The Scoop: Therapy isn’t every couple’s cup of tea. But that’s OK because there are other helpful resources out there that have the same impact as a one-on-one session. Authors Susie and Otto Collins co-wrote a new book, “Big Fat Love,” to transform and nurture relationships back to health. Susie and Otto share their thoughts on how opening your heart, soul, and mind can lead you to an endless of amazing possibilities for your relationship.
A lot of people associate the happiest moments in their relationship to the beginning –– the cupcake phase. But what if I told you that the cupcake phase doesn’t have to be just a phase at all? Regardless of the ups and downs, healthy relationships — where the cheesy pickup lines and spontaneous date nights are never-ending — do still exist . And thanks to co-authors Susie and Otto Collins, their new book, “Big Fat Love: The Book of Possibilities,” has helped couples reach a new level in their relationships.
Before they became a joining force in 1997, Susie and Otto were in previous marriages and had to quickly learn to be upfront with one another. Susie shared that they agreed to be spiritual partners and that helped them be on the same page from the get-go. Being upfront and vocal about the things you want in a relationship is a key piece of advice Susie and Otto give their clients.
Lack of communication is one of the primary reasons people get a divorce nowadays.
Throughout their book, the authors dive into how couples can have a deeper connection by learning strong communication styles and techniques.
“Listening is absolutely the most important thing you can do to help somebody feel important in a relationship and feel respected,” said Susie. “I’ve seen it time and time again, where somebody softens because they feel listened to.”
Taking the Struggle Out of Love and Life
Just because you’ve never witnessed a healthy relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have one. Susie told us that a lot of people grow up never seeing a healthy relationship or learning how to properly communicate. This results in a cycle of people struggling in their relationships, trying to figure it all out on their own. Susie and Otto work with their clients to discover what hidden obstacles are in the way of reaching relationship success.
“Big Fat Love” was created as a model of what healthy relationships should look like and the possibilities that exist when you allow love to take over. My favorite quote is from the movie “Love Jones” in which they say, “When people who have been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is they’ve exhausted the possibility.” When people lose faith in the possibilities in their relationship their actions and conversations reflect that and that’s where Susie and Otto want to help change.
Throughout their years of coaching, Susie reported seeing that people struggle with being hopeful about their relationship due to their past traumas and experiences. Susie said she encourages her clients to focus on what kind of relationship they want and the life they want to live.
“You have to let the past go and say, “Okay, I’m going to focus on what I want here and not what happened in the past,” Susie told us. “And it’s not that you close your eyes to what you’ve been through but you don’t want to put your walls around yourself and miss out on so many possibilities for love”
Learning How to Prioritize Your Relationship One Page at a Time
Everyone wants to have a vibrant, loving, and thriving relationship. But what people fail to realize is that it takes a lot of effort – it doesn’t just happen naturally. Susie and Otto address how couples should prioritize their partner and what that would look like. Whether you’re juggling the kids, your career, or any other commitment, “Big Fat Love” shares ways to prioritize your relationship.
“‘Big Fat Love’ draws on years of personal and professional experience in building solid relationships and offers readers no-nonsense principles for enriching marriages, partnerships, and friends. Listen to Susie and Otto Collins. Their book should be on everyone’s bookshelf,” said Pat Synder, a “Big Fat Love” reader in a review.
People often limit themselves in their relationships because they have trouble with time management. Believe it or not, time management isn’t just a skill you need to excel at work. Making sure you plan regular date nights or leaving room for you and your partner to try new experiences is how you show your significant other that they are a priority. This is where couples maintain a relationship where the possibilities are endless.
Susie said that most people get so hung up on their differences that they start to let that be their main focus and struggle to make their relationship a priority. Instead, couples should continue to explore and learn from one another and take their differences as a possibility to grow closer together.
“Two people can have opposite or different views on something and still be right,” said Susie.
Susie and Otto Collins Transform Hundreds of Lives
In addition to writing “Big Fat Love,” Susie and Otto offer one-on-one coaching sessions, podcasts, and insightful blogs that anyone can use as learning resources.
Relationships can be challenging, but with supportive professionals like Susie and Otto, you can start a path of success. Susie and Otto’s techniques have proven to work and have changed people’s perspectives on not only their relationship but themselves as well.
“One of the things I like to do with people, especially when I’m working with them as a coach, is I like to ask them a very simple question, which is, what do you want? Most people never stop to answer that question,” said Otto.
Your relationship is only as strong and healthy as you are. I admittedly used to hate phrases such as this one because it made me feel like you had to be Mrs. Perfect to find love. But now that I’m older, I understand the importance of pouring into yourself so that you can pour into others.
Susie told us it starts with loving yourself and her overall goal is to help spread more self-love in hopes of creating more loving relationships. And according to enthused clients and readers, Susie and Otto are doing a great job thus far.
“‘Big Fat Love’ is a great read! Love the message that we are all in love and that we all can create more love in our lives. Thanks, Susie and Otto for bringing more love forward into the world!” exclaimed reader Lori Candon in a review.
