I Joined Match at 29 Hoping for a Grown-Up Relationship

At age 29, I’d been online dating for a few years, but only recently had I gotten serious about not playing swipe games and looking for an actual long-term grown-up man to marry. That’s when I joined Match.

I’d known a married couple who’d met on Match, and I’d heard from friends that it was mostly 30-somethings who could afford to pay for it. I was financially stable and ready to upgrade if I needed to, so I started my journey.

I felt Match largely lived up to its reputation, and I was happy with how many freebies I could use to browse and meet people. I was eventually tempted by the tiered subscription levels and became a Platinum member so I could see who’d liked me.

I’ll take you through my experience on the dating site, including spilling the tea on my matches and how I got into a five-week romance.

Joining Was Simple

I set up a profile with four photos of myself. One was a simple smiling photo that I liked, well-lit, nothing fancy. Two were close-ups with my dog. One was taken at a winery.

In the Summary section, I described myself simply as a writer and a dog mom.

I introduced my pup:  “I have a 45lb black dog named Molly. She’s a hyper ball of energy, and she instantly loves everyone she meets… except cats. I think she wants to eat cats.”

Of the optional sections, I chose to fill in most of them:

But I left these blank:

I don’t care about astrology, and I don’t want to show up in searches for exercise or body type. 

Match let me choose my interests ranging from cooking to rock climbing. I only chose things I’d be fine with doing on a date, like bowling, playing cards, dining out, and movies. 

I also put “reading” as an interest because I own about 300 books, and anyone I’m with needs to make peace with that.

I ended up rather proud of my completed profile. It had some humor but also a lot of nuggets about my life and what I wanted.

I liked that Match emphasized personality over looks and gave me plenty of room to customize it with topics that spoke to me. I enjoyed writing descriptions that veered from silly to serious.

It certainly took time to put together the right combination of photos and written responses, but I think it’s well worth it to make a good impression and show I’m willing to try and put effort into dating.

Matches & Messaging

The profiles I swiped through on the Dashboard tended to be mature guys with good-paying jobs.

I had one close call where I saw a coworker’s profile. But that’s what the block button is for.

I didn’t get too granular with setting preferences for matches. Being in a small college town, I didn’t want to limit myself. I told Match I was looking for men over 25 within a 50-mile radius. I could’ve checked either of these factors as a dealbreaker but chose not to. As a result, I did encounter a good number of out-of-towners.

I marked only one “dealbreaker,” and it was for wanting or being open to having kids.

The advanced filters are locked to free members. Once I upgraded, I could sift through the dating pool by religion, politics, education level, and other preferences.

I only filtered by politics. I’ve dated across the aisle enough times to know it’s just not a good fit.

I had very little control as a free member. All mutual matches can chat on Match, but free members can’t see their likes (it’s all blurred profiles) or read their intro messages, so paid members are the choosers.

As a free member, I could send one intro message per day that would appear along with my like. Once I upgraded, I could send as many intro messages as I wanted. 

My inbox wasn’t flooded with messages — it was more like a trickle, depending on how much profile liking I was doing — but it was enough to keep my interest. 

I got five likes within the first hour of my profile going up and 17 likes total on the first day. I’d say I averaged about 50 likes in a week. 

When I was using the free plan, I got maybe one new message a week, but as a Platinum member, I could increase that number at will by looking at my like list and sending a like back. We’d instantly move to the mutual matches list, and the game would be afoot.

I liked the quality of matches overall. Being in a college town, I saw a good deal of grad students (I set my age range to 25 and older to keep undergrads off my list).

I went on a few dates with decent guys and spent about a month chatting with a math teacher who eventually backed out of our date plans to get back with his ex (womp womp).

Match sets a helpful “Your Turn” label when someone messages and doesn’t have an answer from you. It does require checking your Match inbox though, which I sometimes neglected to do…

I didn’t encounter any harassment on Match, and I think everyone in my inbox was genuine. 

The conversations weren’t any deeper than the ones I was having on Hinge or OkCupid, but there did seem to be an unspoken expectation of building a relationship. I didn’t feel the need to ask my matches about their intentions. Their presence on Match told me they were serious.

Cost & Benefits of Upgrading 

As a free member, I was banking on the guys I liked to make the moves. They had to be premium members to see my likes and respond to my intro messages. And I was capped on how many messages I could even send.

I felt some FOMO, so I waited for a 25% off email to hit, and then I jumped on it. 

Seeing who’s liked you is included in all plans but the Bronze Plan.

I had a few ways I could go with the tiered plans. The cheapest option (starting at about $5 a month) is the Bronze plan. It has only two perks: you can view unlimited profiles and you can rewind in case of an accidental swipe left. Not very appealing to me.

The Silver plan, which costs between $17 to $26 a month, has those two features plus seeing who likes you. That’s more like it.

Seeing my profile likes means taking the blinders off. No more guesswork or waiting for matches I can’t control. I relished the idea of going into a list of people who already like me. I could choose my matches and thereby decide who could strike up a conversation with me.

The Platinum plan has all the aforementioned perks and a tempting tea-spilling upgrade: message read receipts. Hear me out. It sucks, but it saves time when you know messages are being intentionally ignored.

Platinum also includes unlimited intro messages, a weekly Super Like, and a monthly Boost, as well as advanced filters.

I saw different offers based on whether I was looking on the website or the app.

On desktop, I saw annual pricing, but no weekly options:

• Silver: $10.99 a month for 12 months.
• Platinum: $20.99 a month for 12 months.
• Diamond: $22.49 a month for 12 months.

On mobile, I discovered the option to buy hour-long Boosts in packs:

• 10 Pack for $4 each
• 5 Pack for $5 each
• 1 for $6.99

The Boost feature doesn’t appeal to me, personally. I’m sure it helps some people (cough men cough) who feel overlooked online, but my profile typically had a backlog of 70+ likes. It got to the point where I would hide my profile (essentially an unBoost) to stop the influx so I could focus on the matches I was interested in.

I did enjoy using the intro messages, as I think they’re a nice personal touch to help break the ice with more than a general thumbs up. The downside is that free members can’t read my flirty greetings.

The Diamond Plan fixes that by letting users see who is a paid subscriber and which of the plans they’re using. This top-tier membership includes everything in the Platinum Plan plus:

• Filter by intent, who’s new, and subscribers
• See who’s viewed your profile
• Anti-Ghosting feature (reminders sent to your chat buddies to answer you)
• Auto boosting (more visibility during prime swiping times)
• 3 Super Likes per week
• Priority Likes

Being able to see who’s a paid member is very helpful for navigating Match. But is it worth $40.99 for a week or $35.84 a month for six months? That’s up to you. But I’d warn that going the cheaper route could mean wasting some time and energy liking free members.

Super Likes

If I wanted to interact with the curated profiles in the Highlights section, I’d need to come armed with Super Likes. I could pay $20 for 5 Super Likes, $40 for 12 Super Likes, or $60 for 20 Super Likes. 

It’s a pretty pricey way to say hello, but it certainly makes a positive impression.

I didn’t notice a big difference in quality between the Highlights profiles and the plain ol’ Discover section profiles. I’m guessing the Standout Members are just guys who’ve paid and gotten more visibility as a result.

Other Add-Ons

When going to upgrade, I was offered add-ons that would give me more curated options and more control over my dating destiny. The special upgrades included:

• Expert Picks: Hand-picked profiles by the experts for $11.96/month.
• Priority Likes: Being listed at the top for my matches for $9.99/month.
• Private Mode: My profile is only visible to the people I choose, costing $9.99/month.

I appreciate how Match positions itself not just as a meeting place but as a wingman and support system. If you’re looking for help or advice, the expert-led team is more than willing to lend a hand.

Worth It? Maybe If You’re Very Serious

I definitely think paid members have the advantage on Match. We’re the all-knowing fishermen who can see the landscape and make informed decisions about which fish to go after.

But, truthfully, I was getting by okay with a free membership. I could spend a few minutes liking 5-10 profiles and expect to get at least one match out of it.

My takeaway: The ability to see my likes made it easier to decide for myself who could talk to me online. I wasn’t sitting on the sidelines — I was calling the shots.

Paid members run the show on Match. As a free member, I’d bet every guy I met had a subscription. It’s less common for two free members to connect because they’re both sending blind likes.

And Match is definitely tipping the scales for its paying customers. I know that because my longest Match relationship happened because the site went out of its way to introduce him to me.

My Tale of Match Misadventure

It all started with an email notification. J. liked my profile. I ignored it. The next day, another email alerted me that he’d sent a message, and I could reply for free. I love free things, so I clicked.

J. was a paying member, and the email said he’d used his Reply For Free feature so I could message him back.

I hadn’t looked at my Match account that week, so without the emails, I wouldn’t have known about J.

He was a tech enthusiast who worked from home. He had a small dog. He met my standards in terms of education and family values, though he didn’t live in my town. Fortunately he didn’t seem to mind driving the 45 minutes to me. 

He was over-the-top eager and presumptuous from the start. He showed up to our first date with a candle in a gift bag and a card reading “It was nice to meet you, Amber.” 

I read it and thought, “You wrote this before you actually met me, though.”

We had sushi, and he complimented the eyeshadow I wasn’t wearing. I generally thought he was trying way too hard, but I didn’t want to reject him just for that. So we started dating.

His love languages were gift-giving and crossing boundaries. 

He wouldn’t take “I’m sick” as a no, but an opportunity to come by with soup. One time, I literally texted that I wanted some quiet me time, and he offered to drive to my house and read beside me. Hard no.

J. spent five weeks trying really hard to be in a relationship with me while I tried really hard to slow him down. I know it was five weeks because he sent flowers to my workplace after one month. In the card, he’d written “Can’t wait for the next month.”

I couldn’t stand the idea of another month of such codependence, so I had to cut the poor guy loose. I liked him, but not enough to see him every freaking day. The little gifts began to feel like bribes, and he friend requested my friends before he’d met them, without telling me. This guy had no sense of what would creep a girl out. 

I broke things off over text. He called me to talk it out. He said he was going to rescind his Facebook friendship. I told him I understood and wished him luck out there.

The same week, I went out with a guy from Hinge, hoping it would be a palate cleanser. It turned out to be my last first date. But that’s another story.

I See More Pros Than Cons on Match

I don’t think I’ve been very coy in this article about the fact that I like Match. I used it for months, and I would use it again were I not happily married to a Hinge husband. The big wins on Match are all about quality and streamlined features.

The platform offers a lot of choices from the signup process to the payment system. And it does a great job of kicking out the fakers because I’ve never gotten any suspicious messages from bitcoin experts or Nigerian princes.

My experience on Match was positive overall, even if it didn’t lead to love… and did lead to an awkward breakup conversation. I would still compliment Match for offering a good quality dating pool and letting me do quite lot of chatting and mingling for free.

Conclusion: Not a Guarantee, But a Good Bet

Match isn’t responsible for how the relationships go after you say yes to a profile. It’s simply putting compatible people in front of you. And I did think J. was compatible, in some ways. He just really, really needed to give me more space.

I think someone else might’ve liked his constant attention and his habit of showing up with a gift of some kind. I hope he found that person. I’m sure Match did its level best to give him more options.

Match is the sort of place where mature daters like me and J. can thrive. I recommend giving it a go if you’re bored of swiping and want to actually settle into real relationships. Or situationships. Whatever works for you.