When things seem too good to be true, they probably are. Suppose you match with a dating profile that has a good-looking picture, and the personal bio says they’re looking for a great love. The person is an international business owner who desperately wants to become serious with you after only a few minutes of chatting.
That’s called love bombing, and it’s a big red flag. My advice is to block and report that profile right away because it’s probably a catfish scheme.
“Catfish” is a slang term that basically means a fake profile.
Maybe you’ve been talking to someone for a while, and you feel a thrill whenever you get a message from this person, but you’ve never met them in real life. Somehow they’re always too busy or out of town.
They could be a catfisher. What are the signs of a catfish? What’s the story behind it? Does it have anything to do with fishing? You’ll find the answers to all of those questions in this article.
What Is Catfishing?
If you’re new to the online dating world, you need to understand the term “catfish.” Sooner or later, you’ll encounter this type of scam. Let’s start by defining the term.
Definition & Context
The word “catfishing” became popular after a 2010 documentary about a man named Nev Schulman. He met a woman calling herself Megan online, and they soon became romantically involved. They start exchanging daily texts, phone calls, and sometimes erotic conversations.
At the end of the story, Nec finds that Megan is actually a fake online personality made by a married woman named Angela Wesselman.
Since then, the word “catfish” has become slang for a false personal profile on social media, dating apps, web forums, or elsewhere.
Different Forms of Catfishing
A catfisher steals someone’s identity (pictures, personal data) and creates a story around it to make themselves appear different than they are IRL. Then, they interact with people online using this personality to get what they want.
1. Romantic Catfishing
Who doesn’t lie on their online profile? To a certain degree, we all do. Research says that people’s honesty score in their online dating apps is at a moderate 5.1 out of 10.
Women tend to lie about their age, and men tend to lie about their salary. Other topics that people tend to lie about are their relationship status, real-life appearance (hello, social media filters!), interests and hobbies, education level, and location.
But if your effort to polish your profile leads to an entirely different persona than the real you, that’s catfishing.
Some people become catfishers to find romantic partners. Someone might tweak their picture or even use other people’s pictures to attract the opposite sex.
Others pretend to be someone else to explore their sexual curiosity. They might be curious about lesbian or gay dating. In the most dangerous cases, a minor could pretend to be over 18 to access sexual content. Solicitation of a minor is still a crime, even if that minor was pretending to be an adult.
2. Financial Scams
In the documentary, Schulman was brokenhearted to discover that his lover was not the person she claimed to be. But at least his wallet was spared.
Most people aren’t that lucky.
Catfishing is usually the entry point of romance scammer schemes. Once their target is lured to the relationship and has an emotional connection, they’ll ask for money. The Federal Trade Commission estimated that in 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported romance scams, resulting in a staggering $1.3 billion in losses.
3. Social Media Impersonation
Another form of catfishing is pretending to be rich or famous to get attention, admiration, or personal gain. Whether you pretend to be a well-known celebrity or a cool kid in your school, both fall under the umbrella of catfishing.
When you pretend to be someone else, people might react differently to your account. They might be more likely to like your posts, share, and comment. The worst scenario is when the catfisher asks their followers to send them money, share private pictures, or buy fake stuff.
Thankfully, most of the time, this game doesn’t last long because people soon realize that the account is fake. They report the account, and it is banned.
Motivation for Catfishers
People have their reasons for catfishing others, but most of the time, the main reason is rooted in insecurity (both personal and financial). People want the world to perceive them differently: They want to be beautiful, cool, or desirable.
“In the beginning I just wanted some friends. Some people to talk to. But I realized pretty quickly… I wanted a different life.” — a self-proclaimed catfisher
When people see them differently, they hope to get what they want, whether that’s love or money. But, regardless of their reasoning, catfishers only sabotage themselves because the ruse can’t go on forever.
Once people see the true face behind the profile, the persona will crumble. They’ll get back to square one or even worse. Nobody likes to be manipulated.
Catfishing Trends & Statistics
Catfishing has surged in the digital age due to the anonymity that the internet provides. Internet trolls can easily make fake identities and deceive others for emotional manipulation, financial gain, or attention.
Background & Context
Online dating sites used to be catfish tanks. In the early 2000s, online dating sites were like the Wild West. People were exploring unknown terrain and didn’t know what to expect from it.
Scammers use the opportunity to prey on the innocent. What was supposed to be a fun place to hang out became a hunting ground where ill-intentioned people spun lies about being Nigerian royalty. Many people fell for false propositions because they didn’t know any better.
Fast forward to today, when online dating has become an internal part of our lives. Apps have both good and bad stories surrounding meeting strangers online. It can be a place where true love sparks, but any of us can be victims of a catfish scheme, especially if we’re not in a good mental state.
Apps have begun improving their security tools to create a healthy online environment. Nowadays, we have two-factor authentication, identity verification via selfies or IDs, phone number authentication, and even connecting an online dating account to social media.
Statistics on Catfishing Incidents
Research suggests that many catfishers share certain psychological traits, such as being compulsive liars or having low self-esteem. Perhaps they’ve experienced abuse or have a history of abusive behavior. They use deception to fill an emotional void or feel empowered.
Unfortunately, these struggling individuals are all around us, as 1 in 5 adults under 30 know a catfisher. Furthermore, about 1 in 11 Americans have been catfished, and most of the victims are women. There’s a good reason why you feel weird about some of your online matches.
Catfishing has evolved into a multimillion-dollar industry, with people making serious money from it. That’s why you must take precautions when chatting online. When you meet someone online, I suggest you assume they are a catfisher until proven otherwise.
Impact of Catfishing on Online Dating
Online dating has been around for decades, and multiple generations have dealt with online scams. The impact of catfishing can be quite severe. It doesn’t just affect finances; it can be crippling to emotional stability and harm future relationships.
Trust Issues & Skepticism
Safety is a main concern for online daters. These days, users are more vigilant and tired of catfishers because they waste their time and energy. If you don’t have a proper profile pic and if your bio says nothing about you, most people won’t give you a chance to connect.
Being authentic and original in your dating profile will go a long way toward convincing potential matches that you’re worth chatting up.
For fun, why don’t you experiment?
What happens if you delete your profile picture and barely write anything on your online dating bio? Do you get any matches? Try this for a month and see what happens. I’ll bet your chats dry up pretty quick. Then, if you revamp your dating profile, your matches and conversations should start flowing again.
That shows how people are smart at navigating interaction online. If you want to gain the trust of others, you must make some effort to showcase your best self.
Consequences for Industry Leaders
Catfishing can lead to illegal activities, including fraud, prostitution, and human trafficking.
In response to this issue, the U.S. Senate introduced new laws such as FOSTA (Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) and SESTA (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) on April 11, 2018.
“FOSTA-SESTA package will finally give prosecutors the tools they need to protect their communities and give victims a pathway to justice.” — U.S. Representative Ann Wagner (R-MO)
Soon after, Backpage and Craigslist Personals were shut down. The remaining dating companies must be more proactive in stopping illegal activities on their platforms.
Psychological Effects of Catfishing
Many catfish schemes can stretch for months or even years with two people staying in regular contact. During this time, you will share your private information and feelings, thinking that you’re in the process of getting to know each other. You might gradually become attached or even fall in love.
Then, the ugly truth comes out.
You find out that your crush doesn’t even exist. You feel shattered, devastated, and betrayed. Even worse, if you’ve gotten involved financially, such as by sending your savings to your “lover,” you might need years to recover from the misfortune.
Prevention & Awareness
We’re all set with the basics of the catfish background story, the warning signs, and the risk of your online adventure. However, it’s impossible for modern human beings not to hang out on the internet. The best thing you can do is learn to protect yourself from scammers.
1. Recognize Red Flags
Before investing your time and energy with someone online, it’s crucial to recognize the red flags of catfishing early on. Here are some things you must pay attention to:
- They have an incomplete profile.
- You receive cookie-cutter messages.
- They avoid video calls and won’t meet you IRL.
- You can’t find them on social media or anywhere else online.
- You’ve been chatting back and forth but hardly know anything about them.
- Things are happening too fast.
- They ask for money.
If someone doesn’t put effort into their dating profile or opening message, they don’t deserve your time. If they’re crossing your boundaries and pressuring you to move quickly into a commitment, they are toxic love bombers. This is real life, not a rom-com. Love at first sight is extremely rare, especially in online dating.
Most importantly, no matter what the reason is, block and report anyone who asks for money.
2. Use Video Chat Features
This is the best way to verify a person’s identity. By hopping on a video call, you can interact in real time. You don’t even need to exchange numbers or use different apps because most dating apps these days have built-in video chat features.
You can either jump on a video call spontaneously or set an appointment ahead of time to prepare. When the time comes, make sure you’re in a quiet place and that your earphones are working. Prepare some questions in advance in case you get stuck in awkward silence.
The first minute will be the worst. Just smile and breathe. Say hi, thank them for hopping on the call, and ask how their day was. Once you find something in common, the conversation should flow naturally.
3. Research Everyone You Meet
Before you get to know someone on a deeper level, always check everyone you meet online. Thankfully, it’s not difficult to check on other people’s digital footprints.
You can do this without even engaging in conversation by using Google Reverse Image. To check if someone is using a fake profile picture, you can simply search for their image on Google. If they are using someone else’s picture, you’ll likely find it easily.
AI-generated images are trickier to sus out, but there are tells. These images often have an unnaturally perfect look or feature surreal backgrounds and nonsensical details.
Asking someone to take a picture of themselves while holding a piece of paper with the current date and a specific message can help you spot an imposter in the wild.
If you already engage in conversation and want to know more about this person’s personality, ask for their LinkedIn and Instagram profiles. You can scroll down to see old posts and get a glimpse of what this person is all about.
When you’re playing online detective, be respectful of other people’s privacy. You don’t need to spam their DMs on every platform or comment on every post.
4. Use the Security Features on the App
Many dating apps have several verification features to wipe out fake profiles. Unfortunately, schemers have found ways to work around it. So your active participation is still needed. When you find something fishy, use the report button to report suspicious profiles.
If you meet many fake profiles on a particular app, I would consider changing dating apps.
5. Trust Your Gut & Take Things Slow
When connecting with new people online, listen to your inner voice. Your intuition is there to protect you. If you feel something is off (like you don’t trust what they say), listen to it. Block the profile, report the account, and move on.
There are millions of people on the apps, so you will never run out of dating prospects. Don’t waste your time with someone fishy.
Also, take your time in getting to know someone. Don’t be hasty about falling in love; even puppy love can lead you to a jerk. By taking things slow, you give yourself time to analyze the situation and make your best judgment.
Catfishing Is a Known Risk of Online Dating
The internet has changed the way we live and the way we find love. Online dating creates opportunities to meet new people outside your social circle. However, it comes with a catch: a new way for people to take advantage of you.
Cunning people lurk in the corners of the web looking for their next target. I met a lot of them during my online dating adventures, and I can tell you this: Those scammers can tap into your emotions if you let them.
As long as you stay informed and cautious, you can greatly lower your risk of becoming a victim of this slimy virtual crime.
Happy dating, folks!
