It can be tricky to date the traditional way when you’ve got a powerful kink or fetish. The big question is: When do you bring up your desires? It may be considered taboo to lead with your kinks in the mainstream dating scene. But it’s frustrating to go on multiple dates only to find out that your potential partner has no interest in what gets your motor running.

Kinky dating apps and sites take the guesswork out of finding a compatible partner with similar interests. Instead of waiting for the right moment to ask or disclose, you can be upfront and trust that the people you’re talking to are being authentic. These niche dating platforms help users fly their freak flag as high as they want, while also providing a safe and secure atmosphere to avoid harassment and judgment.

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★★★★★ 4.8/5.0
  • Discreetly arranges one-night stands and extramarital affairs
  • More than 80 million profiles worldwide
  • Travel-friendly features for seeking matches in other cities

Ashley Madison caters to married people seeking affairs. But the discreet dating platform plays host to both single and married members of the kink community looking for someone to help fulfill a specific desire. In fact, one of the many reasons married people join Ashley Madison is to indulge in a kink or fetish that their partner won’t. As the site’s membership continues to grow, finding an understanding, kink-friendly partner is easy, whatever your relationship status.

Ashley Madison also provides a discreet venue for exploring your darkest desires, in a judgment-free atmosphere. Photo blurring, anonymous user names, and profile screening help kinksters browse securely and avoid being outed, whether they’re married or single. 

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★★★★★ 4.7/5.0

Adult Friend Finder (AFF) has a long history with the online kink community and remains one of the most popular platforms for singles, swingers, and couples seeking sexy adventures. The site fosters an open-minded community, where users feel free to post erotic stories, photos, and videos while looking for the right partner or partners to fulfill their fantasies.

AFF members can get to know each other in chats and forums on the site, sharing their ideas and getting to know each other before taking things to a more private setting. That privacy does come with a cost, however. Only Gold members can send and receive private messages, but you also gain access to other perks, such as automatic browser history clearing and live video content with your subscription.

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★★★★★ 4.8/5.0
  • A global network of naughty singles over 18
  • Ability to blur nude and explicit content, if desired
  • Advanced search filters and one-on-one messaging

BeNaughty is a hookup site that’s all about letting your freak flag fly. The dating site encourages its freewheeling users to post spicy content from photos and videos to stories, so you’ll get an eyeful everywhere you look. BeNaughty also makes it easy to get a conversation started, with chat rooms where users can congregate and connect with potential partners.

BeNaughty keeps things lighthearted and judgment-free. And for kinksters who want to keep their sex lives private, the platform offers additional security features, including photo blurring and browser history clearing, though you’ll need a premium membership for access. 

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★★★★★ 4.5/5.0

OneNightFriend caters to the hookup crowd, including many kinksters and fetishists. The anonymous nature of the platform makes it an easy choice for the kink community. All you need to sign up is a valid email address, and you can get down to finding the right partner for your wildest desires.

Since OneNightFriend doesn’t use the most robust verification system, you’ll have to do more leg work to avoid fake profiles. But you can send and receive up to five messages per day for free, and even send out a Flirtcast to save time.

5. Tinder

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★★★★ 4.4/5.0
  • The dating app of choice for millions of sexually active singles
  • Accelerating the dating process through swiping
  • Has led to over 97 billion mutual matches

Tinder isn’t every kinkster’s go-to platform, but the swipe-based dating app is massively popular overall. That makes it a good venue for finding the right kinky partner, especially if you want to keep things casual to start. 

Tinder filters make it easy to find potential partners within a local area. Put your kinks in your bio and swipe right on the users that match your preferences. Once you have a mutual match with a fellow kinkster, you can chat them up on an unlimited basis. A free membership on Tinder goes a long way, particularly if casual sex is your goal.

6. KinkD

KinkD is all about bringing together kinky people who share interests, which is why the dating app puts kinks at the forefront. You can select the kinks that appeal to you, including footwear, BDSM, sensation play, and various roleplaying fetishes as part of the signup process.

KinkD Platform Connects Singles Through Shared Fetishes in the Bedroom
The KinkD community liberates kinksters to enjoy new sexual experiences.

KinkD uses a robust identity verification system because it prioritizes safety, and privacy features keep user identities and personal information discreet.

The platform welcomes singles and couples alike, and with around 2 million active members, there are plenty of potential partners to choose from.

7. FetLife

FetLife is one of the longest-running kink communities on the internet, and it still attracts plenty of new members every month. The completely free site operates more as a social network where fetishists and kinksters can find each other, rather than a dating app. But by putting your kinks out there and engaging in the community, it’s easy to find a like-minded partner.

Past issues with leaks and security led to ID verification systems, so FetLife is one of the more secure fetish and kink dating sites today.

8. Pure

The Pure app caters to people seeking low-key hookups, and the anonymous personal ad platform is a natural place for kinksters to mix and mingle. Pure encourages users to be honest (even explicit) about what they’re looking for, and content moderation is minimal, so you can describe exactly what you desire. 

Pure logo
Pure is a judgment-free app for casual encounters and chatting.

Because Pure keeps everyone anonymous, and ads disappear after 24 hours, users don’t have to worry about being outed as kinksters. The judgment-free atmosphere keeps things light and fun.

9. Feeld

Although Feeld is best for polyamorous singles and couples, the app’s emphasis on honesty and open-minded dating makes it a hub for the kink community. The app encourages users to be upfront about what they want, whether it’s a third person in the bedroom or a particular kink or fetish. 

“Where open-minded meets like-minded” is the Feeld slogan, and its inclusive features and tools make the platform a popular choice for the kink community.

FAQs: Are Kinky Dating Apps Safe?

Our dating experts judge that kinky dating apps are just as safe as mainstream dating apps and sites. Of course, some kinky apps are more secure than others. The best kinky dating platforms use robust verification systems and have advanced security features. For instance, Ashley Madison has photo blurring and masking as well as a discreet payment option to help protect privacy online.

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★★★★ 4.0/5.0

Not every dating platform (kink-oriented or otherwise) is committed to ensuring safety and privacy. That opens the door for fake profiles, scammers, and abusive content. If safety is your primary concern, you might have better luck sticking with a mainstream site or app that is friendly to the kink community, such as OkCupid

Do Apps Like Fet and Kinkoo Actually Work?

Yes and no. Apps like Fet and Kinkoo do actually work for some people. They’re small, very niche platforms geared to the kink community, so the users are typically very dedicated and interested in meeting people who share their passions.

The downside is that these platforms are small. So if you don’t live in a major city, you’re far less likely to find someone closeby enough to make it worth your effort. 

When it comes to niche dating apps, that’s the common trade-off. More of the users are likely to share your interests, but the overall number of users is smaller, and the odds of users being local to you are smaller still.

What Is the Best Dating Platform for BDSM Singles?

If your kinks are BDSM-centric, then trying a niche dating platform can make a lot of sense. Sites like BondagePal and BDSMDate cater to folks who are looking specifically for partners within the specific subset of BDSM, so you’re more likely to find someone who has the same specific interests as you. On the other hand, the user bases on these niche sites tend to be much smaller.

If you want to maximize your chances of meeting a local person, a larger dating pool may serve better than a niche app. Sex seekers can use search filters to narrow the results on a larger platform like FriendFinder-X.

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★★★★★ 4.5/5.0
  • A casual personals site for singles, couples, and groups
  • Profiles have suggestive photos and strip tease videos
  • Chat live via a two-way webcam or private messaging

FriendFinder-X is a popular hookup site funded by the FriendFinder Network. The site allows you to search by specific kinks, including BDSM, so you can focus your efforts on people who are more likely to share your interests while still benefiting from the larger user base.

Meet Your Fantasy Match on a Kink App

Whether you dream of a session on a St. Andrew’s cross or have a lengthy wish list at an adult toy shop, kinky dating apps and sites are a great way to mix things up. They can help you connect with other kink enthusiasts and find the right partner to bring your fantasies to life. These platforms let users be authentic, while also giving them the option to keep their private lives private.

Find the right kink app and start making your secret fantasies come true!

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