The Scoop: Bad Girl Productions has launched their new Bad Boys division of male strippers for bachelorette parties. They gathered responses from five of their males strippers on what it’s like to navigate love and relationships as a man who strips. Their responses illuminate the unique experiences male strippers face meeting people, entering committed relationships, and managing what others think of their unconventional jobs.
If you’re the average employed American, you spend nearly a quarter of your year working.
We’ll do the math. Let’s say you work eight hours a day, five days a week. That puts you at 40 hours every week. If you get 15 days off work a year, that leaves you with 49 weeks, or 1,960 hours, of work. That’s around 22% of the 8,760 hours a year holds.
That much time spent doing anything is going to have a big impact.
“Keeping work at work” is the ideal, but the reality is often more complicated. Your job affects your daily routine, free time, and relationships. It can influence how much time you have and how you use it, and shapes your view of the world and culture at large.
For those with unconventional job titles, their job can have an even more profound impact on the rest of their lives. Bad Girl Productions offers one-of-a-kind bachelorette party experiences and employs hundreds of entertainers across the country.
The company recently took responses from five men who work as bachelorette party strippers. They answered questions about how stripping affects their lives outside of work, specifically in the realm of dating and relationships.
We bring all of ourselves into dating, including what we do for a living. The responses from these five men illuminate not only how working as a stripper can affect one’s dating and relationship experience, but also how the dating culture views and handles people who work jobs outside of the expected.
Finding Connection While Embracing Fantasy
Each of us takes on a different role at work than we would at home, but for strippers, this change comes with a bit extra. A stripper’s job entails appearing and performing as a sexualized and over-the-top personality while managing crowded environments and multiple customers.
When asked how difficult it is for them to find a partner as strippers, the men’s responses varied. Male Stripper #1 said it was very difficult to find a committed relationship, and it had taken him three years in the past. Male Stripper #3 and Male Stripper #5 shared his sentiments.
Stripper #3 said the conflict between his profession and his background of traditional Christian beliefs made it challenging for him to find a partner. Despite working in the entertainment industry, his dating and romantic goals aren’t defined by it. On the contrary, they seem to be in conflict.
Male Stripper #2 and Male Stripper #4 reported that they didn’t feel their job negatively impacted their ability to find a long-term partner. Stripper #2 said honesty and communication make a big difference, especially in the early stages of the relationship.
“What do you do for work?” is a common first-date question. Unfortunately, strippers can experience hasty judgment from potential partners for their profession. Stripper #1 reported that a vast majority of the women he meets on dates are intimidated by his line of work.
Male Stripper #2 said people are interested when they find out what he does since it’s a rather rare job. Male Stripper #3 expressed that reactions run the gamut– people are either fascinated or judgmental.
Stripper #4 said he receives “generally terrible” reactions when he tells people what he does, but that changes once they see him perform.
In terms of how difficult it is to disclose their job title to potential dates, Stripper #1 said it’s difficult but is a crucial exercise in honesty. Stripper #3 agreed, stating he usually discloses his position on the third or fourth meeting once he’s gotten to know his date a little better.
After receiving multiple negative reactions, men who strip can have a difficult time dealing with the nerves of disclosing their profession to a potential partner and the risk of rejection. Regardless of your job, a worthwhile date will take the time to understand your personal and professional experiences.
How Stripping Changes Dating
One response unites all five of the respondents: Stripping changed the way they dated. All five strippers said their profession shifted their dating outlook and relationships, but each in different ways.
Male Stripper #1, Stripper #4, and Stripper #5 gave a concise “Yes– drastically changed,” to the question. Working as a stripper often comes with long hours, usually late at night, and practice and preparation outside of working hours.
Male Stripper #2 agreed, but said his profession has opened more dating options and given him new avenues to explore. Stripper #3 said his dating experience was different, specifically in terms of life skills and experiences. Stripping requires confidence and self-awareness– which translate well into dating.
Sure, what you do for a living probably matters to potential dates. But, more than that, it matters to you. Your profession can change how you view relationships and what experiences you bring to the table. It can also change what you look for.
All five respondents agreed that clearly communicated boundaries are essential in their romantic relationships. Male Stripper #1 said he takes a “brutally honest” approach and explains to potential partners that he works long and odd hours.
Male Stripper #2 said it’s important for him to let his partners know flirting is simply his job, and it never goes past that. Male Stripper #3 said emphasizing confidence and trust is essential, and Male Stripper #4 reported that he tells his partners exactly what his work day looks like so there are no misunderstandings.
Communication and clear boundaries are essential in every relationship. The nature of stripping as a profession means strippers often need to have these kinds of open conversations sooner rather than later, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
When done well, it opens the door for authentic communication from the very get-go.
Your Job Influences How You Date, Too
The last question prompted each respondent to share anything else they would like to say about dating as a stripper. Male Stripper #1 shared that trust is the most important factor in forming a long-term relationship, but building that trust is work.
He said, “You’ll most likely have a probation officer rather than a girlfriend when you’re breaking the ice about your occupation, but if you actually take steps to build solid trust and live with integrity, you can have more freedom, and she’ll be happier because she won’t be stressed.”
He said steps to building trust include transparent scheduling, honest communication, and professionalism in the workplace.
Male Stripper #2 expressed that while dating as a stripper can come with plenty of fun, he’s more focused on himself right now. “Honestly, my passions and life mission are more important to me than dating at the moment,” he said.
Male Stripper #3’s response exposed one crucial point when thinking about how work and dating influence each other. “I do this to put myself through school and get ahead. I know there are deeply intellectual women who cherish strong characteristics in a man. Dating is minimized for me, but it’s not gone.”
Our work influences so much about our lives, but, at the end of the day, everyone needs a job to make money and survive. And a person’s job isn’t the best or only indicator of who they are or what they value.
It’s important to consider a potential partner’s occupation and how that influences their lives, but there is so much more to a person than what they do for work. Keeping an open mind while dating and getting to know each person you meet for who they are– not what they do– will lead you to more fulfilling and exciting dating experiences.
