beyond find navigating these settings intuitive as they grew up with the internet.
Users Need to Protect Their Info
Concern over digital privacy doesn’t have to ruin your fun in the online dating world. You can protect yourself with knowledge about privacy settings and hang out on dating apps safely and respectfully.
However, understanding the ins and outs of privacy settings doesn’t solve all of your online safety problems. You must stay vigilant and proactively educate yourself by reading expert tips on avoiding romance scams.
Be safe!
