Key Takeaways

Singles can always find love with a little help from their friends. 

Jewish dating site JWed has introduced a new feature, FriendsIntro, that allows a user’s friends to post positive reviews about them to their dating profile. 

JWed calls itself “a pioneer in Jewish online dating for marriage,” but that doesn’t mean the platform is stuck in the past. FriendsIntro is an innovative way to combine tradition with modern online dating. It’s also a way for JWed users to improve their dating profile prowess. As founder and CEO Derek Saker explained, “It is admittedly sometimes hard to vouch for yourself!” Allowing your closest allies to talk you up to potential matches not only connects you to your friends, but connects a match’s community to your own. 

In fact, dating app features that involve the collaboration of the user’s friends, family, and religious community could be a welcome addition to any Jewish dating platform — especially if these features ultimately give the user the final say over who they date. By giving the user’s friends the ability to write on their profile, JWed is emphasizing the power of community in the Jewish faith. 

JWed wants to go above and beyond the average profile pic-and-swipe structure of most dating apps. The goal, Saker said, is to find a balance between casual swiping and in-depth profile creation. This way, users can have a more efficient experience on the app, and perhaps find themselves walking down the aisle quicker than they expected to. 

Community Involvement is an Essential Part of Matchmaking 

JWed isn’t the only dating platform for Jewish daters that highlights the importance of community. Chabad.org’s Shidduch Match directly connects users to helpful matchmakers who take a dater’s specific interests and needs into account with a family-oriented end goal. The matchmaking site Yenta takes a more casual approach. It still provides input from real matchmakers, but it also allows users to seek out casual and serious relationships with other Jewish singles on the app. JSwipe provides event listings and encourages online and offline connections between its members. 

These dating platforms value community because the Jewish faith places high value on the family unit and surrounding community. Jewish singles are receptive to innovations that involve community and that make it easier to connect: “JWed believes that the new FriendsIntro feature will only further help Jewish singles meet and marry by powerfully offering an even more holistic picture of the depth and beauty of every Jewish single,” JWed wrote.

Saker told us that every person on a dating app has to market themselves, so they might as well do so in a meaningful way. “By providing singles with diverse ways to express and present their unique selves — written, voice, photos, through friends — we believe it creates a far more meaningful and engaging interface yielding more interactions, meetings, and happy marriages!”

Wingmen and wingwomen have deep roots in Jewish culture, but they usually go by a different name: Matchmakers. But a well-meaning friend does not a matchmaker make. As Saker told us, our broader communities “often feel they know you best — and recommend the worst!” To combat this, FriendsIntro allows your loved ones to vouch for you, and not for a potential match. 

In some communities, creating a profile on a Jewish dating site is not unlike working with a matchmaker. “Prospective daters commonly create a resumé that outlines their height and weight, their educational background, their family’s origins and customs, their synagogue affiliations, and other basic information,” Abby Seitz explained for My Jewish Learning. 

Seitz said a matchmaker often turns to a client’s community to get a full picture of who they are and what kind of partner they could be. A matchmaker may “collect references from teachers, roommates, classmates, family friends, and other community members who can attest to the prospective candidate’s character and commitment to building a Jewish home.” 

JWed’s new feature puts a modern spin on these cultural Jewish traditions by allowing a user’s friends to attest to the same qualities online. 

Balancing Tradition With Modern Boundaries 

Community is often a central part of Jewish matchmaking, and even of modern Jewish dating. But the community that supports and encourages singles can also be the community that judges them for being single in the first place. 

Judaism has many different branches, each with varying levels of conservatism. Community means something different to each group. For some, having a strong support system is key to finding The One; for others, a community isn’t so much a support system as it is a jury, which could leave some singles feeling smothered.

In 2023, the Orthodox Union’s Center for Communal Research found that singles within Orthodox communities sometimes feel judged and marginalized for their single status. 

The same research center found that there are pros and cons to singles using dating apps vs. matchmakers. “Singles who used matchmakers were more likely to say that they had been on a date over the past six months with somebody they might be interested in marrying,” Dr. Rachel Ginsberg explained. “On the other hand, some singles relayed that they didn’t always appreciate the quality of their interactions with matchmakers, as in cases where matchmakers offered unsolicited advice.” 

Another Center for Communal Research  study found that 32% of males and 38% of females rely on friends and family to set them up with potential partners. “The role of singles’ family and friends — those who know them the best — often gets overlooked,” Dr. Ginsberg said. “An important takeaway from the study is that it’s everyone’s responsibility to help singles, not just matchmakers.”  

JWed has embraced this idea with FriendsIntro. It’s up to the individual to decide whether to pursue a relationship with someone, but this JWed feature reminds them — and any potential dates — that they have a strong support system in their corner.