Is OurTime Worth It? My Experience as a Paying Member

I’m a dating coach who’s been online dating on and off since the 1990s. I’m also over 65 and single, so when I got this assignment, I was only too happy to take a closer look at OurTime. 

If you aren’t familiar, OurTime is a dating site for singles over 50. It was launched in 2011 by People Media. It has a good reputation, though it’s not the biggest dating pool out there.

I think the only way to make an informed opinion about a dating site is to experience it the way a real user would. So that’s exactly what I did. I created a profile, I chatted up men, and I paid to use the premium features (some were worth it, others not so much) to see what the whole experience is like.

If I’m going to recommend a dating app, I need to understand how the features work and what the dating pool is actually like to swim in. Here are my thoughts on OurTime.

Signing Up in 6 Steps

The signup process took me 33 minutes. That was longer than I’d expected, but not because it was difficult. I just spent a lot of extra time crafting my bio and responses to prompts. I think it pays off to be more thoughtful in the write-in spaces.

Step 1: The Basics

First things first. I created a login using an email address. I had to go into my emails to verify that it was actually me.

I also needed to put in a phone number and go through text verification. I know some seniors might be nervous to give away their digits, but it’s the best way for the platform to keep catfish and romance scammers away.

Next I gave my first name and selected a preferred gender and age range for my match pool (I put 65-79).

Step 2: Location by ZIP

OurTime asked for my ZIP code. And I could set a preferred distance radius for matches. I always go with a large radius of 100 miles because I don’t have any qualms about driving for a date.

I believe distance doesn’t have to be a big barrier for mature dating. Many older singles are retired or able to work remotely.

Distance filters represent how far you’re willing to look. Singles living in a small town or rural area do better when they’re open to long-distance online dating.

I did meet a few men who said they were willing to drive to me, but more on that later.

Step 3: A Few Personal Details

I then filled in my height, relationship status, drinking habits, smoking habits, politics, and religion.

OurTime asked if I had children and then went a step further with a checkbox to specify if they lived with me.

Some of these questions can be skipped, but I recommend filling absolutely everything out. I know it can be tempting to present a perfectly curated version of your life, but it’s better to be real.

Step 4: Photos

Uploading at least one photo is required on OurTime, and it must clearly show your face. The main photo is rather important, of course, because it’s what potential matches will see first.

My main photo is a headshot of me in a red dress and matching red lipstick. I feel this shows confidence and accurately portrays how I look.

A compelling primary photo gets attention. And then additional photos add context.

I added a photo of me at a charitable event, one of me sitting on a log after a long hike at Lake Tahoe, and one in front of some ruins in Athens, Greece.

The more photos you add, the better. That’s more information you can give a match.

Step 5: Interests

I could select up to eight interests from a list of 80+ options. Some people skip through this quickly. Not me. I put some real thought into it.

Out of the choices available, I selected:

I wanted this list to give men ideas on where to take me on a date. I’d love a museum date instead of the usual coffee date. And I’m always up for a romantic getaway.

Step 6: Topics

Next I got to the prompts portion of the profile. OurTime called them Topics.

I could choose a question and write a response in my own words. Each Topic has a 150-character limit. That’s a challenge for me because (as this review is proof of) I like to write a lot.

The small space is a good thing. People don’t like to read long blocks of text. They’re scanning quickly for unique tidbits and fun details.

OurTime has 25 Topics inquiring about childhood memories, future goals, and everything in between. Here are the four Topics I chose to answer:

What makes these topics effective is that they have specific details. They give someone something to say to me.

I avoided saying anything negative…no one wants to read about personal gripes or disappointments on a dating profile. I wanted my profile to show that I’m fun. It gave glimpses of my personality, without going through my whole life story.

The Free Features Have Limits 

I started with the free version. I wanted to see what I could do without paying. I could view one profile at a time in the Discover and Highlights sections. 

The Search section had the usual filters, most of which were free. I could scroll through six profiles before OurTime blurred them out and put up a paywall.

I could send 10 likes per week. I could message anyone who matched with me. The free features were decent:

As a free member, I couldn’t see who liked my profile, and that’s a big limiting factor. I didn’t form any matches as a free member because I was swiping blindly.

The Discover section and Highlights section both show compatible profiles one at a time, and, much like swipe dating, I have the choice to like or pass on the person.

The difference is that the Highlights profiles disappear after 24 hours, and to match with them, I’d have to send a Super Like.

Super Likes

If you want to just dip your toes into paid features without a monthly bill, you can look into OurTimes add-ons. I wasn’t so interested in Private Mode, which costs $9.99/mo just to control who sees my profile. I wanted a bigger bank of Super Likes.

I started by purchasing a bundle of 10 Super Likes. That way I could connect with my suggested matches in the Highlights section. I was curious to see if it would increase my match rate.

I did match with two of the people in Highlights after I sent a Super Like, but I have yet to use up all of my 10-pack of Super Likes, as I like to use them sparingly. I honestly haven’t seen anyone worth spending them on yet.

I came to the conclusion that Super Likes aren’t for me. Maybe it works better for men who are more used to being the initiator? Sticking to one Super Like per month (included with Premium) is good enough in my eyes.

OurTime Pricing: What to Expect

The paid membership isn’t required, but it’s going to help. Premium members can use more filters and see who’s liked and viewed you.

OurTime’s pricing structure is comparable to its competitors. It is pricier than swipe apps like Tinder, but not by much.

A one-week trial costs $24.99, which feels high to me. That’s more than my weekly Starbucks budget!

OurTime doesn’t offer a one-month premium plan. The shortest term is three months. All plans automatically renew unless you cancel before the term is up.

I chose the six-month option because I think six months is long enough to give a platform a real chance. 

The Advanced Filters

OurTime allows paid members to filter by children, religion, drinking, smoking, and body type.

At first, it feels like a good idea to put something for every filter. But that risks narrowing the match list down to practically nothing.

For example, filtering only for people without children might not be realistic in the over-50 dating pool. My options went down dramatically when I adjusted to “no children,” so I left it open to any responses.

I think smoking is the only true dealbreaker on this list for me. 

I considered filtering by religion to find guys who are Jewish like me, but that’s more of a preference. I know everyone defines it differently, but for me, it’s fine to leave blank and talk to people of all faiths (or no faith).

I recommend using filters thoughtfully and sparingly. Sometimes the people who don’t check every box are the ones who are the best conversationalists or challenge you to go outside your comfort zone.

What Happened After I Upgraded

I was pleasantly surprised by the level of activity once I upgraded and by how thoughtful the incoming messages were.

Within a couple of days, I’d received messages from 33 men. So it’s safe to say OurTime has an active user base. I just needed a premium membership to tap into it.

As a paid member, I could see that my profile had gotten 99 views. So obviously profile visibility wasn’t the issue. The issue I’d had as a free member was that I couldn’t see my likes and form mutual matches by liking guys who’d already liked me.

I did some digging into my matches and chose to message back with 10 men. These men took the time to write thoughtful messages. They all seemed aligned with my lifestyle and relationship goals.

One gentleman who lived near San Diego wrote a long message. 

“Hi Julie; Hmmm! Not sure how this website works, but it appears as if we ‘Like’ each other.so I reviewed your interesting Profile again and it appears as if we might have several things in common! I also like your photos and smile.” 

Just that would’ve been a nice hello. But he went on:

“Now, it’s obvious that there is some travel distance between us but if there might be real chemistry upon meeting, that distance may not be such an obstacle. I might also have several possible solutions to reduce the travel impact!! So, feel free to re-examine my Profile and reply if you are so inspired – I’d like to get to know you!”

That message stood out because it was much longer than the rest. He was polite and considerate. He seemed serious about meeting me, even though we don’t live in the same city.

A good-looking silver-haired man described himself as “entering a new chapter,” which I took to mean recently divorced. He also said he was on OurTime to find a relationship. I liked that he said that upfront to me. That was a green flag.

It was good to see so many messages were specific to me. I got a few questions about my music tastes or my travel bucket list. 

I didn’t follow up with any guy who just typed “hello there” and thought that was good enough. 

Not every match was my cup of tea exactly, but I at least saw enough potential to feel hopeful that OurTime could work for a senior single like me.

Messaging: How I Filtered My 33 Matches 

Receiving messages from 33 men gave me a lot to do. I was kept busy deciding who I should answer and who I should leave on read.

Some messages were generic. Short, simple greetings with no reference to my profile. Sometimes just the word “hey.”  Those were easy to filter out quickly.

When deciding to go forward with a match, I do my research. I always check first to see if they have the subscriber badge. It signals they’re serious about the process and more likely to respond to me.

I also look for profiles that are more complete, including a well-written bio with at least three photos. I then scroll to view their relationship goals, to see if they want a relationship or something casual. 

If someone’s profile says they’re separated, I appreciate their honesty, but I’m less likely to want to match with them. 

I narrowed it down to 10 conversations, which I felt was manageable. Still a lot, but not as overwhelming as 33 chat notifications.

Most of the 10 men responded to me favorably. I took the time to make sure they were paid subscribers so they could read my messages.

Here’s what I said in some of my messages:

• “We matched through highlights, and I also relocated to the desert. What drove you to move out here?”
• “I enjoyed reading your profile, and we clearly passed the geography test. Care to start a conversation?”
• “I’m a Jersey girl! Where did you live in NJ?”

I received a reply from the New Jerseyan that said, “Good morning Julie! Your little note was a nice surprise to wake up to this morning. So glad you wrote.” He continued to say where he grew up in NJ, a town I knew of well, and talked about his life there.

One local retiree wrote in his profile: “Bonus points if you like great movies, good music, and the idea of eventually canceling our dating app memberships for the right reason.”

I said, “I also love music, and it plays a big role in my life. What’s your favorite genre?”

I had some promising men show real interest in a date. A man who lived 100 miles away said he had family near me and wouldn’t mind making the drive. He could combine a family visit with a first date. A win-win!

His bio was long (over 250 words) and got into the information I like to see. He described himself as a “true gentleman” who was semi-retired, well-traveled, and an avid reader. 

Since I have a photo posted of me on a golf course, one gentleman initiated the conversation by asking, “I have to know. Did you make the putt?” I let him know I have a good short game, and he gave me some golfing tips.

I found the response rate to be fairly high, especially among widowed men. I did try to whittle the conversations down to just a handful, as it gets hard to stay engaged and remember details while talking to 10 men at once.

I tell my clients that two or three quality conversations are better than a dozen “small talk” chats. I didn’t necessarily live up to that with my OurTime test account…there were just so many men to chat up!

Is It Worth Paying For?

Based on my experience, yes, paying certainly is worth it. I went from 0 to 33 matches in days. I think having a subscriber badge on my profile showed guys I was a serious contender worth liking and chatting up.

The difference between the free and premium versions was night and day. I’d compare it to a bite of one hors d’oeuvre versus a full-course meal. Having access to more communication makes the experience much more engaging.

The upgraded features that come with an OurTime membership include:

If you’re not really sure what you want and would just like to browse profiles casually, then the free version is better for you. Paying is an investment, and it’s most worthwhile for people who truly want to go on dates and form a meaningful relationship.

Big caveat: Paying doesn’t guarantee results. I saw a noticeable increase in matches, but I still needed to do my part to follow through and have a quality profile worth liking.

What I Noticed Overall

OurTime is not a fast-paced swiping app. People take their time reading profiles and writing messages, and that changes the experience.

My overall impression was good. The users skewed older, as expected. They also seemed more inclined to have long, well-written bios. That wasn’t true for everyone, of course, but it was a good trend to see.

A lot of profiles I saw mentioned travel, retirement, and long-term companionship as important for their lives. Some talked about children moving away or moving out.

In terms of safety, OurTime took reasonable precautions, much like I’ve seen on other sites. It had reporting and block tools, and it offered the ability to hide one’s profile from view by going into Private Mode.

The FAQs section had a clear and helpful breakdown on how that works.

Luckily, I didn’t receive any inappropriate messages, so I didn’t need to avail myself of the reporting system. I did see a few profiles that made me question how serious or genuine the person was, but nothing seemed blatant enough to report.

And I did come across a few outdated-looking photos that seemed to be from a different decade. I think that’s simply a bad habit of folks online dating in their senior years.

Where Most People Go Wrong

I see one big mistake over and over again with my clients. They say online dating doesn’t work, and I ask to see their dating profile and immediately see the problem isn’t swiping…it’s their low-effort approach to their profile.

Putting a little more time into one’s bio and photos can be a huge deciding factor in whether you land dates or stay dateless and frustrated.

A big thing is photo quality. A blurry photo just doesn’t belong on a dating profile. I don’t think that’s a hot take. But I did see some photos that looked like they’d been taken by a BlackBerry in 2011.

Rushing through the profile process is a mistake. So is letting it sit for months or years without updating. And then people wonder why it’s not working for them? 

Dating profiles need to be updated, tweaked, and refined regularly. I recommend doing a tune up about every three weeks.

Update your topics. Swap out a photo or two so your profile doesn’t look stale, and update your bio (even moving sentences or paragraphs around can help). These small actions are a good signal to the match algorithm that you’re an active user who’s worthy of highlighting.

What I’d Do Differently

If I were starting over, I’d honestly spend even more time on editing my profile.

Not rewriting it completely, but filling out more topics and making it more unique. And not copied from my other dating app profile. One guy asked me, “Haven’t I seen you on Match before?” Busted!

I think starting with a free account is a natural way to go cautiously and try to save money, but if I were going back in time, I’d go ahead and upgrade on day one.

The paid membership does get faster results, and there’s no sense waiting if I’m going to pay the money either way.

I’d also be slightly less choosy in my filtering on OurTime. That doesn’t mean I’d lower my standards, not at all. I’d just leave more room to actually look at a profile and weigh how much any supposed “dealbreakers” really mattered to me.

Pros and Cons

On some apps, the talking stage can drag on for weeks…or months. But I didn’t run into that issue on OurTime.

I noticed that interactions tend to move forward more quickly. Older people are generally more direct about their intentions, if only to save time.

That said, no app is perfect, and I saw some drawbacks as well.

OurTime’s free version doesn’t give you everything, but that’s also true of most dating platforms today. 

It has enough free messaging that a single person might be able to make it work; however, my advice would be to upgrade if you’re truly serious.

Why I Recommend OurTime

What ultimately sets OurTime apart is not the features, the pricing, or the interface. It’s the audience.

The gentleman I met from Seattle made a great impression by showing his cards early on and voicing a willingness to come to me. Like me, he’s in the stage of life where he has time to invest in new relationships and traveling.

That’s what impressed me most with my OurTime experience. Mature dates were everywhere, and all I needed to do was like and respond with equal effort.

The way to get results on OurTime is by being active with likes, keeping your profile polished and up to date, and keeping an open mind with long-distance matches. I’m sure glad I did.