Dating apps are now the number one way singles meet their significant others. This means a couple of things. For one: “meet-cutes” in rom-coms have become more unrealistic than ever. It also means we can cut the sh*t and stop pretending that we “put our Hinge profile together in, like, 10 seconds.”
Whether we like it or not, dating app profiles have become one of the few access points between us and the sea of hotties in our cities, towns, or the world (if you happen to be using Travel Mode).
This process of analysis has become so intense that the singular choice of which picture to upload first can make or break the profile. Brutal, right? (Or effective, depending on how you look at it).
Don’t stress! I’m here to share some tips and tricks to help make the profile creation journey a little less intimidating. In this article, we’ll be unpacking the fundamentals of a “good” dating profile, current trends to explore, red flags to look out for, and trends shaping the industry.
The Fundamentals of a Good Dating Profile
Not every appealing dating profile you scroll through will look the same (thankfully), but I can guarantee all of them share a handful of similar qualities. Here are a few that deserve your attention:
Profile Picture
There are a few dating platforms out there that don’t require you to share pictures of yourself, but the mainstream ones (where most of your dating pool likely exists) do. In fact, these pictures (specifically your profile picture) will be the first thing people see when they’re swiping through potential matches.
That said, if you want to make a good first impression on your pool of local cuties, you’re going to want to put a decent amount of energy into selecting one that captures your digital audience’s attention. The photos that do this best will be those that are clear, high-quality, and authentic to your true self.
For your first photo, avoid blurriness, airbrushing, and photos that date back to more than two to three years ago.
If your platform gives you the option to post a series of pictures, you can include some artsy pictures for people to explore later on (as long as they’re real, fun, or reveal something interesting about you).
What’s important is hitting your audience with something to pique their interest and attraction right off the bat, then getting into the “personality pics” later.
The Bio
After your profile makes it through the first phase of analysis by the user, their eyes will then go to your bio. Again, this bio will look different for each app, but it typically consists of a message from the profile holder saying something about who they are and/or what they’re looking for.
Brief, concise, and engaging are the names of the game when it comes to bios, which means you’re going to want to avoid anything too lengthy or cliché. Statements like “I love to travel” or “Let’s see where the night takes us!” aren’t going to cut it.
Get specific about your intentions, or include a funny tidbit that reels people in. Swiping through Bumble this morning, for example, there were a few bios that I found moderately interesting:
- “I’m an idiot but at least I have a Costco membership” – Noah, 28
- “Looking for a tennis partner and someone who can support my daily intake of ice cream.” – Tim, 32
- “Who wants to ride in my Citibike basket?” — Jeremy, 29
- “Don’t worry, I’m uglier in person.” — Roberto, 30
- “My mom can take us there if your mom can pick us up.” – Ben, 31
I love a little sarcasm and a good bit, but everyone will be drawn in by different things (which is part of what makes dating so interesting!). The key, however, will be to set the tone with a true representation of your personality and to avoid negativity or complaints (unless it’s part of the shtick.
Platform-Specific Strategies
- Tinder: This app has a reputation for being a “hookup app.” This means that many users on this app are looking for quick, to-the-point profiles that give them the best idea of what they’re getting into. And if your pics are on point, you’ll barely need a bio. (This means exactly what you think it means).
- Match: The users you’ll encounter here move a little slower and with a lot more intention because their ultimate goal is to find real relationships of substance. That said, you’ll get the most bang for your buck on Match if you focus your time on curating mature profiles with a bit more depth.
- Hinge: In an attempt to stand out from its competitors, Hinge added prompts that users can add to and, sometimes, complement their profile pictures. These prompts are the perfect way for you to flex your banter game and share some insights about your personality, so don’t be shy: get creative with it.
- OkCupid: This platform was designed with depth and compatibility in mind. The app encourages users to invest in longer profiles that hone in on personal values, dating goals, and other factors that help others gauge relationship potential.
How to Improve Your Profile
Regardless of how charming, witty, sexy, or desirable you are, the truth is that there are millions of other singles floating around on dating apps who may be equally charming, witty, sexy, and desirable. Your job is not to prove that you’re the best out of all these millions but to showcase your authentic self in a way that attracts the right people.
Focus on Your Unique Qualities
Ditch the obvious stuff and shine a light on what makes you unique from others. If you’ve got a special talent for making pasta from scratch, talk about it; if you’ve got a sugar glider as a pet, let’s see some pictures; if you have dreams of becoming a stand-up comic, throw up that YouTube handle so we can have a look-see.
It can feel vulnerable to share some of these parts of yourself online, but the reality is that these unique features may just be what makes your future partner (or fling) swipe right.
Ask Engaging Questions
One thing about most humans? They love talking about themselves and sharing their opinions on anything and everything. This means that including thought-provoking questions in your bio works wonders in catching the eyes of singles on a swiping sesh and giving them a jumping-off point if they choose to start a conversation.
A couple of examples of engaging questions you could put in your bio are:
- “If you could go to any of the hotels featured on the White Lotus, which would it be?”
- “What’s your favorite Harry Potter movie, and why is it Goblet of Fire?”
- “What’s your ideal way of dissociating from the current, crumbling state of our pitiful world?”
Incorporate Humor and Wit
As I mentioned mere seconds ago, the state of our world is bleak on a good day. So, why not inject some laughter into your profile? It’ll give swipers a bit of a dopamine boost to help them through the day, and, more importantly, it will break the ice.
But be wary of making jokes that walk the line between dark humor and just plain mean humor. Anything that is too self-deprecating or, of course, offensive will likely be off-putting — to healthy, moderately respectful humans, at least.
Dating Profile Trends
Things move fast in the online dating world these days, and that includes the approaches online platforms take when designing their apps. Keep reading to learn about the three most prominent ones taking over the digital romance zeitgeist.
Video Profiles
Dating app companies are constantly seeking ways to set themselves apart from the rest, just like you are. Incorporating the option to add videos to your dating profile means users can leverage yet another tool in showcasing their personality to potential suitors, as well as boosting their profile’s engagement.
Here are some quick tips for selecting and/or filming a video for your dating profile: make it short (under 30 seconds), make it light, and make it real (no AI, please).
Authenticity Over Perfection
We had our fun with lo-fi edits and Snapchat filters over the years; now it’s time to lock in and get vulnerable. Today’s pictures signal a newfound appreciation for authenticity, candidness, and quirk. This looks like less airbrushing and more real-life moments that highlight your genuine personality interests, no matter how niche they may be.
Social Awareness & Activism
This last trend is a bit tricky because it can get performative, but it’s become popular to use your dating profile to mention the causes that mean the most to you. This may be especially helpful in attracting singles that share your same core values and life visions — which, in today’s climate, is particularly influential in determining compatibility.
This should go without saying, but if you mention any of these causes, make sure you actually stand behind them. That rainbow flag in your bio may lure in the bisexual baddie you’ve got your eye on, but she’ll sniff out your real stance eventually — whether it’s on date one or months down the road.
Red Flags to Avoid
Modern-day singles have a lot of people to swipe through and not a lot of time. And as important as it is to have a great profile picture to reel users in, it’s even more important not to have a bad one. That could mean having any of the following characteristics:
Overuse of Filters and Editing
I hate to admit it, but I went through a year of heavily edited Instagram pics back in 2017. I’m never going back, and neither should you.
Show people what you really look like so that there won’t be any surprises on your first date, and you don’t set an inauthentic or deceptive tone before the relationship even has a chance to start.
Cliché Phrases
I know you’re in a rush to get to your beginner’s pottery class, but I encourage you to throw up a bio that’s a little more engaging than “Looking for my partner in crime” or “Just moved to the city, show me around?” Chances are most singles on the apps will come across this phrase, or something similar, dozens of times per day.
Overly Negative or Desperate Language
Listen, we all know it’s brutal out here. But sometimes, these negative sentiments are better left unsaid, especially on dating apps.
Avoid including statements that give the impression of insecurity or desperation — such as “I’ve been single for way too long” or “I hate dating but I wanna find a wifey”.
You should also avoid critical statements about other people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across profiles that have said, “If you have food intolerances, don’t swipe right” or “No vegans please.” I’m sorry, but is that really necessary?
Excessive References to Exes
There’s a time and place to discuss your history of love and loss, but your dating profile is not one of them. Mentioning your ex, even in a well-meaning way, can be interpreted as you not being over them or an indication that you have an ongoing toxic relationship with them.
If anything, they’ll see your hangups as an immediate red flag — especially if what you have to say about your ex sounds something like “She’s crazy.” You’ll be far better off using that precious bio space to focus on who you are now and what you’re looking to get from this experience.
Do’s and Don’ts for Dating Profile Success
We’ve covered a lot so far. Let’s wrap it up, shall we? Here you are with the most important Dos and Don’ts for creating a profile that most effectively serves your dating goals:
Do’s
- Be genuine and authentic: It’s tempting to paint a picture of yourself that you think the world wants to see, but the facade can only go on for so long. Show up as the real you, and not only will you save time by cutting to the chase, but you’ll attract other people who are cut from the same cloth as you.
- Be specific about your interests and intentions: Clear is kind. When you say what you’re looking for you’re more likely to get it. If you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for? You can say that, too. Just don’t say you’re after something serious when all you want is a hookup.
- Use recent photos: We’re all thrilled that you were cute in high school, but that doesn’t really help anyone understand what you look like at 30. Include as recent photos as you can (no more than two to three years old) when you’re putting together your profile.
Don’ts
- Avoid being overly negative or critical: No one likes a Negative Nancy. Refrain from injecting your profile with any “doom and gloom,” and leave the criticisms of others to yourself. Feel free to talk as much sh*t as you want offline — we can’t stop you.
- Don’t overshare or reveal too much too soon: Both for your sake and for the sake of the person you’re interested in, I would encourage you to enjoy the slow build of getting to know each other, and if all goes well, you can spill your entire family lore when the time is right. Focus on building trust first.
- Don’t use overly sexual language or references: Personally, if I see anything sexual in a man’s profile or bio, it’s an immediate no for me, especially if I’m explicitly looking for something serious. Again, there’s plenty of time to talk dirty with your match when some trust has been established.
Make a Profile That Represents You
As of now, the chances of you meeting your next significant other on a dating app are higher than that of any other method, including organically, getting set up by a friend, or summoning Andrew Garfield to your front door via telekinesis.
This means if you’re looking to get serious about finding a lifelong partner (or at least a date to your brother’s wedding this summer), you’re probably going to want to join a dating app and make your profile the best that it can be.
“The best” that you can do is going to look different for everyone, but most of the profiles worth swiping on will have some similar qualities, including but not limited to:
- high-quality and up-to-date pictures (especially the first one)
- witty or interesting bios
- prompts showcase unique personality traits
Conversely, the profiles that tend to get hit with the “left-swipe” most often are those with blurry pictures, boring or negative bios, or text that comes off as too personal or just plain offensive. The more engaging, clear, and authentic you can be, the better your odds of winning in this wild and brutal game of online love.
