Finding love is priceless, but the journey there can be tough. It’s no secret that money plays a role in relationships, from first dates to forever. We surveyed American singles and those in relationships to learn more about the financial realities of love, from splitting the bill on a date to opening a joint account with your partner.
Our data shows that the majority of Americans believe it’s crucial to talk about finances, but many don’t feel comfortable doing so.
Relationships & Finances: 35% Hide Purchases from Partner
For those currently in relationships, 69% of those surveyed believe financial independence is key to a happy partnership. However, not all couples are being truthful about their finances.
More than 1 in 4 (26%) survey respondents admit they’ve lied about their financial situation to a partner, 35% have lied about how much they spent on something, and 12% have opened a secret credit card or bank account behind their partner’s back.
When it comes to debt, 1 in 10 have debts their partner doesn’t know about, 35% of respondents admit to having hid a purchase from their partner, and 1 in 10 say they don’t feel comfortable discussing debts with their partner. Additionally, nearly 1 in 5 say they’re resentful of their partner’s spending habits.
Despite this, 99% of respondents who are currently in a relationship say they believe it is crucial to talk about finances in a relationship. And yet, 1 in 10 say they don’t feel comfortable talking about money.
Balancing Love, Money, and Disagreements in Relationships
Financial stability is a major factor influencing relationships, as 63% of respondents say their partner’s financial stability is very important to them. Women place a slightly higher emphasis on this at 67%, while 59% of men believe their partner’s financial stability is very important.
Money can be a tough subject for anyone, and among respondents in relationships, 23% report having disagreements about finances with their partner at least once a month. In fact, 45% say financial disagreements have caused a strain in their relationships.
For some, it can be too much, as nearly 1 in 10 report ending a relationship due to financial arguments. A possible reason for tension could be because more than 1 in 3 (35%) respondents say they’ve felt judged by their partner due to their financial situation.
For those currently in relationships, the average person says they’re willing to spend up to $800 on their partner’s birthday. When it comes to expenses, 1 in 3 couples split things equally. The majority (82%) report running purchases of $500 or more by their partner.
Nearly 3 in 5 (58%) respondents say they first discussed finances with their partner before they moved in together. For those who currently live with their partners, 50% report splitting the rent or mortgage evenly.
How Singles Navigate Dating Costs
In our survey of singles, we found the average American single spends $80 a month on dating-related expenses. According to respondents, 48% usually split the bill on dates, and 36% believe it’s outdated for men to pay for dates in 2024.
Not everyone wants to be shelling out money to find love: 1 in 2 singles try to plan free dates to avoid spending money, and 28% say they’ve stopped dating in the past year to cut down on expenses. The majority (54%) said they believe dating in 2024 is too expensive.
Nearly 1 in 2 singles say they’ve felt pressure to spend more money on dates than they’re comfortable with. This may be part of the reason 1 in 5 admit to postponing or canceling a date due to financial reasons.
Among those who pay for premium dating app subscriptions, on average, they spend $27 per month to swipe.
Love and Judgment: 23% of Singles Lie About Their Finances
For some people looking for love, certain things are immediate red flags. Among respondents, 1 in 3 say they wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t have any savings, and 27% wouldn’t date someone whose financial habits significantly differed from theirs.
Over half (52%) of respondents have felt judged by a date due to their financial situation, and 23% admit to lying about their finances.
Money is a topic that can make or break relationships. Among singles, 84% think financial compatibility is important when considering a partner. While 93% of singles believe it is crucial to talk about finances in a relationship, 1 in 5 say they don’t feel comfortable doing so.
While discussing money can be awkward or stressful, it’s worth it to lay everything out with your potential partner.
“Financial issues are among the most common reasons for divorce, so it’s worth talking about finances early in the dating process to get on the same page about your financial goals and spending habits,” said Amber Brooks, relationship expert and Editor-in-Chief at DatingNews.com.
These conversations aren’t always easy, but being open about your financial habits and expectations will help create a strong foundation for your relationship in the future.
Methodology
In May 2024, we surveyed 502 self-reporting singles and 500 people who are currently in relationships about the role money plays in love. Among singles, 45% of respondents were female, 51% were male, and 4% were nonbinary or would rather not say. The average age of singles surveyed was 34. Among those in relationships, 50% identified as women, 48% as men, and 2% as nonbinary or would rather not say. The average age of partnered individuals was 42.
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