Two of my friends got married when they were in their early 20s, and they knew it was a mistake by the time they reached their late 20s. They no longer wanted the same things in life, and the emotional strain was too much for them to handle.

Sometimes marriages grow stale, and it’s time to start thinking about your options. Maybe you want to stick it out, or maybe you’re ready to call it quits. Maybe you’re considering couples therapy or relationship workshops. But, more likely since you’re on this article, you’re thinking about having an affair.

If you want to explore the dating scene on the down-low, the following dating sites and apps for married people can help you while keeping your secret.

Best Overall Dating Sites for Married People

Look, if you want to have an affair, we’re not here to judge you, and neither are the anonymous hookup sites listed below. It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you and your situation. Hopefully, these platforms can give you the answers you’re looking for.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★★ 4.8/5.0

When it comes to arranging hookups, BeNaughty is fast, easy, fun, and safe. This dating site has built a (read more)

  • A global network of naughty singles over 18
  • Ability to blur nude and explicit content, if desired
  • Advanced search filters and one-on-one messaging

BeNaughty doesn’t mess around or waste time in the online dating scene. This top-rated hookup site puts people on the fast-track to romance, and it doesn’t require users to provide their real names or personal details to take part in the fun.

Singles can choose a fun nickname and browse anonymously for as long as they like on BeNaughty. However, you will need to upload a profile picture (it doesn’t have to include your face) if you want to send private messages. Messaging is free on BeNaughty, but you can get extra features — including extra security and auto history cleaning — by subscribing to a premium plan.

BeNaughty’s premium plans can cost as little as 45 cents a day, and your payment will show up on your billing statement as, so anyone on your account won’t be the wiser.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★★ 4.7/5.0

Registering for an account on Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is like speeding into the fast lane of the online (read more)

  • One of the largest adults-only sex communities
  • Free and fast registration process
  • Dating forums and live chats foster live flirtation

Adult Friend Finder welcomes singles, couples, and groups seeking to go outside their comfort zones and solicit sex from strangers. This hookup site has over 97 million subscribers, and its swinger-friendly atmosphere makes it perfect for married people.

Basically, the AFF site is a sexual playground where people can post nude pics, watch live strip teases, read erotic stories, and send flirty private messages that could lead to an IRL hookup.

No matter what time of day or night it is, someone is always up on AFF, and you can always find someone willing to chat and see what happens. Keep an open mind when you log into AFF, and you’re bound to have a wild time.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★★ 4.5/5.0

FriendFinder-X offers sexy singles the gratifying experience of meeting hot dates within a few clicks. This (read more)

  • A casuals personals site for singles, couples, and groups
  • Profiles have suggestive photos and strip tease videos
  • Chat live via a two-way webcam or private messaging

FriendFinder-X provides a judgment-free space for singles and couples to explore their feelings for one another. You don’t need to use your real name or even upload a profile picture to browse this X-rated hookup site.

Newcomers can identify themselves as a man, woman, trans person, couple, or group, create a personals ad, and start flirting with sexually active people in their area. FriendFinder-X is designed to fuel local hookups by prioritizing location when suggesting mutual matches.

Once you see someone you like on FriendFinder-X, you can show your interest by liking the profile, or you can be a little bolder and send a live chat invite.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★★ 4.5/5.0

Ashley Madison is a breath of fresh air for married folks experiencing a sex slump. This exciting dating site (read more)

  • Discreetly arranges one-night stands and extramarital affairs
  • More than 54 million profiles worldwide
  • Travel-friendly features for seeking matches in other cities

Ashley Madison is certainly one of the most popular site for extramarital affairs, and its database includes over 54 million cheaters, lovers, and mistresses worldwide.

If you’re thinking about straying from a spouse, you’ll be among good company on Ashley Madison. People here share similar frustrations and temptations, and they can give each other the comfort, sympathy, validation, and support that may not be as readily available at home.

Monogamy isn’t for everyone, and Ashley Madison can provide a judgement-free zone to see what possibilities are out there in the modern dating scene.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 4.4/5.0

First impressions matter on Tinder. The dating app gives its users the chance to find romance by liking the (read more)

  • The dating app of choice for millions of sexually active singles
  • Accelerating the dating process through swiping
  • Has led to over 43 billion mutual matches

Tinder doesn’t market itself as an affair app, but some users do use it for that purpose. One study concluded that as many as 30% of Tinder users are married, and 12% are in relationships.

It makes sense that married folks would turn to Tinder for relief from their relationships. The dating app is famous for creating casual relationships — it has made over 30 billion matches since 2012 — and it is completely free to swipe, match, and chat here.

You never know who you’ll see on Tinder, and one of the risks of being in such a large dating pool is you may come across someone you know in real life. That could lead to some awkward follow-up questions. One couple met on Tinder and got married, and then later rematched on Tinder while both were seeking extramarital affairs. Let that be a lesson to you: If you’re married and on Tinder, swipe with caution.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 3.9/5.0

OkCupid's free communication features make it great for singles seeking a no-strings-attached hookup. The (read more)

  • Free private messaging available to all members
  • Users can state that they're seeking hookups on their profiles
  • Responsible for 50,000 dates per week

OkCupid is a free dating site and app where people can pursue their desires without paying for the pleasure. It’s free to send unlimited messages on OkCupid, and you can also benefit from its data-driven mutual matching system.

One of the biggest pluses to OkCupid, besides its affordable price tag, is the fact that you can express yourself in a lot of different ways on your dating profile. You can even put that you’re “in a relationship” or “married” as your relationship status. OkCupid also has 22 gender options, 13 orientation options, and dozens of profile prompts to help people stand out in all the best ways.

“Any married people on OkCupid are [in the] Open Relationship crowd,” said a Reddit user. “It’s just that some of their spouses are unaware of that fact.”

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 3.9/5.0 is an open-ended dating site where singles can make their own rules. Some are seeking heartfelt (read more)

  • Free profile browsing and liking
  • Private chat rooms for Match members only
  • Fast-working, time-tested AI match algorithm

Since 1995, Match has introduced singles to a whole new world of online dating, and it never stops working on your behalf. aims to create relationships based on personal compatibility. It doesn’t overtly cater to the married crowd, but some people in relationships create secret accounts as a way of testing the dating waters. Just note that will delete your profile and remove your account if someone finds out you’re married and reports you.

In addition to its search filters and messaging, Match promotes local singles events where hot dates are ripe for the picking. These events range from wine tastings to speed dating parties, and they’re always a lot of fun.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 3.8/5.0

Zoosk is a fun-loving dating site where singles can let go of their inhibitions and attract dates one private (read more)

  • Fast-paced dating scene available in 80 countries
  • Full members can send unlimited messages
  • Advanced search filters help you zero in on the hottest dates

Zoosk has over 40 million members in 80 countries, so it’s easy to stay under the radar in this hustling and bustling dating pool.

As a casual dating site, Zoosk doesn’t require people to disclose their relationship history, education, income, or any personal details to create a free Zoosk account — an email address, birth date, and user name is enough to get started. Once you’re an active member, you can use the Carousel to swipe through potential dates and send flirts, likes, messages, or virtual gifts.

Zoosk has a variety of communication tools, and many of them are free to use, so you don’t have to make a big investment to navigate this online dating scene.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 3.7/5.0

Plenty of Fish lowers the cost of romance by allowing casual daters to send private chats for free. It's easy (read more)

  • Free instant messages for all singles
  • Over 150 million members in 20 countries
  • The MeetMe section highlights local hotties

Plenty of Fish has removed the barriers to romance by offering free membership and unlimited messaging to all users. There’s no need to form a mutual match or go through an intricate song and dance just to start a conversation here.

Over 150 million people have joined the POF dating network, and the platform sees more than 4 million daily active users. That’s a lot of options to explore, but don’t worry, you’ll have a lot of search filters and match suggestions to guide you along the way.

Plenty of Fish does not encourage married people to join its ranks, but this is more of a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. To quote the community guidelines, “Being part of our global community means that you have a commitment from us to help ensure that you feel welcomed, safe, and free to be yourself.”

Best LGBT Dating Sites for Married People

When the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in June 2015, many couples rushed to the courthouse to tie the knot, but some of those couples may have been too hasty in making such a serious relationship decision.

Maybe you’re having second thoughts about your relationship. Maybe you miss the carefree single lifestyle. Maybe you’re just bored. Whatever the case may be, the following gay hookup sites can be your ally as you search for something to spice up your days — and your nights.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 4.4/5.0

MenNation has tons of X-rated content to arouse the senses and stimulate conversation. The hookup site (read more)

  • A massive men-only sex and swinger community
  • Browse profiles and send private messages to your favorites
  • Profiles feature erotic videos and sexually explicit blogs

MenNation is a gay hookup site where men anonymously chat each other up and arrange sexual encounters. This is a dudes-only space, and some guys see it as a safe haven where they can be themselves.

Singles and couples have joined MenNation because they wanted something more out of their lives. The network includes everyone from married men in the closet and newly out 20-somethings looking to get some experience.

MenNation doesn’t ask for first names, addresses, or any personal information that could identify you to a spouse or someone you know. You don’t even have to upload a photo of your face. It can be liberating to make a dating profile on MenNation and pursue hot guys who know exactly what to say to turn you on.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 4.3/5.0

As part of Friend Finder Networks, LesbianPersonals is a fast-paced hookup site built to satisfy. The dating (read more)

  • Create a free profile in less than a minute
  • Search filters can identify attractive singles and couples in the area
  • Strip tease videos, revealing photos, and other adult content

LesbianPersonals supports a female-friendly hookup site where women can “find love, lust, and more.” The site is open to singles, couples, and groups, and it’s not unusual to see people straight-up asking for a threesome or orgy.

Women who may feel neglected or undervalued at home can build their confidence and own their sexuality thanks to LesbianPersonals. The flirtatious yet respectful atmosphere is perfect for women seeking to explore the dark side of the internet.

You can choose to exchange sexy photos or videos with someone you trust, or you can stay anonymous and browse the LesbianPersonals network without revealing anything about yourself.

Hookups & Sex
★★★★ 3.8/5.0

Grindr facilitates hookups by telling local singles where the hottest guys in town are and giving them a (read more)

  • Sexually active men can create free profiles
  • Matching system uses GPS information to find local dates
  • Millions of prospects available in 192 countries

Grindr is a popular gay dating app with over 27 million users worldwide — and counting. In 2009, Grindr revolutionized the way gay men meet each other by offering a location-based matching system that’s still in effect today.

Proximity is king on Grindr. The app only shows local dating profiles, and it encourages men to chat and match while hanging out at bars, clubs, and other social spots. If you’re on the prowl for a date, you can use Grindr to make something happen on your terms — and without leaving any trace of your dating activity.

One Reddit user said he has seen a few Grindr dating profiles with a relationship status of married, and he speculated that at least some of them are looking to branch out from straight relationships. “The anonymity is exciting,” he said.

What is the Most Successful Dating Site?

That depends on how you define success. Tinder probably has the largest overall membership base, and eharmony is the most likely to lead to happy relationships, and has been around the longest.

Ultimately, we’d say is the most successful dating site because it has led to more first dates, relationships, and marriages than any of its competitors.

Online Dating
★★★★★ 4.9/5.0 has come a long way since it launched in April 1995. This well-reputed dating site has honed its (read more)

  • Match is the world's longest running dating site
  • The Discover section has search filters by interests, looks, lifestyle, and more
  • Match is available in 24 countries and 15 languages

Match has been in the online dating game for decades, and it has perfected its matchmaking system to give singles exactly what they want with no muss and no fuss.

Is Online Dating a Good Idea?

Yeah, online dating can open you up to new people and experiences that can change your outlook entirely. Some people have found relationships on dating sites, and others have built confidence by going on dates and wooing attractive singles.

As a married person, you can use online dating as a testing ground to see if you really want to date someone else. You could find out that a new relationship or fling could make you happier than your current relationship, or you could decide that the grass isn’t actually greener. Either way, it can be a good way to anonymously explore your options in the short-term.

How Much Does Ashley Madison Cost?

Ashley Madison is probably one of the most famous affair sites out there, and it is completely free to join. However, you will have to pay for a subscription plan if you intend to actually send messages and communicate with potential mistresses (or the male equivalent) here.

An Ashley Madison subscription plan starts at $69.99 a month, and it includes unlimited messaging and discreet payment processing.

Online Dating
★★★★ 4.1/5.0

Ashley Madison is an extramarital dating site with over 54 million profiles in its private database, and it is (read more)

  • A uniquely open-minded dating network
  • Privacy-conscious features
  • Over 1.4 million matches per month

After suffering a security breach in 2015, Ashley Madison cracked down with heavy-duty security measures and strict privacy policies. You won’t see the words “Ashley Madison” show up on your credit card bills, and the app even disguises the icon on your smartphone as a nondescript black box, so significant others won’t know what you’re up to.

Users should note that Ashley Madison subscriptions will auto-renew every month unless you go into your settings and manually cancel it.

Is Gleeden in the U.S.?

Yes, Gleeden is a popular extramarital dating site made by women who understand the need for discretion in the online dating scene. It currently has over 6.2 million members, and many of them live, work, and date in the U.S.

Gleeden has earned its reputation as one of the best sex apps by supporting people who want to enjoy something on the side without blowing up their long-term relationships or personal lives.

“I’ve been on Gleeden for quite a while now, and I’ve never been disappointed,” said one 46-year-old man. “Every new encounter makes me feel overwhelmed with joy.”

Married People Can Discreetly Join the Dating Scene Online

My friends had been together for nearly 10 years when they decided to get a divorce. The breaking point came when one of them had an affair and realized she had found the person she wanted — and it wasn’t her husband. That illicit relationship prompted her to leave her failed marriage, and she’s now happily married to her new Mr. Right.

An affair may start out as an escape from a bad situation, but it can provide clarity and happiness if the people involved are honest with themselves and with their partners. Having an affair isn’t a long-term solution, and it’s important to deal with the underlying feelings of discontent that make you seek comfort and intimacy in someone else’s arms.

Whether you’re actively seeking an affair or simply seeing what’s out there, you can use affair dating sites and apps to make a fresh start and decide how you want to move forward. Good luck!