The Scoop: By drawing from her personal experiences and wisdom, Master Life Coach Sharon Pope has guided many single men and women through painful dating hurdles. She has written several books detailing important love lessons and life lessons, and her latest project is a series of honest, soul-searching, self-help books that can help singles leave the baggage of past relationships behind. “Why is Love So Hard to Find?” is the first in the Soulful Truth Telling series, and it asks deep questions that prompt singles to first look within themselves to find love and fulfillment. Sharon’s central message to singles is that, to find a loving partner, you must first believe yourself worth loving.

My friend’s parents met when they were 21 and got married within a couple years. They spent very little time dating anyone other than each other, so they are fairly perplexed by their daughter’s single status. She’s almost 30 and hasn’t had a steady boyfriend in years. She has gone on many a Tinder date, though. At first, her parents were convinced she was just too picky. “You have to learn to compromise on certain qualities,” her mom memorably told her after my friend had dumped a guy for telling her she needed to lose weight.

“Like niceness?” my friend had asked incredulously.

Now, her parents have decided to take matters into their own hands and have started actively seeking a date for their daughter. And, it turns out, it’s rough out there. Her mom successfully got the number of one guy at a neighborhood party. But he turned out to be gay. Then her dad met a polite young man at a sandbar barbecue. But he was in a relationship.

Photo of Sharon Pope, Master Life Coach

Sharon Pope is a certified life coach and best-selling author with life-altering takeaways for singles.

Even with so many options at our disposal, it can be difficult for modern singles to sort through the dating scene and find that special someone to come home to. Not everyone understands those difficulties, but Master Life Coach Sharon Pope does. She has spent years counseling singles through the frustration, disappointment, and uncertainty of dating, and now she has written a self-help book to support a larger audience.

Her thought-provoking book, “Why is Love So Hard to Find?” delves into the challenges of selecting a partner and offers practical solutions to help singles get out of their rut and into a great relationship. As a divorcee who’s now happily remarried, Sharon draws from her personal experience finding, losing, and rediscovering love to inspire singles and show them a pathway out of their struggles.

“Become the person that has the characteristics that you’re trying to attract,” she recommended. “Finding love has very little to do with what you’re doing and has far more to do with who you are being and becoming.”

The First in the Soulful Truth Telling Series

“Why is Love So Hard to Find?” by Sharon Pope is the first book in the Soulful Truth Telling series of love and relationships. She’s writing this informative trilogy to give readers a guide on how to overcome obstacles in the dating scene and make a genuine connection with someone.

According to Sharon, “We were born from love. We can’t live without love. To love and to be loved is all we’re really here to do.”

Photo of Why is Love So Hard to Find by Sharon Pope

“Why is Love So Hard to Find?” addresses the false beliefs and insecurities that hold singles back.

Sharon told us she firmly believes that a person can have many potential soul mates waiting for them. In her view, successful dating isn’t a matter of finding The One; it’s a matter of picking one of the possibilities.

“I don’t believe there’s only one person out there for each of us,” she said. “That creates a scarcity mentality and anxiety about getting out there, finding him, and locking him down. That’s not love — that’s prison.”

The life coach advises singles not to smother love out fear of losing it. She said sometimes romantic partners need room to breathe and time to come to you. Becoming a magnetic and attractive dater is all about having the confidence and self-awareness to communicate your best qualities.

“You want to be drawing to you the kind of love that you want, rather than hunting him down, forcing it, and making love happen.” Sharon said. “Instead, become the person that you’re actually seeking.”

How to Heal the Past & Be Ready to Love Again

The first chapter of Sharon’s book delves into her experience getting a divorce, trying to heal a broken heart, and looking for a fresh start. She describes herself as playing with fire and stumbling through the dark until she finally looked within to find the answers she needed to move forward.

Sharon said she realized a man couldn’t help her feel worthy and valuable — only she could do that. “I stopped trying to find someone to love and appreciate me, and I began to love and appreciate myself,” she said. “How could I be a priority to someone else if my love, my heart, my health, and my happiness weren’t a priority in my own life?”

Once she got into this positive state of mind and being, she met Derrick, an open and honest man who loves her for who she is. They’re now happily married.

“Soulful Truth Telling is your doorway to clarity. Soulful Truth Telling is your key to healing and forgiveness.” — Sharon Pope, Master Life Coach

Sharon tells this story to show singles that it is possible to transform their lives, but it has to come from within, not from someone or something outside of ourselves. She asks readers to consider what past relationships are holding them back from happiness, and she challenges them to spend some time cultivating a healthy relationship with themselves before seeking a relationship with anyone else. She calls this constructive state of mind “Soulful Truth Telling.”

“It’s a worthwhile exercise to clear away that clutter from past relationships so that we’re not carrying it as baggage into future relationships,” she said. “Sometimes we build up a wall around our hearts to keep from being hurt again. It’s a natural self-defense mechanism that makes us feel safe and secure, but it can also feel pretty lonely back behind that wall.”

Another key point in Sharon’s new book is knowing when you’re ready to open your heart to someone else. The life coach asks two simple questions to help singles judge: 1) Have you healed from your past relationships? and 2) Does dating feel like fun? These two factors can help people gauge how prepared they are to love again.

“When simply getting to know new people and have new experiences sounds like fun, then you’re ready to begin dating,” she said. “If it feels like work to do, you’re not ready. If it feels like a task that you need to tackle or accomplish, you’re not ready.”

Sharon’s Insights Set Singles on a Positive Journey

Although their efforts have been fruitless so far, my friend’s parents have at least gained a little understanding and sympathy for how hard it is to find a good single guy as an adult. And my friend is grateful for that. Sometimes the best thing a person can do to help a single person is to empathize with their struggles and offer emotional support through the ups and downs.

Sharon Pope does exactly that in her new book. “Why is Love So Hard to Find?” explores the issues that keep people from getting in relationships and unlocks the truth that can change everything. The book shows readers how to view their past experiences as the fuel that drives them forward. Its insightful philosophy gives singles the knowledge they need to improve their love lives.

From start to finish, Sharon’s introspective approach to love enlightens readers and inspires them to take steps to become more confident daters who feel worthy of love. She encourages singles not to get out there until they’re absolutely ready for love from an emotional and mental standpoint.

“Begin dating when it feels light, easy, and fun,” she said. “Begin dating when you’re ready to be fully yourself so that the right person can find you. Begin dating when you’re ready to allow everyone else to be fully themselves, without trying to change them so that you can make choices that honor your heart.”