People don’t hire personal trainers because they can’t work out on their own or because they don’t know where to go to exercise — they do it because it’s helpful to have someone rooting them on and telling them the best ways to get fit. A professional can show you the ropes and save you the stress and hassle of figuring it out by yourself.
Along the same lines, single men and women hire dating coaches to support and encourage them as they navigate the modern dating scene. A professional dating coach instructs singles on how to maximize their romantic opportunities on the web and in person, so they become more effective and self-assured from the first date and beyond. Whether you’re an inexperienced dater or a recent divorcee, you can benefit from the hands-on guidance of a dating coach.
Sure, you could do it on your own, but you might waste time on ineffective techniques or get hurt trying something without someone there to spot you. A professional coach can motivate you to believe in yourself, put in the work, and get the results you desire. Below, we’ve outlined eight good reasons to hire a dating coach and get your love life into shape.
1. Gain Confidence by Talking to Someone Who’s Been There
If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s going to be hard to attract dates and build healthy relationships. That’s why many dating coaches focus on building self-esteem as the first step to becoming an irresistible dater. Working with a dating coach can help singles feel more confident in every aspect of their lives, and that success carries over into the dating scene.
Some dating coaches cater their services to certain types of singles, including seniors, shy men, career-oriented women, and LGBTQ daters, and uplift these groups with messages that resonate with them. For singles over 50, that message could be “It’s never too late to date again.” For introverted men, it could be “You’re worthy of love.” Dating coaches take the time to get to know their clients on a personal level, so they can offer sage advice to address their unique challenges.
It’s important to love yourself before you can love someone else, and a dating coach can teach you how to do that, if you don’t already.
Singles often feel more confident in their abilities after talking with a dating coach. One-on-one coaching sessions provide practical solutions and motivation for daters of all backgrounds.
“Creating confidence happens in a cycle, and it requires intentional action,” said Dating With Dignity CEO Marni Battista in an interview. “You can’t think your way out of your fears, or you would have already been successful.”
2. Practice Your Moves on Mock Dates
Not all dating coaches do this, but the ones who do often see their clients improve by leaps and bounds. A mock date with the dating coach or a hired actor is a helpful exercise designed to get singles feeling more comfortable and confident in dating situations. After all, practice makes perfect.
The New York Dating Coach team arranges 30-minute mock dates with clients, so the coach can see their conversational styles, body language, flirtatious techniques, and other date behaviors firsthand. After the mock date, the coaches provide specific feedback on the client’s strengths and weaknesses.
“The best part about the program is that it avoids pat canned routines, opening lines and incomprehensible ‘social interaction’ flow charts,” said Michele S., a New York Dating Coach client.
3. Get Actionable Strategies & Homework to Help You Succeed
Dating coaching isn’t about talking — it’s about doing. An experienced dating coach will often pair insightful coaching sessions with actionable takeaways, so singles are learning and applying those lessons to the real world. Many dating coaches will devise step-by-step plans to get a single man or woman into a relationship.
Sometimes the homework can be as simple as texting someone you like or giving a stranger a compliment. Other times, dating coaches will push their clients to go outside their comfort zones and practice flirtatious techniques at a bar or an online dating site.
Your work with a dating coach doesn’t end after your one-hour sessions are up — he or she will give you things to try in your daily life to reach the goals you want to reach.
The job of a dating coach is to provide useful tips and actionable strategies to attract date prospects in any setting. You don’t speculate about what works for active daters — you go out and see what works for you. According to YourTango experts, “A dating and relationship coach will help you shift perspectives, open up to a different way of being, and guide you toward your heart’s desire.”
4. Hone Your Dating Profile With the Help of an Outside Eye
Online dating is an undeniable part of the modern dating scene. According to a 2016 Pew Research Center poll, 30% of American singles who have never been married have used a dating site or dating app. That number has steadily grown as the stigma of meeting on a dating site has diminished.
Many dating coaches have recognized this growing shift in the dating world and offer personalized assistance for online daters. They can proofread profiles, screen messages, and provide tips to help singles put their best foot forward on a dating site. Some coaches even act as a modern-day Cyrano de Bergerac, composing introduction messages and responses for clients on a dating site.
Singles who are new to online dating can look like seasoned pros by consulting with a dating coach. Every word and photo on your dating profile says something about you, and it’s important to get these things right. Dating coach and matchmaker Rachel Greenwald compared having a bad profile picture on a dating site to “looking for a job with a poorly written resumé.” Having an unbiased professional look over your dating profile and make recommendations can help you look your best while flirting online.
From which dating site to join to what profile picture to upload, dating coaches can offer guidance on a variety of aspects of online dating. That way, modern singles feel equipped to tackle this new medium.
5. Learn About Relationships in a Safe Environment
Talking to a dating coach can help you get clarity on romance, flirtation, and social interactions, and it can also reveal aspects of your personality and how it impacts your dating life. Some dating coaches have backgrounds in therapy or psychology, so they excel at asking tough questions and unearthing underlying issues. Some singles come away from in-depth coaching sessions feeling more in tune with what they want and how to get it.
In your sessions with a dating coach, you can feel 100% comfortable being yourself and expressing your joys and concerns.
Dating coach Mark Rosenfeld said he applauds singles who take the time and effort to invest in themselves and their relationship goals. “It shows they’re an action taker,” he said. “In a society that told them finding a fulfilling relationship should be effortless and that asking for help is shameful, they’ve had the courage to take chance out of the equation.”
6. Have a Wingman (or Wingwoman) Accompany You to Social Gatherings
The wingman/wingwoman service is another niche package in dating coaching. Not every dating coach will provide this service. Mostly because not all dating coaches live in close proximity to their clients.
However, some local dating coaches will accompany their clients to a bar, an event, or other social situations where a wingman could come in handy. Most of the time, the dating coach will go undercover, acting like a friend, and scout out dating opportunities. Sometimes the wingman or wingwoman will make the introduction themselves; sometimes they’ll stay on the sidelines as an observer and support system. Either way, it’s a definite confidence booster to have a knowledgeable person there to guide you.
The Professional Wingman, an up-and-coming dating consultancy, prepares clients to become more successful in the dating world by going out with them and helping them approach and woo potential dates in the real world. The team’s goal is to empower individuals to land dates on their own and feel comfortable navigating social situations.
7. Discover How to Break Bad Dating Habits
Sometimes singles repeat the same dating mistakes over and over again without realizing what’s going wrong. Maybe they’re drawn to dysfunctional people. Maybe their jealous behaviors push partners away. Maybe they bail whenever things start to get serious. Whatever the recurring issue, dating coaches know how to zero in on it, and sometimes just pointing it out can help singles start to change.
“Clients seek my help because they have found themselves stuck in a pattern that keeps them from finding and keeping love,” said dating and relationship coach Jess McCann. “I help them diagnose exactly what they are doing wrong by listening to their unique stories.”
Sometimes we can’t see the bad habits we have, but an outside perspective can show us.
After listening to your dating history, an experienced dating coach can usually spot the weak points and offer advice on how to pick more compatible dates, show affection in healthy ways, and encourage the relationship to develop.
A dating coach holds singles accountable and makes sure they don’t repeat bad dating behaviors in the future.
8. A Support System Will Carry You Through Highs & Lows
Dating can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster of soaring hopes and plunging regrets. A single person can go on a date thinking “Maybe this time things will work out” and come away wondering why they even bother. It’s rough. And it’s easy to believe you’re the only one feeling this way or going through these challenges. However, a dating coach can tell you with certainty that you’re not alone and that there is hope at the end of the tunnel.
Some dating coaches encourage clients to call or text them before or after their dates, so they can vent or gush or talk out their feelings. Lisa Copeland https://www.findaqualityman.com/, a dating coach for single women over 50, said her clients have access to her 24 hours a day and seven days a week.
“Lisa’s guidance was like a GPS to help me navigate through the scary underworld of dating,” said Nancy K. in a testimonial.
Such a reliable support system helps singles feel optimistic about their chances of meeting someone special.
A Professional Dating Coach Can Help You Work Things Out
Some singles want to believe that dating is effortless, romance just happens, and a storybook love will fall into their laps. In reality, few can land a dream date by accident. Good results don’t just happen — you make them happen. Successfully wooing someone and pursuing a relationship is hard work, and not everyone feels confident facing such a challenge by themselves. Sometimes, it’s nice to have someone sharing the burden and offering advice along the way.
A dating coach can motivate singles to improve themselves and tackle dating obstacles by using proven techniques. “How do we know what we’re doing wrong in our dating lives?” asks a CNN article. “Outsourcing is part of our culture — yet we feel we can tackle the dating thing on our own. Why?”
If you have a question about how to approach a date or need help getting started on a dating site, don’t sweat it — a professional can walk you through everything you need to know to succeed. A dating coach can’t do everything for you, but he or she can give you the tools to reach your dating goals and cheer you on as you work toward the love life you want.
