Feeld’s Self-Discovery Tool Confronts Stigma and Helps Users Answer, “Am I Normal?” 

Feeld recently introduced Reflections, a 30-minute guided self-discovery experience for members and non-members alike.

It’s free, it’s anonymous, and it’s filled with reliable insight from the University of Michigan’s Dr. Apryl Williams. Reflections, launched on March 9, responds to an urgent need that modern daters may not even know they have, Williams said. 

“What society calls mainstream often excludes desires and practices that are far more common than we realize,” Williams explained. She described a world where stigma forces kink and alternative relationship dynamics into the shadows, leaving an entire demographic of online daters without a safe, engaging dating platform. 

Self-discovery tools like Reflections could turn stigma-perpetuating platforms into trusted spaces. And Feeld positions itself not only as a leader in the open-minded dating market, but as a source of illuminating research: Its State of Reflections Vol. 1: “Am I Normal?” data report highlights the importance of self-discovery tools on dating platforms. 

(Spoiler alert: The answer to “Am I normal?” is usually a loud “Yes”).  

Let’s face it: The “swipe” has lost its allure, and mainstream dating platforms are languishing. Feeld’s report describes a dating world in transition, with non-traditional desires on the rise. Platforms that ignore these desires and encourage old-school stigma are more likely to become obsolete. 

More People Are Into Kink Than You Might Think

Compiled using proprietary Feeld data and a survey of approximately 6,000 people, Feeld’s “Am I Normal?” data report sheds light on the long-concealed prevalence of kinky relationship dynamics — and the stigma we wade through as a result. 

The stats are eye-opening, to say the least: Nearly half of non-Feeld respondents (42%) said they engage in kink, with 44% favoring role play. 

The people you pass on the street, your barista, your mailperson; any of them could share your appreciation of kink culture, but you would never know or be able to connect with them over it because of the strong stigma. Feeld wants to change this. 

But the outside world still has a ways to go to demolish stigmas, as 28-29% of non-Feeld users said alternative relationship structures are “extremely abnormal” as compared to the 71% of Feeld users who said they’re a way of life. 

Nearly half of non-Feeld respondents (42%) said they engage in kink, with 44% favoring role play.

“The gap suggests cultural messaging, not actual practice, shapes what is considered acceptable,” Feeld explained. In other words, the way platforms talk about “taboo” subjects goes a long way to strengthening or destroying stigmas. 

For example, we know for sure that online daters want platforms to make connections safer and more satisfying. But for some reason, only 25% of external users say talking about safe sex is “normal” on apps. Meanwhile, Feeld users are far more accepting of the conversation (75%). 

“Avoiding conversations about desire, consent, and boundaries increases risk and reinforces stigma,” Dr. Williams told Feeld. With the help of the “Am I Normal?” report, we know that risk and stigma are two things many modern daters would rather leave in the past. 

Self-Discovery Tools are Becoming Dating App Must-Haves  

Reflections is Feeld’s way of telling users to leave shame at the door. 

It’s not “a quick personality quiz,” and it doesn’t intend to pigeonhole or box users into certain identities — on the contrary. “Desires aren’t fixed,” Feeld told DatingNews. “They breathe, unfold, and transform as you do.” 

This is why the platform encourages users to use Reflections as a helpful reference tool, not as a strict rule book. “Unpack what you want, and how you want to be met,” Feeld advises. 

The self-discovery tool signals a shift in dating tech: Platforms must offer more than matchmaking by helping users clarify their identity and their relationship goals. 

“Desires aren’t fixed,” Feeld told DatingNews. “They breathe, unfold, and transform as you do.” 

In some cases, self-discovery tools like Reflections add value by deepening the platform’s understanding of — and connection with — its users. But there are times when platforms simply intend to help users better understand themselves. 

Instead of associating a dating app with swiping or matching, the user may see the app as a trusted springboard for self-discovery — as a safe space where they can safely explore their desires, kinks, and relationship goals. 

Reflections is an important sign to other apps that usefulness now extends beyond matching, and often depends on the platform being able to foster a comfortable, safe environment. 

Stigma Sneakily Destroys Dating Platforms 

If a platform wants to be seen as a modern, open-minded, and trusted space, it can start by refining the language it uses to describe alternative relationship dynamics. No more “ENM isn’t real” this or “kink shaming” that. When platforms break free of “othering” language, they help squash stubborn stigmas and expand their demographics. 

Confronting stigma is not always an easy process, which is why Feeld encourages using self-discovery tools that approach taboo topics with tact and patience. “Occasionally, members may feel challenged or surprised by their results, which is a normal part of the reflection process,” Feeld told DatingNews. 

This is why “All responses are completely private and will not be shared unless the member chooses to do so themselves.”

The user’s short-term discomfort is nothing compared to the damage done by perpetuated stigma. Stigma not only forces people to explore unconventional relationships in secret, but also in ignorance. It creates shame, and shame makes it impossible for daters to gain the self-knowledge they crave. 

“[Reflections] embodies what we’ve always stood for — curiosity, self-discovery, and openness.”

It’s a tricky paradox, one that makes close-minded dating platforms inhospitable to real growth. In this way, stigma sneakily weakens dating platforms over time.

While other platforms struggle to adapt to modern dating dynamics, Feeld remains on the cusp. “[Reflections] embodies what we’ve always stood for — curiosity, self-discovery, and openness — while reflecting our core belief that meaningful connection starts with self-understanding,” said CEO Ana Kirova. 

The “Am I Normal?” report and Reflections tool position Feeld as the go-to dating platform for modern and open-minded daters. And it makes us wonder: What if the stigmatized relationship dynamics of today end up defining mainstream dating habits in the future? 

If this comes to pass, Feeld will unquestionably become the rarest kind of platform: It will have mainstream appeal while supporting the types of alternative lifestyles that once lived in the shadows.