The Scoop: Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach in Washington, D.C., who offers personalized service to a select group of singles. She uses her experience and intuition to develop matches that will stand the test of time. Michelle helps men and women identify what they’re looking for in partners and learn how to succeed on dates. Michelle also aims to connect with singles around the world through her book and group coaching course.
Matchmaker and Dating Coach Michelle Jacoby sees her profession as somewhat of a spiritual calling.
“My mentor, Marianne Williamson, once told me, ‘You’re not the water, you’re the faucet.’ “What she meant was that this process of helping singles find love is not about me. It’s about being an instrument to serve others. I do believe there’s a higher power working through me, helping me pick the right matches for my clients. I often get so lucky, I can’t take all the credit. I’m definitely getting help from upstairs!”
As part of her calling, Michelle helps both women and men find love. She works with clients of all ages, some of whom have had trouble finding healthy romantic relationships in the past.
Michelle gets great satisfaction from her work because she has seen so many of her introductions turn into lasting relationships. To match her clients, Michelle searches her database of available singles and connects people who will not only be compatible but also drawn to each other.
Michelle shared the story of a unique male client who hired her to help him find love. When Michelle first met this gentleman, she instantly thought of a woman he would click with.
“When I described my client to her in our interview, she started giggling uncontrollably and said that he seemed perfect. He froze his contract with me, and they’ve been together ever since. When things work that easily, I have to think I’m getting help from somewhere!”, she said.
Michelle works with a small number of singles at one time, which means she can get to know her clients more intimately.
“We’re a small company, and I’ve resisted the urge to scale because I believe matchmaking is a very personal endeavor. We take good care of our clients because we work with so few at a time,” she told us.
In addition to matchmaking, Michelle offers dating coaching and an online dating profile management service for clients.
Helping Commitment-Minded Singles Find the Right Partners
Michelle started her business after looking into hiring a matchmaker for herself back in 2008.
“I spoke with friends who had worked with DC area matchmakers and dating services back in 2008, and everyone I spoke with had had a negative experience. There was no one working as a matchmaker in DC at that time that I trusted with my money or my heart,” she said. So she continued dating on her own.
Then she had an idea. Since Michelle had matched her best friend with her fiancé, Michelle started researching matchmaking as a profession. In 2009, Michelle decided to open her matchmaking company, DC Matchmaking. She created a website that quickly ranked on page one Google for the search “matchmakers in DC”. Before she knew it, clients were signing up.
“We took off from there, and the company has been successful ever since,” Michelle told us.
If clients want to work with Michelle, the first step is an interview. During the interview, Michelle gets to know potential clients to ensure they are ready to find love and have reasonable and realistic expectations. If Michelle feels someone isn’t the right fit for her company, she may refer them to another firm that is a better fit.
After the interview, when someone becomes a client, a professional photographer takes photos of the client that are then entered into her database. Next, Michelle searches for suitable matches based on agreed-upon criteria. Michelle makes matches based on physical attraction, shared values, shared life goals, and her own intuition.
Once a potential match has been found, Michelle interviews the match face-to-face. If she feels the two are a fit, she introduces them. Michelle’s team used to choose a restaurant and making a dinner reservation, but now, during the pandemic, matches are sent email introductions, which Michelle says is working beautifully. Email introductions allow the pair to get to know each other on their own terms in a way that feels safe.
“We’re going to stick with email introductions because they give my team more time to focus on finding great matches, and people really like them. Not everyone is comfortable with a restaurant for a first date,” she said.
After each first date, Michelle sends a survey and connects with both people on the phone to get feedback. If the pair were not a match, she wants to understand why in order to make a better match the next time. She also shares constructive feedback with her clients to make sure they are successful when dating.
A Passion for Providing Advice
Michelle is committed to her clients. She told us she’d recently been coaching a client, not only to be a more skillful dater but also to be a happier and more positive person. She doesn’t typically work weekends or evenings, but if a client needs her, she will text outside of business hours.
As a coach, Michelle teaches her clients to become more effective and strategic daters. She also helps her clients understand how to find healthy lasting relationships instead of wasting time in the wrong relationships. Her coaching helps clients become more self-aware and also more skillful in relationships.
“I’m in love with coaching because when you learn the right mindset and have smart dating strategies, the meaningful shifts you make not only impact your love life, they can impact your whole life in a positive way,” said Michelle.
Michelle bases her coaching practice on the lessons she learned many years ago in her own pursuit for love. After an unsuccessful marriage and several unhealthy relationships, she developed a five-step dating process that helped her meet her current husband over a decade ago. She now teaches her five-step dating plan to her clients who have tremendous success.
“I’m not afraid to tell my personal story to help my clients be successful,” she said.
Michelle’s philosophy stems from the idea of mindset mastery. She believes that having the right mindset and approach to dating is the foundation for success.
“The right mindset is the foundation of everything,” she said.
Michelle is so committed to helping singles meet their partners and loves matchmaking so much that she co-founded an industry organization in 2012 called the Matchmakers Alliance that has over 350 matchmakers from all around the world. These matchmakers share trends and ideas at a five-day conference every year, have monthly calls, and connect regularly in an online forum. Together, they set standards and business practices for the love industry.
“We wanted to create a place where people in the love business feel a sense of community, can collaborate, and refer clients. We also wanted to ensure ethical standards in the matchmaking industry were high,” she told us.
Michelle has moved away from the one-on-one coaching model and now offers an eight-week group coaching program for women based on her book, “Never Waste Time on the Wrong Man Again.”
Clients who take part in the coaching program will work with Michelle in a virtual group setting to learn and implement the lessons and strategies she teaches in her best-selling book.
Michelle Jacoby: Broadening Her Reach Beyond D.C.
For over twelve years, Michelle has been a sought-after matchmaker in Washington, D.C. She now plans to connect with more singles outside the DC area.
“I want to make a greater impact, so I created this virtual coaching program to serve single women all over the world, not just in DC.”
Michelle has encouraged her clients to be proactive about finding love during the COVID-19 pandemic instead of putting off looking for love. Over the last year, Michelle and her team have seen many relationships develop because in a fast-paced city like Washington, DC, singles had the time to focus on getting to know one another.
Still, she said she knows that some singles aren’t ready to date just yet, a request that she and her team can accommodate.
“I have one client who has been on hold for over a year because he’s not comfortable dating until he’s fully vaccinated. Everybody has a different comfort level during the pandemic. I try to make sure everyone is comfortable and safe,” she said.
Another change as a result of the pandemic that Michelle thinks will stick around is video first dates. They take less effort, and two people can meet each other more conveniently and then decide if they want to connect in person. Currently, more than 80% of Michelle’s clients meet in person for first dates.
Michelle shared that during this difficult past year, singles have had time to contemplate what matters to them most. Now that dating is returning to normal, Michelle is excited to see so many singles committed to finding love.
“To me, love is everything. Being able to bring love into people’s lives, it’s personally, professionally, and spiritually satisfying,” she told us.