The Scoop: If you’ve decided to try matchmaking, you should do research to find a matchmaker who understands what you’re looking for. Matchmaker Jill Hinckley talked to us about matchmaking, what to look for in a matchmaking service, and why a multifaceted introductions approach can make commitment-minded dating an exciting journey.
If you’re ready for a committed relationship, the intentions you bring to dating probably go a little deeper than wanting to meet new people and experience exciting things. You’re looking for the real deal and the deep, intimate connection that comes along with it.
That means you’re not going to date the same way a casual dater would. Access to support and resources makes commitment-minded dating simpler and more enjoyable for singles who don’t have time to waste.
Singles have many avenues to explore when it comes to serious dating. Matchmaking is a great option for singles who want hands-on guidance from a professional, and it’s even better when it’s supported by a coaching program that can attend to some dating blindspots.
Jill Hinckley is a Certified Matchmaker and the founder of Hinckley Introductions, a boutique East Coast matchmaking agency. She talked to us about how matchmaking can help serious singles find lasting partnerships and what hopefuls should look for when searching for a matchmaker.
“My clients are busy professionals looking for love,” Jill said. “One of my favorite parts of my job, and something that I think is so important for matchmakers, is that I work with other matchmakers. We often collaborate to make successful introductions.”
What to Look for in a Matchmaker
The matchmaker you choose will affect nearly everything about the process. Every matchmaker takes a slightly different approach, and their introductions network reflects that. The type of singles you meet will depend on your matchmaker’s location, client base, and network.
“Number one is research,” Jill said. “You can consider giving matchmakers a call as part of the research. Ask questions, check out different services, and find out what’s right for you.”
Matchmakers come from many backgrounds. Jill comes from a professional background in boating and recruiting, and her client base reflects that. “I do work with lots of people that are sailors and boaters, because that’s my background, and I worked in the boat business,” she said.
If you’re looking for local introductions, regional matchmakers are a great option. Singles who don’t want to put a geographic limit on potential connections can choose national or even global matchmaking services.
A matchmaker like Jill would be a great choice for a matchmaking candidate looking for a match in the Eastern United States. “I have lived in different locations along the East Coast, so I often meet people from Maine to Florida.”
Collaboration is a sign of a great matchmaking service. I’m a member of the Matchmakers Alliance and the Global Love Institute. Many years ago, all matchmakers were in competition with each other and that is pretty much gone,” Jill said. “Most matchmakers share now, and it makes all of matchmaking better for our clients.”
You’ll want to look for a matchmaker who has plenty of experience in the industry, a proven track record of making impressive introductions, and experience in your demographic. Jill encouraged matchmaking hopefuls to look for a service that fits with their age, location, and what they’re looking for in a partner.
Finding a Matchmaker Who Understands
Matchmaking is a unique way to meet new people, but it’s still a type of dating. Singles may have a professional matchmaker who handles many aspects of the dating process, but they still have to show up with a dating-ready mindset.
Before singles choose a matchmaker, they should decide whether matchmaking is the right service for them. Jill said talking to matchmakers can help potential clients decide whether they want to go down this unique dating avenue.
“Ideal clients are people who are looking for long-term relationships and are serious about finding them,” Jill said. “They’re ready to put in the time and effort it takes to find their person.”
Jill said she talks with each potential client to get to know them and learn about their dating goals. This initial meeting helps both Jill and her potential clients assess each other and the matchmaking service.
“One of my favorite parts of the process is that initial phone call where I get to know people, what they’re looking for, and how they want to go about it,” Jill said. “And then we come up with what I call a dating strategy, and decide how to move forward.”
Hinckley Introductions is a boutique matchmaking firm, meaning Jill only has a handful of clients at once. She said this is how she keeps her service as hands-on and involved as it is.
“The big thing about matchmaking is that it’s a commitment,” Jill said. “To keep expectations clear, I sign contracts with all of my clients so they know exactly what to expect. It’s important that everyone understand what they’re getting into.”
Once a client has been onboarded as a matchmaking client, Jill digs into the important questions. “This is when we talk about what they’re looking for,” she said. “What qualities? What age? What location? I get an idea of the qualities and kind of person they’re looking for.”
As with any other kind of dating, matchmaking doesn’t come with any guarantees. Jill helps her clients manage their expectations and understand that the process includes highs and lows.
“It’s not like we’re finding them a tangible object,” Jill said. “You’re looking for different qualities in people, and you create new opportunities for people. Sometimes, we don’t have the perfect match. But you’ll still meet new people and learn a lot along the way.”
Planning a Multifaceted Dating Approach
Modern dating benefits from a multidimensional approach. Online dating is a convenient way to explore new connections in your area and become more comfortable with pursuing dating. When you combine it with in-person dating pursuits, you have a solid dating approach.
If a client isn’t ready for matchmaking, Jill offers other services to help them have better dating experiences outside of matchmaking.
Some singles may just need extra guidance stepping into online dating or honing their dating approach. “Matchmaking may not be the path for them, but I can help them find the right for them,” Jill said. “With all the different apps and options available, people often just need a little direction.”
With online dating support, Jill helps her clients create and manage their online dating profiles. She can give them pointers for taking photographs, writing bios, and messaging other users.
The dating coaching program is a great option for singles who are interested in online dating and want the support of a coach throughout the process. Jill is a useful resource for singles who want to make the most of commitment-minded online dating.
Jill said she encourages any interested singles to join her database, whether they choose to pursue matchmaking, online dating services, or coaching. Many matchmakers offer free-to-join networks which they use to match their paying clients.
“I do encourage almost everybody to join my database,” Jill said. “I share with other matchmakers, and they share with me, so you never know what might happen. Plus, it’s free. You really don’t have anything to lose.”
Matchmakers can help you meet like-minded singles and form lasting connections. They’re more than simply professionals– they’re real people who understand the complexities of dating and relationships.
“Our success is your success,” Jill said. “We’re personal. We’re people. We all share experiences that a lot of our clients have been through. I’ve been divorced, and I’ve had to regroup and figure it out. It’s a wonderful community, and matchmakers can really relate to their clients.”
