The Scoop: If you’re unenthused about dating, you may be suffering from dating fatigue. Thankfully, Alexandra Freeman and her fellow matchmakers at Introductions, Inc. never tire of finding true love for elite, high quality singles. By embracing old and new traditions, Alexandra helps her clients put their best foot forward.
Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. So why has it gotten so hard? Either dating itself has gotten more complicated, or my feelings about it have. I’m not alone in this, am I?
I was relieved when matchmaker Alexandra Freeman told us how she’s also picked up on a growing exhaustion among modern daters. Apparently, dating fatigue is sweeping the nation. If I want to rejuvenate my enthusiasm for dating, I may want to seek out the help of a matchmaker from Introductions, Inc.
Alexandra has spent 12 years rising through the ranks of the matchmaking world, and as the founder of elite matchmaking service Introductions, Inc., she’s witnessed certain trends come and go.
“Alexandra prides herself on her adaptability and capacity for growth,” according to her website. This is evident in her creativity and ability to look outside the box to find authentic matches.
“While online dating sites and dating apps encourage you to get busy finding the right one, I encourage you to focus on being the right one,” Alexandra’s website claims. To “be the right one,” I just may have to reevaluate my dating habits, priorities, and even my online presence.
In-Person Dating Is Regaining Popularity
Online dating and its barrage of profiles, pics, and prompts has an understandable appeal. There are so many options, so many opportunities for true love! But if you’re tired of swiping, you’re clearly not the only one. Alexandra connected this shift to good old-fashioned overindulgence.
“There seems to be an oversaturation of online dating,” she told us. Clicking and swiping through dating profiles isn’t as efficient or exciting as it once was. So many of us have ridden the Tinder-coaster enough times to know that you often get off feeling dizzy. Perhaps this is why Alexandra noticed a certain shift. “I have started to see a return to traditional types of dating,” she told us.
“People prefer to meet in person at local events, singles events, or through matchmakers,” she explained, which definitely comes as a surprise after years of online dating dominance. You forget how thrilling it is to meet new people IRL after you’ve done it through a screen for so long.
It’s no wonder more people have been seeking out matchmakers these days.
When you have a dating app doing some of the heavy lifting for you, suddenly relying on your intuition and skills can be downright daunting. That’s why matchmaking is no longer just an older person’s game, Alexandra told us. “I’m seeing a lot more young people interested in matchmaking and other offline types of dating, as opposed to a few years back when it was more popular in an older demographic.”
She attributes this shift to a change in priorities. Whether it’s due to the isolation we all experienced during the pandemic, general dating app fatigue, or a little of both, some young people seem to prefer making genuine romantic connections these days.
“I’m seeing less interest in casual dating with young people lately,” Alexandra emphasized. “I have clients in their mid-20s who are coming to me because they are serious about love and marriage and are rejecting casual dating and hookup culture.”
Fewer casual daters means more clients for Introductions, Inc. But business aside, Alexandra is simply encouraged by this shift into simpler, more traditional values. “Everyone is seeking stable, long-lasting love,” she said.
With everyone on the same page, it’ll be much easier for Alexandra and her colleagues to work their matchmaking magic.
‘Dating Fatigue’ Leads To Damaging Snap Judgments
This return to traditional dating practices and values may be encouraging for some, but Alexandra also pointed to an alarming trend. “I’m fighting against a lot of dating fatigue,” she told us. People aren’t only tired of dating apps, but of the whole dating thing in general.
Sure, some people are more than happy to say goodbye to swiping and hello to in-person dates, but others are finding it difficult to get back into the dating pool at all. After all, if an expertly built algorithm can’t find a suitable match for you, how can a matchmaker?
“By the time a person hires me, they are often not very optimistic about dating as a whole, and we end up having to greatly reduce their online presence and focus on holistic, relationship-minded dating,” she explained.
She reminds her clients of the differences between online dating and matchmaking, and encourages them to take dating at a gradual but steady pace.
In my experience, online dating has made me quicker to judge people. If I don’t like their pictures or their responses to prompts, I automatically write them off. But when you make snap judgements about minor details, you may lose out on a good match.
Online dating has helped me narrow my focus, but it’s also made it more difficult for me to perceive some “flaws” as simple quirks and not as huge dealbreakers. Alexandra told us she fights against this “gamification of dating” every day. “When we use apps like Tinder, we get used to judging potential partners in a split second,” she said.
Think about it: How many important, informed decisions can you possibly make in a split second? Not many.
“A common recommendation I have for new clients is to slow down and properly evaluate each match rather than making snap judgments,” she said. “Butterflies and chemistry are great, but the true gauge of success is aligned values and honesty about what you are both looking for.”
After all, you can’t know for sure what someone believes until you take the time to ask them. If the person is respectful and safe, why not get to know them better? If you don’t, you may miss out on an amazing relationship.
A big challenge, Alexandra told us, is people’s unwillingness to put their phones down and consider how social media has changed the way they date. As a matchmaker, Alexandra can be a knowledgeable guide out of the insular world of dating apps.
“I often have to recommend my clients sit and introspect about their social media usage and how it affects their dating goals,” she explained. You may not realize how much social media has contributed to dating fatigue until a neutral third party points it out.
Matchmakers Should Balance Old and New Techniques
Adapting to current trends and technologies is the only way to stay relevant, but that doesn’t mean you should forget tried-and-true traditions. This mirrors Alexandra’s advice to today’s matchmakers who, like her, want to help elite clients find their soulmates.
“Before, matchmakers often operated in fancy, expensive offices and used more hard sales tactics,” she said of old-school matchmaking. “I’m a big proponent of a more virtual, nimble matchmaking service that allows matchmakers to work with clients in a variety of areas.”
This not only diversifies a matchmaker’s client base, but also the pool of potential matches. “I think this kind of matchmaking will thrive in the future,” she said.
Diversity in all its forms is key to surviving in the modern age. Matchmakers who stick solely to old-school traditions may lock themselves into a client base that will only get older.
Alexandra told us how “On the surface, we see a lot more variety in types of relationships and expressions of love” when compared to a decade ago. She’s even picked up on an encouraging pattern among today’s love-seekers. “I see a lot more preferences for supportive, empathetic, and caring partners,” she said.
Gone are the days when a “good match” was solely reflected by age, location, and breeding. “As we become more aware of mental health struggles on a global scale, people are seeking support and care in their relationships over other values,” she explained.
In this way, today’s matchmakers must find true love and true friendship for their clients. You may think matchmakers who are focused on the future will embrace new technology to make better matches, such as AI, but Alexandra urged caution.
AI can’t understand human emotion, chemistry, or intuition the way a matchmaker can. In the end, old-school matchmaking methods still have their value, Alexandra told us. “I believe a return to old-school matchmaking and personalized connection will thrive rather than new tech.”
By embracing old and new traditions, Alexandra and her colleagues at Introductions, Inc. represent the diverse, ever-evolving future of matchmaking.
