Thanks to the rise of online dating, married people face more temptation than ever before, and there are a lot of gray areas when mingling on an affair dating site or app. Where do you draw the line between harmless flirtation and actually having an affair? Is signing up for a dating site or app a transgression? Does chatting necessarily mean cheating? Some couples say yes, while others may not see it that way.
As Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City” says, “Someone’s definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.”
If you’re thinking about straying from a marriage or a relationship, the best affair dating sites can offer a safe and anonymous place to consider your options. Just make sure you don’t accidentally swipe on your significant other and get busted.
Best Overall Affair Dating Sites
Hookup sites are frequented by singles and not-so singles of all ages and orientations. They’re fun places to shake things up and walk on the wild side without getting too invested or serious. Casual daters can use the following free-to-join sites to seek the gratification and excitement they’re missing in their everyday lives.
- A global network of naughty singles over 18
- Ability to blur nude and explicit content, if desired
- Advanced search filters and one-on-one messaging
As you can tell from its name, BeNaughty isn’t a site for do-gooders and straight-edge singles, and that’s why it’s one of the best affair dating sites. This casual sex platform can encourage a married person to embrace their naughty side and color outside the lines once in awhile.
BeNaughty allows its members to browse the hookup site under a username, and you don’t have to add a profile picture unless you want to actually chat with someone online. The affair site offers free messaging, but members must have verified photos to take part in the fun.
It’s worth noting that BeNaughty will not ask you to disclose your relationship status or dating history in your profile, but you can write all the juicy details in your bio if you want your dates to know what’s going on with you.
- One of the largest adults-only sex communities
- Free and fast registration process
- Dating forums and live chats foster live flirtation
With over 100 million users, Adult Friend Finder is undoubtedly the most popular adult dating site in the world, and it makes an erotic and illicit encounter available to anyone over the age of 18.
When you set up your free AFF account, you can identify yourself as a man, woman, couple, or group depending on your situation. AFF is a poly-friendly site, so don’t be surprised if a few swingers and cheaters come your way. You could get tips about how to have a successful open relationship, and you can satisfy your desire for an extramarital affair by sexting strangers, watching strip teases, and reading erotic stories. And you can arrange a secret affair on this married dating site as well.
Adult Friend Finder will help keep your married secrets as you explore everything this sex-driven community has to offer a married person.
- Discreetly arranges one-night stands and extramarital affairs
- More than 80 million profiles worldwide
- Travel-friendly features for seeking matches in other cities
Ashley Madison offers a discreet and exciting dating website where infidelity is a way of life. The married dating site’s motto is “Life is short. Have an affair.” No need to hold back or beat around the bush on this affair dating website and app.
Ashley Madison sees over 5 million monthly active users, and its database includes more than 54 million people, so there are plenty of avenues for finding a love affair. Lonely wives and husbands may seek an affair partner in real life, or they may only want to communicate online and keep their identity private. Ashley Madison is the best site for privacy because it can blur and mask faces in photos.
About 60% of Ashley Madison users say they’re looking for casual sex, and 44% of men and 39% of women on the site say they have already had an extramarital affair.
- A casual personals site for singles, couples, and groups
- Profiles have suggestive photos and strip tease videos
- Chat live via a two-way webcam or private messaging
FriendFinder-X prides itself on being a discreet affair site where “good girls do bad things.” That includes straying from a relationship and having a sexually charged extramarital affair.
The FriendFinder-X team explains, “Our site caters to single, not so single, and open couples looking for casual fun with no long-term commitment. FriendFinder-X.com is the place to be for average people looking to spice things up, without changing their current lifestyle.”
With a FriendFinder-X dating profile, you can explore local hotties and engage in flirtatious chats without revealing your true identity. If someone special catches your eye, you can always take things to the next level by sending that man or woman pictures, exchanging phone numbers, or arranging a casual encounter. You never know who you’ll meet or what will happen on FriendFinder-X, and that’s part of the fun.
- The dating app of choice for millions of sexually active singles
- Accelerating the dating process through swiping
- Has led to over 75 billion mutual matches
Unless you’ve been living under a married rock for the last 10 years, you’ve probably heard of Tinder. It’s the most popular dating app for 20-somethings and 30-somethings, and it is responsible for arranging over 1.5 million dates per week.
Tinder welcomes singles of all ages, orientations, and backgrounds, and you’ll even find some users who are married or in a relationship. A research firm called the GlobalWebIndex (GWI) estimated that 30% of Tinder users are married and 12% are in a committed relationship. Those numbers seem awfully high to us, but it underscores just how common cheating on Tinder is.
Tinder’s popularity makes it a dangerous space for anyone dating under the radar. A hush affair may not stay secret for long if you maintain an active Tinder profile. Buster Smith warns cheaters, “All it takes is one person to see your profile and bring it to the attention of your significant other.”
- Free private messaging available to all members
- Users can state that they're seeking hookups on their profiles
- Responsible for 50,000 dates per week
OkCupid is a free dating site and app where users can have a lengthy conversation and make romantic connections based on true compatibility. This isn’t exactly marketed as a cheating site — but it can help married men and women find a compatible partner or casual sexual encounters.
You can be upfront about your relationship status and relationship type when you join OkCupid, and you can also identify yourself as seeking hookups, short-term dating, friendship, or long-term dating. The dating profile has a lot of sections where you can describe your interests, values, favorite movies or TV shows, and life ambitions.
OkCupid allows members to be themselves and pick up dates, and that begins with the open-ended profile setup. Some users stick to the basics and leave a little mystery for their matches, while others fill in every section and bare their hearts on the dating website.
- Free profile browsing and liking
- Private chat rooms and video dates for Match members only
- Fast-working, time-tested AI match algorithm
Match is a premium dating site that has been in operation since 1995. Its mission is to help singles find a serious relationship that leads to marriage, but it has definitely been used for affairs, casual sex, and short-term dating as well.
A married person can browse the online dating site for free under an anonymous username, and you only need to upload a photo if you want to show up in search results or send messages. You can also hide your dating profile whenever you want and stay under the radar on the dating site.
Match has a variety of screening tools and search filters to help you navigate the dating scene, and you can also find singles events (cooking classes, speed dating, dance classes, etc.) in any city in the U.S.
- Fast-paced dating scene available in 80 countries
- Full members can send unlimited messages
- Advanced search filters help you zero in on the hottest dates
As a social networking and dating website, Zoosk has over 40 million users in its global database, and many of them are serious about picking up dates.
The Zoosk Carousel is the best place to get your swiping game on and view compatible dating profiles one at a time. As you like and message other users, the Zoosk match algorithm will learn what you like and dislike, and it will suggest matches accordingly. This behavioral matchmaking system can lead to a casual encounter or a serious relationship depending on how you play it.
If you’re a married man or woman seeking a potential partner, Zoosk can meet your casual dating needs.
This online dating platform has a lot of communication features to play around with, and free members can read and send replies to some greetings, but they have to upgrade to a monthly plan to get full access to the messages in their inboxes.
- Free instant messages for all singles
- Over 150 million members in 20 countries
- The MeetMe section highlights local hotties
Since 2003, Plenty of Fish has established itself as a free-wheeling dating site and app full of genuine men and women. The POF community is active in 20 countries, and it boasts having over 150 million members.
It’s completely free to send messages to anyone on Plenty of Fish — you don’t even have to create a mutual match — and free members also benefit from the 24/7 support of the Help Center, which answers common questions about the signup process, messaging features, image policy, and security concerns.
This online dating website vets new users, so you won’t run into a fake profile as you seek a potential partner for married dating or a foreign affair.
“You have a commitment from us to help ensure that you feel welcomed, safe, and free to be yourself,” according to the Plenty of Fish Community Rules. “You should be respectful in every interaction with other members. There is no place in our community for hate speech, racism, or bigotry.”
Best LGBT Affair Dating Sites
The Netflix show “Grace and Frankie” is about two women coping with the fact that their ex-husbands are gay and have been having an affair for 20 years. The show tackles the complicated fallout of cheating, divorcing, and coming out of the closet. Although it is initially painful, everyone eventually ends up in a good place.
“When you left, I thought my life was over,” Frankie says to her ex in one episode. “And now I love having that bed to myself. It’s fantastic. I sleep in a giant X!”
If you’re gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or just plan curious, the following married dating sites can help you explore your feelings and decide what you want.
- A massive men-only sex and swinger community
- Browse profiles and send private messages to your favorites
- Profiles feature erotic videos and sexually explicit blogs
MenNation is a men-only online dating site where you can search for a sexual partner by age, location, and body type. The dating platform gives gay singles and couples instant access to a world of romance.
Every day, about 70,000 men visit MenNation in search of excitement, romance, and sexual encounters, and this married dating site doesn’t disappoint. It’s free to create an account and browse the profiles of men like you. Who knows? Someone sexy may catch your eye or send a provocative message to your inbox.
Whether you’re still in the closet or openly gay, you can use MenNation as a private place to meet guys who share your interests and desires. A secret affair with a married man is well within reach thanks to MenNation.
- Create a free profile in less than a minute
- Search filters can identify attractive singles and couples in the area
- Strip tease videos, revealing photos, and other adult content
LesbianPersonals has created a female-friendly casual dating space where women can follow their passions and embrace their sexuality. The hookup site caters to lesbian women, bisexual women, lesbian couples, straight couples, and poly groups seeking female companionship.
You can stay under the radar on LesbianPersonals because the online dating site doesn’t require users to browse under their real names. Instead, you can choose a sexy alter ego and attract an affair partner who enjoys a little mystery in their sexual encounters.
As the world’s largest lesbian hookup site, LesbianPersonals opens the door to many erotic conversations and stimulating relationships that don’t happen every day.
- Sexually active men can create free profiles
- Matching system uses GPS information to find local dates
- Millions of prospects available in 192 countries
Last but certainly not least, Grindr is a thriving gay dating app where men can be themselves and pick up dates on the go. The app uses location-based settings to find dates who are within walking distance of you, and that makes it the perfect wingman for married men at a club or bar.
Millions of singles use Grindr for arranging an illicit encounter with hotties, but it can also lead to an honest-to-goodness committed relationship. “Make whatever you want out of it,” said a Reddit user in a thread about Grindr. “Cute guy messaged me, we planned on hooking up…now we’ve been together for two years.”
Grindr offers a low-key atmosphere where guys can get to know the dating scene and build confidence one match at a time. Whether you want a secret affair or sugar daddy, this online dating platform can hook you up.
What is the Most Successful Dating Site?
There’s no easy answer for this question because success comes in many different forms in the online dating industry. For instance, Tinder has created over 75 billion matches since its launch in 2012, but that impressive number doesn’t translate to IRL dates, relationships, and marriages.
Adult Friend Finder boasts having the world’s largest casual dating and sex community, and Hinge says it has the highest first-date success rate of any other dating app. But, again, those stats don’t necessarily mean long-term success.
If we’re talking about the dating site with the longest track record of success, then we have to talk about Match, which is the longest running dating site in the world. Match doesn’t market itself as an affair website, but that doesn’t stop some users seeking discreet relationships.
- Match is the world's longest running dating site
- The Discover section has search filters by interests, looks, lifestyle, and more
- Match is available in 50 countries and 15 languages
Match’s longevity speaks to its success in the dating scene, and it has led to more relationships and marriages than any of its competitors.
Singles will be in good hands with Match. It’s not exactly an adult dating site, but it has millions of active users and enough matchmaking tools to introduce you to local singles.
Which Dating Site is Completely Free?
Pretty much every dating site is somewhat free, but only a handful are 100% forever free for everyone. OkCupid is one of our favorite free dating sites because its basic membership never expires and includes instant messaging.
OkCupid does have an A-List subscription plan that includes unlimited likes, advanced search filters, and an ad-free experience, but it is completely optional and not necessary to a successful online dating experience.
- Free, unlimited communication for everyone
- Singles can swipe or search for a compatible date
- Over 91 million connections every year
You don’t have to pay anything to like, match, chat, and date people on OkCupid, and that’s liberating for men and women who feel they don’t meet enough singles in real life.
How Much Does Ashley Madison Cost?
Ashley Madison is easily one of the biggest names in the affair dating space, and many experts would rank it among the best dating sites for married people. However, we feel its pricing model is a bit too rich for the average online dater, so we’d recommend trying more cost-effective alternatives to meet your married dating needs.
An Ashley Madison subscription plan starts at $69.99 a month — that’s the cheapest option — and the affair site’s premium features include unlimited messaging and the ability to match with people in different cities. Be warned: subscriptions automatically renew, which means users have to go into their settings if they want to cancel their subscription and not be charged every month.
- A uniquely open-minded dating network
- Privacy-conscious features
- Over 1.4 million matches per month
Something else we appreciate about Ashley Madison is its discreet payment processing. The affair site won’t out you by having its infamous name show up on credit card bills or bank statements. Your payments will look innocuous to any prying eyes. Privacy is a top priority for the Ashley Madison team, particularly in the wake of its leaked data scandal in 2015.
Married men and married women have flocked to Ashley Madison because it’s a well-known cheating site, but any of the adult dating sites on this list could lead to an illicit encounter, discreet affair, or committed relationship.
Is Gleeden in the U.S.?
Yes, Gleeden is an affair dating site available in 190 countries, including the U.S. The company is based in France (seems fitting, right?), but it has an international following of more than 5 million members.
Americans should note that Gleeden is primarily a European dating site, so it will work best if you’re traveling abroad or just want to chat with someone online. It’s not going to have a lot of options for Americans seeking local dates.
Consider Your Options on an Affair Dating Site
Cheating means something different to everyone. Some people say looking at porn or fantasizing about someone else is the same as cheating. Some people say a little flirtation is harmless, and micro-cheating is a natural part of life. The boundaries differ from relationship to relationship, and it’s up to you to define what crosses the line and how far you’re willing to go.
Joining one of the best affair dating sites could be the first step to stepping out of your marriage, or it could be a short-lived fantasy that makes you appreciate what you have all the more.
Whether you’re feeling restless or just a little curious, you can browse an anonymous app or site to figure out what you want. Keep in mind that having an affair is a serious decision, and it could lead to some serious consequences if you’re not careful. Don’t take the plunge unless you’re prepared for everything that could come after. Good luck!