LGBTQ+ Daters Want Safer, More Authentic Pride Spaces for Connection

Pride and dating have long gone hand-in-hand. But according to new research from LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi, many LGBTQ+ daters are rethinking how Pride fits into their romantic lives.

The app’s Pride survey found that while LGBTQ+ people still want connection, visibility, and community during Pride Month, many are becoming more selective about where and how they build those connections.

Although 62% say that Pride celebrations don’t affect their dating lives at all, 17% say they actually date less during Pride.

17% say they actually date less during Pride.

And 25% said Pride Month makes them feel less hopeful about finding a meaningful relationship, partly because Pride’s celebratory nature is not reality (14%) and partly because Pride highlights the gaps in representation in the community. 

As an ally, I’m not immune to the stereotypical depictions of Pride, which usually includes wild club atmospheres and late-night Grindr hook-ups. So I was surprised to learn that more and more Pride celebrants are choosing to stay single during June.

What is Pride without vacation flings, Fire Island romances, or one (or two, or three) night stands? The answer: It’s still Pride, but with increased demands for intentionality and authenticity, not to mention safer and more meaningful connections. 

Why Some Daters Are Pulling Back out of Exhaustion

So, what’s with the lack of romance? According to Taimi, there’s a growing sense of disillusionment with Pride within the LGBTQ+ community. It sounds cliche, but nothing throws a wet blanket on sex and romance quite like emotional disconnection. 

Case in point: 16% of respondents said that they feel less connected to Pride after the last 3-5 years, and 8% said they’ve actively distanced themselves from mainstream Pride. Part of the reason for this disillusionment is the increased pressure for LGBTQ+ community members to perform happiness during Pride. 

And performative happiness is a recipe for emotional fatigue — a killer to any brand or movement. It’s safe to say that Pride, for better and for worse, has become both. 

With American politics treating LGBTQ+ rights like a mere suggestion, it’s no wonder 41% say they've felt this kind of pressure during Pride before. Twenty-four percent say the current political climate makes them more cautious during Pride than they used to be.

For some LGBTQ+ daters, that caution extends to dating and socializing at Pride events themselves.

“People have complex identities,” one respondent told Taimi. “It’s not always easy to celebrate something that has caused social distress.” 

Pride Exclusion Leads to Isolation 

Taimi's report brings up vital groups that have long been overlooked by mainstream Pride: people in rural areas (29%); bisexual and pansexual people (27% ); and trans and non-binary communities (25%). Another 25% said that LGBTQ+ people of color are often excluded, too.

These gaps in representation are hard to ignore. How can dating professionals and platforms expect people to make connections during Pride if they’re not being accurately or effectively represented within Pride spaces?

The fact that 15% didn't hesitate to say that Pride has become a celebration solely of white, cisgender gay men, full stop, is also concerning. These stats might not come as a big shock to people within the LGBTQ+ community, but I was struck by just how many respondents feel overlooked by mainstream Pride. 

As a straight cis woman, I can only speak as an ally. But it seems to me that excluding identities from Pride, whether intentional or not, only complicates Pride’s longtime message: that differences are meant to be celebrated. 

Dating industry companies or professionals that want to celebrate Pride and encourage connections must do so with these gaps in mind. They have a unique opportunity to fill these gaps and make meaningful impacts in oft-overlooked groups. 

What LGBTQ+ Daters Want From Pride

When Taimi asked respondents to describe what they really want from Pride, the answers "felt surprisingly simple," according to the app.

Event planners and dating industry pros, listen up: Safety and inclusion were the top answers, with 37% saying that they want safer spaces with better security.

Another 29% want celebrations to highlight more specific identities, including bi and trans people. An equal share would welcome more low-key Pride events that are less about wild partying and more about authentic connection.

Meanwhile, 28% think future Pride events should sideline corporate sponsorship and retain the grassroots feel of Pride's earlier years. Another 27% want more Pride events in rural and suburban areas.

Taken together, the responses paint a picture of LGBTQ+ daters who aren't rejecting Pride. Rather, they're asking Pride organizers to evolve alongside the community itself.