How many times have you flipped through online dating profiles and seen “I’m terrible at talking about myself” as an excuse for an almost completely empty bio? The rise of generative AI promises a possible end to that annoyance, both for singles lacking in inspiration and their potential partners.

Asking ChatGPT or another text-based AI system to write your profile for you can take a lot of the stress out of the situation, but it comes with some ethical questions. After all, how authentic is it to let AI write your bio for you? 

Understanding what an online dating bio is, how it works, and what it means to bring AI into the equation can help you decide whether you want to use an AI assistant to help you craft your bio. Considering the benefits and downsides and understanding how to best make use of this new tool (if you decide to do so) will let you get the most out of AI assistants.

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Definition & Purpose 

An online dating bio can take a few different forms, depending on the platform you choose. 

But bios all have something in common: they’re short, personal descriptions that allow users to introduce themselves, highlight their interests and values, and communicate what they’re looking for in a partner.

First impressions matter, so make sure you put your best self out there!

The purpose of a dating profile bio is to give potential partners a first impression of who you are, showcase your personality, and encourage initial interactions. Your bio can also help you establish compatibility with other users on the platform of your choice. 

A well-written bio helps you stand out in a positive way, attracting the right partners and helping you connect.

Elements of a Traditional Online Dating Bio

Online dating bios look a little different from one platform to another. Some platforms just have you answer drop-down or multiple-choice questions, while others give you a specific set of short essay questions, like “Where would you go on vacation if money was no object?”

Despite the differences in format, most online dating bios have some key sections in common.

Personal Information

Since your bio is about you, it should contain some personal information. The amount of information depends both on what the platform requires and what you’re comfortable putting out there, but you can expect certain basics to come up:

  • Age
  • Gender
  • Location

You might also be asked to provide details like your occupation, education, and hobbies. Hookup apps often ask about your physical characteristics: height, weight (or build), hair and eye color, etc. 

Expectations or Intentions

You’ve also got to state your intentions. If you’re looking for the love of your life, you should be explicit about that, and if you’re just looking for Mr. Right Now, you should be upfront about that, too.

If you do not tell people what you are looking for, how are they going to find you?

Being upfront about your intentions and what you’re looking for means that you’re less likely to hear from users who have different goals from you. And for many platforms, you can actually set your preferences regarding what you’re looking for and what your suggested matches are looking for. 

Photos

You should include a few photos in your online dating bio as well because people like to have an idea of who they’re talking to. Finding the perfect profile picture can seem like a tricky proposition, but there are a few guidelines to follow.

Your main profile picture should have certain qualities to help you stand out and give your potential matches the best idea of who you are and what you look like. These profile picture guidelines aren’t set in stone, but they will get you the best results:

  • Make sure your picture is high-quality, with decent lighting, and not blurry from motion or other issues.
  • Your main profile picture should be of only you, not a group shot with friends or a photo with your kids or other family members.
  • Wear something that fits with your day-to-day outfit choices — don’t choose something fancy that you never wear just to make an impression.
  • Avoid using filters that obscure what you really look like, and in fact, try to avoid obvious filters of any kind.
  • Keep in mind that this is for a dating site, not for LinkedIn or Facebook! Your main profile picture should be engaging and welcoming and show off your personality.

As a final note, unless you’re on a dedicated hookup site or app, keep in mind that content guidelines can be on the strict side. 

For example, Bumble won’t allow any nudity, and even bathing suit photos have to be taken outdoors. 

The User Experience

Building your online dating profile can be stressful, but it’s your number one tool for attracting the kind of potential partner you’re looking for. 

Your bio is your first impression, your chance to charm, and your source for icebreakers with another user that piques your interest, so it’s important to put some thought into it.

Creating Matches

Your bio helps you generate matches and start the conversation once you and another user match up. A detailed profile gives the platform information to begin the matching process, comparing your information with what other users include. 

Photo of woman swiping dating profiles
Dating apps use your bio to connect you with potential matches.

It also helps you to screen out any potential matches that aren’t likely to work out, since you can see their details, and they can see yours. 

When another user’s profile piques your interest, you can follow up by using a detail from their bio or your own to start a conversation!

Signaling Intentions

Your bio also makes it easy to signal what you’re looking for, whether that’s a one-night stand, casual dating, or something serious.

Most platforms have a dedicated section in the bio for you to state what you’re looking for, but even in the short essay format that Tinder offers, you can put your preferences in words, and other users do the same.

The Importance of Authenticity

Your bio should reflect who you are, and in fact, having your bio too polished and perfect can be off-putting. Obviously, you want to strike a balance between being honest and authentic and being attractive, but that’s a very important balance.

Side by side comparison of a woman's photo and an overly photoshopped version
An overly edited profile picture can make you seem inauthentic.

If you’re direct and open about who you are — including the occasional faulty grammar or odd quirk — you’re more likely to attract someone who is compatible. 

But avoid going into too much detail about your faults or being too negative about your life, your personality, or the people you’ve been with before.

The Impact of AI on Dating Bios

The rise of generative AI systems like ChatGPT has already had an undeniable impact on the online dating experience. AI assistants and other tools enable users to either tweak their profiles or outsource the entire profile creation process to a computer.

Profile Optimization

AI tools are already helping users to optimize their online dating profiles. Sites like Match offer profile audits complete with suggestions on where to tweak your details or how to express yourself in a way that’s more engaging and genuine. 

Personalization

Many dating sites use AI algorithms as the basis of their matching systems. The personal data that you submit about your interests, hobbies, values, and other details gives the algorithm a starting point for suggesting matches.

Adding that sparkle. If your profile needs a little extra polish, AI can help.

As you react to your potential partners, the algorithm gets smarter, offering more targeted suggestions.

Grammar and Style Adjustments

AI tools and assistants can help you tweak your language to come across as more charming, witty, and engaging. Whether you use style help from a tool like Grammarly or a built-in assistant from the online dating platform of your choice, these tools may help you transform your bio from basic and direct to funny, interesting, and attractive. 

The Benefits of Using AI to Craft Your Bio

Before you decide to hop onto a text-based AI and ask it to build you a custom dating profile, it’s a good idea to understand what AI has to offer, as well as its limitations and the issues that arise with using AI to write your online dating bio for you.

Increased Quality

Because AI tools to tweak your grammar and optimize your style are so accessible, the overall quality of online dating bios can increase.

LLMs can help refine a profile, but getting ChatGPT to write one for you can lead to trouble. Be careful.

Free AI tools can give users the ability to create expert-style dating profiles without having to consult expensive experts one-on-one.

Improved Self-Presentation

Nothing succeeds in the dating game like confidence, and AI tools for building and editing profiles give many users a lot more confidence. 

Instead of worrying about spelling and grammar errors or mixing your metaphors, you can focus on highlighting your best traits, all while the AI style suggestions help steer you to a more engaging way of saying things.

Efficient Profile Management

AI profile-building tools mean that you can create multiple dating profiles aimed at different goals in a matter of moments instead of having to spend hours crafting different approaches. 

That gives you plenty of time to test out what gets the best response and tailor your bio to your changing goals.

Breaking the Ice

AI-generated prompts can provide shy and introverted daters the tools to get a conversation started. Getting off on the right foot with a good joke or a comment on someone’s interests can lead to a great date. 

In fact, many dating sites and apps already provide AI-generated icebreakers.

The Downsides of Using AI to Craft Your Bio

Just like there are benefits to using generative AI programs to help you tweak or build your online dating profile, there are definite downsides and costs as well. Beyond the ethical concerns around AI generally, there are some online dating-specific drawbacks to keep in mind.

Loss of Authenticity

One of the dangers of using AI tools to build your profile is that most text-based generative AI functions in ways that are closer to autocorrect than to original content. This means that your profile risks becoming formulaic and impersonal instead of interesting and engaging. 

Another issue is that the drive to optimize your profile more and more might lead to you misrepresenting yourself. Rather than just tweaking your phrasing or correcting any errors, you could end up coming across as someone you’re not.

Lack of Emotional Depth

AI tools don’t have empathy and don’t experience emotions, so AI-generated online dating bios can sometimes come across as shallow. 

AI-written profiles lack the emotional depth of real one. That can make it look like you’re being dishonest, or overly guarded.

A major part of what attracts people is emotional resonance and relatability, so a dating profile that’s shiny and polished but doesn’t have any real emotional content or nuance can be a major turnoff.

Homogenization of Profiles

Because AI tools are so accessible and available to online daters, there’s a real danger that dating profiles can all start to look a bit alike. AI is better at providing an average of many different inputs than it is at producing a completely original text, so increased adoption of AI could result in a lot of déjà vu in online dating.

This is especially a shame, given that originality is a major green flag for online daters, according to studies on the topic. 

Ethical Concerns

The ease with which users can turn to AI tools to help tweak and develop their dating profiles opens up a lot of ethical concerns. How much of the dating profile is really you, and how much of it is a personality the AI came up with?

Some people are opposed to AI for ethical reasons, such as opposition to plagiarism. Those people will take a hard pass on anyone with an AI profile.

There are also ethical questions around whether to disclose that you’ve used AI to improve your profile, and the jury is still out. 

What Users Should Know for the Future

Whether or not you decide to use AI assistance to help you build the perfect dating profile, there’s no question that AI tools are a popular choice. These tools are growing in popularity, and with that popularity come some shifts in the dating culture.

Expectations Versus Reality

AI chatbots and other tools can give users a lot of expectations for how dating will go, whether that’s in general or with a specific person. 

AI remains a controversial topic in the dating scene, and it will likely be some time before its long-term impact becomes clear.

This can lead to a lot of disappointment and frustration when the time comes to actually interact with your potential matches, especially if you feel like you’ve been tricked by their previous use of AI assistance.

Changing Social Norms

While the court of public opinion hasn’t come down firmly on one side or the other of the AI debate, the growing adoption of AI tools for convenience has its own impact. 

What daters consider genuine or authentic may change over time to accommodate AI filters, text assistance, and other tools, which could make in-person dating more challenging.

The Blurring of Human Connection

If users give up too much of their autonomy to AI systems by letting a virtual assistant manage their matchmaking, first contact, and other early stages of connecting with a potential partner, that could detach emotions from romance. 

What AI could do to in-person relationships is potentially devastating, making relationships much more transactional.

The biggest question when it comes to AI-assisted or even AI-generated online dating bios is how to balance the help that AI can provide with being your authentic self. At the end of the day, the goal is to find a partner that is interested in you, not a chatbot.

The goal of online daters in using AI tools should be to keep them as tools instead of using every bell and whistle out there. Keeping a human hand in the mix and allowing your own personality and preferences to shine through will always give you better results. 

What Comes Next

It isn’t clear what direction AI tools and programs will go in the future or even whether these innovative products are here to stay. After all, the top minds in AI are already concerned about the major energy demands and diminishing returns that AI faces when it comes to new development.

However, as things stand today, these assistants, chatbots, and other tools are very popular, and it’s worth figuring out how to use them, and deciding to what degree you want to incorporate AI into your online dating game. 

The major challenge facing AI users in the online dating world is maintaining their authenticity and keeping the human connection at the forefront. AI tools should be used to help you, not to replace personal development, interests, or your personality. 

At the end of the day, your potential partner should want to be with you, not an AI-generated persona.