If you’re looking for shemale dating sites and apps, we interpret that to mean you’re interested in transgender dating and, potentially, don’t know the lingo of this world very well.
First off, let me clue you in that the term shemale is widely considered to be derogatory term for a male-to-female (MTF) person. You may see words like shemale and ladyboy used for transgender porn and clickbait, but few trans folks actually identify that way.
Secondly, shemale dating often denotes a sexual interest in a person who presents as female but has male genitalia. If that’s the case for you, free sex sites and gay hookup apps can provide more legit options than a so-called shemale dating site.
For this article, we’ve curated a list of trans-friendly dating sites that don’t sexualize or demean trans people. That means you won’t see the term shemale in the marketing language, but you will see trans singles in the platform’s match recommendations and swiping lists.
Best Overall Shemale Dating Sites & Apps
Seeking a transgender date can be difficult in the real world, but online dating tools provide more niche support and assistance. The good news is that a lot of mainstream dating services have become more trans-inclusive in recent years, so you don’t have to go down shemale rabbit holes to find a queer date.
Whether you identify as trans or cis, these are the top dating sites and apps we recommend trying to jump on local trans dating opportunities.
1. Butterfly
Butterfly has established a supportive transgender dating network where single adults of all orientations are welcome. Whether you’re seeking new friends, a hookup, or something serious, you’ll be able to mingle at your own pace and comfort level. The moderators are proactive about keeping negativity and hate speech out of view, so trans people can feel safe on the app.
- 20+ gender identities available
- Anonymous free browsing
- Private photo exchanges
- Browse Butterfly profiles 100% free »
Butterfly is an inclusive app that supports love for all. Its website says you can “connect with transgender folk looking for a serious relationship.” Though I suspect casual connections can be found, too.
It has strong safety and abuse policies to protect people using the app. For instance, it automatically detects transphobic slurs and replaces them with more acceptable terms and warns the person that they have been offensive. You can also easily block people.
People on this app know what they’re looking for, so you can be open and honest about yourself and what you want and focus on finding a meaningful connection.
EliteSingles.com maintains a sophisticated network of young professionals seeking a relationship. Over 80% of its members hold a bachelor's, master's, or doctorate degree, and over 90% are over the age of 30. Elite Singles uses an intelligent matchmaking system to introduce daters to someone on their level.
- Over 2 million monthly users
- Premium members receive 20 wildcard matches a day
- Search features include age, height, education, ethnicity, and lifestyle habits
- Browse Elite Singles profiles 100% free »
Elite Singles is a top-tier dating site and app where single professionals can form serious relationships. Its sophisticated matchmaking system relies on dating profile information, not swiping, to identify long-term compatibility between two users.
Trans singles can definitely qualify for this elite network and use its search tools for free. Elite Singles has binary gender options in its profiles, but it has open-ended sections where singles can discuss their gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship goals, and anything else that comes to mind.
Elite Singles can help trans singles rise above ignorance and form deep meaningful connections. Over 80% of Elite Singles members have graduated from college, and 90% say they are looking for a serious relationship.
3. Zoosk
Zoosk is a socially savvy dating site known for its diverse membership base and behavioral matchmaking system. Over 40 million singles in 80 countries have joined the network so far, and it's growing larger every day. The platform offers many different ways to communicate and express interest in members, so it's easy to form a fast connection here.
- Send messages to premium members for free
- Over 3 million messages sent a day
- Premium perks include photo verification and sending virtual gifts
- Browse Zoosk profiles 100% free »
Zoosk offers a combination of a social networking and dating platform. All its 40 million members have identified as single and search the database for a low-key chat, casual relationship, or something more. User behavior drives potential matches on the Zoosk site and app.
Zoosk has a reputation as a legit dating service where real people can exchange messages without making a big commitment or putting themselves at risk. That’s one of the reasons we’ve included Zoosk as among the most successful shemale dating sites and apps. A trans person can browse Zoosk under an anonymous username, keep their personal details private, and wait to upload a profile picture until they feel comfortable.
4. OkCupid
In 2004, OkCupid's founders decided to create a fool-proof formula for love, and they launched a free dating site to delve into what personal attributes made relationships work. OkCupid members can send unlimited messages for free. It's easy to discover mutual interests and compatibility on the platform's information-rich dating profiles.
- Free, unlimited communication for everyone
- Singles can swipe or search for a compatible date
- Over 91 million connections every year
- Browse OkCupid profiles 100% free »
OkCupid has already won over young singles by offering completely free messaging. But it didn’t stop there. The dating site and app have perfected a relationship questionnaire and personality-driven dating profile that encourage singles to express who they are and what they want.
In 2014, OkCupid upped its online dating game even further by adding dozens of gender and sexual orientation options to its profiles. The app currently has over 22 gender options, including transgender, trans man, trans woman, transsexual, and transfeminine (aka shemale).
What’s more, OkCupid allows singles to state upfront if they’re looking for friendship, casual dating, or long-term dating. That means no mixed messages if all you want is a transgender hookup or if you’re hoping for a lasting relationship.
5. Tinder
In 2012, Tinder pioneered a swiping-based match system that empowered singles to connect with dates who liked them back. Tinder users can message their mutual matches for free on this fast-paced dating app. Since its launch, Tinder has created over 97 billion matches worldwide.
- Supports active daters in 190+ countries
- The swiping system creates over 12 million matches per day
- Tinder Plus members have unlimited likes and 5 Super Likes
- Browse Tinder profiles 100% free »
Tinder is an undeniably popular dating app for young people. The app has been downloaded over 530 million times since its launch in 2012. And about half its members are under 25 years old.
In 2016, Tinder added 37 gender options to its registration system in an effort to become more trans-friendly and queer-friendly. According to the app’s internal count, the More Genders feature has led to approximately 150 million matches online.
Tinder has gotten flack for deleting trans dating profiles in the past, but the online dating app has evolved and gotten much better at looking out for the interests of the trans community.
6. Bumble
Since its launch in 2014, Bumble has positioned itself as one of the queens of the online dating world. The dating app turns gender stereotype on its head by empowering women to make the first move in a conversation with a man. Once you've made that mutual match, you have up to 48 hours to respond and make a connection.
- A feminist dating app puts singles on equal footing
- 60% of Bumble matches turn into dates
- Bumble Bizz and Bumble BFF spark non-romantic connections
- Browse Bumble profiles 100% free »
As the first ever feminist dating app, Bumble is a progressive force in the online dating world. Its team continually pushes the boundaries of what a socially conscious company can do for modern singles.
The most important thing you need to know about Bumble is that it puts female users first. Literally. A man can only message a woman on Bumble after she likes his profile and messages him first. Bumble gives women 24 hours to send a message to her match on the app. After that, the conversation disappears (unless a user hits the Extend button).
Transgender singles can rely on Bumble to keep them safe from unsolicited messages and sexual come-ons. The dating app encourages singles to keep things clean and show respect for each other. The photo guidelines ensure lewd, threatening, and inappropriate images have no place on the app.
Bumble has over 100 million members around the world, and it is responsible for countless relationships.
Best LGBT Shemale Dating Sites & Apps
Transgender is a gender identity, not a sexual orientation, so it’s possible for a trans person to identify with two letters in the LGBTQ community. Trans people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer can join same-sex dating sites to make a promising connection.
7. MenNation
Since 1996, MenNation has connected over 93 million men around the globe. This men-only dating site measures its success by the number of conversations and dates it facilitates with its intuitive matching system. Gay men love having a site to call their own, and its helpful features keep members engaged and entertained as they look for a hot date.
- One of the largest gay hookup sites in the world
- Search filters for age, location, physical attributes, and more
- Available in 12 languages and counting
- Browse MenNation profiles 100% free »
MenNation is a gay dating site with a scandalous reputation in the online world. The platform hosts sexually charged conversations and encourages adult men to bare their secret pleasures and fantasies.
The men who join MenNation may come from different backgrounds, but they share a common desire for gay sex. A trans man can be his most authentic self on this hookup site and mingle with drag queens, gay couples, bisexual swingers, and other sexually active men.
8. HER
HER is a women-only (or "womxn" as the team says) dating app that helps cis, trans, and non-binary identified singles come into their own. This is a strict no-boys-allowed zone. HER encourages LGBTQ+ women to mingle by commenting on photos or events in the Feed, or they can like profiles to initiate a private conversation with a mutual match.
- A quirky and unapologetic womxn-only dating community
- Queer events get users connecting IRL
- The constantly updated Feed facilitates social networking
- Browse HER profiles 100% free »
HER is open to any person who identifies as a woman — including a trans woman or transsexual woman. Over 10 million users have downloaded the free dating app and joined its all-female network. HER validates all new profiles through Facebook to ensure scammers, creepers, and unicorn hunters do not make the cut.
The HER app was created by a lesbian woman in 2013, and it has sparked countless friendships and relationships since then. The HER community offers a friendly and safe space for lesbian dating and trans dating. Plus, members can search for queer events by city or ZIP code.
9. Grindr
Grindr became the world's first gay geosocial app in 2009, and it continues growing its all-male user base more than a decade later. The app uses real-time GPS data to locate nearby date prospects and give gay and bisexual singles a chance to connect while they're out on the town.
- Social networking for gay, bi, trans, and queer men
- Location-based matches spark instant chemistry
- Grindr Equality advocates for LGBTQ+ interests on the global stage
- Browse Grindr profiles 100% free »
Grindr is easily ranked among the top gay dating apps of all time. Its online man party has been raging since 2009, and it’s not going to slow down anytime soon. The Grindr network currently includes over 27 million men in 190 countries, so you’re pretty much guaranteed to meet a local guy wherever you go.
Transgender men can identify as trans on the Grindr app. The platform also welcomes singles who are non-binary, queer, or gender fluid. Basically, the Grindr app is a matchmaker for any single person interested in dating men in the LGBTQ+ community. Its swipe lists lead to some of the hottest hookups and relationships in the gay dating world.
FAQs: What Does Shemale Mean?
A shemale refers to a transgender person who is transitioning or has transitioned from male to female. The term has derogatory and demeaning connotations, and it is definitely not for use in polite society.
Trans people have been called a lot of names that are less than flattering, so it’s important for cis allies to be aware of the connotations behind their words. Calling a person a shemale is disrespectful to his, her, or their gender identity.
The only instance where it’s appropriate to call someone a shemale is if that person self-identifies as shemale. Do not assume that anyone who looks androgynous or trans is all right with the shemale label.
Other potentially offensive terms for transgender people include ladyboy, tranny, sissy boy. A trans person may playfully self-identify as one of these labels, but you should not assume that is the case for every transgender woman. Don’t alienate a date by using the wrong language.
What’s the Difference Between Transgender and Transsexual?
Transgender is an umbrella term for a person who has a gender identity that is different from their biological sex at birth. A transgender person may style their hair or wear clothes to express their gender identity, but they do not have to make physical changes to their bodies to be transgender.
The term transsexual refers a person who is transgender and has undergone surgery to physically alter their sexual organs.
How Do Shemale Dating Sites and Apps Actually Work?
The online dating process starts with a free account. A new member registers by providing some basic information about themselves (age, location, sexual orientation, etc.) and submitting an email address to link to the new account. Note: A trans app may require a phone number or Facebook login to verify the user’s identity.
Once the dating profile is complete, users can start browsing the database by conducting a simple search or swiping on a curated list of profiles. Every dating platform will have a match algorithm to direct users to compatible date prospects, usually based on commonalities in age, education, and background.
Transgender dating sites don’t always have the best reputations when it comes to safety features and a large user base, so that’s why many of our recommended dating sites are for the general population.
For example, Elite Singles is a dating website and app where personal information and photos are kept private within the community, so it’s safe for a transgender person looking for a real life connection.
Elite Singles has raised the bar in the online gay dating scene and become a rallying point for ambitious, intelligent, and commitment-minded singles around the world. This upscale dating site caters to gay men who are looking for more than just a one-night stand. Every month 2,500 singles find love thanks to the Elite Singles network.
- Caters to professional men in the LGBTQ community
- A smart, no-nonsense matching formula
- Over 2 million singles are active on the site every month
- Browse Elite Singles profiles 100% free »
The communication rules will differ from platform to platform as well. You may need to form a mutual match before you can send messages to another person. Or you may need to pay for a monthly subscription to even read incoming messages from trans women on paid dating sites.
Free dating sites offer greater leeway to live chat and make romantic connections, but they do not always have security systems in place to stop spam and fake profiles from running rampant. That’s why our experts recommend setting up a video date to ensure your chat buddy is the real deal.
Are Shemale Dating Sites and Apps Safe to Use?
The sad truth is that transgender singles — and particularly transgender women — face significantly more challenges and dangers in the dating world. It isn’t always safe to meet and come out to a potential match in person. Transgender individuals should exercise caution and have those conversations about gender identity via text first to get a read on how the other person feels about it.
If you are feeling anxious, alone, or hopeless, you can always reach out to help lines to talk to a trans person who understands your struggle and can offer advice and support to get you through difficult times.
How Do I Know How to Choose the Best Shemale Dating Site or App?
You have to read between the lines to figure out which transgender dating site or app will suit your interests. Not every online dating platform has the database to back its promises, and some support a downright toxic environment in the name of trans dating.
If you identify as a trans person, you should be wary about joining a transgender hookup site. These niche spaces often attract more creeps and pervs than genuine online daters, and the overly sexualized climate can dehumanize a trans single.
One other thing to think about is whether you’re interested in paid dating sites or free dating apps. On the surface, a free dating site or app may sound like a good deal, but sometimes the best way to find a trans relationship will be behind the safety of a paywall.
Is TS Scene a Popular Trans Hookup App?
Popular? Yes. Effective? Not so much. TS Scene is a transgender dating site that outwardly promotes itself as a trans community, yet it lumps all trans members into one category. TS Scene categorizes its members as either a man, a woman, a couple, or a TS/TV/TG (transsexual, transvestite, or transgender). It does not ask members to identify as male-to-female, female-to-male, or nonbinary. The search filters are similarly reductive.
All in all, we’re not that impressed by TS Scene as a trans hookup app for some people. The platform seems to use trans personals as a signup ploy, and it’s unclear how many real members are online. The highly insensitive and stereotyping way the site discusses trans singles has led us to believe that its main goal isn’t to serve its trans members, but instead to serve them up as kinky sexual bait.
Is TS Singles a Good Trans Dating Site?
TS Singles is a respectable option in the trans dating scene. This transsexual dating site maintains high privacy and safety standards. Members can choose which information about themselves is visible in their profiles. The free registration process doesn’t ask members to use their real names and doesn’t collect credit card information.
All it takes is an email address to create a TS Singles dating profile and browse its trans dating list.
Free members can view profiles, upload photos, send virtual flirts, and join the TS Singles chat room; however, they cannot send private messages until they upgrade to a premium membership.
The downside to joining TS Singles is how small it is in comparison to other online dating platforms. The niche database is not as large as that of a more traditional dating app, so it may take longer to find a local date here.
The Trans Dating Scene Is More Than a Shemale Kink
The online world can inspire greater connectivity and foster like-minded communities of all shapes, sizes, and identities. You just have to know who you are and what you want.
You came to this article looking for shemale dating sites and apps, and we hope it’s because you’re genuinely curious and passionate about dating trans people. Not as a fetish. Not for a laugh. Transgender singles have real feelings and insecurities just like anybody else, and they deserve to be treated with respect — especially by a potential partner.
An online dating site or mobile app can introduce you to LGBTQ+ singles who are your type, but it’s up to you to turn your online matches into real-life dates and relationships. Good luck!
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