Plenty of people find their forever on dating apps. According to Pew Research Center, 10% of partnered adults met their significant other on one.
Just ask your friends and acquaintances: Some likely found their partner online. Many people have wonderful experiences with online dating and only get out of the game when they find their person.
Unfortunately, not everyone has a great time with online dating. From catfishing to harassment to sexual assault, there are many hazards to fear with any form of dating. For some people, adding the unknowns of the internet can increase their perceived or very real sense of danger.
No matter your level of comfort with online dating, it’s important to know the worst-case scenarios before you dive into the apps. The following online dating stats are solid data points to have as you try to decide the best way to go about meeting new people.
1. Over 60% of Women Under 34 Encounter Online Harassment
It comes as no surprise that women experience harassment online. Women are regularly victims of sexual harassment, with 81% of women reported being victims of sexual harassment at some point in their lifetimes.
But in the small fraction of their lives they spend on dating apps, 60% of women surveyed between 18 and 34 reported receiving messages from someone after making it clear they weren’t interested. Those messages can range from annoying at best to terrifying at worst.
While some may think that telling a person to stop messaging you is just playing hard to get, daters need to respect their boundaries. Sending one more pickup line may seem harmless to you, but it may make your love interest feel disrespected or even unsafe.
Young women may experience the most harassment, but that doesn’t mean men are immune. In the same survey, 27% of male respondents who online dated said they continued receiving unwanted messages after they said they were not interested. Anyone can experience harassment, and their background or gender doesn’t change the gravity of the situation.
2. Romance Scams Are 4 Times as Costly as Business Scams
Californian online daters have lost tens of thousands of dollars each to romance scams, and they aren’t alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission, consumers’ per-capita loss to romance scams tends to be higher than other forms of fraud.
The FTC received 64,003 reports of romance scams in 2023. That’s a far smaller number than the 474,731 business imposter reports received and the 228,282 government imposter reports.
The median individual loss for romance scams was $2,000 – higher than any other type of imposter scam. To put that in perspective, consumers lost an average of $500 to business scams and $745 for family or friend imposters.
While no one is certain why romance scams are so much more costly than other forms of imposter scam, I can venture an educated guess. Romance scams abuse a victim’s empathy and trust in their potential partners.
If my partner asked for money for a medical expense, I would help him. If he asked me to invest in his business, I would trust him. Victims of romance scams want to do the same for the person they think they can trust. They just trust the wrong person.
There are many ways to protect yourself from romance scams. But if you take away one scam safety rule, let it be this: Don’t transfer money to anyone you’ve only met online.
3. About 15% of Acquaintance Rapes Stemmed From Meetups Through Online Dating
You can meet a predator anywhere: through a friend, at a coffee shop, or online. There’s no way to guarantee that the people you date or even the people you know platonically or professionally are safe to be around. You can only use your best judgment and trust your gut.
A study led by Dr. Julie Valentine at the BYU College of Nursing found that about 14% of rapes committed by an acquaintance stemmed from a dating app introduction.
“From my research findings we are postulating that sexually violent predators use dating apps as hunting grounds for vulnerable victims.” — Dr. Julie Valentine
We don’t have clear data on what percent of romantic introductions have started online. Whether dating app introductions are more likely to lead to sexual violence than connections that start another way is difficult to know.
Daters can find themselves vulnerable to dangerous people no matter how they meet. Clearly, online daters are not entirely safe from sexual violence, but neither are those who only meet partners organically.
That said, dating app introductions don’t include the same level of social screening one experiences when meeting a partner through work or friends, so make sure to properly vet anyone you meet.
To keep yourself a bit safer as you explore dating apps, take some online dating precautions. And when in doubt, phone a friend.
4. Californians Lose $158 Million a Year to Romance Scams
In 2022, California online daters were the biggest losers to romance scams. Social Catfish reported that 2,198 Californians lost $158 million to romance scams. That’s a whopping $71,883.53 average loss per victim.
A romance scam is a type of fraud where fraudsters pretend to be a potential romantic partner to scam a victim out of money.
They can involve a direct transfer of money, in which the fraudster claims to need monetary assistance from their victim. Or, they can involve an indirect transfer of money, in which the fraudster convinces their victim to invest elsewhere, such as a cryptocurrency exchange.
You may be inclined to think that romance scams only happen to the desperate and gullible. Think again.
Eva Velasquez, CEO of the Identity Theft Resource Center, emphasized the insidiousness of romance scams when I interviewed her. “Every person, regardless of age, socioeconomic status, education level, every person is vulnerable to these scams under the right set of circumstances,” Eva told me.
5. Dating App Facilitated Sexual Assaults Are About 30% More Violent
Whether sexual assault is more or less likely to occur after meeting someone through a dating app is unclear. We do know, however, that sexual assaults after dating app meetups tend to be more violent.
According to Valentine’s study, dating-app-facilitated sexual assaults were more violent sexual assaults in terms of victim injuries. Instances of strangulation increased 32.4% in sexual assaults where the victim met the perpetrator through a dating app or site.
There’s no such thing as a tame sexual assault: Any non-consensual sexual act is violent and traumatizing. But the heightened violence of dating-app-facilitated sexual assaults suggests that predators may use dating apps to perpetuate violence against their victims with the knowledge that they can remain anonymous.
Dating-app-facilitated assaults are also less likely to involve the use of drugs and alcohol than non-dating-app-facilitated assaults. This makes it more difficult to (erroneously) blame sexual violence on the drunkenness of the perpetrator or their misunderstanding of their victim’s ability to consent.
6. Dating Apps Should Require Background Checks, Say 60% of Surveyed Americans
While Americans may be divided on whether dating apps are safe, most people agree on one thing: Dating apps need background checks. A Pew Research study found 60% of Americans surveyed said they believe that background checks should be a routine and required part of online dating.
That number is even higher among seniors, women, and people who haven’t used dating apps.
Still, most free apps don’t require or even offer background checks. It’s an expensive and difficult feature to implement. Requiring background checks can be bad for business because that extra step may discourage casual singles who are curious enough to join but not serious enough to undergo a background check.
Of course, some dating apps offer or require background checks. While daters must still be vigilant on dates with people who have passed a check, knowing that your match is who they say they are is a huge stress reliever in online dating.
And if you’re set on using a dating site with no background checks, consider a third-party checker, like DateID. These services can be even more comprehensive than in-app checks, so they’re a great way to keep cautious.
7. Almost 2 in 3 (64%) Adults Have Been Catfished at Some Point in Their Life
When you hear the word “catfish,” you may be picturing a beautifully done-up woman, who takes off her makeup to reveal a (God forbid) average-looking woman underneath, much to the horror of her poor, unsuspecting boyfriend. So sad!
The reality of catfish is much darker and more common. According to a 2024 report put together by Gitnux, 64% of adults reported believing they have been catfished online. While not all catfishing schemes result in financial loss, many turn into romance scams.
For some online daters, encountering a catfish is no big deal – they simply block the profile and report it to the dating platform. For others – encountering a catfish and not realizing it can turn them into the victims of romance scams.
Groups like “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” can be great resources to learn about local swindlers and protect yourself before meeting a stranger IRL.
If you believe you’ve crossed paths with a catfish online – don’t panic. In most cases, you should be able to protect your assets and your heart from them. For next steps, turn to this fake profiles guide so you can move forward quickly.
8. More Than One-Third (35%) of Online Daters Were Sent an Unsolicited Sexually Explicit Image
While consensual sexting between adults can be fun, receiving an unwanted sext is definitely not. Pew Research found that 35% of online daters surveyed said they received an unwanted sexually explicit image online. Not surprisingly, that number was higher for women overall at 46%, and women between 18-34 at 57%.
The law around unsolicited sexting is dicey, and in the United States, it varies by state. Some states, like Texas, have made it illegal to knowingly send unwanted explicit photos. In other states, it may generally fall under the banner of harassment.
As a rule, daters should get clear consent before sending anything explicit to a match. Implied consent is shaky under the best of circumstances, and chatting with a complete stranger is definitely not a viable scenario for that.
No matter where you are, minors should know that if they share sexually explicit photos of themselves, they can face legal action under child pornography law.
A shocking 15% of teens in a survey said they’ve shared a nude photo with someone they met online, so it’s extremely important for minors to know the possible consequences of a message that may seem harmless to them in the moment.
Online Dating Safety Stats Are Only Part of the Picture
These online dating safety statistics can be discouraging for the average online dater. Learning about the dangers online dating can pose for your finances, personal safety, and heart can be scary enough to make you want to throw in the towel on the whole dating thing.
People who never date can be victims of sexual assault, and people who don’t date online can be tricked by partners. There’s no way to guarantee that danger won’t come for you and those you love. But that doesn’t mean you should stop putting yourself out there and looking for love.
At the same time, just because you could face danger in any situation doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take precautions. Knowing the risks and best practices can empower you to feel more capable in sketchy circumstances.
