This Gay Matchmaking Platform Puts True Compatibility First — But Doesn’t Sugarcoat the Truth

We hire therapists, personal trainers, and landscapers. We have primary doctors, dentists, and eye doctors. Even our mail carriers are appointed as part of a designated route. So, when it comes to dating, why does it just feel like a free-for-all?

For gay men, the journey is even more challenging. Think about the dating apps you know off the top of your head. How many are specifically designed for gay men? OK, yes, there’s Grindr. But let’s be honest: Its reputation mainly centers around hookups and casual encounters. 

There’s an entire market in the dating industry that’s being overlooked, leaving gay men who seek genuine connections at a disadvantage. If your friend Becky thinks it’s tough finding a match, imagine how much harder it is for them. 

That’s where Gayquation comes in — a service that redefines matchmaking for gay men by putting compatibility and connection first. 

We spoke with a Senior Matchmaker at Gayquation, who told us about the combination of art and science that goes into finding a genuine match, even if it’s outside their network. 

“For so many agencies, it’s about quota-filling — just projecting one client onto another without considering the true laws of attraction,” the spokesperson explained. “Any matchmaker will eventually saturate their pool. So early on, we decided not to limit our clients to the database. We headhunt outside our network to find better matches.”

That’s already a step further than most would go. 

Two Bottoms Don’t Make a Right

Gayquation knows that a great match goes beyond first impressions. Ever heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? The same applies here. Gayquation digs deeper, focusing on the laws of attraction to create meaningful connections.

“We realized we’d be doing a disservice by simply pairing two people because they’re both good guys with good careers. That’s like saying, ‘There are two panda bears, so let’s put them in a cave together.’ We don’t subscribe to that; we follow laws of attraction qualities first and foremost.”

None of it makes sense when you put it that way.

But when we talk about “laws of attraction,” we’re not talking about the 2004 rom-com with Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore. 

The spokesperson says the laws of attraction are the foundation of Gayquation’s process. What this involves is considering both individuals’ criteria and dealbreakers — things like politics, religion, and sexual roles are non-negotiable.

“Two bottoms don’t make a right,” said the spokesperson. “It doesn’t matter if they’re the greatest guys in the world. There’s no point going to the next phase if there are dealbreakers.”

Gayquation doesn’t just work within its database, either. Its team understands that your perfect match may not also be signed up for the service — which is where a little fun headhunting comes in.

The matchmaking process involves screening potential matches on platforms like OkCupid, LinkedIn, and Facebook. 

And that’s how Gayquation takes a different approach from traditional matchmakers — especially since, historically speaking, matchmaking was based on more surface-level things like money, culture, and education. 

Now it’s a lot more nuanced. And thank goodness for that. 

The Gayquation Process

Finding the right match starts with understanding yourself — your preferences, dealbreakers, and even the patterns in your dating past. That’s why Gayquation takes a tried and true — yet personal — approach.

“We’re analytical, but matchmaking needs the human element,” the spokesperson explained. “We’re still traditional in the sense that we match client to client, but a rigid approach just doesn’t work for us.”

To help clients clarify their preferences, Gayquation encourages them to reflect on their past relationships.

“It helps calibrate their physical barometer,” the spokesperson said. “We never use the word ‘picky.’ Instead, we use the word challenging because it’s the truth.”

Here’s how the Gayquation process works:

1. Choose Your Membership: Choose from eight monthly plans. Each offers different levels of service, ranging from basic matchmaking to more comprehensive packages that include coaching and add-ons, like Momentum. 
2. Complete a Questionnaire: Acting as a jumping-off point for your matchmaker, this is where “laws of attraction” come into play, including distance, age, physicality, and lifestyle traits. 
3. Meet Your Team: After the questionnaire, you’ll meet your Lead Matchmaker, along with his team, which includes a Junior or second Senior Matchmaker to assist (depending on your plan).
4.  Phone Interview: Chat with your team so they can get to know you better. They’ll ask questions about your background, dating past, criteria and needs, negotiable traits and dealbreakers, all to create a customized strategy moving forward. 
5. The Search Begins: One of the best parts about Gayquation is that it doesn’t only search within its database. Matchmakers will look for potential matches within your radius, even if they’re not signed up with Gayquation. Oh, and you’ll have a say the whole time with the match approval flow.

Matches are typically found within about 10 days. Once you’re introduced to a match, you can privately share feedback with the team. If it’s a success, then great! If not, no problem — your team will keep searching until the right match is found.

Gayquation has its own formula, of course. They call it the “333 Rule.” It acts as a dating guideline to help people understand the potential of a relationship over a specific time frame: 

1. Three Dates: After three dates, you should have a sense of whether there’s mutual attraction and interest.
2. Three Weeks: By this point, you should be communicating more and going on more dates, helping you gauge potential chemistry and compatibility.
3. Three Months: Within three months, you should be able to decide if the relationship is moving toward something serious or if it’s time to part ways amicably. 

It’s a fundamental way to avoid situationships when you’re looking for something long-term. 

Gayquation’s matchmakers may also recommend trying alternate methods. In fact, the service offers virtual mixers and speed dating events — so you can show your face from the comfort of your own home.

Hard Truths Lead to Bigger Wins

Unlike traditional matchmakers, Gayquation focuses on honest conversations. Yes — most people understand that dating isn’t just a walk in the park, but it’s important to really understand the situation.

“We estimate that only 1% of any population is typically gay, male, self-aware, and seeking a long-term relationship,” the spokesperson added. “The reality is, in the LGBT community, you’re going to have to put in more effort because of the lack of volume. It’s just the truth.”

Not to say that you should curl up with a pint of ice cream just yet. It’s just about setting realistic expectations. 

For example, a man looking for someone who makes $250,000, is over 6’1”, and has specific traits, like being a top, may not realize that aligns with only 0.1% of the population. 

Or people in smaller communities — say Boise — may need to widen their dating pool to include nearby regions, such as Seattle or Reno. 

“We don’t tell people to move, but we explain the market realities,” the spokesperson added. “Honesty in these conversations is key. About 80% to 90% of clients still sign up after consultations because they value our transparency.”

Not to say anyone should settle. Again, it’s just about the candid truth that your well-meaning friends and family may shy away from. 

When the straight community has most of the market exposed to them and only 5% of men identify as gay, it’s pretty jarring to consider just how small that pool really is. 

“Unlike traditional matchmakers who might gloss over these realities, we tackle them head-on,” the spokesperson said. 

But Gayquation wants to bring you some peace of mind. 

For instance, it uses internal tools like Optima Market Report to show clients where they fit within the dating landscape. It evaluates your market size and viability while integrating feedback from prospective matches, so your matchmaker can refine their approach when needed.

The best part? It’s available with all plans. 

“We’re humble enough to say we don’t know if we’re going to find you someone. We don’t guarantee love on the site — we guarantee introductions,” the spokesperson said. 

When I’m not writing about dating, I’m writing about tech, which means I’ve seen firsthand how technology transforms our lives. So what I love about Gayquation is how it balances tech and humanity. 

Because finding love isn’t always easy, but with data-driven insights (and some honesty), I think Gayquation proves it’s worth the effort.