A person may have lots of reasons for wanting to keep their online dating habits a secret. Whether it’s because they’re married, a closeted member of the LGBTQ+ community, or just don’t like their personal life to be public gossip, secret dating apps are a great tool for people who want to keep their search for love discreet.
These dating apps and sites make it easy to keep your personal information under wraps while you seek the right person. Each service boasts various tools and features to help you stay private while you look for anonymous sex or illicit romance.
Ashley Madison is an extramarital dating site with over 80 million profiles in its private database, and it is full of temptation. The site and app offer a judgment-free zone where married people can consider their options and chat with singles who are willing to get together on the down-low.
- A uniquely open-minded dating network
- Privacy-conscious features
- Over 1.4 million matches per month
- Browse Ashley Madison profiles 100% free »
Ashley Madison has a naughty reputation as a platform for affair seekers. Of course, that’s what it started as, and the people behind the platform haven’t shied away from that reputation at all.
Whether you’re a married person looking to cheat or just someone who wants a discreet love affair, Ashley Madison has the tools to help you keep your search discreet.
Pros
- Photo blurring
- No full names
- Active user base
Cons
- Men pay to chat
- No video features
For one thing, the dating app icon is about as discreet as you can get. When you search for the app in the Google Play Store or App Store, the right one is very simple: a black background with a white underscore. This way, even if a person looks over your apps, it’s not immediately obvious what you’re up to.
Ashley Madison offers next-level security in other places too. You can tap on the panic button and immediately pull up an innocent-looking site or mobile browser window to hide what you’re doing.
The affair dating platform also allows you to lock away profile pictures, or use blur and masking tools to prevent your true identity from getting out there. All in all, Ashley Madison does discretion very well.
OneNightFriend has been designed to offer fun browsing, speedy matches, and flirty chats between singles with few inhibitions. The casual hookup site and app help new members keep things light and look for opportunities to meet a sexy partner for a one-night stand. In addition to chat rooms and private messaging, OneNightFriend provides Safe Mode browsing to protect user privacy in a fast-paced, sex-positive online space.
- Quick signup for single men and women
- Free no-strings browsing of local personals
- Be the gatekeeper of your inbox with Safe Mode
- Browse OneNightFriend profiles 100% free »
If you’re looking for a discreet site to find your next hookup, OneNightFriend provides all the tools you need with none of the extras you don’t. The casual dating platform keeps things simple from registration to matching, but that doesn’t mean that the site skimps on privacy.
The most basic feature that allows OneNightFriend users to maintain their privacy is the fact that the site doesn’t demand a lot of personal information at registration. Age, gender, sexual preference, and location are all you have to provide.
Pros
- Sexy photos
- Minimal profile details
- No commitments
Cons
- No compatibility matches
- Limited free chats
From there, you can choose the personal information you want to include in your dating profile. Although you don’t have to provide a picture, you’ll get more attention on the platform if you do.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is that free members only get access to five messages per day. If you want to reach out to another active user beyond the complimentary five messages, you’ll need to pay for the premium subscription.
3. BeNaughty
BeNaughty invites singles to walk on the wild side and explore their sexuality in a fun, free-wheeling environment. This adults-only dating site is full of X-rated content, but users can blur nude photos if they’d prefer to leave some things to the imagination. Premium subscribers get the most bang for the buck because they can send messages, browse incognito, and receive alerts when their messages have been read by someone special.
- Sexually active adults in 10 countries
- Browse the Like Gallery for hot singles
- Stimulate conversation in intimate private messages
- Browse BeNaughty profiles 100% free »
BeNaughty isn’t just a suggestion. The dating site and the app that goes with it practically demand that members push the limits, placing adult content front and center on the platform. Part of the freedom that BeNaughty embraces comes down to the features that help members maintain their privacy on the platform, including encryption for every user.
Pros
- Quick signup
- Usernames for anonymity
- Some free chatting
Cons
- Incognito mode is a paid feature
- Little profile verification
Frequently rated one of the best apps for hookups, BeNaughty offers a baseline level of protection for everyone on the platform. But premium members get added perks to help them stay anonymous while they seek out their secret crush.
The Extra Security Package and The Premium Dater both include browser history clearing, incognito browsing, and higher-level encryption to keep your identity a secret while you pursue your next casual hookup.
4. SaucyDates
SaucyDates is an award-winning hookup site that takes online security seriously. The moderators check all profiles and photos before they’re posted. Erotic and revealing photos are permitted, but stock images or AI pics will be deleted. The straightforward interface makes it easy to find common ground through shared kinks and fetish. Sign up for free and get saucy!
- Verified photos
- Streamlined messaging
- Award-winning moderation
- Browse SaucyDates profiles 100% free »
SaucyDates is a sex-first dating app that dispenses with the runaround some other dating apps use. All you need to find a hookup is an anonymous profile. No swiping required.
Pros
- Kinky tags
- No swiping
- Verified profiles
Cons
- Chat requires premium subscription
Despite the focus on privacy, SaucyDates is dedicated to authenticity. Fake profiles, stock photos, and AI-generated picks are strictly forbidden, so you can feel confident the person you’re chatting with is real.
5. Tinder
In 2012, Tinder pioneered a swiping-based match system that empowered singles to connect with dates who liked them back. Tinder users can message their mutual matches for free on this fast-paced dating app. Since its launch, Tinder has created over 97 billion matches worldwide.
- Supports active daters in 190+ countries
- The swiping system creates over 12 million matches per day
- Tinder Plus members have unlimited likes and 5 Super Likes
- Browse Tinder profiles 100% free »
It’s no secret that Tinder is known as a hookup app, and there are privacy tools to keep your identity from being exposed. Most people opt to sign up for the original swiping app by connecting their Facebook profile, but it’s not necessary. By avoiding that choice, you can keep your personal details more private. Instead of using your Facebook details, you can register and verify using your phone.
Pros
- Free chatting
- Lots of profiles
- Fast matches
Cons
- Big user base means less privacy
- Mixed intentions
Tinder also gives you control over just how much information you provide to matches, from what you put in your bio to how many and which pictures you include. Although Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, and Tinder Platinum don’t come with any added privacy perks, the premium membership packages do give you a little more discretion when it comes to seeing who already swiped right on your profile, as well as a Tinder passport to swipe in other locations.
6. Grindr
Grindr became the world’s first gay geosocial app in 2009, and it continues growing its all-male user base more than a decade later. The app uses real-time GPS data to locate nearby date prospects and give gay and bisexual singles a chance to connect while they’re out on the town.
- Social networking for gay, bi, trans, and queer men
- Location-based matches spark instant chemistry
- Grindr Equality advocates for LGBTQ+ interests on the global stage
- Browse Grindr profiles 100% free »
Grindr quickly developed a reputation for gay hookups after its launch in 2009. The popular dating app has a community that is loud and proud, but members don’t have to be out if they aren’t ready. Closeted MLM (men-loving men) can use Grindr to find a hookup or just make a new friend without outing themselves or risking discovery.
Pros
- All male profiles
- Free chatting
- Text verification
Cons
- Limited by location
- Swipe burnout
All you need to provide to sign up is an email address, username, age, and sexual interest. You can provide a picture or not, and of course, your username need not have anything to do with your real name. The team behind Grindr understands that sometimes queer men aren’t comfortable being out, and other times it’s just not safe to be out, so the app makes it easy to explore your sexual interests without putting your ID on the line.
7. Facebook Dating
Even though Facebook Dating requires a Facebook account to work, the dating platform doesn’t advertise your presence on your main profile. Instead, Facebook uses the information it gleans from your main profile to help build your dating profile and to steer you to matches within your broader friend network (friends of friends).
The dating app won’t post to your main page and won’t share any details of your browsing or messages on your Facebook account.
Pros
- No paid features
- Easy signup
- Mutual friend matches
Cons
- Small user base
- Must have FB app
Per the Facebook Dating privacy notice, the platform uses your information in very particular ways and doesn’t share information across Facebook properties, apart from using your main account to better inform your match suggestions.
Rest assured, your Facebook friends won’t have any way to see your profile or activity on Facebook Dating — unless they’re on the dating app too.
8. Secret
A relative newcomer to the casual dating app scene, Secret lets users search for casual encounters and hookups while staying in control of their personal details. The Secret app doesn’t require a lot of information for your dating profile, just geographic location and your birthday, with optional details like name, height, and whether you own a car. And of course, you don’t have to use your real name.
Pros
- Anonymous features
- Free signup
- Photo masking
Cons
- Small user base
- Inactive accounts
You can choose a picture that doesn’t show your face at all. Keep in mind that the platform doesn’t allow explicit adult content, so keep things above board until you meet your potential hookup. The app also doesn’t include a lot of extra features, so it’s straightforward to browse, reach out, and make plans.
9. Secret Date
Although Secret Date (aka Slide) is another relative newcomer to the casual dating space, the app boasts 10,000 matches per day, which is an impressive number.
The dating platform helps you keep things anonymous by letting you choose how much information you want to reveal on the app.
Pros
- Video reels
- Multiple location swiping
Cons
- Glitchy
- Android only app
- Few matches
Secret Date uses secure SSL encryption and other features to ensure your information stays put and lets you connect with people around the world at your discretion. This makes it especially valuable for traveling singles, who may want to get a preview of the available dating pool before they visit somewhere new.
The app doesn’t have great reviews, and I’d wager that’s because the membership is so small that it may not always be able to satisfy the demand of people in small towns or rural areas.
10. Gleeden
Like Ashley Madison, Gleeden launched as a tool for dissatisfied married people to find love outside their monogamous relationships, but the discreet app has developed well beyond that niche. Gleeden keeps things simple, private, and secure with tight encryption, tailored anonymity tools, and a focus on quality membership and interactions.
Pros
- Made for affairs
- Free for women
- Customer support
Cons
- No ID verification
- Niche membership
The dating app takes a similar approach to other affair apps in that women have a full run of the features and tools without charge, while men have to step up a bit more if they want access to everything. Women on the platform have the opportunity to rate the men, and the atmosphere that Gleeden maintains is fun, relaxed, and open-minded, thanks to the privacy and security features the app includes.
FAQs: What’s the Most Discreet Dating App?
If you’re looking for discretion, affair dating services are a good place to start. Sites like Ashley Madison, VictoriaMilan, and Gleeden have an interest in keeping their membership under wraps and maintaining a private setting. These platforms typically include a nondescript app icon for your phone, a billing policy that doesn’t say “online dating” anywhere, and photo blurring to keep things anonymous.
I would also give a shoutout to Feeld and Pure, both of which are hookup apps that keep the secrets of users and don’t give away many juicy and identifying details.
Is There a Dating Site for Introverts?
Match earns our top rankings as the best dating site and app for introverts, and for good reason. While it is a mainstream dating site, Match offers a level of security to members as part and parcel of what the platform does.
The online dating site and app prioritize privacy by requiring a paid membership to gain full access to messaging. That makes it easier for members to keep their dating lives away from prying eyes. It also means that your match is more likely to be just as serious as you are in searching for a real relationship.
How Can a Person Spot Fake Profiles on a Dating Site or App?
Avoiding fake profiles and scammers on dating platforms is a major concern, and rightly so. The romance scam industry is a big, international pest, and all popular dating sites and apps try to do what they can to police their user base and screen out bad actors. But no system is perfect, so the final line of defense is to know what to look out for.
On the most basic level, the biggest red flag is to ask yourself: Is this person too good to be true? A fake account will often provide inconsistent or vague details, such as a description that doesn’t match the profile picture or a location that doesn’t make sense (think: “Location: New York, California”).
Another common error by scammers is making major grammatical or spelling mistakes in their profile information. Anyone can have a typo in their profile, but someone who misspells the simplest of words should raise a red flag.
All in all, if someone seems too perfect to be a real person, chances are they’re not. Sorry to say, you’re probably not dating Brad Pitt.
Do All Dating Apps Require Social Media?
No. In fact, for the majority of dating sites, you’re not actually required to provide a social media link. Several platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Zoosk give you the option to link a social profile to speed up the registration process, but you can just as easily input the information yourself.
One of the few dating platforms that actually requires a Facebook account for verification purposes is Facebook Dating. In addition to pulling your dating profile details from your main account through the Facebook app, the online dating app also uses your Facebook friends network to help suggest a perfect match.
What Is Ghost Mode on Dating Apps?
Ghost mode — or incognito mode — is a special feature that some dating apps provide to ensure extra privacy for members on the platform. It’s typically a paid perk, not a free feature, and it could be well worth it if you’re looking to lurk in secret.
Basically, ghost mode means that you can see dating profiles, but you can’t be seen by anyone on the app. Your views won’t be listed in notifications, and in some cases, your profile won’t even appear in searches or swipe lists.
The Right Dating App Can Keep Your Romance a Secret
Whatever your reasons for wanting to pursue a new partner a secret, there’s an app or a dating site that has the solution. These secret dating apps provide different tools and features that will keep your face from showing up in a random search or prevent a loved one or friends from discovering you are looking for a hookup or new relationship.
Your personal information is in good hands on these discreet dating platforms!
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