The block button has spared me from many a bad dating situation. I can recall a Hinge meetup that ended in me feeling pressured and fearful of what would happen if I declined his invite for a future date — and there’s also the ex that wouldn’t stop calling.
No matter the situation, I’ve always taken comfort in knowing that I had a way to put an end to things, because why waste precious time with jerks? But even though I can laugh about these situations with my friends, the truth is that blocking often spares us from potentially darker dating realities.
Having boundaries is crucial for your comfort and safety. Below, learn more about how to use the block button and the ways it can enrich your dating life.
The Basics of Blocking & Why It Matters
Online dating has come a long way since its initial iterations. Today, you can press the block button to protect yourself and prevent an unwanted connection from continuing to contact you. But above all, the block button allows for a level of self-advocacy and intentionality that has transformed the online dating landscape for everyone.
The Evolution of Online Dating
The first online dating platform, Match.com, launched in 1995, with far fewer safety measures than we’re used to today. On Reddit, an early user reported that using the site attracted significant stigma due to the stereotype that “online dating was for weirdos and freaks and they’d rape and murder you.”
Another user who dated online in the 2000s claimed that “women were extremely cautious about actually meeting. Often they’d want to chat for weeks first.” Evidently, safety and privacy play extremely important roles in modern online dating — people have always been cautious, and today, they’re more likely to meet quickly thanks to additional security features.
Mutual Matches Further Filter Options
In 2012, Tinder introduced its signature “swipe” mechanism. By allowing users to swipe left on profiles that they’re not interested in, Tinder’s mutual-matching method prevents receiving messages from anyone you’re not immediately drawn to — similar to a proactive block.
However, filtering your options doesn’t totally eliminate the need to block. Matches — even your “type” of match — can still exhibit the kind of behavior that requires pulling the plug.
The Benefits of Blocking
Blocking someone has several upsides. You’ll likely find that you feel safer, especially if you’re a woman or member of another marginalized community. Read on to discover the situations you might have already experienced and find out where blocking can help.
Empowering Users to Take Control
It’s an all-too-familiar situation: you’re at a bar with your friends, and someone you’re not interested in approaches you. You try to politely shut the conversation down, but they persist, and you begin to worry that you have no exit.
On a dating app or over text message, the block feature allows you a quick and easy escape from the situation by banishing the person instantly. You no longer have to fear the other person lashing out at you if you reject them or anxiously enlist your friends to help.
Creating Personal Boundaries
Dating is inherently personal. With that in mind, it’s important to create clear boundaries. You don’t have to feel guilty about utilizing the block button if the situation feels like it could turn dangerous — after all, when you’re making a decision about who you could spend your most intimate moments with, it’s OK to hit block sometimes.
Safety for Women & Marginalized Singles
It’s especially important that women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and singles from other marginalized groups are able to block others so as to avoid unwanted comments and abusive behavior. These daters are more likely to be subject to targeted harassment on dating apps.
According to a 2021 study from the Pew Research Center, Black and Hispanic people were more likely to be the targets of online harassment than white people. Additionally, women targeted in online harassment are more than twice as likely than men to say that the most recent incident was “very” or “extremely” upsetting.
The Psychological and Social Impact
Deciding whether or not to block someone can be difficult. While protecting your peace is top of mind, it also doesn’t feel great to cut loose a fellow human with real emotions. And if you’ve been on the other side of it, you know that the feeling of waking up with no way of contacting someone you thought you had a connection with can be hard to swallow, too.
Reducing or Exacerbating Toxicity?
Because no one wants to get blocked over their actions, blocking nips misconduct in the bud by keeping people on their best behavior and discouraging any repeat offenses.
With the block button, you might find that it’s easier than ever to reduce toxicity in your life.
However, it can also dehumanize the real people on the other sides of our screens. If all you have to do is click a button to never see someone again, matches start to feel like video game characters that can be disposed of without further thought.
It’s unlikely that you’d talk to someone at length at a bar or restaurant in the real world and then suddenly turn your back to them in the middle of the conversation — but that’s exactly what getting blocked can feel like.
Peace of Mind
When used correctly, the block function should reduce your anxiety and improve your overall online dating experience.
Now you can say goodbye to creeps and overly persistent matches. Opening your dating apps will feel less like a dreaded chore once you have the peace of mind to actually enjoy them.
Gatekeeping Your Inbox
Don’t get too block button-happy. This function allows users to be more intentional about the connections they wish to further pursue.
It can also keep you isolated from people who might actually be good for you.
Be mindful not to block anyone who doesn’t match your ‘type’ or immediately impress you, and try to remain open to new experiences and kinds of people. You never know when ‘the one’ will come into your life. They could be waiting for you outside of your comfort zone.
Blocking should be reserved for certain behaviors, safety concerns, and incompatibilities. If you conceal yourself in a bubble to avoid exposure to others, you’re not doing yourself any favors in the dating world.
Zero Tolerance
The block button gives you the choice to take action rather than tolerate an uncomfortable situation. But, given the gravity of the action, there is little room for indecision. And when you do choose to act, it’s important to practice respect as long as it’s not a dangerous or abusive situation.
Remember, the person you’ve decided isn’t a great fit is still just another person like you. They may be making you feel uncomfortable unintentionally, or your time together could just have run its course — either way, you have the option of letting them know that you’ll be cutting contact but wish them the best if it feels appropriate.
Future Developments and Trends
Expect block features to become more sophisticated with the advent of new technology. If you’ve blocked someone before and haven’t been pleased with the results — maybe they were still able to contact you afterward, or you still didn’t feel safe — you might see systems that mitigate these issues in the near future.
AI to Automate Blocking Systems
Tinder is already using AI to detect potentially offensive language in its messaging function. Before sending the message, a user will be presented with an “Are you sure?” prompt onscreen.
If the message is still sent, the recipient may be warned that the text could contain offensive material. A world with fewer unsolicited images and inappropriate texts? Sign me up.
AI gives users the option to hit block once they receive an unnecessary message, and when first introduced in 2021, the feature reduced the use of such language by 10% in early testing.
With every passing day, AI continues to advance. You can expect the tech to pick up on and protect you from even more in the future. This is a bright side to AI that we can all get behind.
Mental Health Resources
Several popular apps provide links to mental health resources on their websites. Bumble, for example, encourages users to contact the company and share negative in-app or in-person experiences while providing a list of region-specific hotlines for domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide prevention, and general crisis. In the future, expect some apps to present options to connect with a support resource after blocking someone.
Customized Blocking Features
Although blocking is usually a permanent act, potential future features might include the ability to temporarily block or mute a conversation for a set amount of time as well as customize your blocking options.
Temporary blocks might be helpful for situations where you’re feeling overwhelmed and want to pursue the connection in the future but need some time to reconsider.
Customizable blocking, on the other hand, could allow you to shield yourself from specific language or messages you know you don’t want to receive.
For example, envision blocking certain trigger words like “Asian” or “exotic” if you frequently receive fetishizing messages on apps. When you own your boundaries, you can make your online dating experience all the more fulfilling.
Reporting Features Becoming More Effective
Though blocking someone leads to a prompt asking you whether you’d also like to report a user’s behavior on most apps, the future may bring more effective reporting when combined with blocking. The two provide the most successful solution to scary dating situations, when used correctly.
I recommend blocking a person if it’s for personal reasons and reporting the profile in cases of inappropriate or dangerous behavior. There are instances where you’ll want to do both, because of course you’d want to prevent someone dangerous from contacting you.
But, reporting a suspicious individual means that their profile will be reviewed and possibly removed, sparing others from harm in the future. Blocking simply removes the user from your personal life.
An example of a personal reason for blocking is simply feeling a connection with someone else — if you let someone know that you’ve met someone else and feel that your time together has run its course but they respond negatively, it’s time to hit the block button.
You’ll know when to report someone when they begin to make threats, send sexually explicit photos or messages, or harass you with persistent, inappropriate comments.
Respectfully, You Gotta Block People Sometimes
No matter what your dating life looks like, blocking is a net positive for all of your interactions. Instead of feeling like you have to accept unsolicited photos or creepy messages, you can feel empowered to take control of your experience and create a safer environment for yourself.
Next time you’re faced with a Tinder situation out of the ordinary, trust your gut instinct and reach for the block button. While you may not owe a potentially dangerous individual an explanation, you owe it to yourself to take every possible precaution for your safety.
