Key Takeaways

HER dating app users are seeking intentionality and community in 2026. The app calls this a “sapphic restart,” pointing LGBTQ+ daters — and the dating industry — in a new direction, where success is measured by meaningful connections and emotional fulfillment, and not by relationship status. 

When we talk about ‘dating with intention,’ we don’t only mean that people are setting specific relationship goals and expectations. They’re often searching for something far less tangible — a sense of peace and renewed self-confidence, for example. 

In fact, 68% of respondents to HER’s “sapphic restart” survey want to start 2026 with a clean slate. “This isn’t about erasing the past, but carrying it forward with intention,” HER notes. 

Intentional dating isn’t new, but it does signal an ongoing attitude shift in the dating industry. Fast-paced, surface-level connections are fine and dandy, but more daters are on the hunt for something with substance. And they’re hoping the apps they know and (usually) love will make their goals a reality. 

Community is Key to Forming a Safe Environment

HER defines its community as being “in a state of active, intentional transition”, giving platforms that cater to LGBTQ+ daters a golden opportunity to appeal to newly intentional dater mindset. 

This intentional mindset didn’t come from out of the blue. Queer singles have no choice but to look for love in a world that, time and again, denies their right to express it. It’s no wonder HER daters report feeling disproportionately lonely and emotionally unfulfilled. 

HER notes that nearly two-thirds of its community (60%) is driven by a desire for “a secure, trustworthy connection rather than just excitement or physical touch.” In other words, they’re craving safety and community just as much as love and intimacy. 

It’s imperative that platforms really listen to the needs of their users, sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos told Diva Magazine. “I hope we see more apps and websites … evolve to be based more on who their users are, their preferences, and will give them more tailored matches based on these,” she said. 

Sixty percent of HER’s community say they seek “a secure, trustworthy connection rather than just excitement or physical touch.”

Niche platforms like HER can have an open line of communication with users so it can best address their needs. The platform’s user survey found that 22% of users said they are lonely and 16% said they long for emotional safety — statistics that give HER and other LGBTQ+ apps a clear direction for future innovations. 

In fact, 78% of respondents emphasized the importance of community in queer relationships, and some of the most prominent LGBTQ+ dating apps have delivered. 

HER, for one, provides specific chats for lesbian, bi, and trans daters to connect; Taimi allows users to create and follow groups within the app’s community; and Feeld hosts singles events so LGBTQ+ daters can meet face-to-face. 

These innovations aren’t groundbreaking, but they directly address what the demographics of these apps really want, making these platforms all the more vital. 

Roos predicts that LGBTQ+ dating events will continue to gain steam: “More and more people will continue to show up and try to find someone to flirt with at these events,” she said. “So, if you want to date, you can expect signing up for queer pub nights or runners’ clubs to be a good place to start.” 

Sapphic Daters Crave Intentionality and Self-Work

“Eighty-six percent of sapphics admit that daily life is filled with reminders of past loves,” according HER’s report. It’s no surprise that some daters are more emotionally attached to their exes than others, but as HER put it, “This data proves something we have always known: sapphic love lingers.” 

And we mean it really lingers, with 31% of respondents saying they can’t walk past certain coffee shops without getting flashbacks, and nearly half (45%) being triggered by a song or artist. These singles may be on the apps, but are they in any state to really engage? 

Queer women looking for long-term love may be tempted to jump head-first into a new relationship, but HER recommends taking a beat. Dating with intention means dating with patience. Apps can provide real value to daters by helping them figure out what they really want from a new relationship. 

Gamified platforms push for fast-paced connections, but this approach may not work for the respondents who struggle to make peace with the past. Platforms that combine matchmaking with self-work can better support these daters. 

Apps can help daters figure out what they really want from a new relationship. 

Case in point: Sapphic singles say they don’t only want to date for fun, but to heal old wounds. Sixty-seven percent of HER users redownloaded the app because they want to work toward inner healing, emotional depth, and authentic, meaningful connections. 

To this end, vague search filters and one-note user profiles are out, and uber-specific tags and personable profiles are in. Features that allow users to narrow down their own relationship goals are a must, as are tools that help them express themselves as clearly as possible. 

HER helps daters move forward by — you guessed it — emphasizing intentionality. “When the longing hits, we aren’t just spiraling,” the app said in its report. Fourteen percent can’t help but send a “How are you?” text, but a hopeful 37% choose to ground themselves in a healthy (and distracting) activity instead. 

But just because an activity distracts from the string of lost love doesn’t mean it isn’t healing. Platforms that encourage daters to slow down and really feel their emotions — to move with intention and purpose rather than with impulsivity — do good by their users, fostering a safe and comfortable environment in which they can thrive.