In 1995, Match.com launched and made online dating a household name. Even though online dating connected many happy couples from the jump, it didn’t always have the best reputation in popular culture.
In the early 2000s, TV shows like “How I Met Your Mother” made fun of online dating. Many people viewed dating sites as a strange and even desperate way to meet someone. Most single people favored flirting and courting in person through a friend, at a bar, or at work.
Oh, how times have changed! Since the 2010s and the Covid-19 pandemic, dating culture has shifted dramatically. I’d argue that meeting people in person more difficult for my generation. But meeting online has never been easier.
Dating apps and sites are the new normal. Online dating allows singles to browse profiles and filter for compatibility before the first date.
Still, those considering jumping on the apps may worry about who’s on the other side of the screen. I pulled together some numbers about the average dater to bring clarity to the topic and help you decide if online dating is for you.
1. More than 1 in 3 Americans (37%) Have Used an Online Dating Platform.
Online daters are pretty common. According to a study by SSRS, 37% of Americans surveyed say they have used an online dating platform. When you take into account that many American adults were already in their present relationship before online dating was invented, that’s a pretty high percentage.
Gone are the days when admitting to using an online dating platform was taboo. If anything, singles who refrain from using online dating platforms may find their friends and family scolding them for not looking for love where the other singles are.
2. Almost Half of Singles are Primarily Looking to Meet Long-Term Partners Online.
Online daters want long-term commitment. Despite what your parents may think, many online daters are trying to find their partner or spouse. According to a study by Pew Research Center, 44% of online daters in a survey said they are primarily looking to find a long-term partner or spouse, compared to just 24% who say they are looking for casual sex.
Online dating requires some front-end work to narrow the search for more serious singles. From making your dating profile to messaging back and forth with potential dates, you need to put in some effort to find real connections when dating online.
That’s not to say that everyone on dating apps is looking to get married right off the bat. In fact, 40% of online daters are looking to date casually, and 22% are trying to make new friends.
No matter the stage of life you’re in, you can find a like-minded partner through online dating.
3. More Than Half of American Adults (53%) Aged 18-29 Have Tried Online Dating.
Online daters are young. In 2023, Pew found that 53% of surveyed Americans ages 18 to 29 had used a dating platform. That number was far higher than the 37% of respondents 30 to 49 who said the same.
Several factors contribute to the prevalence of online dating among young people. Young people are more likely to be single in general, with 47% of respondents aged 18 to 29 claiming that status compared to 21% of respondents 30 to 49 years old.
Young people have also grown up with online dating as a fact of life. This is especially true for those of us who entered adulthood around the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.
I was 19 when the pandemic began. For much of my dating experience, dating apps were the only way to meet someone. Even though I didn’t meet my partner online, I was using dating apps when I met him, and swiping put me in the right mindset for dating.
4. LGB Daters Are Twice as Likely to Swipe as Straight Daters.
Online daters are frequently LGB. Fifty-one percent of LGB adults surveyed said they have used a dating app, compared to 28% of straight daters.
Meeting partners in person can be more dangerous for LGB people than it is for straight people. They may fear being attacked or treated poorly for expressing their sexuality in public, especially in more conservative areas. Using a dating app can offer LGB daters a bit more physical distance to vet potential partners.
Dating apps also allow people with a smaller dating pool to find partners, both in their area and further away. Rural queer daters can find partners in their area or further away, and urban queer daters can easily connect with the dating pool in their city.
Different dating apps allow LGB daters to celebrate their sexuality or to keep it private if they so choose. Apps like Grindr allow queer men to remain anonymous while finding partners, and apps like Archer allow users to find community and celebrate their sexuality while dating.
5. Two out of 10 Men (20%) Who Have Used Dating Apps Are Current Users Compared to 11% of Women.
Men are more likely than women to stay online. Men are slightly more likely to have ever used dating apps (34% compared to 27% of women). But interestingly, they’re almost twice as likely to be current users of dating apps, with 20% of men being active on the apps.
It makes sense that men would be more likely to remain on dating apps, as it takes longer for men to find a partner through online dating. According to Shane Co., men spend an average of 8.63 months dating online before finding their partner, compared to 7.93 months for women.
While women are often overwhelmed by the number of messages and potential dates they find on dating apps, men are often led to feel insecure about their lack of matches. Women are typically more selective on dating apps, reportedly finding about 80% of men’s profiles unattractive.
Men may need to stay on dating apps longer due to the difficulty of finding a viable match.
6. Almost 4 in 10 Online Daters (39%) are Open to Dating a Non-Monogamous Person They Met Online.
Online daters are open-minded. Match Group’s annual Singles in America study found that 39% of online daters would be open to dating a non-monogamous person, regardless of whether they identify as non-monogamous.
Non-monogamy is an umbrella term for a variety of relationship structures that involve more than two people, such as polyamory or open relationships. While non-monogamy is relatively common – 31% of singles say they have been in a non-monogamous relationship at some point – non-monogamous individuals still encounter prejudice both in dating and society at large.
When entering into a non-monogamous relationship, singles need to clearly communicate their boundaries and desired relationship structure. Communication is important in any relationship, but in a non-monogamous relationship – especially between people with limited experience with non-monogamy – it’s essential.
At the same time, non-monogamy can be a happy and healthy relationship structure for many people. Just make sure to prioritize the relationship you want, whether that’s monogamous or non-monogamous.
7. Over 1 in 3 Adults (42%) Under 30 Have Used Tinder.
For young adults, Tinder reigns supreme. According to Pew, Tinder is by far the most popular dating app, with 14% of US adults (not just online daters) using the app. Among adults under 30, this is even more the case, with 42% of those surveyed saying they have used Tinder at some point. Bumble is the second-most popular in this group with 27% of surveyed adults having used it.
We are all for niche dating apps at DatingNews.com. They can be a great way to find partners with the same specific values, hobbies, or sexual and romantic interests just by being on the same platform.
But for those hoping to suss out a connection IRL, Tinder is a pretty solid place to start. Numbers do make a difference, and Tinder will allow you to find many singles in your area.
That being said, the best app for you may be different depending on your sexuality, gender, or age. Thirty-five percent of LGB men in the survey, for example, say they have used Grindr, compared to just 24% of respondents who say they have used Tinder. The best place to find a partner is, of course, where your best matches are.
8. Daters Are 50/50 on Whether Online Dating was Positive.
Like any form of romance, online dating doesn’t work out the same way for everyone. Some people find the love of their lives, while others encounter deception and heartbreak. Pew found that 46% of online daters surveyed said they believe the experience was a net negative, while 53% had an overall positive experience.
Singles’ experiences were similar – though not uniform – in different demographics. Men and LGB users were more likely than women to have positive experiences with online dating.
Women frequently face harassment when dating online, from receiving unsolicited sexual images to facing threats of violence. Understandably, this turns many women off from online dating overall.
Additionally, online daters who have paid for a dating app reported much higher rates of satisfaction with their dating experience than non-payers (58% had a positive experience compared to 42% negative). Maybe it’s worth paying for that premium subscription afterall!
9. Online Dating Made the Search for a Partner Easier, Said 42% of Adults.
American adults believe dating platforms can help in the search for a spouse. Forty-two percent of surveyed adults said that online dating has made finding a partner easier, while only 22% said that dating platforms have made it harder.
Online dating eliminates much of the randomness of trying to find a partner organically. You might walk out of a bar, grocery store, or coffee shop five minutes before your soulmate walks in, but if you’re both on a dating platform, chances are you’ll find each other. Dating platforms can take out much of the chance involved in dating.
It may seem obvious that having more options would make dating better, not worse. But younger adults are a bit more divided. Among adult respondents under 30, only 35% said online dating makes finding a partner easier, compared to 33% who said it makes it harder.
This dissatisfaction among younger adults has a few possible explanations. Younger adults never knew a world before online dating, so they have less to compare today’s dating methods to than older adults. The grass may just seem greener in the past.
At the same time, younger adults may just use online dating differently, resulting in a worse experience for users. Behaviors like ghosting – an inevitable part of using dating apps as a young person – can lead to dating burnout and frustration.
10. About 1/3 of Black Singles Have Tried Online Dating.
Different racial groups in the United States have similar rates of dating app usage. According to a study by Cloudwards, the racial breakdown among respondents who said they had tried online dating was 29% white, 31% Black, and 28% Hispanic.
Dating apps can introduce you to different kinds of people, some of whom you never would have met in your own community. Where you live, what you do for work and fun, and even where you shop are all heavily influenced by your background and biases. Dating apps take much of those filters out of the equation, making it possible for you to meet people you connect with through values and attraction.
People try dating apps at similar rates, regardless of race. But Pew’s study found that Hispanic dating app users are more likely than white or Black users to currently be using dating apps. Twenty-two percent of respondents who identified as Hispanic said they were currently on dating platforms, compared to 13% of respondents who were white users and 16% of respondents who identified as Black.
You’ll find plenty of singles of all races on general dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Match.com. But people who want to date within their own community can look to race-focused dating platforms to find partners. Platforms like Chispa, BlackPeopleMeet, or JDate offer singles a more tailored approach to dating.
11. Over 70% of Gen Xers Found Love on Apps.
Gen Z may use dating apps more than any other age group, but that doesn’t mean we’re using them well. We may need to take a lesson on online dating from Gen X. Forbes found that 72% of surveyed adults aged 43-58 said they found a romantic relationship on a dating app, more than any other age group.
Meeting up IRL isn’t everyone’s goal on dating apps, however. A study using Tinder data found that half of users in a survey don’t actually want to meet up in person (and two-thirds of users surveyed said they were already in a relationship).
When I was in college, it was common for my girlfriends to use dating apps to get a little hit of validation. It feels great for strangers to indicate that they’re attracted to you, and dating apps almost guarantee that you’ll get that, especially as young women. But for people looking to find a partner, the constant ghosting and noncommittal plans can be exhausting and hurtful.
If you’re trying to find a partner, take a line from Gen X and make plans to meet up quickly. The sooner you can move the connection offline, the more likely it will turn into something real.
12. A Whopping 45% of First Dates Connect Online.
Online dating platforms have become the most popular place to meet a date. A Forbes survey found that 45% of respondents said they met their dates on dating apps, compared to 33% in the survey who said they met their dates through friends, and 30% who said they met through social organizations. Those are pretty good odds for dating online.
People often complain that meeting online takes the spark out of early dating. You already know that your match is attracted to you long before you’ve first met, so it can be harder to feel butterflies as you ask them out or give them a compliment. Sometimes, that can take the fun out of early dating.
At the same time, you already know that your match is attracted to you. That makes it way easier to shoot your shot online. You don’t have to worry whether you’re misinterpreting signals or whether a date would make your relationship awkward. Meeting up with a match is a whole lot safer than asking out your coworker.
13. A Solid 77% of App Users Have Met IRL.
Dating apps may take up your time, but they won’t waste your time. The Survey Center on American Life found that 77% of dating-app users in the study said they have met up with someone they met online. When you take into account that many dating app users are just scrolling for fun, that’s a high number.
Online dating doesn’t guarantee you a relationship, but there’s no doubt that it’s effective at getting you through the first-date door. Finding each other is the hard part, and dating platforms make that easier than ever. What happens next is up to you (and your match).
The percentage of people who go on first dates with matches they met online mirrors the percentage of people who meet their partners online. Young people are less likely to go on first dates with matches they met online, with only 69% of young dating-app users having met up with someone they met online. Young adults may be less serious about online dating, or they’re more likely to go on apps without the intention of meeting up.
14. There Were 366 Million Global Dating App Users in 2022.
Dating apps are here to stay. Cloudwards found that there were 366 million global dating-app users in 2022, up from 223.9 million in 2021. That’s 4.6% of the population worldwide.
If you’re looking for the love of your life, chances are, they’re on a dating app right now. Finding them online is way more likely than bumping into them in public and asking them out, let alone receiving a positive response.
Dating apps make it possible for LGBTQ people around the world to find love, even in the worst of circumstances. They’re able to maintain their privacy while connecting with partners in countries that criminalize their sexuality. They still face dangers and hardship, but dating apps can make finding love possible.
When looking for LGBTQ love in foreign countries, consider using a source like Equaldex to learn more about local safety guidance and precautions you can take to protect yourself and your partners.
15. An Impressive 13% of App Users Get Engaged or Married to an Online Match.
I’ll say it again: Dating apps are not just for hookups and casual sex. Singles are meeting the real deal on dating apps. Cloudwards found that 13% of dating-app users got engaged or married to someone they met online.
If you get serious about meeting your partner online, you have a good chance that you will. Half of the people on dating apps aren’t looking to meet a partner in person, and some people (like me) will meet their partner in person while on dating apps. But those who stay online and get serious about dating are likely to meet the love of their lives.
This doesn’t mean that the first date you go on from Tinder is going to be the last time you go on a first date. But it does mean that if you keep an open mind, date consistently, and treat people with kindness, you’ll probably find your person.
Who Are Online Daters? People Like You!
If you’ve been on the apps for a while with little success, you may be inclined to throw in the towel on online dating entirely. “All the good ones are taken,” you say. But I’d reply that having a good dating strategy is a critical part of swiping and setting up dates.
Struggling to get matches? Think about refreshing your profile, or having a dating expert take a look at what you’ve got. Ask a friend look through some of your messages to see whether you’re putting out the right energy.
And if you struggle to get a second date or take it from “going on dates” to “going out,” think about working with a dating coach. Sometimes, we’re blind to how others perceive us, and working with a pro can help to fill in the gaps in our vision.
