Key Takeaways
- Feeld says its Reflections feature is helping daters find the language to express their sexual desires, boundaries, and relationship needs more confidently.
- Helping people better understand and express what they want in bed and in relationships may be key to building more genuine connections.
- Users report greater clarity around “safe sex” and a stronger sense of agency in how they present themselves, both IRL and in their dating profiles.
Feeld’s “Reflections” feature is proving to be more than just a personality quiz or profile enhancer. According to new findings from the platform, the tool is helping users articulate their sexual desires, boundaries, and relationship expectations with a level of confidence and clarity they previously struggled to achieve.
The proof of this is in user Feeld profiles. The dating platform surveyed 1,112 members about their Reflections use, and 68% reported feeling they should update their profiles to more accurately reflect their desires and boundaries.
Users who want to update their profiles with clearer desires and boundaries
according to Feeld
Feeld’s Head of Product, Nathan Studholme, told DatingNews that platforms shouldn’t underestimate their power to shape the conversations happening within the dating world. “Communication norms will naturally be influenced by platforms, whether intentionally or not,” he told us.
The last time DatingNews talked about Feeld’s Reflections feature, we briefly touched on its potential as a communication tool. Now, a few months later, we know this for sure. Reflections Vol. 2 report explains how it gave Feeld users a long-awaited vocabulary lesson.
One user told Feeld that Reflections helped them “find the language I was lacking” surrounding sex and boundaries, and another said it helped them reflect on “where I am in my communication around sex.”
Dr. Kyla Brathwaite, who co-led the research for Reflections Vol. 2, told DatingNews, “Language is important for self-discovery, especially when it comes to connecting with others — and ourselves.”
Daters Want More Than Matches — They Want Self-Understanding
There are typical barriers to sexual satisfaction and relationship success: Not having the words to articulate your needs, being too ashamed to articulate your needs, or not knowing what your needs are at all.
Full emotional and sexual expression is often stymied by what social scientists call “impression management,” or as Feeld puts it, “Many of us are navigating the desire to show up authentically online while also feeling pressure to curate the ideal image of the self.”
But balancing two versions of yourself is not sustainable, and can even result in the user lacking basic self-knowledge. When this happens, the questions of “What do I want?” and “What do I really want?” becomes much more complicated.
“People still want love, intimacy, partnership, and connection, but they are also looking for tools that help them better understand themselves throughout that process.” — Nathan Studholme, Feeld's Head of Product
To underline the importance of self-knowledge, Feeld asks an age-old question: “If we don’t truly know ourselves or how to express ourselves authentically, how can we make genuine and meaningful connections with others?” This is where Reflections comes in.
Studholme told DatingNews that Reflections “is less about optimizing compatibility and more about helping people communicate authentically and intentionally.”
The response to Reflections underscores what daters want most from platforms these days:
“People still want love, intimacy, partnership, and connection, but they are also looking for tools that help them better understand themselves throughout that process,” Studholme said. “Reflections was designed with that reality in mind.”
Case in point: 58% of respondents said they have more clarity over what they actually want from relationships.
How Reflections Helps Daters Express Core Boundaries
Users say that Reflections has opened their eyes to the benefits of communication — of telling their partner(s) exactly what they want, without curbing their desires or mincing their words. In fact, 67% said they’re done avoiding vulnerable topics, including their intimate desires, after using Reflections.
Plus, over 50% said they’re more interested in discussing their boundaries and their own definitions of “safe sex.” One user said Reflections helped them in “saying no sooner” by giving them the confidence to assert their boundaries.
These are considered “high stakes” conversations because they deal directly with people’s safety, boundaries, and sense of intimacy. Reflections enables these daters — especially those in highly vulnerable groups, like women and LGBTQ+ daters — to have these conversations without “winging” it.
“Language can be a powerful form of agency, especially amongst people with marginalized identities whose voices and autonomy have been historically overlooked,” Brathwaite explained.
Source: Feeld's State of Reflections Vol. 2
Reflections aims to give these groups two of the most valuable tools any dater can have in their arsenal: words, and the confidence to use them.
Of course, this skill doesn’t only matter with verbal communication, but with written communication, too. Seventy-two percent of Feeld members say their new sense of agency has affected the way they craft their dating profile. They’re expressing their desires with confidence, regardless of society’s definition of “normal.”
“I do think we are seeing a broader cultural shift towards transparency, emotional literacy, and greater acceptance of relational experimentation — especially in younger generations,” Brathwaite told us.
Feeld suggests that these shifts in perspective — users becoming more empowered, more articulate, and less self-conscious — not only makes Feeld but the dating world as a whole a safer place for connections.
