The Scoop: Many high-achieving women today are looking for more results-oriented dating. Dating expert Megan Weks says what’s missing for many is a sense of strategic drive and the confidence to transform an in-person singles event or coffee date from a potential anxiety attack into an adventure. Megan calls her approach The Manfunnel Method®. She counsels loving your authentic self first, casting a wide net for prospects, learning a few success strategies, and never settling. Because if you know you’re worth it, you will be, and he’ll know it too.
If you’re a high-achieving woman who goes online to find dates, you may feel you know how to make the apps work for you. Yet you may also feel you’re missing out on opportunities to meet men in person.
It depends on your priorities. Many women have found great relationships on the apps, but if you feel like Megan Weks felt as she approached her 35th birthday with no prospects of lasting love on the horizon, you may wonder what’s holding you back and whether adding a different approach can help you find what you’re looking for.
As Megan found herself spinning her wheels as 35 approached, she promised herself that she would be married within a year. She also vowed not to settle on anyone who wasn’t exactly who she wanted.
Those are lofty promises. Luckily, Megan realized she could set a few simple rules and make a few simple changes to put herself out there in the real world with a fresh perspective and self-esteem.
She met her goal — and realized she had something to say to women like her who never seemed to get anywhere with dating. She transitioned to a new career as a certified dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker. And she created The Manfunnel Method, a digital course designed to get women out of the rut of linear dating — where they settle for the wrong man — and into playing the field with an end goal in mind.
“The thing about dating today is you can’t just throw spaghetti against the wall and hope it will stick,” Megan said. “You need something people don’t like to associate with dating, and that’s strategy.”
It Takes Practice to Overcome Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
Megan said women shy away from the concept of dating with intention because they think it sucks all the romance out of the process. Megan thinks differently: she wants clients to believe in themselves as a potential romantic partner to find lasting love.
“Many people think that learning and gaining skills in the romantic realm is somehow not being yourself,” Megan said. “I totally disagree because all the personal development I did that led me to love was about deepening my authentic self and becoming more of who I was meant to be.”
Highly datable women use Megan’s Manfunnel Method to start with a large group of prospects and gradually whittle down that number. It begins with the realization that, in many situations, personal encounters at coffee shops, singles events, and the like may be a more fruitful way for you to make connections.
Making those situations work is about being confident enough to approach people and hold yourself in a way that attracts others. And that requires understanding and overcoming counterproductive self-beliefs about things like flirting.
“It’s hard to behave in certain flirtatious ways or even see ourselves as flirtatious, confident, or sensual if we don’t feel beautiful or worthy of love,” Megan said. “My first step is to have my clients dare to try new ways of communicating, new ways of holding themselves, new ways of taking risks.”
Megan’s not recommending you pick up the next guy you see in a back alley. It’s about practicing ways of approaching men in person that put your best self forward because you know you’re worth it.
“It doesn’t matter what you look like or what your size is — you’re beautiful enough to flirt,” Megan said.
There’s No Reason Not to Risk the First Move
Many women are probably shocked after reading that they should learn some flirting skills. The problem is even worse with younger women than with older ones because younger women may be more comfortable online than off.
They reason that it’s best to be cautious and keep personal encounters to a minimum, especially in today’s topsy-turvy culture. But structured flirting can go a long way, and thousands of women have used The Manfunnel Method to find what’s missing in their lives.
“As long as you’re doing it in a non-creepy way, I would love for you to walk in the room, scan everybody’s eyes, and smile a big bright smile,” Megan said. “If you and your friends are at the bar and a cute crop of guys sits next to you, just say hello right away — don’t wait.”
Megan still uses that method even though she’s permanently attached and no longer on the market. It’s good to have a vibe where you can walk up to people and talk to them.
“We do a lot of breath work and heart-opening tools,” Megan said. “And then when you’re out in the world, gaze at people’s eyes and smile — it opens doors and gets you accustomed and ready and practicing.”
You may find success on the first try. But the next step in the Manfunnel Method is realizing that if one man is attracted, others will be too. So don’t turn a flirtation into exclusivity right away, Megan cautioned. It’s better to play the field and date several men at once than commit too soon to the wrong guy.
“Everyone wants to be on the receiving end of someone chatting them up, so flirt with the world,” Megan said.
Go Offline to Show Guys Who You Really Are
Imagine you’re on a business trip. Walking up to colleagues and competitors with something to say is no big deal. If you modify and apply those skills in your personal life, romance may be on the horizon.
That’s because people want to be together, Megan said. Formal marriage may be trending downward in Western culture, but the desire for connection isn’t. There’s something about bonding that seems hard-wired in the brain.
The Manfunnel Method teaches women they can have it because they deserve it. In fact, there may be nothing better than meeting people offline to show them who you really are.
“If you want love, there’s a person out there who wants it too,” Megan said. “And if you can show up as your authentic self and be warmer and kinder right out of the gate, you’ll stand out.”
You may be right if you think The Manfunnel Method is ultimately about applying tried-and-true wisdom to modern dating. It’s worth a little learning and skill-building, considering that the rest of your life is on the line.
“I challenge all of you reading this to practice showing up,” Megan said. “Instead of bracing yourself for rejection, enter all conversations with excitement and warmth, and you’ll automatically see better reactions.”
Then, be disciplined enough to know who you are and what you want, and keep dating until you find it.
Megan makes these arguments as a speaker at business conferences and events because work and romance have a lot in common. Read her blog, connect with her on social media, and contact her to make The Manfunnel Method part of your life.
“Go out and try it: Find a bestie or do it on your own and dare yourself to show up with more warmth and interest in others,” Megan said. “Look them in the eye, compliment them, and just get out there.”
