Key Takeaways

As a sex and relationship writer who is often likened to being the queer-coded Carrie Bradshaw, folks tend to open up to me a lot about their dating lives (which I truly love!). And over the years, I’ve been lucky to hear so much tea. One of the biggest spills? Hearing countless people say, “I didn’t really like them, but I got a free meal out of it!”

What if I told you, though, that online daters are now only agreeing to go on dates for the free meal? It’s one thing to go on a date with someone and then realize they weren’t for you. It’s another to say yes for the vibes… the vibe being sushi and free sake. 

Of course, this phenomenon has existed for a long time — unlike AI to match users with their type — but now in the world of swiping and matching and pings, it’s even more apparent. Oh, and it has a name: the foodie call. And so many folks are doing it.

Listen, I’m not here to judge. A girl (guy, gay or they) has to eat! But, truthfully, this behavior does make me think: Are people really that tired of dating? Is this about something more than just making it financially in the big city? What does it mean for online dating as we know it?

To me, foodie calls seem to be a loud and clear signal of the act of quitting. A quiet quitting for the dating world, if you will. 

What Is a foodie call in 2025? 

Like a booty call, but for food. Yes, that’s right. Simply put, a foodie call — in the same vein as a booty call, in which sex is the goal instead of building a long-lasting relationship — this term centers around one thing and one thing only: food.

Not (in my eyes) unsurprisingly, many dating app users will agree to go on a date with someone, not because they’re truly interested in the other, but because they want a free meal out of it.

And this isn’t just anecdotal. According to new research, 33% of women surveyed said they’ve engaged in a “foodie call.” They also reported that a majority of these women felt that a foodie call was truly socially acceptable.

It’s like the classic line in “Stage Door”: “To me, they’re meat and potatoes.” Considering that the film came out in 1937, and not in 2025, it’s telling of just how long the premise of foodie calls has been around.

Foodie calls = quiet quitting for dating 

Remember when quiet quitting became a thing? Folks were just quietly doing the bare minimum at their jobs, waiting until they were let go or replaced. Think of foodie calls in the same way. 

Rather than app users using your dating service to find their match, they’re burned out, stressed out financially, and, even more so, emotionally clocked out.

Hence, the quiet quitting of the dating world. Who has time for dating when the world is on fire? Or when eggs are a million dollars and gas prices are extreme?

The truth is, for dating industry experts, many of your app users are likely disengaged from what you’re even trying to sell: lasting love or hookup, or just simple human connection. I’d argue that foodie calls are the proof.

Once you do get them on a date, they’re not actually in it for love, and instead, they focus on the transactional portion. Now, unless you’re Seeking.com, I am pretty sure that’s not what most of your ethos is all about. 

In many ways, users are opting out without deleting the app, so it may be time for you and your team to pay attention.

The grey area that keeps growing

As I said before, we’re not here to judge. But I also understand that, yes, foodie calls could feel manipulative to the person picking up the tab.  But when it comes to dating app usage, in actuality, folks who choose to engage in a foodie call aren’t breaking terms of service, really.

So, of course, it’s a gray area that just keeps on growing.

It fits right in with all of the other gray-zone (maybe even trendy) dating behaviors that folks in the industry hear about day in and day out. Love bombing. Explorationships. Unicorn hunting. Breadcrumbing. Zombieing. Last, but not least, foodie calls.

But all of these things are grey areas for a reason. The issue, in my opinion, is that dating platforms don’t exactly require honesty to run, as much as they require interaction. As long as engagement is the sign of success for apps, foodie calls (and other trendy dating terms that aren’t exactly kosher) will continue to thrive. 

That’s another major switch to consider chewing on for a bit. See what I did there?

The transactional truth no one wants to say 

Another thing? Whether you believe the foodie call is wrong or not, there’s also a case to be made that dating has always been transactional in the early stages. In this case, the foodies just make that transaction even more obvious, and that may take away from what you’re trying to build.

So if you really want to get to the bottom of the bowl, so to speak, maybe it would be better to ask, “Why is this happening as much as it is?”

After all, it can’t be that folks are just looking to be mean to other daters or take full advantage at every turn in their dating life. There are legit reasons behind the foodie call that don’t just come down to, “I need a good steak frites tonight,” or “Free martinis? Yes please. 🍸”

The answer? They’re tired of dating. The world is exhausting. Everything is expensive. So, as dating industry experts, instead of putting the behavior down, try to ask how you can help combat user fatigue and make their dating lives feel a bit less stuffy and hard.

Try to understand why these so-called foodie callers are quietly quitting the apps and how you can re-engage them to behave better. 

Or, rather than change it, try to understand why people stay on your app — even when they’ve quietly given up — because that may be your most powerful, impactful insight on the foodie front.

Just like the booty call has existed for millennia, so have foodie calls. In 2025, in a world where dating app users are quietly opting out, I think that foodie calls mau be less of a red flag and more of a warning light for the industry on what users need and want in their dating experiences.

Of course, that could just mean a good bite to eat.