The Scoop: Killing Kittens supports a diverse and inclusive dating community that sends a sex-positive message to women. Since its launch in 2005, the brand has created a safe space where women can follow their desires and explore their sexuality. The members-only events and private social network have challenged archaic gender roles that portray men as sexual aggressors and women as sexual kittens. Killing Kittens brings a healthier perspective to the dating scene by giving women greater control over their sexual experiences.
Emma Sayle was just a child when she first rejected the patriarchy. While growing up in the Middle East and attending boarding school in England, she heard a lot about what good little girls could and couldn’t do — climbing trees was a no; sitting very still in an uncomfortable dress was a yes — and she couldn’t accept the double standard in society’s expectations for men and women.
“I remember from an early age thinking, ‘If boys can do it, why can’t I?” Emma said. “As I got older, I saw different treatment in sex and dating as well.”
In her 20s, Emma recognized the unfair and toxic culture surrounding the mainstream dating scene. Single men who slept around were called players, charmers, and sex gods. Single women who slept around were called sluts — and worse things.
Emma decided to take action to support womankind in the dating scene. She aimed to lead a movement toward sexual liberation and disabuse people of the notion that women are powerless, helpless sex kittens. And Killing Kittens was born.
The Killing Kittens brand launched in 2005 and became a leader in the women’s sexual revolution in the U.K. and abroad. The organization immediately drew the public’s attention with its sex-positive mission and women-led sex parties. Today, its portfolio includes sex-ed workshops, a dating app, and an online store with limited edition tops and accessories.
Killing Kittens invites people to let go of their inhibitions and reject gender stereotypes in the dating world — because a woman can do anything a man can do, including seek casual sex.
“I wanted to create a place, online and offline, where women are very much in control,” Emma said. “Women can chat without being judged and explore their sexuality in a safe space.”
Members-Only Parties & Sex Education Workshops
Killing Kittens started with a sex party at an estate in the U.K., and it became an international phenomenon. The company has hosted members-only social events in London, Berlin, Miami, New York City, Los Angeles, and Sydney, among other places. All attendees wear masks that cover their faces and keep their identity secret as they mix and mingle in a stimulating atmosphere.
Typically, the downstairs area will have entertainment and refreshments for the guests, while the upstairs provides access to sexual playrooms. The rooms come stocked with sex toys, candles, and decor to satisfy all types of pleasure seekers. There is even a dungeon room run by a dominatrix who can walk beginners through light BDSM play.
“It’s a free space where women feel comfortable and empowered,” Emma explained. “If they feel like having sex, they can. But only if they want to — it’s never an expectation. Lots of people come and keep their clothes on.”
Due to COVID-19 health restrictions, Killing Kittens has had to pause its in-person events for over a year. However, Emma said she is hopeful that they can get back in the swing of things in the coming months. In the meantime, online sex classes and virtual sex parties can keep members engaged in the conversation about sex positivity. The workshops tackle a broad range of topics, including sensual massages, nude live drawing, and BDSM.
Killing Kittens currently has over 180,000 members of all ages and backgrounds. It’s a good mix of college students, single professionals, divorcees, and swinging couples, and all of them have different reasons for going on a sexual journey.
Don’t mistake Killing Kittens as a women-only space. The community is about 50% men, and its male members are just as passionate about equality as the female members are.
“We attract men who want women to be equal in the bedroom,” Emma said. “It’s not men-bashing or men-hating. We love men. We just want women to have as big a voice in the bedroom as men do.”
The events hosted by Killing Kittens can help men and women escape the pressures of mainstream society and pursue hedonistic pleasures on their terms.
Apps Power Adult Socializing on Equal Footing
Not all Killing Kittens members are in the community for sex parties and events. Some are content to learn, browse, and flirt online, and that’s what the Killing Kittens app is all about.
Emma described the platform as “Bumble meets Facebook meets Whatsapp” because its social discovery features allow users to chat, date, and make friends in a judgment-free space. Women are the move-makers on the app — they have the freedom to send likes and messages at their discretion. Men on the app (aka Toms) can only get in touch if contacted or invited by a woman first.
By becoming Kommunity Kittens, women can explore open-ended relationships and find their voice in the online dating scene. Members can even purchase tickets to Killing Kittens events through the app.
“There’s something for everyone here,” Emma said. “We have created an adult safe-for-work platform, meaning you have sex stories and sex education without crossing the line to porn.”
Killing Kittens recently launched the SafeDate app to help online daters have greater peace of mind when arranging meetups with a stranger. The app connects a network of Safe Mates who are prompted to check in with individuals after their scheduled dates.
Thanks to its culture of innovation, Killing Kittens has established one of the fastest-growing social networks in the feminist space. The community platform connects women of every race, creed, and sexual orientation, and it uses smart technology to spark lively discussions and romantic connections around the world.
Looking ahead, Emma said she plans to build on the company’s success by continuing to develop webinars, events, and online tools that send a sex-positive message.
“The main thing to us is mainstreaming conversation that sex is perfectly normal,” Emma said. “You should look after your sexual well-being in the same way you look after your mental well-being and physical well-being.”
Killing Kittens Has Liberated Over 180,000 Members So Far
Emma has been fighting the good feminist fight for decades now, and she’s not slowing down. She created the Killing Kittens brand to push back against slut-shaming and support healthy female sexuality.
Whether a woman is looking for sex education or a sexual adventure, she will enjoy a warm welcome in the Killing Kittens community.
Over the last 16 years, Killing Kittens has helped spread a sex-positive message throughout the dating world. The company started with in-person events for sexually active adults, and now the platform has expanded to add virtual tools and resources, including a fully functional dating app.
“The tech side is very exciting because it’s constantly evolving,” Emma said. “There’s not much time to sit back. I still have a lot of people to prove wrong, so there’s still a long way to go.”