Dating sites for married people offer a private and casual space to figure things out. After all, marriage isn’t for everyone.
Two of my friends got married when they were in their early 20s, and they knew it was a mistake by the time they were 25. They no longer wanted the same things in life, and the emotional strain was too much.
Sometimes a marriage grows stale, and it’s time to start thinking about your options for the future. Maybe you want to stick it out, or maybe you’re ready to call it quits. Maybe you’re considering couples therapy or relationship workshops. But, more likely, since you’ve found this article, you’re thinking about having an affair or an open relationship.
If you want to explore the dating scene on the down low, an affair dating site or hookup app can help you while keeping your secret.
Overall Best Dating Sites for Married People
Look, if you want to have an affair, we’re not here to judge you, and neither are the anonymous hookup sites listed below. It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you and your situation. Hopefully, these online dating platforms can give you the answers you’re looking for.
Ashley Madison is a breath of fresh air for single or attached folks experiencing a sex slump. This exciting dating site and app offer tons of opportunities to mingle, match, flirt, and hook up discreetly. Over 80 million profiles await you on Ashley Madison, and it's free to create an anonymous account.
- Discreetly arranges one-night stands and extramarital affairs
- More than 80 million profiles worldwide
- Travel-friendly features for seeking matches in other cities
- Browse Ashley Madison profiles 100% free »
Ashley Madison is certainly a top dating site for finding an extramarital affair. Its married dating database includes over 80 million cheaters, lovers, and mistresses worldwide. Ashley Madison members can blur or mask their faces in photos and set a locking pin on the app to ensure their cheating activity goes undetected.
If you’re thinking about straying from a spouse, you’ll be in good company on this married dating site. Ashley Madison members share similar frustrations and temptations, and they can give each other the comfort, sympathy, validation, and support that may not be as readily available at home.
Monogamy isn’t for everyone, and Ashley Madison is the best dating site that provides a totally judgment-free zone to see what possibilities are out there in the modern dating scene. The affair dating site costs $0 to join and offers free communication for all female users.
2. Flirt.com
If casual sex is your goal, then Flirt.com can be your wingman. This sex site offers anonymous browsing, advanced searches, and private communication, all for free, to help single men and women find a potential partner and arrange sexual encounters that satisfy their secret fantasies.
- A massive user base of over 70 million dating profiles
- Send a free private message or Flirtcast to get something going
- Exchange nude pics or adult videos with a Flirt member you trust
- Browse Flirt.com profiles 100% free »
Flirt.com has removed the barriers to romance by offering free messaging tools to all users. There’s no need to form a mutual match or go through an intricate song and dance just to start a conversation here. Just send a private message to someone who meets your search requirements.
Over 70 million people have joined the Flirt.com dating network, and the affair site sees more than 1 million daily active users. That’s a lot of options to explore, but don’t worry, you’ll have a lot of search filters and match suggestions to guide you along the way to a marital affair.
Flirt.com does not encourage married people to join its ranks, but this is more of a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. You’re not required to disclose your name, relationship status, or any specifics about yourself — you don’t even have to upload a picture if you don’t want to — so Flirt.com is a good option for anyone flirting on the down low.
3. BeNaughty
When it comes to arranging hookups, BeNaughty is fast, easy, fun, and safe. This dating site has built a global network of sexy men and women who want to skip the small talk and cut right to the chase. If you're interested in short-term romance, BeNaughty is the place to go and get your flirt on.
- A global network of naughty singles over 18
- Ability to blur nude and explicit content, if desired
- Advanced search filters and one-on-one messaging
- Browse BeNaughty profiles 100% free »
BeNaughty doesn’t mess around or waste time in the online dating scene. This casual hookup site puts people on the fast track to romance, and it doesn’t require users to provide their real names, relationship status, or personal details to take part in the fun.
Singles can choose a fun nickname and browse anonymously for as long as they like on BeNaughty. However, you will need to upload a profile picture (it doesn’t have to include your face) if you want to send private messages. Messaging is free for all women on BeNaughty, but a married woman can get extra privacy features — including secure incognito browsing and auto history cleaning — by subscribing to a premium plan.
BeNaughty’s premium plans can cost as little as 45 cents a day, and your payment will show up on your billing statement as paylwm.com, so a married partner on your bank account won’t be the wiser.
Registering for an account on Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is like speeding into the fast lane of the online dating world. This hookup site puts you in the center of action and encourages sexy singles and swingers to satisfy their secret fantasies. Anyone over 18 can join AFF and browse millions of profiles for free, but only full-fledged members have access to the revealing content in the community forums and chat rooms.
- One of the largest adults-only sex communities
- Free and fast registration process
- Dating forums and live chats foster live flirtation
- Browse Adult Friend Finder profiles 100% free »
AdultFriendFinder welcomes singles, couples, and groups seeking to go outside their comfort zones and solicit sex from strangers. The hookup site has over 105 million subscribers, and its swinger-friendly atmosphere makes it perfect for a married person.
Basically, AdultFriendFinder is a sexual playground where online daters can post nude pics, watch live strip teases, read erotic stories, and send flirty private messages that could lead to a casual hookup and a secret affair.
No matter what time of day or night it is, someone is always up on AdultFriendFinder, and you can always find a man or woman willing to chat and see what happens. Keep an open mind when you log into the AFF dating platform, and you’re bound to have a wild time making an adult friend.
FriendFinder-X offers sexy singles the gratifying experience of meeting hot dates within a few clicks. This hookup site is designed to excite people's imaginations and fill them with sexual energy. Whether you're chatting privately or in a group forum, singles and swingers can be upfront about their sexual desires, fetishes, and fantasies.
- A casual personals site for singles, couples, and groups
- Profiles have suggestive photos and strip tease videos
- Chat live via a two-way webcam or private messaging
- Browse FriendFinder-X profiles 100% free »
FriendFinder-X ranks among the top adult dating sites around. The hookup site provides a judgment-free space for singles and couples to explore their feelings and find new passion. New members don’t need to use their real names, connect through Facebook, or even upload a profile picture to browse this X-rated network. The married dating website is totally anonymous and free to join.
Newcomers can identify themselves as a man, woman, trans person, couple, or group, create a personals ad, and start flirting with sexually active male users and female users in their area. FriendFinder-X is designed to fuel local sexual encounters by prioritizing location when suggesting mutual matches in the dating scene.
Once you see a potential partner on FriendFinder-X, you can show your interest by liking the profile, or you can be a little bolder and send a live chat invite on the affair dating site.
OneNightFriend keeps things real by offering singles the chance to mix and mingle without making a big commitment. They don't even need a subscription to join the ranks of casual daters. This tried-and-true hookup website is part of a larger network of sex-positive communities that empower individuals to find local hookups more quickly and privately than they could at a bar or club.
- Safety settings ensure accountability for users
- Free login and browsing via search filters
- Profile pictures are recommended but not required
- Browse OneNightFriend profiles 100% free »
OneNightFriend.com is a hookup site where casual daters can express their desires and find like-minded partners. Not everyone in the user base is strictly single, and the platform allows individuals to maintain their privacy and anonymity online.
Real names are not a requirement on OneNightFriend. The dating site signup keeps things simple, asking only for gender, location, age, and some other basic information. Our dating experts recommend using a burner email if you’re looking for an extramarital affair because a notification email could pop up on your phone screen and out you as seeking a one-night stand on OneNightFriend.
7. SaucyDates
SaucyDates is an award-winning hookup site that takes online security seriously. The moderators check all profiles and photos before they’re posted. Erotic and revealing photos are permitted, but stock images or AI pics will be deleted. The straightforward interface makes it easy to find common ground through shared kinks and fetish. Sign up for free and get saucy!
- Verified photos
- Streamlined messaging
- Award-winning moderation
- Browse SaucyDates profiles 100% free »
SaucyDates welcomes kinksters and sex seekers without judgment. Anonymity is part of the swiping game here. All you need is an email address to get going with a new profile, and you don’t have to reveal your face in photos. Unlike other sites and apps, SaucyDates has no issue with body shots or even nude pics. Consenting adults are free to be kinky in this hookup space.
Users can choose to upload multiple photos, or they can set up a profile without any photos. You’ll probably be seen as a catfish or fake profile without a photo, but if you just want to lurk and not get found out, that’s a pretty good route to take.
Something cheaters will like about SaucyDates is that it doesn’t tie back to any social media profile or require an ID check. You can be completely anonymous and sus out local date options on your terms.
8. OkCupid
OkCupid's free communication features make it great for singles seeking a no-strings-attached hookup. The dating site and app allow singles to create a brief profile and dive into match recommendations within minutes. Singles can swipe up a storm until they strike a good match and take the conversation to the next level.
- Free private messaging available to all members
- Users can state that they're seeking hookups on their profiles
- Responsible for 50,000 dates per week
- Browse OkCupid profiles 100% free »
OkCupid is a free dating site and app where people can pursue their desires without paying for the pleasure. It’s free to send unlimited messages on OkCupid, and you can also benefit from the dating website’s data-driven mutual matching system.
One of the biggest pluses of OkCupid, besides the affordable price tag, is the fact that you can express yourself in countless different ways on your dating profile. You can even put that you’re “in a relationship” or “married” as your relationship status. OkCupid also has 22 gender options, 13 orientation options, and dozens of profile prompts to help users stand out in all the best ways.
“Any married people on OkCupid are [in the] Open Relationship crowd,” said a Reddit user. “It’s just that some of their spouses are unaware of that fact.”
9. Match
Match is an open-ended dating site where singles can make their own rules. Some are seeking heartfelt relationships that lead to marriage, while others just want to hook up. Sexy singles can hunt for a date by using Match's advanced search tools and live chat and video features. Unlike some other sites, Match doesn't restrict messaging to mutual matches, so you can woo anyone who strikes your fancy.
- Free profile browsing and liking
- Private chat rooms and video dates for Match members only
- Fast-working, time-tested AI match algorithm
- Browse Match profiles 100% free »
Since 1995, Match has introduced singles to a whole new world of online dating. The steadfast team never stops working on your behalf.
Match aims to create serious relationships based on personal compatibility. The online dating service doesn’t overtly cater to the married crowd, but some people in relationships create a secret account as a way of testing the dating waters. Just note that Match will delete your dating profile and remove your account if someone finds out about your marital status and reports you. So tread carefully if your goal is to find an extramarital affair.
In addition to its online matchmaking, Match promotes local singles events where hot dates are ripe for the picking. These events range from wine tastings to speed dating parties, and participants often say they’re a lot of fun.
10. Zoosk
Zoosk is a fun-loving dating site where singles can let go of their inhibitions and attract dates one private message at a time. The site's varied search options and communication features facilitate fast connections in a unique social environment. Zoosk members are a chatty bunch, sending over 3 million messages a day, so you won't have to search far to find hookups here.
- Fast-paced dating scene available in 80 countries
- Full members can send unlimited messages
- Advanced search filters help you zero in on the hottest dates
- Browse Zoosk profiles 100% free »
Zoosk has over 40 million members in 80 countries, so it’s easy to stay under the radar in this hustling and bustling dating pool. Since launching in 2007, Zoosk has distinguished itself as one of the most popular adult dating sites available.
As a casual dating site, Zoosk doesn’t require online daters to disclose their relationship history, education, income, or any personal details to create a free Zoosk dating profile — an email address, birthdate, and username are enough to get started. Once you’re an active member, you can use the Carousel to swipe through potential dates and send flirts, likes, messages, or virtual gifts.
Zoosk has a variety of communication tools, and many of them are free to use, so you don’t have to make a big investment in a paid membership to navigate this online dating scene.
Best LGBTQ+ Dating Sites for Married People
When the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in June 2015, many LGBTQ+ couples rushed to the courthouse to tie the knot, but some of those couples may have been too hasty in making such a serious relationship decision. Now that same-sex marriage is widespread, a wave of marital dissatisfaction is rising among people in the LGBTQ+ community.
Maybe you’re having second thoughts about your relationship. Maybe you miss the carefree single lifestyle. Maybe you’re just bored. Whatever the case may be, the following gay hookup sites can be your ally as you search for something to spice up your days — and your nights.
11. MenNation
MenNation has tons of X-rated content to arouse the senses and stimulate conversation. The hookup site attracts single men and gay couples all over the world and has grown its network to include over 93 million people. Free members can browse these profiles for as long as they want and send flirts to anyone who catches their eye.
- A massive men-only sex and swinger community
- Browse profiles and send private messages to your favorites
- Profiles feature erotic videos and sexually explicit blogs
- Browse MenNation profiles 100% free »
MenNation is a gay hookup site where men anonymously chat each other up and arrange sexual encounters. This is a dudes-only space, and some guys see it as a safe haven where they can be themselves.
Singles and couples have joined MenNation because they wanted something more out of their lives. Perhaps even a hush affair. The network includes everyone from married men in the closet and newly out 20-somethings looking to get some experience.
MenNation doesn’t ask for first names, addresses, or any personal information that could identify you to a spouse or someone you know. You don’t even have to upload a photo of your face. It can be liberating to make a dating profile on MenNation and pursue hot guys who know exactly what to say to turn you on.
12. Grindr
Grindr facilitates hookups by telling local singles where the hottest guys in town are and giving them a direct line of communication. It's easy to jump into this active dating pool and start flirting with gay and bisexual men near you.
- Sexually active men can create free profiles
- Matching system uses GPS information to find local dates
- Millions of prospects available in 192 countries
- Browse Grindr profiles 100% free »
Grindr is a popular gay dating app with over 27 million users worldwide — and counting. In 2009, Grindr revolutionized the way gay men meet each other by offering a location-based matching system that’s still in effect today.
Proximity is king on Grindr. The app only shows local dating profiles, and it encourages men to chat and match while hanging out at bars, clubs, and other social spots. If you’re on the prowl for a date, you can use Grindr to make something happen on your terms — and without leaving any trace of your dating or cheating activity.
One Reddit user said he has seen a few Grindr dating profiles with a relationship status of married, and he speculated that at least some of them are looking to branch out from straight relationships. “The anonymity is exciting,” he said.
13. HER
HER is a women-only (or “womxn” as the team says) dating app that helps cis, trans, and non-binary identified singles come into their own. This is a strict no-boys-allowed zone. HER encourages LGBTQ+ women to mingle by commenting on photos or events in the Feed, or they can like profiles to initiate a private conversation with a mutual match.
HER is the largest sapphic dating app, catering to over fifteen million women and non-binary users worldwide. Unlike dating apps aimed at heterosexual users, HER allows you to share your sexual orientation, pronouns, gender identity, and a variety of other facts about yourself that make finding your perfect partner that much easier.
I want to be clear that HER is not an affair dating app. It’s more about making new friends and finding dates in the lesbian community It does allow you to share your relationship status on your profile. Premium users can even search for potential dates based on relationship status, if so inclined.
FAQs: What Is the Most Successful Dating Site?
That depends on how you define success. Tinder has the largest membership base at over 630 million downloads and counting. Meanwhile, eharmony is the most likely to lead to compatible matches because of its comprehensive questionnaire based on relationship psychology.
On the other hand, Match has been around the longest (launched in 1995), and it has paired up countless couples on dates.
If you’re looking for niche dating sites, JDate is the most popular option for Jewish singles, while BlackPeopleMeet is especially popular among African-American singles.
Ultimately, I’d say Match is the most successful dating site because it has led to more first dates, relationships, and marriages than any other dating site or app.
Match has been in the online dating game for decades, and in that time, the team has perfected its matchmaking system to give a single person (or a not-so-single person) exactly what they want in the dating scene.
This top-rated platform can help people gain confidence, engage in flirtatious conversations, and meet people who give them the thrill they’re lacking in their daily routines. Whether you’re unhappily married or in an open relationship, you could use Match to broaden your dating horizons without going too far outside your comfort zone.
Is Online Dating a Good Idea?
Yeah, online dating can open you up to new people and experiences that can change your outlook entirely. Some people have found relationships on dating sites, and others have built confidence by going on dates and wooing attractive singles.
As a married person, you can use online dating as a testing ground to see if you really want to date a new person. You may find out that a new committed relationship or fling could make you happier than your current relationship, or you may decide that the grass isn’t actually greener. Either way, online dating can be a good way to anonymously explore your options in the short term without blowing up your personal life in the long term.
Online dating does come with some inherent risks, rejections, and disappointments, but there’s no faster way to pick up dates in the modern dating world.
How Much Does Ashley Madison Cost?
Ashley Madison is probably the most famous married dating website out there, and it is completely free to join. However, you will have to pay for a subscription plan if you intend to actually send messages and communicate with potential mistresses (or the male equivalent) through the online dating service.
An Ashley Madison subscription plan starts at $69.99 a month, and it includes unlimited messaging and discreet payment processing.
If you’re interested in an affair but don’t want to blow up your home life, then Ashley Madison could be the best dating app for you.
After suffering a security breach in 2015, Ashley Madison cracked down with heavy-duty security measures and strict privacy policies. You won’t see the words “Ashley Madison” show up on your credit card bills, and the app even disguises the icon on your smartphone as a nondescript black box, so significant others won’t know what you’re up to.
Online daters should note that Ashley Madison subscriptions will auto-renew every month unless you go into your settings and manually cancel them.
Ashley Madison offers free profile browsing and searches, but only paid members can send instant messages via the online dating platform, so it’s worth upgrading if you’re serious about having an extramarital affair or going outside the bounds of monogamy.
Is Gleeden Popular in the U.S.?
Yes, while Gleeden is based in Europe, it has a growing following in the the U.S. The original site was made by a married woman who had participated in several affairs and saw the need for discretion in the online dating scene. The dating website currently has over 12 million members, and many of them live, work, and date in the U.S.
No matter what your marital status is, you can join Gleeden and chat with date prospects who excite and intrigue you.
“I’ve been on Gleeden for quite a while now, and I’ve never been disappointed,” said one 46-year-old married man. “Every new encounter makes me feel overwhelmed with joy.”
What’s the Best Casual Dating Site?
If you’re already in a serious relationship or marriage, you probably want to keep things casual on a dating website or app. A hookup site like BeNaughty can help with that.
Unlike Christian Mingle or Facebook Dating, the BeNaughty network does not require any real names or Facebook logins to complete a dating profile. As long as you have a valid email address, you can join the fun.
Our dating experts often praise BeNaughty as a generally a good place for fooling around and arranging hookups. The dating service’s free communication and swiping can quickly escalate online chats to real-life dates.
BeNaughty keeps things real and encourages its users to send private messages that straight-up ask for sex. You don’t have to play coy in this sex-positive dating scene. Anyone who’s over 18 should feel free to explore their sexuality from the photo gallery to the message inbox.
You can use BeNaughty to build romantic connections, enjoy a secret affair, or even have a threesome with a married couple. Anything goes on BeNaughty, and it doesn’t cost a thing to set up an account and start hunting for matches.
Is Tinder a Good App For Married Affairs?
Tinder doesn’t market itself as an affair app, but sometimes a married person will use the app for that purpose. One study concluded that as many as 30% of Tinder users are married individuals and 12% are in relationships, so married dating is alive and well on the dating platform.
It makes sense that a married person would turn to Tinder for a break from a committed relationship. The free dating app is famous for creating casual dating opportunities — it has made over 97 billion matches since 2012 — and it is completely free to swipe, match, and chat.
The Tinder app offers a good setting for illicit encounters and heated affairs. Users can also upgrade to Tinder Plus to get additional features, including the ability to swipe outside their city or local area.
Fair warning: You never know who you’ll see on Tinder, and one of the risks of being in such a large dating pool is you may come across a person you know in real life. That could lead to some awkward follow-up questions.
Personally, I know of one couple who met on Tinder and got married, and then later rematched on Tinder while both were seeking extramarital affairs. Let that be a lesson to you: If you’re a married man or woman and on Tinder, swipe with caution.
Does Elite Singles Work For a Married Couple?
Short answer: no, Elite Singles is a mainstream dating site for single professionals, and it does not cater to couples or married people seeking illicit encounters.
Longer, more complicated answer: If you want to create an Elite Singles account and search for a match who is DTF or open to a hush affair, there is a limit to what the Elite Singles team can do to screen or stop your online activity — as long as you don’t overtly break an official rule.
Elite Singles members can only be flagged and disciplined if they go against the guidelines by, say, posting inappropriate photos or misleading online daters about their relationship status.
Elite Singles is not a casual dating site or a poly dating space. Members risk being banned by stepping outside the mainstream monogamous dating expectations here.
You Can Have a Secret Affair by Going Online
My friends had been in a committed relationship for nearly 10 years when they decided to get a divorce. The breaking point came when one of them had an affair and realized she had found the person she wanted — and it wasn’t her current husband. That illicit relationship prompted her to leave her failed marriage, and she’s now happily married to her new Mr. Right and raising their first child.
A marital affair may start out as an escape from a bad situation, but the experience can provide clarity (and yes, even happiness) if the people involved are honest with themselves and with their partners. Keep in mind that having an affair isn’t a long-term solution.
It’s important for a cheating person to deal with the underlying feelings of discontent that motivate them to seek comfort or intimacy in someone else’s arms.
Whether you’re actively seeking an affair or simply seeing what’s out there, you can use popular dating sites to make a fresh start and decide how you want to move forward. Good luck!
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