Online dating has changed since it first caught the attention of singles in the 1990s. Today, many people use online dating to find romance, partners, and friendships. But how do they do that? Simple — sometimes, all it takes is a wink.
A wink is a virtual tool used to experience interest in the online dating scene.
This article will highlight the wink feature on dating apps, and how it can help you advance in your dating journey and find the connection you’ve been looking for.
Winking 101
A wink, in the context of online dating, is a feature included on many dating apps. It serves as an icebreaker for members to show interest and catch someone’s attention without having to slide into their DMs. You can consider it the best online wingman (or woman) to aid you in the first stages of dating.
How Winks Work
When you think of a wink, your mind probably goes straight to envisioning one eye blinking. And you’re not wrong, that’s exactly what a wink is — in person. It’s used similarly on the apps. An online wink is a subtle, nonverbal interaction in online dating apps or websites, typically used to show interest without immediately initiating a full conversation.
Winks can have different names, such as “like” or “nudge,” depending on the platform.
In real life, a wink can mean multiple things. It can be a quick gesture that can be associated as friendly or flirtatious. So, reading the room and understanding the meaning behind a wink is important. If a colleague of yours sends a wink after y’all crush a presentation, you wouldn’t want to automatically assume it’s flirtatious because that could be awkward.
Luckily, singles don’t have to worry about reading between the lines with online winks. They’re straightforward and are meant to express interest, so there’s no need to second guess what the wink means. Online platforms made it easy for users to send winks with just a click of a button, and usually represent them as an animated icon or a simple message.
Platforms That Use Winks
There are plenty of platforms that use winks to help singles connect. Some examples are OkCupid, Match, and Plenty of Fish. Platforms like Match with 735,000 winks sent globally every day, rely heavily on winks to help singles with initial contacts. Platforms can also generate suggested matches based on winks that members send.
There are also variations of the wink, such as the “like” or “nudge” features on Tinder and Bumble that act in the same way as a wink. All of them are used to help singles to start connecting subtly with other members.
The Psychology Behind the Feature
Winks have a significant impact on how people communicate with each other now. It’s reliable and basically does all the initial talking for you. Which overall enhances the dating experience for singles and fosters connections through playful and low-pressure communication.
Non-verbal Communication
I like to think that nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal when it comes to dating. Your body can say a thousand words before you decide to open your mouth — and in some cases, it can do all the talking for you. Winks act as a form of non-verbal communication by conveying interest and attraction without all the pressure of a full conversation.
Nonverbal cues play a big role in building up that initial rapport in dating. Trying to guess if someone is into it is nerve-wracking, but a simple wink can solve that problem in a matter of seconds. Similar to in-person encounters, if someone from across the room sends you a wink, you’ll find it flirty and know that they’re interested. Winks act in this same manner online.
Flirting 101
Flirting isn’t always complimenting a person or saying a cheesy pickup line. In fact, some daters never get past the initial talking stage because they don’t go about flirting the right way. They either try too hard or say something inappropriate that becomes a turn-off.
Sometimes flirting is as subtle as a wink. Winks are the perfect flirting tool that signals interest without coming on too strong, and they are less intimidating than starting a text conversation. Messages can get lost in translation but winks basically flirt on your behalf.
Plus, the role of a wink is to gauge someone’s interest and encourage a response. If they wink back, great! It can be the start of a new relationship. But if they don’t, that’s ok too!
Basic Mechanics
Sending a wink isn’t rocket science — thank God! It usually just entails pressing a button or selecting an icon. Once you do so, it notifies the person you winked at and sends over your profile. It’s an easy way to introduce yourself.
As I mentioned earlier, winks are very similar to other forms of interactions on dating apps, such as messages, likes, and comments. But what sets winks apart from the rest is that they are a lighthearted interaction with little to no pressure to keep the interaction moving forward.
What Happens After Sending a Wink?
So, you just sent a wink and now you’re waiting. Now what? You’ll have to wait for the other person to respond with a wink back or sometimes even a message. A wink back is usually an indicator that they’re interested in getting to know you as well.
Bear in mind that winks can only go so far — it’s a nice introduction, but the rest is up to you. If you receive a wink back, that would be a great time for you to slide into the DMs. Regardless if you’re going to act on it or not, receiving a wink is always an exciting feeling. When winks are sent, the recipient receives either an alert on their phone or an email notification.
Advantages of Winks Over Messages
If you’re anything like me, you will reread a drafted message ten times before sending it off. Which I think we can all agree is a horrible feeling. Compared to messages, there’s no need to craft up a perfect opener to get someone’s attention online.
Winks do a great job at encouraging further engagement without the pressure to do so if you’re not up to it. Sometimes people respond to other messages not because they’re interested, but because they don’t want to be rude. But winks are more lenient, and it’s not expected for a person to wink back, resulting in real responses.
It can also take a person a while to respond to a message because they too can be overthinking it and trying to figure out how to respond. Whereas winks are speedy and don’t require long, thoughtful replies like a first message.
Why Winks Are a Useful Tool in Online Dating
Not everyone is jumping at the opportunity to shoot their shot at their crush. Anxiety and fear can all play a factor in why someone would avoid doing so. Winks are the perfect tool to use to help you get back into the dating game without having to step too far outside your comfort zone.
Creating Interest Without Commitment
Whether you’re willing or not, commitment can be intimidating for anyone — even on dating apps. Winks take away some anxiety by allowing users to express interest without the commitment of sending a message or following up.
If you’re not trying to put all your eggs in one basket, winks also serve as a low-risk way to get noticed by someone you’re interested in while still scouting out the dating scene.
Reducing Rejection Anxiety
When dating, you’re going to count rejection at some point, it’s all a part of the process of finding your special one. Rejection hurts regardless, but it’s best served when it’s as minor as not receiving a wink back. This is why winks is the perfect resource for introverts or singles who are more on the shy side about messaging.
Winks help minimize the emotional vulnerability associated with online dating, allowing you to save your emotional energy for people who will reciprocate.
A wink can be a less daunting way to express interest compared to having to put yourself fully out there. Winks are a social signal to get a conversation started, opposed to taking a risk to message someone and potentially being left on read.
Building Attraction Gradually
Winks don’t have to be a one-time thing. On some dating apps, you can send as many winks as you like or that are offered. Repeated winks can signal sustained interest without overwhelming the other person with back-to-back messages. When someone receives more than one wink, it can be impressive and show off how determined and persistent you are respectfully.
A lot of people use winks to potentially start a serious relationship, but winks can be used for casual connections as well. A wink starts off by saying “Hi, I’m interested,” and then it’s your job to communicate your intentions and what you’re looking for.
Using a wink is less forward and leaves room for other relationships to form. You can send a wink to someone with the intention for it to turn into a romance, but things can change, and it can actually lead to a much-needed friendship. Making it less awkward for relationships to recover from expressing initial interest.
Best Practices
Winks are like two-dollar bills — they’re special and should be used thoughtfully. Abusing a wink will only defeat its whole purpose. Instead, consider these practices so that you’re able to send a wink and get the results you’re aiming for.
Use Sparingly
Don’t rely solely on winks to communicate — follow up with messages if there’s mutual interest and see where things go from there. You can overuse the wink feature and start seeing folks as a number, not a romantic interest. It’s not ideal to send out too many winks and lose track of who you want to woo — so avoid sending winks to everyone you come across.
Winks should be targeted to individuals you’re genuinely interested in. So check out users’ profiles and see what may interest you besides a nice profile picture.
Be Mindful of Timing
Timing is everything when sending a wink. You should think it over before you send one. Consider your intentions when deciding on what time to send a wink. If it’s 1 AM, and you’re looking for a committed relationship, sending a wink could instead imply that you’re looking for some fun and nothing serious.
Sending a wink at the right time can increase your chances of a response. Keep in mind that it’s more unlikely for people to respond as quickly at ungodly hours of the night or during work hours.
Personalize the Wink
If the platform allows it, consider adding a personal message or comment alongside the wink for added context. For example, some dating apps allow members to comment on each other’s photos. Sending a wink and then commenting on one of their photos will convey you’re very interested.
People receive winks all the time on dating apps, so by personalizing it, you stand out from the rest. It can make the difference between getting a response or not.
Pay Attention to Responses
Winks are voluntary, which makes them so awesome! Don’t feel the need to wink back or get discouraged if your wink isn’t reciprocated. Always respect the other person’s boundaries and preferences.
How someone responds to your wink can also be very telling of their interest. If they respond with a wink back right away, that could reveal that they love your profile picture. If they respond with a wink and a message, that reveals how bold they are in expressing their interest, too.
Online Dating Is Constantly Evolving Its Features
Winks are just one example of how progressive, engaging, and supportive online dating is becoming. Singles interactions online aren’t limited to just chatting and exchanging likes. Winks offers a unique, fun, and low-pressure way to express interest in someone on online dating platforms.
It doesn’t require too much effort, nor does it tie you down to any one person. It’s a friendly and flirty exchange that gets users to get past the first introduction and hopefully into a fulfilling relationship.
