The Scoop: Stereotypes abound about the women who work in nightlife, but they aren’t always true. We spoke with the women who work for Bad Girl Productions – a stripping agency focused on bachelor parties – about their relationship experiences as strippers. While every stripper is different, many maintain long-term, committed relationships outside of work.
When most people think of strippers, they imagine glammed up, flirty, and hyper-sexual women constantly surrounded by men. That’s understandable, and it can be true for some women on the job. A major part of the job of a stripper is to maintain a sexed-up persona while at work. It allows patrons to slip into the fantasy – and for the strippers to make the most money.
But for many strippers, the person they are on the job is not the person they are in real life. While they may pretend to be promiscuous while at work, many are in exclusive relationships at home or prefer a quieter personal life. Some still prefer to maintain a spontaneous, party lifestyle in their personal lives, but by no means is that the only option. Just like people working in any other industry, strippers have a wide variety of lifestyles when off the clock.
The women who work at Bad Girl Productions spoke to us about their dating lives and their unique perspectives as strippers in the industry.
The Bad Girl agency has both male and female strippers in locations across the country who specialize in bachelor parties and other private events. We spoke to several women who strip through the agency, as well as their CEO Liz, to learn a little bit more about what dating while employed by Bad Girl Productions is like.
“I would say that this job takes a lot out of you mentally and physically,” Chantel, a dancer based in Phoenix, AZ, told us. “So whoever I personally date needs to understand from the beginning that who I am while I’m working is not who I am at home. At work we are acting and putting on a show, it’s a lot easier to fake things than to actually feel.”
Behaving Badly…on the Clock
The strippers at Bad GIrl Productions adopt the persona of “bad girls” to perform well at their jobs. They play up their good-time act, so that their clients enjoy their attention and sex appeal. While playing the part of the stripper isn’t necessarily natural for all the women, many of them say they enjoy their work. “I enjoy putting on a show with eyes on me,” Chantel said. “Obviously, majority of us do this for the money flow, but I also thoroughly enjoy expressing my inner sex kitten. This job allows you to be a completely different person which I also think is fun.”
Most women in the stripping industry chose their work to make money fast. “I love that I get to employ dancers so that they can put themselves through college, support a loved one, or travel the world,” CEO Liz said. “This makes me happy. We make a lot of money working part-time.”
For most women who strip, the cash flow they earn through their work allows them the financial freedom to pursue other passions and be a breadwinner.
Allison, a dancer from Austin, Texas, certainly does not match the stereotypical flirty personality of a stripper. She is in a committed marriage and wasn’t active in the party scene prior to starting out as a stripper. But she has found liberation in stripping in both her finances and physical safety.
“I had $25,000 in debt and wanted to start getting my finances in better order,” she said. “At the same time, I had a stalker, and I couldn’t afford to take all necessary measures to protect myself and my family members against that threat. Once I started dancing, I was able to pay off all my debt and I was able to take a defensive handgun training course to protect myself.”
Women get into stripping for many different reasons, most of them financial. But their line of work never captures their full personality and choices at home. “I find many of the girls who work for me put on the act that they are outgoing, flirty, and sexually active,” Liz said. “That is part of their job title to appear that way. Yet, many of those girls are not that way in real life.”
The Struggle for Serious Partners
Finding a man who is ready to commit is hard enough. But the women at Bad Girl Productions say they have an additional hurdle to jump in trying to find a quality partner: their line of work. Many men say they are unwilling to date a woman who works in nightlife.
When Liz was younger, she found that stereotypes about strippers made finding a serious partner very difficult, and often left her with hurt feelings. “Guys would date me as Bad Girl Liz in hopes to get to my other Bad Girls or in hopes to have a sexcapade on one of my adventures with my friends,” she said. “There was always a knot in my stomach when I told them what I did or who I was. They guys would say dumb things like, ‘When can I meet your friends?’ or they would accuse me of being a sex worker.”
Strippers also face the dilemma of whether to disclose their line of work immediately when pursuing a potential partner. When Chantel met her current boyfriend, she said she decided to tell him everything about her job on the first date. “You lose all your credibility when you get caught lying about what we do,” she said. “I would rather be straight up from the get-go so the man can decide if he wants to stay or go, versus it coming out a year later. Then it causes all types of trust issues and problems.”
While finding a good man may be harder as a stripper, all three of the women we talked to are currently in committed relationships. Allison is married, Liz is engaged, and Chantel has a serious boyfriend. Though serious partners may still have some discomfort with their jobs, the right man will put his ego aside and trust and respect his partner, no matter her profession.
People dating a stripper for the first time have a lot to learn about the industry and what the job entails. It can be intimidating. But by coming from a place of curiosity and support, they can make sure that their partner is respected and that communication stays open. “Ask good questions,” Liz advised. “Most strippers are doing that job to move themselves further up the financial or educational ladder. Ask questions that start with ‘why.'”
Every Bad Girl has a Story
While the women we spoke to say they love the stripper lifestyle and the fun they derive from their career, they also acknowledged the hardships that led them to work in nightlife. Stripping offers a way for women to pull themselves out of financial hardship and chase their future goals. “The money and free time have always been the major bonuses of this job,” Allison said. “I was able to get certified as a yoga instructor and eventually started saving for my future and investing in Roth IRAs for both me & my husband.”
Stripping offers a solid option for women trying to gain control of their finances in an economy where women make less money than men for the same work and have a harder time progressing in their careers. “Stripping is a career where you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time, without years of education, or years of climbing a corporate ladder,” Liz said. “Strippers can get hired right away because they look good, take care of themselves, and act professionally. They can get in, do the job, and make rent in one night.”
The desire for financial freedom is by no means exclusive to strippers. Their goals in life are usually more similar to those of the average man or woman than most men realize. They just want to make good money, do what they love, and in many cases, find a partner who sees them for the multidimensional people they are.
Those who are lucky enough to find themselves in a serious relationship with a stripper will find it to be a unique and rewarding experience. “Strippers are fiercely independent,” Liz said. “They’re strong-willed, passionate, they take great care of themselves, and most importantly – they know how to have fun.”