Key Takeaways
- “Choremancing” is a powerful compatibility test that shows how modern daters value authentic, low-pressure dates over traditional romantic gestures.
- Modern daters are prioritizing fast and low-cost compatibility checks that reveal values and behaviors early on in the dating process.
- Casual settings can spark deeper chemistry and meaningful conversations, offering platforms an alternative to high-cost romantic experiences.
Someone once said there’s beauty in the mundane. Now daters claim there’s romance, too: “Choremancing” is the new dating trend that has singles swapping expensive restaurants for grocery store aisles.
According to these daters, doing chores on a first date instead of, you know, going to a restaurant or to the movies, can be a surprisingly efficient way to gauge chemistry.
The term “choremancing” originated with Plenty of Fish. The dating platform has a history of coming up with headline-grabbing portmanteaus for dating trends (remember curveball-crushing and truecasting?), and choremancing is no different.
Forty-two percent of PoF survey respondents said they’ve choremanced before they knew it had a name.
Although PoF first floated the idea back in 2025, it recently gained steam on social media, with HuffPost claiming that many daters “might be doing it … and not even know it.” Case in point: Forty-two percent of PoF survey respondents said they’ve choremanced before they knew it had a name.
Plenty of Fish writer Eva Gallagher said the rise of choremancing reveals a generation of daters ready and willing to connect as authentically and meaningfully as possible — and they want platforms and dating experts to help them make it happen.
The idea of low-key, low-cost, but high-impact dates is particularly appealing to modern daters, who tend to crave economical dating. Folding a first date into one’s errands not only makes them more interesting, but more productive and more enjoyable, and may even cut down on the average cost of a first date.
Couples Who Choremance are “Green Flags”
The grocery store, the car wash, the laundromat; they’re not the first places that come to mind when we think “romantic getaways.” But that’s kind of the point, said Tammy Shaklee, a relationship expert and president of LGBTQ+ matchmaking service H4M Matchmaking.
“H4M even encourages couples on a 4th date to hit the aisles of a grocery store or farmers market to pick out fresh produce [or] some groceries for the week, [and] together choose ingredients to go to one’s house and prepare a meal together,” she told DatingNews.
Couples who vibe together in the grocery store is a “green flag,” she said. And daters search for red and green flags because they want clear-cut identifiers of compatibility and trustworthiness. Being able to connect and have fun over low-key activities is one of those clear identifiers.
Daters search for red and green flags because they want clear-cut identifiers of compatibility.
This is a sign to dating platforms and relationship experts that authentic connection is often found in unexpected places. Elaborate first dates may not resonate with daters as much as low-key, low-cost, and low-commitment dates.
We’ve all heard of the “waiter test”, AKA the idea that the way one treats a restaurant server says more about who they are than how they treat their date. The same idea is at play with choremancing, Shaklee explained.
“What if there is a curve ball thrown in the middle of the errand or chore, how do they react?” she posited. After all: “A long-term sustainable relationship is more than roses and rainbows romance, it’s being together in the every day [life routine].”
It’s Cheap, Simple, and Effective
By now, we know that millennial and Gen Z daters prefer learning about each other’s non-negotiables within the first few dates. Nearly half (47.7%) of surveyed daters from the app BLK said they want to know their date’s opinions on politics, money, and even religion as early as the first date.
Eighty-six percent feel the same way about financial goals and family dynamics. “Attraction deepens with clarity and shared direction,” according to BLK.
And fewer daters are willing to pay for this kind of clarity these days. And why would they, if a night spent sorting clothes at the laundromat is more, well, romantically productive than an awkward evening spent sipping overpriced wine?
On a choremancing date, “two singles start to learn each other’s real life behaviors, reactions, thoughts, and opinions and in real time.”
“On a choremancing … date, two singles start to learn each other’s real life behaviors, reactions, thoughts, and opinions and in real time,” Shakelee told us. “It’s more than [talking about] like and dislikes while strolling or shopping; It’s seeing interactions and responses in what is our everyday lives.”
For better or for worse, daters are seeking authenticity. Of course, getting some bang for their buck doesn’t hurt, either. The tide has been turning away from expensive dates for quite some time now. Last year, eharmony found that 75% of surveyed American daters would prioritize their financial goals over their romantic goals.
Even 45% of surveyed women said they would avoid spending more than $60 a month on dating. Clearly, daters have a financial incentive to keep dates short, sweet, and casual.
But don’t get us wrong: The real motivation behind choremancing has less to do with money and more to do with overall efficiency.
Choremancing Gets to the Root of Shared Values
Choremancing converts say that the unconventional dating trend saves time, money, and even emotional pain. With this in mind, Shaklee advises platforms and brands to “lean in to being a safe and public location for singles to meet up and hang out.”
Consider the scene in the romcom 500 Days of Summer when the main characters are gallivanting through IKEA. This has become a cliché, yet influential, portrayal of the kind of low-cost, high-impact fun modern singles want to have on dates.
In the film, the outing is a way for the characters to play house without fully committing to the relationship. The same qualities are what make choremancing so enticing to daters.
Chemistry usually exists in shared values, and being in a more relaxed setting could foster more introspective conversations, allowing daters to establish their core values even quicker.
Being in a more relaxed setting could foster more introspective conversations.
What starts out as a trip to the grocery store turns into a conversation about your beloved grandmother’s carrot cake recipe, which turns into a deep-dive into you and your date’s family histories and favorite desserts, not to mention a little playful banter about whether vegetables belong in cakes in the first place.
It sounds corny, but some daters see this as a more productive way to gauge chemistry. If there are no sparks, then at least you end the date with some carrot cake instead of a foot-long bill and an hour of wasted time.
It’s an important lesson to platforms: Don’t underestimate the power of a casual stroll through the grocery store. It could foster more romance than a stuffy $150 candlelit dinner ever could.
