The dating site eharmony makes clear that it’s dedicated to marriage, but is eharmony gay friendly? And does it support the LGBTQ+ community as a whole? The online dating site has a checkered history when it comes to the issue of marriage equality. But as things stand right now, the site accepts gay, lesbian, and bisexual singles.
The news isn’t all rosy because, while inclusion for the LGBTQ+ community on the site has improved, eharmony isn’t an entirely inclusive platform. The site continues to work on its commitment to serious relationships and on expanding the audience for those relationships.
The Dating Site Used to be Exclusively for Heterosexuals
In 2000, eharmony launched as an online dating website that appealed to traditionalists. The goal of the site was to bring heterosexual singles together for dating relationships that could lead to marriage. The company’s conservative Christian leadership supported heterosexual marriage by helping straight singles build strong connections online.
Since its launch in 2000, eharmony has endeavored to find the formula for love. Its 32-dimension personality test uses psychological truths to identify areas of compatibility between two individuals. The dating site’s mission is to foster relationships that last, and every potential match has a reason behind it.
- Over 2 million people have found love here
- Users can filter their match recommendations by age or city
- Compatibility Quiz identifies common interests, lifestyles, and goals
- Browse eharmony profiles 100% free »
The dating site’s heteronormative features very quickly drew opposition. Several lawsuits, including a discrimination case brought by the New Jersey Civil Rights Division, led to conflict within the company and the creation of a separate gay dating site called Compatible Partners.
Christian theologian and eharmony Co-founder Neil Clark Warren made several public statements about his views against same-sex marriage and gay relationships, and eventually he stepped down from his role in the company.
The new leadership team got to work right away to make eharmony a more welcoming dating service for gay singles and lesbian singles.
Today’s eharmony is more in step with the times and provides matchmaking tools for singles seeking gay marriage and gay or lesbian relationships.
Turning Over a New Leaf: eharmony Now Welcomes Gay Men
After the New Jersey Civil Rights Division settlement, eharmony began offering a same-sex dating platform alongside its heterosexual system. It was called Compatible Partners, but it has since been archived and its members have joined eharmony’s main platform.
Once the eharmony company changed hands, the new leadership worked toward making the online dating site and app more inclusive while keeping its focus on facilitating long-term relationships and marriages.
When it launched in 2000, eharmony was on a mission to find the formula for love. It started with straight couples, and now has expanded its algorithm to pair up same-sex couples. Gay men who can join the eharmony network to get serious about online dating and commit more time and effort into forming a long-term relationship.
- Has search options for same-sex relationships
- An 80-question personality test available for free
- Paid features include unlimited live messaging and video chat
- Browse eharmony profiles 100% free »
Currently, eharmony provides a reputable matchmaking service for a gay man seeking another gay man, or a lesbian woman seeking another lesbian woman. LGBTQ+ singles will get the same level of service as a person looking to become part of a heterosexual couple.
You can find prospective compatible partners based on the dating site’s set dimensions and other factors. But while the new leadership at eharmony has made things more inclusive for gay people, there are still areas where the site has yet to fully develop to serve the LGBT community.
Where It Still Needs Improvement: Queerness and Fluidity
The LGBTQ+ community isn’t just gay and lesbian, of course. The umbrella covers a wide range of gender and sexual orientations and preferences, including bisexual, transgender, asexual and demisexual, nonbinary people, and those who identify as queer or questioning. How does eharmony serve these types of LGBTQ singles?
eharmony is still growing in this area. It isn’t as strong as some explicitly gay dating sites or inclusive apps when it comes to representing queer and nonbinary people. The eharmony profile recently expanded its gender and sexuality options to be more inclusive — meaning the app now offers nonbinary as an option. Meanwhile OkCupid offers over a dozen gender and orientation options upon signup.
OkCupid is a staunch ally of the LGBTQ+ community. The dating site and app made headlines in 2013 when it introduced 22 gender options and 13 orientation options to dating profiles. Few dating platforms have gone to such lengths to ensure that it represents everyone across the sexuality spectrum, and we give it props for connecting gay, bi, and queer men around the world.
- Gay men can express themselves in lengthy profiles
- Expanded orientation options includes pansexual and demisexual men
- Match lists only show guys who meet your criteria
- Browse OkCupid profiles 100% free »
LGBT singles who don’t fall under the more straightforward or binary categories will find it more difficult to look for a committed, long-term relationship on eharmony than they would on some of the other dating sites and dating app options out there.
Until recently, eharmony site only allowed for binary gender identification, so it doesn’t have a great reputation as an LGBTQ+ space.
The app isn’t bi-friendly yet as it currently doesn’t allow users to search for more than one gender at a time in their matches. But that may not always be the case. The company continues to expand the dating service, and it remains committed to becoming more inclusive of all types of love.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you want to know more about eharmony and online dating options for gay singles, read on to get our answers to some FAQs we see in the LGBTQ+ community.
Is the eharmony Company Homophobic?
No, although the history of the site has rightly caused a lot of concern in the LGBT community. The original co-founders of the site didn’t approve of homosexuality or same-sex marriage, and those controversial stances spurred several lawsuits across multiple U.S. states. Ultimately, gay activists won out.
The newly updated eharmony site isn’t perfect. Over the years, the dating website has come under fire from all sides — both conservative Christians and progressive advocates — but the people running the site now are looking to redeem its checkered past.
The online dating site broke with former conservative allies earlier in 2021 when eharmony ran inclusive ads featuring a lesbian couple. What’s more, the site’s leadership has publicly begun offering benefits to married same-sex couples in the organization and covers gender affirmation surgery under the company insurance.
Can I Join eharmony and Identify as Bisexual?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a way to do this. Not only does eharmony not actually include sexual orientation in your dating profile information, but it’s also not possible to compare matches from more than one gender at a time.
As a workaround, you can switch between one gender and another by adjusting your profile settings, but that can be a hassle, and it isn’t exactly the most user-friendly swiping experience.
Since eharmony is not a casual dating site, the extra effort to try and compare potential matches of different genders may be worth it to some committed singles. Or they may want to try their luck on a bisexual dating site that allows them to view both genders simultaneously.
Keep an eye out, though, as eharmony’s leadership is working to make the site more inclusive. It may become easier for bisexual singles to have the same odds as lesbian singles and gay singles on the dating site. Until then, bisexual singles will need to choose one gender when creating their dating profile.
Does eharmony Have Non-Binary Gender Options?
Another pitfall that LGBT singles may encounter on eharmony is the fact that the only gender options are man or woman. As a nonbinary person, you can clarify in your profile if you really want to try and find your match on eharmony, but it’s not the best solution to the problem. For any LGBTQ person who doesn’t identify as a man or a woman, using eharmony could feel somewhat awkward or invalidating.
Many other dating platforms are more inclusive in their gender options. Tinder has non-binary options in the dropdown menus when you build your profile. OkCupid also allows a range of gender identities, with options ranging from specific to general. There are also specifically gay dating app and gay dating site options that offer non-binary gender options.
How Many Gay Men Are Active on eharmony?
Among online dating apps and sites, eharmony keeps a tight rein on its user information. While it’s relatively easy to get statistics on user demographics and activity levels for some other sites and apps, eharmony only offers the most basic information, even when it comes to its straight singles.
It’s safe to say that active gay men on eharmony are in the minority, for several reasons. While eharmony welcomes the opportunity to help a gay couple come together, the significant majority of straight people on the site make it a less welcoming atmosphere and safe space for gay men. Also, while eharmony allows gay men to seek out their potential match, it isn’t a dedicated gay dating website, like some competitors.
At the end of the day, the problem is essentially that there aren’t many gay men active on eharmony. After all, why go where you’re less likely to find a perfect match?
Is eharmony a Good Gay Dating App?
While eharmony is a good dating platform overall, it’s not the best dating site for LGBTQ+ singles. It can be a good platform for mature singles who are finally ready to get into a serious relationship with a member of the opposite sex. But same-sex matchmaking isn’t its forte.
Some mainstream platforms are more broadly inclusive than eharmony, and then there are dating sites dedicated specifically to help gay people find romantic partners.
Grindr is one of the top dogs in the gay dating scene. It’s the name everyone recognizes, and many gay men choose it as their go-to dating app. The location-based matching system satisfies the desires of guys who want to hook up on the fly.
- Among the most popular gay social networks in the world
- Men connect via private and group chats
- View nearby profiles using real-time GPS data
- Browse Grindr profiles 100% free »
For gay men looking to connect only with other gay men, apps like Grindr are good platforms for meeting other gay men, trans men, and bisexual men, whether they’re single or in a relationship. Grindr is a swipe app that is similar to Tinder but for men only. Grindr launched in 2009 and supports a robust community with millions of users worldwide.
Mainstream platforms like Match, Tinder, and OkCupid still tend to have a user base that’s mostly straight people, but offer broader options for the LGBTQ+ community, including diverse gender and sexual orientation options, and filters that help you be as broad or as selective as you want.
eharmony is Striving to be Better for the Gay Community
While there’s no question that eharmony has a checkered past when it comes to the LGBT community, the site’s new leadership has worked to redeem the company’s image over the past several years.
It’s true that eharmony may never get the nod from “Queer Eye,” but the leadership at the online dating site is definitely trying to make eharmony gay-friendly. Our experts anticipate that eharmony will continue to expand its traditional definition of love and become a more inclusive place to find a long-term partner.
If you’re a gay man or lesbian woman, you can join eharmony right now and search for compatible matches for free. Good luck out there!
