I remember one dinner date so vividly. I can still recall the song playing in the background, the stars scattered across the sky, and how cold it was that night. I borrowed my date’s jacket to keep warm.
That night, my date told me I looked so beautiful and said he felt so lucky to have spent the past year with me. Then, I dug into my dessert, thinking there was a ring in there. Unfortunately, that wasn’t my lucky day.
But at least that experience gave me the idea to help my friend plan a dinner and propose to his girlfriend. I’m happy to report that the couple is now happily married and has one child.
Dinner dates have always been a classic choice for romance. They often signal the next phase of a relationship. However, the way we approach dinner dates has evolved dramatically over the years.
Now let’s explore the history of dinner dates, including their origins, cultural changes, and current trends. By the end of this article, you’ll understand what people are looking for in today’s dinner date. And more importantly, you’ll know how to impress your date when the time comes.
Definition of a Dinner Date
A dinner date is when two people share a meal in a romantic setting. People go on dinner dates to have private conversations or spend time together as an exclusive couple.
In the old days, a dinner date meant the man would pick up the woman and take her to a fancy restaurant. The man would wear a suit, while the woman would wear an elegant dress with pearls or gloves. But today, a casual dinner at Chick-fil-A is also considered a dinner date.
The Traditional Dinner Date (Pre-20th Century)
Dinner dates aren’t new; they have existed for centuries. People attended formal meals to showcase their status, manners, and charm. The food had to be good, but that wasn’t the main reason people attended.
Early Traditions of Courtship
Before the 1900s, dining was often an extravagant affair, especially in high-society circles. Think of grand, formal dinner parties where every detail, from the seating arrangements to the selection of fine china, the menu, and the music, was carefully planned.
The dinner party scene in “Titanic” is a great example of this. People gather, wearing their best attire to showcase their class and knowledge, all while being closely observed by one another.
What you display on a dinner date can influence others’ opinions of whether you’re suitable for the family in the future.
Influence of Cultural Norms
Cultural norms and societal expectations heavily influenced what people did on traditional dates. Everything was set, from the way you dressed to what you said during the meal.
The basic idea was that women had to appear as beautiful as possible, men had to demonstrate financial stability by paying for the meals, and both had to be polite.
Everything was set, from the way you dressed to what you said during the meal.
How about the conversation? People will have conversations about painting, literature, and even the weather! If you see it from a modern point of view, those dinner dates look like networking events where people try to make a deal through marriage.
Women are expected to be obedient and listen to how men run their world. No wonder Rose ran to the back of the Titanic’s deck. She must be bored to death.
The Shift in Social Norms (Mid-20th Century)
Fortunately, social norms began to shift thanks to technology. Information spread freely in the modern era, challenging the way things have always been done, including the way we date.
Rise of Casual Dating
After the Second World War, women demanded more roles in social life than just the traditional domestic roles of homemakers, raising children, and handling domestic chores. This feminist movement also changed the expectations of dating.
Gone are the days of stiff, rigidly structured dinner dates at high-end restaurants. Instead, people choose to hang out in more laid-back places like cafés and diners. Modern Western society also sees dating as a personal matter where only the man’s and woman’s opinions count.
This low-key vibe set the stage for casual dating. Now, two people can meet in person, grab a burger or taco, and chat for an hour or two. If they don’t feel the spark, they can go their separate ways.
There’s no dress code and no watchful eyes on every move. Plus, couples can talk about anything they want.
Influence of Pop Culture
Movies and TV shows play a huge influence in shaping how we see romantic dinners and dating these days. From “Beverly Hills, 90210” and “Friends” in the ’90s, “Sex and the City” in the early 2000s, the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”, and the blockbuster “Twilight”, I’m sure those movies somehow influence your dating life.
Pop culture has undeniably influenced how people date today. Dating has become less formal, and more relaxed, and often involves a greater focus on intimacy and physical connection.
It’s fair to say that dating is a skill everyone needs to master. Women need to learn to set boundaries so they don’t get taken advantage of sexually, and men must learn to give women room to speak or contribute to paying the bills.
There are no rigid rules in modern dating about how things should be done. It all depends on the agreement between both parties to ensure that everyone feels comfortable in the relationship.
The Digital Age and Modern Dinner Dates (21st Century)
Dinner dates used to be about having dinner, having a courtesy conversation, and calling it a night. But today, we have many ways to connect and meet potential partners. Curious how technology reshaped the classic dinner date? Let’s dive in!
Online Dating Changes Everything
According to author Logan Ury, in “How to Not Die Alone”, back in the day, we only dated within our communities — neighbors, classmates, or someone your circle introduced you to.
But now, online dating apps and sites have expanded the dating pool to practically anyone on the planet. The ease of meeting new people through swiping makes dating feel like an “easy come, easy go” process.
When it’s time to meet in person, spending money on a fancy dinner doesn’t always make sense. A quick dinner date at Taco Bell after work is more practical.
Is there still a place for the classic dinner date in modern dating?
Yes, the classic dinner date still exists.
People just wait longer to find someone special to ensure it’s worth the splurge. Additionally, the nosy onlookers of the past are no longer a factor in modern dating. If you take your date to a fancy restaurant, everyone is likely to mind their own business.
Interactive Date ideas
In terms of dating, modern couples have more activities to choose from for dinner dates. The classic “dinner and a movie” is okay for several first dates, but if you want to keep the spark of your relationship, you must be more creative.
For instance, instead of waiting for the waitress to deliver your meal at a table, you can take your date to a cooking class, prepare a meal together, and taste it afterward. Even if the meal turns out really bad, you can grab a Subway sandwich on the way home and laugh about the experience.
If you want to keep the spark of your relationship, you must be more creative.
Do you plan to impress your date with expensive wine on your next dinner date?
Instead of ordering expensive wine at a restaurant, why not invite your date to a wine tasting? Many wineries offer private wine-tasting tours for couples. You can enjoy intimate dinners paired with wine tastings and enjoy beautiful scenery.
Virtual Dinner Dates
Thanks to platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, and Skype, long-distance relationships have become manageable. Many people meet online these days, and having a video call has become a common measure to prevent being catfished.
Here are some ideas you can do if you want to have virtual dinner dates:
- Cook and Dine Together: Pick a recipe and cook the same meal in your respective kitchens. If cooking isn’t your thing, you can buy your food and eat it while chatting on video call.
- Virtual Movie Night: Choose a movie to watch together on a streaming platform, and use apps like Teleparty or Scener to sync your viewing. You can chat during the movie and discuss it afterward. Don’t forget to have popcorn to spice up the experience.
- Online Game Night: If both of you like games, this can be a good idea; otherwise, take it as a challenge to understand your date’s interests.
You must take your virtual dating seriously to make it feel special. Act like you’re going on a real date: dress nicely, do your hair, and apply makeup if necessary. Please don’t reply to emails while you’re on a video call.
Current Trends and Innovations
Young people are undeniably the driving force behind society’s evolving dinner date styles. In this section, we’ll explore what Gen Z does to bond with their potential partner.
Sober Dating
Meeting for a first date at a bar is a familiar move to older generations. But Gen Zers seem to have their own ideas and put a non-alcoholic twist on a dinner date.
The growing awareness of health and the negative effects of alcohol has made sober dating more popular among Gen Zers. They want to have more control and good judgment when getting to know someone new. Avoiding alcohol makes them feel safer, as it reduces the chance of being taken advantage of.
Wondering whether young folks are just staring at each other across an empty table? That’s not the case. They opt for drinks like coffee, juices, or fruity mocktails to set the mood.
At-Home Cooking or Delivery
After the pandemic, fewer people dine at fancy restaurants. Instead, couples prefer staying home together and either ordering in or cooking something themselves. There are many reasons for this shift: affordability, less hassle, and more intimacy away from the dinner down. Netflix and chilling can be the right decision for couples seeking to spend quality time together.
The food might be better as well. You can cook a favorite dish and flaunt your culinary skills to impress your partner. If neither of you wants to hang out in the kitchen, DoorDash or UberEats can bring your food directly to you within minutes!
This home-based dinner date lets couples focus on each other without worrying about dress codes or noisy restaurants.
Fast Food Dates
With the rising cost of living, Americans are looking for ways to have fun on first dates while still saving money. It turns out that dining at fast food restaurants has become a favorite choice for many. Our studies have found that Chick-fil-A has become the most popular first date destination for men in New York City.
A fast food date for your first meeting offers more value compared to a coffee date. With fast food, you can enjoy dinner, chat, and then head home. On the other hand, a coffee date might leave you hungry, and you’ll likely need to find something else for dinner — ultimately spending more money.
Dinner Dates Go From Formal to Casual
As we’ve seen, dinner dates have evolved from the mid-20th century to the present.
Gone are the days when the man had to foot the bill to impress. Today’s dinner dates are about mutual respect, understanding, and partnership. These aspects surely play a more important part in having a happy and healthy relationship.
Every couple can do whatever they want on their dinner date. You can watch a movie and make your own popcorn, go food truck hopping, visit a board game café, and more. There’s no one-size-fits-all rule for how a dinner date should look like in modern dating.
