Love is hard no matter who you are. But let’s be honest, lesbian singles in the dating world face unique challenges — social stigmas, lack of intersectionality, and a limited dating pool, to name a few. Even though many of today’s heteronormative dating apps have integrated same-sex matching options into their platforms, the truth remains: Nothing beats going straight to the source.
In other words, why not focus on queer-only dating apps?
Many have emerged throughout the years, but HER has landed itself among the highest ranks of lesbian dating apps in the world since its launch in 2013. In this article, we delve into what makes HER a go-to choice for women who love women and examine a handful of alternatives, each offering a distinct approach to lesbian romance. Let’s jump right in.
The HER Story | Community Features | Alternatives | FAQs | Verdict
Helping Lesbians Find Long-Term Relationships
As a queer person herself, HER Founder Robyn Exton felt that the scene left a lot to be desired before she launched her award-winning lesbian dating app. Sure, apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge existed, but those Adam-and-Eve-type platforms just weren’t doing the trick.
“Lesbians exist. It’s a box on forms. Why has no one made an app for us?” she pointed out. Exton set out to create a dating space that was safe, accessible, and exclusive to lesbian singles. More than a decade later, she’s accomplished that — and much more. HER is now one of the leading queer apps for lesbian singles in the world (with approximately 4 million users), bringing thousands of women together every month.
Singles can use the platform to find anything from casual hookups to short-term flings to platonic friendships. But the app is primarily preferred by those seeking meaningful, longer-term connections.
As one HER user stated: “I finally met HER on HER. I met the one! Yes; the one we all wait for and gush after! We are now one of those happy success stories!”
LGBTQ+ Community Focus Distinguishes HER
More than a starting point for beautiful lesbian love stories, HER has undergone an impressive expansion that solidified its position as a stand-out in the online dating world. Noticing a lack of queer-only spaces in the physical world, Exton and other HER team aimed to fill that need in a digital space instead.
In 2018, the app launched a Communities feature that allows users to connect over shared interests, topics, and identities. “Queer Women of Color,” “Mindfulness,” and “Well-Being” are just a few examples of the broad spectrum of communities available for users to explore and use as a jumping-off point for meaningful connections. Its communities have since expanded from lesbians only to include cis women, trans women, trans men, non-binary people, and gender non-conforming people.
HER users can also post to a “News Feed” and create events within these subgroups. For example, a user could post a Sunday yoga class in the Well-Being community or a networking event in the Queer Women of Color group.
The platform has also integrated an Add Friend feature to highlight the lesbian dating app’s focus on authentic connections. When sorting through potential matches, users can swipe right (to indicate their romantic interest) or tap the Add Friend button to show their interest in getting to know the person platonically. One user prefers this feature when swiping on HER as it places “a little less pressure” on the relationship.
All of these intentional integrations help create a safe space within the LGBTQ+ community where relatability, authenticity, and exploration are apparent in the best way. “So much queerness happens inside of HER,” says Exton. “People describe it as feeling like you’re coming home.”
3 Alternatives to HER
When it comes to love — lesbian or not — we know that one size does not fit all. HER may be someone else’s cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean that it’ll be yours. And if that happens to be the case, understand that there are other routes you could take on your romantic journey.
Here, we explore three alternatives to the popular dating app HER: Match, eharmony, and LesbianPersonals. Each option has a unique style, benefits, and standout features that may be more compatible with your approach to finding love.
1. Match
Match supports the LGBTQ+ community by providing a safe online space where anyone can log on and pursue a real relationship. The female-friendly dating site prioritizes the happiness of its members and offers effective matching tools to help them land their dream dates. Whether you’re looking for new friends or a long-term love, you can trust Match to point you in the right direction.
- Women enjoy an expert-led online dating experience
- Can set specific date preferences for age, education, pets, etc.
- Premium messaging and video chat features keep the riff-raff out
- Browse Match profiles 100% free »
As one of the early dating app pioneers, it’s easy to believe that Match isn’t up-to-date enough to have created a successful — much less accessible — dating platform for women seeking women. But if we’ve learned anything from people like Lionel Richie, Jane Fonda, and Diana Ross, it’s that being older does not necessarily equate to being out of touch.
Match is committed to continuous growth and positive change, and its popular love-finding platform has evolved from a heterosexual-only dating app into an open-minded space now inclusive to the LGBTQ+ community.
Lesbian singles seeking more meaningful connections will likely find Match more fruitful than other apps — such as Tinder, Feeld, or OkCupid — as its signup and matchmaking processes are much more thorough. When users create their accounts, they can complete an in-depth questionnaire with dozens of specific questions designed to gauge lifestyle habits, values, and relationship goals.
Additionally, Match users are encouraged to put together a comprehensive and detailed dating profile that digs deeper than the surface level, allowing both the algorithm and potential matches to better understand you and what kind of relationship you desire. In-depth profiles are not required, however, so what you gain from this dating experience will depend largely on how much you put into it. (Such is life, right?).
Although Match touts an impressive daily user base of more than 30 million people, it’s important to note that the app is still primarily used by heterosexual, cis-gendered singles. As a result, it’s safe to assume that the matchmaking algorithm may have some hetero-normative influences.
2. eharmony
You may be aware the eharmony hasn’t always been the most gay-friendly dating service on the scene. But it has evolved greatly over the last two decades, and we have to give the team credit for becoming more accepting of all different types of love. Today, eharmony welcomes lesbian, bisexual, and queer women who are seeking a same-sex partner for the long haul.
- Profile vetting to get LGBTQ+ singles safe
- Compatibility ratings based on shared interests and values
- Binary gender options in the dating profile
- Browse eharmony profiles 100% free »
Launching onto the scene not too long after Match, eharmony is also known for its focus on bringing together singles who prioritize something serious over something casual. The app’s founder, Neil Clark Warren, used his background in clinical psychology to develop its signature feature: the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility Questionnaire.
The questionnaire gauges temperament, interpersonal skills, and relationship values and helps the platform maximize the algorithm’s matchmaking capabilities and connect singles who may be more compatible. Users also have ample opportunities to get as detailed with their profiles as they’d like, which may particularly appeal to lesbian singles who have struggled with their limited dating pool and could benefit from the chance to express more deeply who they are and what they want.
Another eharmony innovation is its Guided Communication feature. Once a user finds a match, the app provides a step-by-step guide on how to get to know the person. “Send a First Round of Questions” and “Trade Your 10 ‘Must Haves’ and 10 ‘Can’t Stands’” are just a few of its suggestions. For users still exploring their sexuality or lacking confidence in their game, this extra push could be just what they need to take their online dating experience to the next level.
Women seeking women will also enjoy eharmony’s video chat and SecureCall capabilities. Video chat may be appealing for lesbian singles seeking to feel out the vibes of the other person virtually before investing in an in-person date. SecureCall — a feature that allows users to enjoy introductory phone calls with their matches without revealing their phone numbers — provides another layer of privacy in a world where homophobic hate crimes and harassment are still very much present.
LesbianPersonals is one of the most popular hookup sites for women because of its fun-loving and sexually empowering atmosphere. Women don’t have to play it coy or act like a lady here. They can outright state that they’re looking for no-strings-attached sex and find partners who want the same things.
- Open to single women, couples, and groups interested in sex
- Private text and video chats accessible 24/7
- Women add over 25,000 photos and videos each week
- Browse LesbianPersonals profiles 100% free »
Who doesn’t love a name that gets straight to the point? Lesbian Personals is a dating space for lesbian singles that gives traditional, long-term relationships a run for their money. You can find anything from summer flings to FWBs to more adventurous dynamics — can you say “ménage à trois”? — on LesbianPersonals, thanks to the lesbian dating app’s fluidity and flexibility.
With an algorithm that highlights romantic and sexual desires, lesbian singles from all walks of life can connect with matches looking for the same type of friendship or fun. Safe to say: The more clearly you can express what you want from this dating experience, the more likely you will get it.
In addition to the platform’s casual, anything-goes approach, many users also appreciate how it values the LGBTQ community. You can use the platform to explore potential matches, but the app also offers interest-based forums and discussion groups that facilitate learning and exploration. As a LesbianPersonals user who’s either new to the queer dating world, seeking out new, erotic opportunities, or looking for tips on how best to optimize their user experience, these forums can come in handy.
Suppose you are hoping to ditch the heteronormative vibes from more mainstream dating apps and not necessarily looking for marriage. In that case, LesbianPersonals is a must-have on your list of dating platforms to try.
FAQs: Is HER Safe for Lesbian Dating?
This queer-specific dating app makes the online dating world safer for single lesbians with its many security features, including profile verification, reporting and blocking tools, and customized privacy settings.
But the internet can still be dangerous, regardless of who you are. Sneaky internet characters looking to scam you, harass you, or worse do exist within these spaces, making it important to absorb as much knowledge as possible on dating app red flags before you start swiping.
Can I Find a Lesbian Hookup on HER?
Although HER is geared more toward lesbian singles seeking long-term relationships, we encourage you to remember that people interested in hookups are everywhere.
Many singles have used HER to find their next one-night-stand, Netflix-and-chill buddy, and other casual relationships — so we say give it a shot! The more upfront and honest you are about what you’re looking for, the higher your chances of finding someone looking for the same.
Is HER a Free Dating App?
The HER dating app is free to download on the App Store and Google Play, and the free subscription includes a lot of the usual perks — swiping, chatting, match suggestions, and the like. However, HER does have an upgrade option that users can pay for if they’d like premium features. The most valuable paid feature is the ability to see who has liked your dating profile. HER subscriptions are opt-in and start at $8.99 per month.
Hop on HER and Connect With a Like-Minded Partner
Finding lesbian love isn’t easy. But an award-winning app like HER makes the process easier. It has many stand-out features, a community-based approach, and an algorithm tailored to the queer dating experience. The lesbian-made dating platform has connected millions of singles since its launch just over one decade ago.
And if HER doesn’t happen to work for you? Apps such as Match, eharmony, and LesbianPersonals can help you keep the love train moving in the right direction. As with anything in life, you get out what you put in! So put in the work, be crystal clear with your intentions, and stay consistent. Even if you don’t meet the love of your life, you’re bound to meet some interesting characters (and maybe even friends) along the way!
