Your soul mate could be waiting for you online. Though this would have sounded far-fetched in the past, I’ve met several romantic partners on Hinge. Online dating is considered normal for my generation.
On a typical dating site, you can peruse the listed profiles of other single individuals looking for love.
Each person’s profile may contain photos, interests, and bio statements — distilling the experience of talking to multiple people in real life into a simpler, shorter process.
Thanks to dating sites, the search for your perfect partner has gotten much simpler. Online dating is a far cry from the practices of in-person courtship that feel archaic nowadays. There’s never been a better time to be a single dater, so read on to learn more about how dating sites have evolved and how they can help you find exactly what you’re looking for.
The Emergence of Dating Sites
Dating platforms have been around in some form for decades, but the popular websites and apps we use the most today boast features that are major upgrades from their mid-1990s counterparts.
Important Milestones: From Match.com to COVID-19
The free beta version of Match.com, the world’s first online dating website, was launched in 1995. Match was the first flagship property of Internet matchmaking company Electric Classifieds, founded by Gary Kremen and Peng Tsin Ong. Early users of the site received free memberships that never expired.
In 2012, Tinder took the experience from the web to our mobile phones, introducing the modern dating app as we know it today. Its key feature and “secret weapon”? The swipe. By enabling its users to decide on potential partners by simply swiping right or left on their phone screens, Tinder transformed dating from a daunting task into a game-like activity.
As people retreated into the safety of quarantine, dating apps allowed singles to continue connecting with people all around the world.
According to a year-end report from Tinder, 2020 brought “an unprecedented number of users to dating apps”; on March 29, 2020, the app broke its record for the most activity in a single day. Between March and May of that same year, Bumble recorded a 70% increase in video calls.
Success Stories
Dating sites lead to love every day. Let these heartfelt testimonials from real users speak for themselves:
In response to a Reddit post asking Hinge daters to share their success stories, one user responded:
“Will be marrying my Hinge ‘recommended’ match this September. When we matched back in 2018, I was 32 and she was 29 in Chicago. I had recently re-downloaded Hinge at the urging of my friend. I had deleted all my dating apps a few months prior and had given up on finding someone via an app.”
The user continued, “When I saw that Hinge recommended her, I was taken aback because she was a total babe and I felt out of my league, but she ended up liking my profile first. We started dating in October; by Thanksgiving I was staying multiple nights in her apartment, and in June 2019 we moved in together. Without Hinge, I don’t think I would have ever asked her out or even approached her in real life.”
On Plenty of Fish’s Success Stories page, user Lainitia shared: “It started on April 21st, 2017, when I got on POF, and I met this amazing man named Terrance Leonard. We began talking online for a short while and realized quickly that we had the same interests…In April of 2018 he asked me to marry him and by May 12, we became Mr. and Mrs. Leonard.
We knew without a shadow of doubt that we were meant to be together…and we would not have been able to do it had it not been for the creation of POF. We owe the development of our relationship and this union first and foremost to God and second to the person who made POF–you brought together two perfect strangers in an imperfect world and helped them become one, and we thank you so much.”
And Bumble shared a unique love story from two former users: “When Kay accidentally swiped left on Lexie, they panicked, and immediately bought Premium to be able to go back and swipe on her profile. They just had a feeling about her—Kay even predicted that Lexie would become their wife. Their amazing first date quickly turned into a relationship, and Lexie eventually even helped Kay realize they were non-binary. After navigating that together, Kay had a feeling their prediction might come true.”
How Dating Sites Work
Navigating online dating can be tricky. Read on to find a step-by-step guide to the average dating site.
1. Registration & Profile Creation
First, create your profile. You’ll be prompted to register the account with a valid email address or phone number before uploading a few pictures of yourself and a brief bio.
Keep your pictures clear and focused on you — avoid those group selfies!
Try to choose ones that put your personality and hobbies in full view.
Some apps, like Hinge, will also give you the opportunity to indicate preferences from app-provided options — for instance, you can display a preference for relationship type or show that you’re not open to having kids.
2. Algorithms & Matching
Each platform employs a different algorithm to pair users. However, user-provided information generally informs the outcomes of a platform’s machine-learning techniques. For example, after pairing users with similar indicated interests and geographic locations, an algorithm may assign user profiles “similarity scores” to assess potential compatibility.
Additionally, a platform may also analyze factors of your behavior patterns, such as response time or messaging frequency, to gauge levels of interest in other users.
3. Communication Tools
Each dating site will have their own unique in-platform communication systems.
Typically, you’ll encounter a basic chat function that allows you to exchange short texts, plus a phone or video call option.
Phone or video calls allow you to check the vibe, confirm that the person you’re talking to is real, and get a feel for whether you want to meet in real life without having to leave the app or exchange sensitive personal information.
4. Safety Features
Several popular apps, like Bumble and Hinge, offer photo verification to ensure that your real face matches the one on your profile. However, note that unverified profiles can still exist on these apps and interact with other users as normal.
The team at Match Group, which owns Tinder and Hinge, uses “automated and manual moderation and review tools” to scan profiles for inappropriate language, pictures, and other suspicious activity. These apps can also block certain email addresses and phone numbers to prohibit suspicious individuals from using the sites or even ban accounts across all Match brands.
Pros & Cons of Dating Sites
Dating sites have their perks, but there are a few cons to be aware of, too — and some of the drawbacks can actually be the same as the positives.
Pro: Access to More Date Prospects
You can set your location on a platform to search for matches at a preferred distance — on Hinge, for instance, you can set your radius to up to 100 miles away. This allows you to see and interact with people far outside the scope of your everyday experiences and gives you more dating prospects to choose from.
Con: Too Many Options Can Lead to Disillusionment
But having too many prospects may make you feel overly picky — you might think that the supply of profiles is endless and then find yourself with no partner at all because you always thought you could find someone even better.
Having infinite options is just an illusion. Even though you can now access more people than if you weren’t using an app or site, try to remain intentional with your swipes and choices.
Pro: Ability to Date Outside Social Circle
Because online dating presents you with people who may not live near you or share the same experiences, you’re likely to be exposed to matches who work different jobs, are from different ethnic backgrounds, or practice different religions.
If you work in an office that employs the same types of people and practice hobbies with similar-minded people, dating apps are a great way for you to date outside of your typical social circle.
Con: Algorithms Can Exacerbate User Biases
If you’re shown the same types of people over and over again thanks to the algorithm, you may start to lean into your biases more than usual and avoid meeting new people with new experiences. While preferences are valid, algorithms can definitely make biases harder to avoid.
Pro: It’s Easier & Safer Than Trying to Date in Person
Going on real-life dates back to back can get exhausting, and it’s far less intimidating to open with a text over Tinder than it is to walk up to someone attractive at a bar. Plus, you can vet your options from the comfort of your home and spare yourself unsafe experiences from blindly meeting someone in person.
Social Impact of Dating Sites
Dating sites will open your world up to new people, but you should also be wary of opening yourself up to scammers and social stigma. Learn more about how to stay cautious.
Fast-Paced Connections
After you meet someone online, you’ll typically exchange phone numbers and begin texting to learn more about each other. This constant contact can make your connection feel like it’s moving faster than it really is.
For some, this could be a positive — you get to weed out dealbreakers and decide sooner rather than later whether you could see yourself in a relationship with someone. It can also feel nice to establish a foundation to go into a first date with, rather than blindly meeting an absolute stranger.
But virtual connections can also move too fast. Try to pace yourself so that you and your potential partner still have conversation topics to discuss when you meet in person, if you plan to do so.
Catfishing & Online Scam Operations
Unfortunately, dating site users are often the targets of scammers seeking your personal information and finances. Romance scammers create fake profiles and build trust before asking you for money, usually due to a tragic accident or work-related reason.
While these scammers are lying to you, they may say they can’t meet you in person because of their work outside the country or their sick relatives. And when they attempt to scam you, they’ll tell you to wire money, add funds to gift cards, or even transfer cryptocurrency.
To keep yourself safe, be on high alert around any user who refuses video chat or quickly claims an elaborate and tragic backstory.
Stigma & Common Misconceptions
Although few Gen Zers and millennials would blink an eye at someone meeting their partner online — since they make up 26% and 61% of the online dating service user base, respectively — online dating is still unfortunately perceived negatively by others.
In fact, people who have never used a dating app are most likely to view them in a bad light. According to a 2020 study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 52% of American adults who have never used a dating app believe that these platforms are a not-too-safe or not-at-all-safe way to meet others.
People who have never used a dating app are most likely to view them in a bad light.
And 26% of those surveyed also believe that the impact of dating sites has been mostly negative. Common misconceptions appear to center around the fact that dating apps are misrepresentative of their users and therefore unsafe.
Some also share concerns that dating apps don’t lead to lasting relationships or that people who meet on apps are lower in quality compared to the general public since they can’t meet a partner in person. Considering the fact that three in 10 U.S. adults have ever used a dating app or site, though, it’s untrue that the platforms are only for a specific kind of person.
The Future of Dating Sites Looks Bright
Dating sites have transformed single life. With the help of the internet, you’re able to access singles at your fingertips, unrestrained by travel time or the fact that it used to be impossible to talk to five dateable singles in one night. Plus, with filtering capabilities, you can also find someone who’s just your type with less effort.
Don’t let the high-tech aspects of online dating scare you away. I know it may feel too futuristic to think about meeting the love of your life for the first time via video chat; dating sites might surprise you! Technology can actually enable deeper personal connections and put people in your path that you may have never met without the help of an online platform.
