Key Takeaways

Listen, I’m a bisexual, polyamorous woman married to a man who also happens to be a full-time sex and relationships writer. Trust me when I say, I know a thing or two about sexuality, labels, and of course, the different relationship styles it can bring about. But, to my surprise, there’s one I had never heard of before: AI-Sexuality.

You might be wondering, like I was, What is that? Well, it’s no secret that for decades, dating technology, like the endless swipe and matching with folks 0.2 miles away, has shaped how people find love, date and hook up.

But now, when you throw artificial intelligence into the dating mix, it may just be influencing something even more fundamental than how users send a chat. It may be influencing who they send it to.

AI might be affecting how folks experience attraction. And that attraction may not be to a person, but to AI itself.

Dating technology has shaped how people find love, date and hook up.

“Throughout history, sexuality has gone hand-in-hand with technology and society,” Jaime Bronstein, a relationship therapist and relationship expert at Joi AI, tells Dating News. “Online dating, which we previously debated, has become the norm, even mainstream. AI-sexuality is the next iteration.”

According to a new survey done by Joi AI, a new sexuality has emerged, one called “AI-sexuality,” a term they’ve coined to describe individuals who feel attraction toward or sexual curiosity about AI companions. Now, we know this sounds like the Spike Jonze film “Her” — and it basically is.

The research from the AI-relationship platform says that more than half of adults surveyed said they are open to experimenting with AI in a sexual or intimate context.

That’s not nothing. So what does it mean for the future of dating apps? Can AI-sexuality and dating apps — which were traditionally built for users to fall in love with real humans — coexist?  

The Data Behind the “AI-Sexual” Trend

Before you say that AI-sexuality can’t be real, the data will tell you otherwise. Joi AI surveyed more than 2,500 adults, and the data suggests a significant shift in how people think about intimacy with technology. 

As someone who recently covered a sex-tech convention in Amsterdam — one full of the latest and greatest sexual wellness innovations, including AI robot dolls and AI companions in the form of toys — I have to say that Joi AI’s findings didn’t surprise me.

Not only did 55% of folks say they identify as “AI-sexual” —meaning they find the idea of sexual experiences with AI appealing — but 61% say they felt more comfortable sharing sexual desires with AI than with another person.

“When over half of respondents identify as AI-sexual, we can talk about the early formation of a new category,” Bronstein says.

Sixty percent of respondents also said that using AI has helped them discover new kinks or interests, and 45% said they’d be turned on by bringing an AI “third” into their relationship. Now that really moves the hunt for the unicorn, doesn’t it?

In my opinion, this not only means that AI is being used as a tool, but that it’s offering a new space for exploring identity and desire.

Why Are People Turning to AI for Intimacy?

If you know me, you know that I’d never judge a person for what they’re into (unless, of course, it’s harmful to themselves or other people). But I must admit that I was curious:

Why are people turning to AI for intimacy when we have hookup and dating apps in the palm of our hands? Here are some thoughts.

1. A Judgment-Free Space

Obviously, it can be very hard to express sexual desires, especially if folks are worried about being rejected, judged or embarrassed in some way for what they’re into.

In that way, it makes sense that AI companions offer a safe alternative for exploring fantasies without having to actually tell someone IRL.

2. Total Customization

Unlike human relationships, where you may have to swipe to find someone who checks a few of your boxes, I can see why someone might view AI partners as the total package. After all, they can be designed to fit a user’s preferences, personality needs, and fantasies.

3. Emotional Accessibility

For some users, too, interacting with AI may feel emotionally safer than intimacy with human partners. I’m thinking, in particular, of folks who might have social anxiety, rejection fears or who are just experiencing modern dating burnout.

The Line Between Fantasy and Identity

The term “AI-sexual” may sound provocative, but I think it raises a deeper (and important) question: Is AI becoming a sexual orientation, a fantasy category, or simply a new relationship tool?

The answer, I think, lies in the way humans and society have evolved sexually over time.

Obviously, as the world has evolved and new things have become available, sexual norms have evolved, too. For example, how birth control reshaped people’s thoughts about and practice of intimacy, how online dating made a new kind of romance possible and how adult content reshaped sexual exploration.

In my opinion, I could totally see AI being the next stage of that evolution.

“For some people,” Bronstein explains, “AI is becoming a part of how they understand desire and identity.”

Even though it might not be for me, it is for somebody.

What This Means for the Dating App Industry

So what if AI-sexuality is really the next sexual frontier? What if this form of sexuality really starts to gain traction? What does it mean for the dating app industry?

Well, I think it means that dating platforms may need to reconsider how they approach intimacy technology.

1. AI Companions as Product Features

The obvious first: Dating apps could consider integrating into their products AI companions that not only help your users explore desires, but may even practice flirting until they are ready for the real thing.

2. AI as a Relationship “Third”

You know all those couples hunting for a unicorn? Your app could be a part of that. The idea of an AI partner entering existing relationships could open new features around fantasy exploration or couples’ experiences.

3. Data-Driven Desire Mapping

Another thing? AI partners on your app could reveal hidden patterns of attraction that your more traditional dating app side could use to refine matchmaking.

The Ethical and Cultural Questions Ahead

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mean that while AI intimacy is gaining traction, it also has some concerning sides, too.

Like, could AI companionship reduce motivation to pursue actual human relationships? In my opinion, yes, and it’s something that should definitely be addressed.

And, if we thought standards were high before, I think there is certainly a concern that being able to hyper-customize an AI partner isn’t great because it could lead to unrealistic expectations of the real people users are dating.

For those of you in the dating industry, it should also be said: AI could become a complement to dating, or it could become a competitor. I guess it’s all about how you approach it.

Is AI the Next Chapter of Sexual Identity?

So what’s next? Is AI the next chapter of sexual identity?

Of course, the term “AI-sexual” says so. And I do think it has a possibility. Before we know it, AI may become part of how people experience intimacy itself.

Whether AI becomes a tool for exploration, a supplement to relationships, or a serious form of companionship, the data suggests that the curiosity of it is already there. So consider this: How will you and your team respond?