The Scoop: Arlene Washburn is the Matchmaker Mentor™ for a reason. She not only knows the ins and outs of the craft, but is passionate about upholding ethics in the matchmaking industry. Only then, she told us, will matchmaking be taken seriously as a career path.
You wouldn’t let a random stranger operate on your heart. So why would you give a stranger full access to your love life? In both scenarios, a complete stranger is holding your heart in their hands — a risky move, if I do say so myself.
At Love Pro Mastermind Academy, Arlene Washburn shares her wisdom as a Master Executive Certified Matchmaker, a science-based dating coach, and as a teacher to other matchmakers. She also founded the Worldwide Referral Network, which she called “a trusted clearinghouse for ethical matchmakers.”
Most importantly, Arlene teaches the ethics of matchmaking. As the Matchmaker Mentor™, Arlene has made it her mission to become the ethical anchor of the matchmaking industry — and just in time, too.
“This industry is about to explode,” Arlene told us. On the brink of its mainstream debut, the matchmaking industry needs a moral center to ensure that all matchmakers are providing the very best for their clients.
With so many single people and so few matchmakers, you have to be careful which one you choose. You’re trusting them not only with your heart, but with your wallet — and your safety.
The Woman Who Teaches Matchmakers Their Craft
Over the years, Arlene has picked up on a troubling pattern.
“There’s a lot that’s lacking in the (matchmaking) training,” she admitted. “Which then causes a lot of things that are not within a code of ethics.” It’s essential for matchmakers to follow a strict code of ethics. After all, if they break the ethical code, they’ll lose the backbone of the matchmaking industry: Your trust.
With her extensive matchmaking experience and education, she called herself “the go-to person” people can turn to if they’re having problems with their matchmaker, their clients, or in the industry as a whole.
As a neutral third party, Arlene upholds matchmaking ethics while addressing the concerns of both the matchmaker and the client. “My core value is integrity,” she told us. As the matchmaking industry continues to grow, someone has to make sure that matchmakers meet high ethical standards.
“I’m giving (students) real concrete lessons that I had to learn the hard way,” she told us. “(My matchmaking certification) just didn’t teach me what I needed to know to avoid getting into trouble, and to avoid acting unethically.” The matchmaking world was unexplored for so long that pioneers, like Arlene, had to navigate their own ways through.
If you’re seeking out a matchmaker, chances are your heart has been broken before. You want someone who can actually help you, not someone who doubts their own abilities. Arlene faced those early fears so today’s matchmakers don’t have to. Nowadays, the matchmaking world looks to those pioneers for guidance. “We’re doing a lot of advocacy,” Arlene said.
Clients look to Arlene and the Worldwide Referral Network (WWRN) to find trusted matchmakers. Many seek out those featured on the ‘Ethical Matchmaker’s List,’ a vetted directory of professionals who have pledged to uphold high ethical standards. The WWRN serves as a resource for individuals looking for matchmakers who prioritize integrity and transparency in their services. Choosing a matchmaker isn’t unlike choosing a doctor: You want someone you can trust with your feelings and with your money. That’s why Arlene and her team are working on a master list of matchmakers.
“Our goal is to create this ethical matchmaker list that would be a go-to,” she said. This list wouldn’t only be a go-to for clients, but for matchmaking services, financial institutions, and other companies that consider partnering with matchmakers. If you prove your high ethical standards as a matchmaker, you’ll have more access to opportunities.
The Matchmaking Industry Is An Underdog
As anyone in the matchmaking industry could tell you, opportunities don’t always come easy, especially when the rest of the business world doesn’t take you seriously.
“There are companies that won’t work with us,” Arlene said. “There are banks that won’t work with us.” Some matchmakers have taken to bending the rules to keep business afloat.”
Throughout her career, she has encountered instances where matchmakers may not adhere to the highest ethical standards. For example, some may claim certifications they don’t hold or exaggerate their success rates. She notes, “It’s important for matchmakers to be transparent because misleading clients about success can lead to legal consequences.” Arlene emphasizes that maintaining honesty in the industry protects matchmakers and their clients, fostering trust and long-term success.
With this in mind, Arlene has made it her goal to “clean up the industry.” By only presenting people with high-quality matchmakers, Arlene hopes the industry will slowly but surely fill with true professionals. Only then will matchmaking be taken seriously, she told us.
“People have to realize that this is a very important career,” she told us. “I want it to get to a point where everybody has a matchmaker or knows a matchmaker.”
To make this dream a reality, Arlene knows that matchmakers will have to join forces with each other. This may sound easy enough, but Arlene gave us a glimpse into the competitive world of matchmakers.
“I advocated for many, many years about collaboration. There was a time where matchmakers had blinders on. You couldn’t even look at another matchmaker,” Arlene told us. “You couldn’t talk to another matchmaker.” This competitiveness is understandable given the niche industry, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best option in the long run.
She argued that when matchmakers work solo, they are only hurting their clients in the grand scheme of things. The more you get to know your fellow matchmakers, the more you collaborate with them, the stronger everyone will be as a result. “Now they’re all coming into the fold and going to the conferences,” she said.
One of the best ways to maintain high ethical standards is to be an educated matchmaker, Arlene told us. “I’m advocating for continuing education, almost like it’s a guideline. I mean, I’m not a lawmaker, but I would love for it to be (something you have to do) to learn your craft.” You wouldn’t trust a doctor who isn’t required to pursue ongoing education, so why trust a matchmaker who isn’t certified or committed to continuously advancing their expertise in dating, relationships, and the skills essential for their role? Continuing education ensures that a matchmaker remains knowledgeable and effective in helping clients find meaningful connections.
You Have To Trust Your Matchmaker
Some people may laugh at the idea of a matchmaker, but Arlene knows firsthand how necessary they can be.
She shared, “I don’t care how much money you have—if you’re unhappy and genuinely seeking a life partner, choosing a matchmaker may be one of the most important decisions you’ll make. Wouldn’t you want a true professional guiding you in that journey?”
When you hire a matchmaker, you trust them as much with money as with your heart. Modern matchmakers usually cost a pretty penny, and you don’t want to waste your hard-earned cash on an uncertified non-professional.
The most skilled matchmakers use their expertise to assess compatibility as accurately as possible. And even former matchmakers like Arlene keep their eyes on what’s trending in the dating world.
The loneliness epidemic is well-known, but Arlene pointed out newer challenges that have surfaced in recent years, especially among heterosexual men. “A major issue we’re noticing,” she explained, “is that many men feel uncertain about approaching women or connecting in meaningful ways. This struggle has become a significant barrier to forming lasting relationships.”
In traditional dating settings, if a man doesn’t take the initiative to approach a woman and ask her out, she might miss opportunities for meaningful connections. The shift from traditional to modern dating has created considerable confusion, leading to a domino effect that Arlene is determined to address—empowering matchmakers to focus on thoughtful introductions. “Our industry is poised to help because we have really serious people going into (matchmaking). And if they really learn their craft, they’ll be able to advocate,” she said.
A good matchmaker is a worthwhile investment. By putting in the time and energy to find the right matchmaker, you gain a partner who takes on the initial “getting to know you” phase, saving you the time and effort of uncovering key compatibility factors yourself. This significantly improves your chances of meeting someone genuinely compatible—unlike on dating apps, where a large percentage of people may not be entirely truthful.
Plus, the apps may only protect you from creeps and weirdos to a certain extent.
You invest in a matchmaker because they usually handle the background checks and vetting process for you. “If you’re working with a really good matchmaker, they should be checking documentation,” Arlene explained. “They can (make sure that matches) are who they say they are.” When she finds a quality matchmaker of high standing, she adds them to her list of ethical matchmakers.
Arlene’s commitment to ethical matchmaking standards has shaped her expertise and approach. Her upcoming book, The Organized Matchmaker, is designed to help matchmakers structure their business practices for greater success. “I’m truly passionate about this field, and I’m grateful that people recognize the value of what I bring,” she shared. Through her training at Love Pro Mastermind Academy, aspiring matchmakers can now gain essential skills in the art—and ethics—of professional matchmaking.
