Despite the massive strides that LGBTQ+ people have made in gaining acceptance, it can still be difficult for gay guys in rural places to find love, sex, companionship, and friendship. M4M personals sites make it easy for gay men to find each other out in the world, without compromising safety and security or outing themselves. These personal ad platforms are more than just an easy way to find a casual date; they’re a way to connect with the gay community and feel safe and understood. 

Best M4M Personals Sites for Hookups

Let’s get right to the juicy parts. Here are our top recommendations overall for men who are horny and seeking gay encounters with no strings attached.

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★★★★ 4.4/5.0
  • A massive men-only sex and swinger community
  • Browse profiles and send private messages to your favorites
  • Profiles feature erotic videos and sexually explicit blogs

Gay men don’t have to settle for classified ads to meet and connect, but MenNation takes things a step beyond dating sites, offering a wealth of erotic content for gay singles and couples alike. The gay hookup site features x-rated photos and videos, making it easy to keep things hot while you look for your next casual encounter.

MenNation doesn’t just help gay guys meet, either. The M4M personals site welcomes bisexual men, pansexual men, and any man who wants to meet other men for sex and relationships. If you want to maximize your MenNation experience, consider the premium membership, which grants access to some big benefits. Buzzmode, for example, lets you control another user’s sex toy during livestream performances. 

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★★★★ 4.1/5.0

Adult Friend Finder, an old name in online personals, has been the top hunting ground for singles, couples, and groups seeking casual sex since the ‘90s. AFF isn’t specifically a gay dating site, but the platform welcomes the gay community with open arms. You can be as out or as anonymous as you want, and there’s plenty of adult content to browse in between posting personal ads or chatting.

Because Adult Friend Finder is a popular hookup website on the internet, members are almost guaranteed to find someone for a casual encounter, no matter what their tastes are. You can browse member profiles and use search filters to find a sexy man in your area. But if you want to message one on one, you’ll need a premium membership. 

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★★★★ 4.2/5.0
  • Single men in the U.S., Canada, and Europe
  • Fast-working and time-saving match and communication tools
  • Gay men can sign up for free to find matches

If you prefer your chatting to have an X-rated edge, BeNaughty is the place to be. As our BeNaughty review highlights, this adult dating site puts the emphasis on adult content, with photos, videos and chats that stay steamy all over the platform. Although the site is geared toward people seeking a hookup, it’s easy to keep things strictly to words with the live chat room options.

Although all members get access to chat rooms and forum posts, and you can browse member profiles for free, only women can send private messages for free on BeNaughty. Men can get access to a bevy of extra perks with the Chataholic package, including read receipts and higher visibility on the site. The Premium Dater package combines those perks with other benefits like encryption, incognito mode, and browser history cleaning. 

Best M4M Personals Sites for Relationships

If you’re seeking a real relationship, then you’ll need a trustworthy dating site or app that doesn’t mess around. The typical swiping app can bring you a lot of casual dating options, but the following platforms take pride in offering better quality in a marriage-minded dating pool.

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★★★★★ 4.9/5.0
  • Proud ally to the LGBTQ community
  • Millions of verified dating profiles to browse for free
  • Over 20 years’ worth of success stories

Although it’s not specifically a gay dating site, Match welcomes anyone looking for love, romance, and friendship. M4M dating on Match is simple: Just sign up, take the quiz, and build your profile, and you can start finding a potential partner in a matter of minutes. Because the platform is so popular, single gay men looking for something more serious can find plenty of options and no stigma. 

Match keeps things simple when it comes to helping singles find love. The personality quiz is just one way the site helps users find a compatible match. As Match makes recommendations, the algorithm updates based on your reactions. You can also browse and search profiles using basic filters, and even participate in in-person events that Match hosts if you’re more comfortable meeting face to face. Find out more about what makes Match our experts’ top pick for dating sites in our Match review.

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★★★★★ 4.7/5.0

For gay professional singles who want to level up their dating lives, Elite Singles offers a happy hunting ground of high-value men who want more than just a hookup. Whether you’re looking for casual dating or a serious relationship, Elite Singles makes it easy to get into a relationship with someone who shares your values and priorities. 

Instead of posting a personal ad, swiping on profile pictures, or sitting in a chat room, Elite Singles curates daily matches for users to consider, based on personality traits, similar interests, and preferences that each member sets. If you want to take a more proactive role in finding your best match, you can check out “Have You Met?” which features potential partners who aren’t an exact match for what you’re looking for.

The free membership comes with some communication options, but you’ll need to be a premium member to send direct messages to anyone you want.

Best M4M Personals Sites for Chatting

Not all gay men know exactly what they want in the dating scene. So it takes the pressure off to start with a low-key conversation and see where things go. The following dating apps offer a lot of communication options to help men get the ball rolling.

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★★★★★ 4.6/5.0
  • Over 40 million members of all orientations
  • Seamless social media integration
  • Thousands of success stories in the LGBTQ community

Since its launch in 2007, Zoosk has become ranked among top dating sites in the world. The dating platform started life as a Facebook application and that is key to understanding the social atmosphere on the site. Because Zoosk started life as an extension of Facebook, it offers a lot of different communication options, making it easy to connect and express yourself.

The social aspect of Zoosk extends to matchmaking. The platform suggests matches based on mutual compatibility — a shared interest or similar background — and as you interact with profiles, the Zoosk algorithm gets better at sending similar singles your way. Although not all of the communication methods are free, you can choose between a premium subscription or Zoosk coins to get the specific paid features that interest you. 

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★★★★ 4.1/5.0
  • Among the most popular gay social networks in the world
  • Men connect via private and group chats
  • View nearby profiles using real-time GPS data

Although Grindr isn’t just for finding a casual hookup, the gay dating app undoubtedly gets a lot of use as a virtual tool for gay men to cruise wherever they happen to be. The app makes it easy for users to remain anonymous while looking for a chat buddy, and in fact, you don’t have to disclose anything about yourself, including your sexual orientation.

Although Grindr is a swipe-based app like Tinder, most users treat their member profiles like a personal ad, specifying what they’re looking for rather than who they are. Free members can swipe profiles and send messages to anyone they form a mutual match with, while Grindr XTRA gives you access to benefits like read receipts, unsending messages, and swiping outside of your location. 

Best M4M Personals Sites for Closeted Guys

Still in the closet? No worries — there are anonymous dating sites and apps where men can flirt, connect, and date without putting too much personal information out there. The following apps are known for their discretion, so we recommend them for closeted gay men.

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★★★★ 3.9/5.0
  • Identify as “male seeking males” to narrow the field
  • Men can blur or mask their faces in profile photos
  • Every month, over 470,000 people create free accounts

Ashley Madison is the go-to site for affairs, and many Ashley Madison members are in the closet, seeking a same-sex relationship while maintaining a straight marriage. The same features that make it a safe space for a straight affair make it equally safe for gay men who have needs to satisfy.

Browser history clearing, photo-blurring and masking tools, and anonymity protocols keep your secret dating life safe. If all else fails, the panic button automatically navigates you to a completely unrelated site, so no one who walks in on you will ever suspect a thing.

Another key aspect of Ashley Madison that makes it a contender for the best dating site for closeted gay men is the security of the platform. After Ashley Madison fell prey to hackers several years ago, the team behind the site and app worked hard to improve security features, implementing encryption and other tools to protect the secrets of its members. Although there’s always a risk of being outed, Ashley Madison offers a secure playground to explore your same-sex attraction.

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★★★★★ 4.5/5.0

Anonymity is any closeted gay man’s best friend, and OneNightFriend makes it easy to stay anonymous and find local hookups at the same time. The hookup site keeps things simple and doesn’t ask for a lot of information from users, so you can choose what to reveal and what to conceal while you look for your next hookup. 

There aren’t any complicated features or tools on OneNightFriend. Search filters and browsing tools are basic, so it’s easy to get started and find your next hookup without having to figure out where things are. Free members get up to five free messages per day, but you can send unlimited flirtcasts for other members to respond to. Premium membership gives you unlimited private messages, browser history clearing, and other perks to keep your sex life private and secure.

FAQs: What Does M4M Mean for Dating?

In online dating and classified ads, M4M refers to “man for man” or “men for men,” and it’s one of several common identifiers that come from newspaper personal ads.

This shorthand, along with other identifiers like “SWM” (single white male) and “BHM” (Big Handsome Man), was typically used in the ads section of newspapers and magazines to make romantic connections. You may also run into “ISO” (In Search Of) in online dating forums, personal ads, and other text-based platforms.

Young gay couple hugging and kissing at the city.
M4M is shorthand developed for gay men using personal ads.

Before the internet, gay men and other queer people used classified ads to connect and find partners. Of course, straight singles used the same forums, but for same-sex attracted people, personal ads were a major lifeline. Anonymous personals offered a judgment-free space where queer men could meet without fear. These ads were expensive, however, and space was limited, so shorthand methods for communicating who you are and what you’re looking for were essential.

The acronyms and shorthand continued as the internet gained more readers because everyone knew what they meant and because, in the early days, it was harder to find free matchmaking services online. The acronyms are a clear, simple way to communicate, so even though space limits are no longer an issue, they’re still favored by members of the broader gay community. 

What Happened to Craigslist Personals?

Craigslist personal ads went offline in 2018 following the crackdown on platforms hosting classified ads for sex workers, which were frequently cited as a contributor to sex trafficking. Initially, the classified ad page attempted to monitor the personal ads more carefully instead of outright removing Craigslist personals, but the liability under new laws passed by Congress made it too big of a risk to continue hosting the section. 

Until 2009, Craigslist actually had a specific section where sex workers and potential clients could advertise. But when that section stopped being published under pressure from Congress and state-level governments, most professionals took to the personals section of Craigslist.

Despite the crackdown from Congress, Reddit personals still exists, and people who want to post ads for casual sex, romance, or missed connections can still use the r4r board. It’s also possible to find some professionals on Reddit, but most of what Reddit has to offer are indirect services, as opposed to in-person or full-service sex work. 

Is eharmony a Good Dating App for Gay & Bisexual Singles?

While eharmony has been working for several years to provide a more welcoming space to the LGBTQ+ community, the dating site and app still have a lot of work to do to establish trust.

The company’s original leadership launched eharmony as a conservative Christian response to dating platforms aimed more toward casual relationships than marriage. Originally only heterosexual singles looking for long-term love were welcome.

eharmony logo
eharmony has become more queer-friendly over time.

The dating app and site now welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual singles, and it has nonbinary as a gender option on all dating profiles. eharmony has certainly come a long way, and it’s actually considered one of the most gay-friendly apps for serious relationship seekers.

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, eharmony is still a great option thanks to the in-depth compatibility that comes with the personality quiz and other features that help singles looking for something serious moving toward the right people.

M4M Personals Give Men a Social Space All Their Own

Although gay men have various options for meeting each other, online gay personals are a time-tested tradition within the community because they’re discreet and private. Seeking single men in your neighborhood or classroom can feel intimidating, but there’s nothing difficult about sliding into a guy’s DMs on a gay dating platform.

A man can explore the dating scene in a safe and anonymous way by creating a M4M personal ad on one of the popular sites listed in this article. Best of luck!

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