Key Takeaways

Everyone has bad first date stories, right? Well, I sure do. And this one takes the cake. 

I remember it like it was yesterday. A few years ago, I was on a first date with a woman I’d matched with on Bumble, sipping cocktails while she told me about herself. As one does, I also tried to tell her about myself before she quickly interrupted and said, “Oh, you don’t need to tell me that, I already know. I Googled your phone number before this.” After that, I sort of just wanted to go home.

It’s safe to say, it’s not the type of dating interaction you forget. And it turns out, this kind of behavior is more common than you might think. Now, more than ever, daters are reverse-image searching dating profiles and looking up phone numbers. 

A recent survey from ClarityCheck found that 41% of folks said they’ve searched for a phone number or email tied to a partner or potential match. What’s more, over half of respondents 25-40 report verifying someone’s identity at least once. Digital verification is no longer just a technical safety step; it’s becoming part of how people navigate trust in relationships.

And, even though I’ve experienced it firsthand, I can’t blame folks for doing it. Now, the question isn’t so much, Why would they Google stalk? and more of, why wouldn’t they? As AI takes over, chatfishing is becoming more and more popular, and dating feels harder. It seems only natural to want to have some control of your dating life.

The survey adds that most respondents say they feel “more in control” after conducting a digital search on a potential date, even when the results confirm what they feared (that they’re being catfished, chatfished, or just plain led on.)

Digital detective work is now a normal pre-date ritual. So it got me thinking: As AI fakes get smarter and “verification anxiety” grows, should dating apps make verification mandatory?

Trust Erosion in Modern Dating 

“Online scams and fraud are a growing threat,” Kaarel Kotkas, the CEO and Founder of Veriff, a company that handles identity verification, including for dating platforms like Bumble, says, “Users increasingly expect online providers to deliver robust security and protect them and their data.”

So it only makes sense that daters don’t fully trust an app’s safety measures anymore. Daters are relying on Google, reverse image search, and intuition, mostly. Fair play.

Plus, according to ClarityCheck, 96% of consumers consider security measures like identity verification necessary when signing up for a new platform. Dating is super intimate, and with that comes the need for safety and trust.

But in 2025, trust is no longer assumed by users; it has to be earned. As an app user myself, apps that can’t guarantee safety lose their credibility — and fast.

The Case For Mandatory Verification 

Is there a case against mandatory verification? Sure. But in my opinion, it would keep unethical dating problems at bay. Just think: Verification could actively prevent scams, bots, catfishing, and, of course, fake AI-generated profiles.

Apps, like Bumble, are already implementing some form of verification.

“It only takes a matter of seconds to get identity verified,” Kotkas explains, “These apps play a key role in establishing connections and relationships, so it’s vital that they set standards for identity verification.”

The Case Against Mandatory Verification 

What’s the case against it, though?

For many people, it’s a matter of privacy. For example, what if users don’t want to upload IDs for fear of data misuse? Or even a barrier to entry for apps looking to reach their users? Those are all things that can be solved — and the pros would certainly outweigh the cons.

“If IDV is labeled as ‘another barrier to entry,’ then it’s more about the poor user onboarding experience than the process itself,” Kotkas says.

Say it again for the people in the back.

Plus, it can be argued that many apps can tailor verification — for example, to either age validation or even selfie matching — without full ID uploads.

Yes, users should have full transparency and control over how their data is used, he adds, and a clear understanding of who has access to it. So, if you can ensure that in your app onboarding process, the case against it could flip.

Why the Stakes Are Higher Than Ever 

Like I said, we’re living in a time of deepfakes and AI-generated catfish profiles. Folks are even chatfishing, too. Soooo… yeah, the stakes are higher than ever.

“There’s no silver bullet, but a multi-layered approach,” Kotkas explains, “A fraud-prevention ecosystem that incorporates biometrics, IDV, and data cross-linking.”

As fraud tactics get even trickier, and AI becomes more common,
apps must adopt adaptive verification models.

What Now? Finding the Middle Ground 

So, what now? Well, I’d say the next step is to make identity verification the standard. After all, if you can curate someone’s dating experience from start to finish — and get rid of the awkward types of conversations I went through on that first date — wouldn’t users feel even more considered in their dating endeavors?


I think if you asked anyone — women, especially — they’d say that identity verification is transitioning to a standard expectation in modern dating. But the option to choose is part of democratic societies. So maybe give users a choice of how they’re verified vs. whether they’re verified at all.

If dating apps are where modern love begins, maybe it’s time that users can expect you to verify that it’s real.