Dating Apps Must Tackle the ‘Cringe Factor’ to Retain Gen Z Users

Sincerity, earnestness, authentic soul-baring; these days, they’re about as effective on a dating app as a frat guy holding freshly-caught trout. In other words: No one wants to see them. 

In recent weeks, the dating industry has been abuzz with the news that Gen Z thinks showing vulnerability on dating apps is “cringe.” As unprecedented numbers of young people leave dating apps behind for in-person connections, it’s clear that something on the apps no longer works for them. 

Maybe cringiness really is part of the problem. But the satisfying, authentic relationships that Gen Z craves are not possible without both people showing vulnerability.

What’s a dating app to do? Do they risk being “cringe” if it means facilitating real relationships, or do they directly follow Gen Z trends? 

There may only be one way out of this cringe conundrum: Dating apps must make vulnerability tolerable for Gen Z. Investing in innovation and offering mental health materials may help this wellness-obsessed generation come to terms with their hang-ups — and finally make some real romantic connections.  

Those With Gen Z’s Ear Must Provide “Robust Support” 

Just when we thought the stigma surrounding mental health was disappearing, it popped up yet again. But this time, the stigma is encapsulated in one tidy word: “Cringe.” 

For some daters, sincerity is like looking directly into the sun. To be in touch with one’s emotions, desires, and needs on a dating app is to be uncool — or even unworthy of love. Do you have love to give? Don’t tell anyone about it, Gen Z says. 

One could argue that dating app users who are in touch with their emotions and aren’t afraid to communicate them are healthier than their counterparts. In many ways, a Gen Z dater who cringes when someone expresses themselves would benefit from a little soul-searching — or brain-searching, according to an Australian study by Youth Insight. 

“53% of young people report that they don’t like to discuss their mental health concerns because they don’t want others to think they are weak and vulnerable,” the study reports. 

For some young people, saying “I need help” and “I need love” touches the same vulnerable nerve. It’s no wonder they find something as innocuous as a “I’m looking for a serious relationship” bio to be cringe. 

Youth Insights emphasized how those with influence over Gen Z — such as a dating app — have an obligation to enact positive change: “It is more important than ever for us to provide accessible and robust supports when [Gen Z is] experiencing issues or difficulties in life.” 

Overcoming “Cringe” One Feature at a Time

Apps can fulfill this obligation by investing in innovation that narrows matches by compatibility and provides messaging support. Providing more accurate matches may make it easier for users to connect on an emotional level, which may pave the way for non-cringey vulnerability. 

As for messaging support, look to Tinder’s “Are You Sure?” feature. By prompting users to think twice about what they’re trying to say in a message, Tinder is forcing them to analyze the meaning behind their words. 

Although the feature is largely a way to curb inappropriate messages on dating apps — Are you sure you want to send that suggestive message, that borderline-rude comment? — it’s also a way for apps to encourage more thoughtful dialogues between matches. 

The atmosphere a dating app creates is especially important. 

Keep in mind that Gen Z often uses humor to cover their real feelings. Instead of answering a Hinge prompt sincerely, they reference a meme or viral pop culture moment. Instead of saying “I’m looking for a serious relationship” on their profile, they say, “How did I end up on [insert dating app here]?” 

Creating a warm, low-pressure atmosphere is key on dating apps. It helps balance humor and heart, which may be exactly what Gen Z needs to get in touch with their vulnerable sides. 

Apps Can Destigmatize What Makes Them “Cringe” 

As dating professionals, we know all about the downsides to online dating. It’s the surprising upsides that can prove beneficial to Gen Z. LMFT Alisa Foreman told Embark Behavioral Health how online dating can ease social anxiety and foster healthy communication skills. 

Intuitive UX design and messaging capabilities can enhance communication, create a comfortable atmosphere, and help the socially anxious be more emotionally open. With these features, dating apps can destigmatize their own “cringe” reputations. 

Nip the fear of cringe in the bud by proving to Gen Z app users that sincerity and honesty aren’t the end of the world, and cringe — as unpleasant as it may be — is all part of the process. 

Oftentimes, the road to authentic connections begins with cringe.