While many singles feel sad about attending holiday gatherings solo, couples have their own set of holiday woes. We surveyed more than 1,000 Americans to see how they feel about planning holiday time. Some are stressed about keeping their families happy, some are worried about the financial strain, and others decided to cut out time with their extended family altogether.
In the end, the benefits might outweigh the stress — only 13% of couples decide to spend their time separately.
39% of Americans Feel Relationships Complicate Holidays
In some ways, holidays create family bonding time, and in other ways, they cause tension. Nearly 2 in 5 (39%) of survey respondents said being in a relationship has made the holidays more complicated, and 1 in 3 dread planning how they will split time with extended family.
Whether they’re sad to miss family traditions or uncomfortable around them, 1 in 4 said they dread going to their in-laws for the holidays. Nearly 10% even report crying over the stress of spending the holidays with their partner’s parents.
The stress goes beyond extended family — 24% of respondents said holiday plans cause tension between them and their partners. The top causes of stress cited were:
- Dealing with family dynamics
- Splitting time between families
- Financial strain
Nearly 1 in 4 (23%) said they feel guilty or pressured about holiday plans, and 31% have even changed plans at the last minute to accommodate one side of the family. Some cut the stress out directly: 39% said they have skipped holiday gatherings to avoid complicated situations, and 12% believe they will do so during the 2024 holidays.
“Holiday celebrations should be joyous occasions, but they can be logistically challenging and stressful for a number of reasons,” said Amber Brooks Editor-in-Chief at DatingNews.com. “Whether you’re traveling to see family or hosting out-of-towners, you may feel frazzled, but it’s worth the effort to make family memories and share quality time over the holidays.”
38% of Americans Split Holiday Time Evenly
While half of Americans surveyed said they split holiday time with extended families, only 38% said they split that time evenly. Several factors determine how couples split their time between families. Family traditions, prioritizing based on distance, rotating each year, and just hosting themselves are among the top ways holiday time gets split.
Of those who celebrate, just about half of respondents (48%) said they split seeing extended families on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Hosting is an attractive option for those who are willing to splurge. The 34% who prefer to host the holidays spend an average of $1,110.
Nearly 4 in 5 (78%) compromise with their partner about holiday plans, and 1 in 10 said it makes them resent their partner. Compromises and resentment can be a recipe for arguments — 1 in 5 have fought with their significant other over holiday plans.
While 13% spend the holidays separately from their partner, 63% do so to prioritize time with their families.
“If you are engaged or married, I wouldn’t recommend celebrating holidays separately more than once,” Brooks said. “It’s important to spend quality time with your partner and create your own traditions.”
How Finances and Children Impact the Holidays
Splitting time is only one stressor during the holiday months. Some are concerned about spending money on holiday gifts and travel. More than 3 in 5 (65%) of Americans said their financial situation influences their holiday plans, and 1 in 5 have fought with their partner over holiday spending.
Children can throw additional tensions into the mix: 38% said kids lead to more gatherings with extended family. But some prefer smaller, intimate gatherings, with 19% thinking their extended family doesn’t respect their family’s holiday time.
In conclusion, the holiday season blends stress with joy due to relationship dynamics, financial strain, and family expectations. While most couples try to find a balance, 1 in 4 people dread spending time with their in-laws, and a significant number of respondents admit to changing plans last minute or skipping family gatherings altogether.
Ultimately, despite the challenges, many still prioritize family bonding and tradition. The complexities of holiday planning are simply part of life!
Methodology
In November 2024, we surveyed 1,007 Americans who are currently in a relationship, engaged, married, or in a civil union about how they split time between their families during the holidays. Among respondents, 49% were men, 50% were women, and 1% were nonbinary. Respondents ranged in age from 19 to 86 with an average age of 41. For media inquiries, contact media@datingnews.com.
