Key Takeaways

AI usage has spiked by more than 300% since 2024, as online daters seek authentic, long-term love, according to the 14th Annual Singles in America study released by Match Group and The Kinsey Institute. 

The 2025 Singles in America study shows just how much daters’ desires have changed in just one year. People are shedding stereotypes, breaking free of monogamy (a reversal from last year’s findings), embracing artificial intelligence, and are seeking out authentic, long-term love. 

Dr. Justin Garcia, Chief Scientific Advisor to Match and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, and Dr. Amanda Gesselman, Director of Sex and Relationship Science at Match, provided expert commentary on the study’s findings. 

“​Today’s singles are rejecting the one-size-fits-all approach to dating,” Garcia explained. “They’re rethinking outdated gender roles, seeking emotional intelligence over bravado, and using ​every tool, from erotic fiction to AI, to explore intimacy in ways that feel authentic to them.” 

More than 75,000 people contributed to the survey, making it “the nation’s most comprehensive and longest-running annual study of single adults,” according to Match Group. 

“Vanilla Sex” Isn’t Satisfying for 60% of Gen X Singles

Gen X, the often-overlooked generation between Boomers and millennials, is striving to make more sexually satisfying connections — 6 in 10 singles, to be exact, said they want more than “vanilla sex.” 

Gesselman told DatingNews how some people in their 40s are experiencing a sexual revolution.

The study found that 70% of surveyed singles in their 40s feel “frequently turned on” and 50% have sex at least once a month. Clearly, Gen X could use more sexual representation in the dating industry, including on the apps. “Together, these findings are painting a picture about Gen X’s desire for alignment, freedom, and mutual understanding,“ Gesselman said.

Match’s survey also revealed a growing interest in ethically non-monogamous relationships among Gen Xers. “All age groups are showing interest in non-monogamy, according to our data, but Gen Xers are particularly leaning in,” she told us. “These are singles who have already experienced long-term relationships or marriage, and are now asking themselves, ‘What actually works for me?’”

After all, the “pressure to perform or conform”, as Gesselman put it, is more common among younger, less experienced generations. Gen X is ready to take things up a notch; some Gen Z may not be quite there yet. 

Perhaps that’s why Gen Z enjoys reading about sex in addition to experiencing it for themselves. 

The Written Word Has Never Been Sexier For 25% of Gen Z 

On TikTok, readers and writers alike have dipped their toes into the piping-hot waters of BookTok. 

It’s where, according to the study, 24% of Gen Z and 22% of single women go to bond over their shared passion for the sexy written word. For now, erotic fan fiction and erotic literature are the trendiest forms of pornography. 

As Match noted, people read smut because they crave sexual and emotional fulfillment. “Gen Z’s preference for erotic fiction over mainstream porn shows how they’re seeking sexual content that feels more personal, more emotionally immersive, and more in line with the way they’re shaping their lives and relationships,” Gesselman told us.

If one has yet to find fulfillment with another person, they’ll naturally look for sexual satisfaction from other places. “We’re seeing a real shift toward self-sourced intimacy,” Gesselman said. 

Self-sourced intimacy isn’t new; people have been engaging in pornography since the invention of the camera. In 2025, people are seeking increasingly innovative ways to get their jollies. 

“Whether it’s smut or AI-assisted profiles, singles are finding ways to explore desire on their own terms,” according to Gesselman. 

Well, some people aren’t. Fifty-three percent of women surveyed by Match said they never watch porn. Only 16% of men follow suit, highlighting porn’s popularity disparity between men and women. 

40% of Single Daters Experience Great Sex-pectations 

Four in 10 singles told Match and the Kinsey Institute that porn has changed the way they approach the bedroom, and has even altered — in good and bad ways — people’s sexual expectations. The same can be said of social media. 

Sex aside, many young singles — nearly 40% — lack real-life relationship role models, so they look to social media for examples of healthy, happy, loving couples. What they find, though, often treads the line between unrealistic and flat-out fiction, according to Gesselman. 

“Reality TV and Instagram have made love feel more like a highlight reel than a lived experience,” she explained. “The pressure to find something picture-perfect can be paralyzing.” 

It’s no wonder 70% of singles reported a worsening emotional disconnect between today’s men and women.

Masculinity is No Longer About Authority and Strength 

Men and women are no longer stranded on Mars and Venus, but they’re still a world apart, according to the Singles in America study.

Men resented the assumption that they’re afraid of commitment, while women felt mischaracterized as provider-seekers instead of love-seekers. But at least they can agree on one thing. When asked to choose which qualities are most closely associated with healthy masculinity, respondents agreed on “kindness and empathy” (34%) and “emotional openness and humility.” 

There’s a softness and vulnerability that modern daters crave — what Garcia called “emotional depth” — that supersedes the antiquated idea of dominance enforced by the gender binary.  

It’s possible that Americans are learning to embrace all kinds of masculinity in 2025, even if there is, according to Match, a steep learning curve. 

“What singles say they want and how they show up often doesn’t align,” Garcia said. “We’re asking people to be a best friend, lover, therapist, and travel buddy all in one, and that’s a lot.” 

It’s no surprise, then, that more than half (54%) of surveyed singles said they felt drained by modern dating. These singles could undoubtedly benefit from emotional and mental health support from the dating industry. 

After all, 46% of singles not only took time away from dating to rest, but over 60% felt that the time away helped them focus on their desires and hone in on their realistic relationship goals. As Garcia said: “Meaningful connections happen when we let go of the fantasy and meet each other as we are.”

AI Usage Has Spiked By 333% in Just One Year 

In a surprise to absolutely no one, AI has continued to make a splash — more like a cannonball — in the dating industry. People may crave more IRL connections than ever, but the staggering 333% spike in AI use among singles proves that people aren’t afraid to use the new technology to their advantage.

The AI features found on many modern dating apps are, in fact, making an impression with the nearly 50% of Gen Z daters who have explored using AI in their dating lives. 

Dating app developers, listen up: Forty percent of singles say they welcome AI tools that spruce up dating profiles, such as chatbots that facilitate interesting conversations and flirting tips to AI profile refreshers. And 44% of singles hope dating platforms can use AI to help filter through non-compatible profiles and/or matches. 

Love it or hate it, AI is the future, according to Gesselman. “For a generation overwhelmed by options, tools that bring clarity and efficiency are more than welcome,” she said. 

60% of Singles Believe in Love at First Sight

Romance isn’t dead — at least, that’s what 6 in 10 singles who believe in love at first sight claim, according to Match. 

This number isn’t just impressive to the more cynical among us. As Match noted, this ratio is a 30% increase since 2014, meaning people are more in love with love than ever, despite, well, everything in modern life that suggests the opposite is true. 

But the proof is in Match’s pudding: 70% of surveyed singles believe that love is controlled by destiny, and 73% believe that some love lasts forever. 

Gen Z’s ongoing quest for authentic romantic connections reflects this optimistic mindset. “Singles want to know how someone communicates their feelings, what they really care about, and whether their values truly align,“ Gesselman told DatingNews. “Even though dating culture can sometimes feel over-curated or superficial, what people really want is depth, honesty, and someone who’s real from the start.“ 

As Garcia said, “The human desire for love has ​not changed, but the ways ​in which single adults pursue and prioritize it are radically evolving.” With this in mind, the dating industry must evolve alongside singles.