The Scoop: Based in San Francisco, Annie Gleason is a seasoned dating coach with over a decade of experience advising singles on how to find a partner and get a love life. Her niche coaching practice, which is called Get a Love Life, caters to midlife singles seeking a real relationship in an increasingly confusing and fast-paced dating scene. Since 2007, Annie has brought clarity to many pain points for singles, including why someone has ghosted them and what to do about it. Her sound advice has set many singles on the path to love and helped them prioritize their needs and properly address common issues in the modern dating scene.
When a woman immigrated to the US to get her college degree, she had no idea how difficult dating in a foreign land would be for her. She had a noticeable accent and didn’t understand dating etiquette that most Americans took for granted. She wound up in a relationship that was going nowhere, yet it was hard for her to let go and move forward.
The woman knew she needed dating and relationship advice, so she hired Annie Gleason as her dating coach. Annie specializes in working with singles over the age of 40. She taught the middle-aged woman, who had never been married, how to date with confidence and attract relationship-ready men.
After working with Annie, the woman got her footing, started online dating, and met a widower who measured up to her expectations. They began dating and got into a committed relationship. The woman recently got in touch with Annie to announce her engagement.
Annie said that hearing about her client’s upcoming wedding made her beam with pride for days. Such success stories remind her of why she got into the dating industry in the first place. Her mission is to have a lasting impact on singles and give them the advice they need to break their negative patterns and attain the relationship of their dreams.
Annie’s message resonates with a diverse clientele — she told us that a third of her clients are from other countries — and she often adapts her advice to suit her client’s individual needs. Whether she’s helping a single woman gain self-confidence or advising a foreign-born man how to adapt to American dating culture, Annie breaks down the essential dynamics of attraction, romance, and love, and then offers concrete solutions to get a love life.
“I’m good at cultural translation because I’m from England,” she said. “I can translate American dating in the 20th century to someone from another country.”
You can get Annie’s advice every week by subscribing to her Free Dating Tips Newsletter, which dispenses instructive videos and articles on a regular basis.
Don’t Let Your Anxiety Control Your Actions
We all feel insecure in a relationship every now and then. That’s natural. But acting on those fears and anxieties isn’t the best way to build trust, intimacy, and respect with someone you like. Annie said singles can overreact to an ignored text, for instance, and create a story in their minds that has no grounding in reality.
“You worry more about what might be going on rather than what’s actually going on,” she said. “And then you act prematurely and create more problems.”
Annie said she has often seen her clients shoot themselves in the foot by sending a why-haven’t-you-contacted-me text or call that makes them appear overly clingy or insecure.
A love interest can fail to respond for a number of reasons, and only one of them is because they’re ghosting. That person may be unsure about his or her feelings and want to take some time to think it over. In that situation, one accusatory text could push that waffling person over the edge.
Or, it’s possible that the reason someone isn’t responsive is simply because he or she is busy with work or family, and pestering him or her during a hectic time isn’t going to endear you to that person.
Annie recommends taking a breath, stepping back, and practicing patience whenever you feel worried that a love interest is neglecting you. She said that waiting to see what happens is often the wiser dating strategy because it keeps you from acting out of fear, hurt, or desperation.
“A lot of the times, waiting two or three days will give you the answers you need,” she said. “You have to give them time to sort it out for themselves.”
Create Good, Respectful Boundaries With a Partner
The #MeToo movement has had a tremendous impact on the workplace, particularly in Hollywood, by empowering women to speak out and combat sexual harassment. Now it’s having a ripple effect on the dating scene as well.
Dating in a Post-#MeToo environment can be confusing for men and women who are no longer sure what the rules and roles are. Men may worry about appearing too aggressive, while women feel unsure how to take the lead in a relationship. They may not know how to bridge the divide and voice their needs in healthy and appropriate ways.
“One of Annie’s strengths is she tells you what’s going on on the other side of a date.” — Paul B. in a Yelp review
In response to these growing concerns, Annie has begun dedicating herself to addressing how to date and adapt to changing gender dynamics.
Annie said she has focused on teaching women how to encourage men and teaching men how to behave responsibly so neither feels threatened, disrespected, or unsafe.
“Creating good boundaries around sex is one of the most important things,” she said. “You have to figure out what works for you.”
Give Yourself Time to Mourn & Detox After a Breakup
When you fall for someone, chemicals race through you and make you feel on top of the world. You can get a natural high from the endorphins, adrenaline, norepinephrine, and other chemicals flooding your brain. You can’t get enough. That significant other becomes like a drug dealer who helps you experience euphoric feelings and sensations.
It’s easy to become addicted to that person and those feelings. And that can make breaking up an extremely painful experience. According to Annie, some singles can experience symptoms similar to withdrawal when going through a breakup.
“The first 21 days are always the worst,” she said. “A lot of people want to stay in touch with that person, so they send a text, and now they’re back to being addicted. It’s only extending their pain.”
Annie advises her clients to cease contact with an ex after a breakup. No lingering messages. No social media stalking. Cold turkey. That distance can give you a chance to cope and move forward while giving your partner a chance to realize he or she misses you. Maybe giving each other some space will make you both realize you want to get back together, or maybe you’ll come to see that you’re better off apart. Either way, taking care of yourself and weaning yourself off your dependency to your ex can only be a good thing.
To help clients get closure, Annie encourages her clients to get out five sheets of paper and write down five things — the first is what they loved about their ex, then what they admired, then what they liked, then what they could do without, and, finally, what didn’t work in the relationship. These five lists can help singles gain clarity on what they want and need from a relationship. It can be healing for them to reflect on the past and analyze what went wrong.
Annie’s guidance can help singles overcome unhealthy addictions to an ex, mourn a dead relationship, and move forward without sadness or regret. “Love has a kind of pull on people,” the dating coach said, “because it’s something we really need, and it’s so hard to lose it.”
Annie Gleason Encourages Daters to Think Things Through
The search for love is universal. People of all ages and from all cultures want to find that connection and happiness in their lives, but they may struggle with how to get there. Fortunately, dating coach Annie Gleason can provide valuable guidelines to help singles from all walks of life navigate common dating and relationship obstacles. She equips her clients to rid themselves of false beliefs and tackle dating with a positive mindset. This is increasingly important as dating becomes more complicated and singles become disconnected from one another.
“We’re living in a crazy and unpredictable world right now,” she said. “Dating is getting more broken, and fewer people are willing to be vulnerable — and that means fewer people are finding love.”
Annie’s steadfast support energizes singles navigating this potentially frustrating and demoralizing dating environment. In her private coaching practice, she offers rational and realistic dating advice to prepare singles for healthy and fruitful relationships.
“I enjoy helping people find love,” she said, “because that’s the thing that’ll save the world.”