Opinion: What’s The Real Advantage of Meeting In-Person in the Dating World?

While maybe not as adorable as the fantasy of a meet-cute, one could argue that dating apps (and the internet as a whole) have given many folks access to people they’d likely have never met otherwise — and that is pretty special all on its own. 

Nostalgia for the IRL Connection

But still, users long to build connections that feel like they’re from the days of finding IRL love — even if they’re not. Think: Chatting it up in a bar with someone, having reached for the same bunch of bananas at the grocery store or being introduced by their best friend. 

According to market researcher SSRS,  37% of U.S. surveyed adults have used an online dating site or app at some time in their lives and 7% said they are currently using an online dating site or app. 

Most respondents said they are dreaming of having a meet-cute like the good ol’ days, instead.

What I think is missing is the innate feeling of having an app experience that makes users feel truly noticed, seen, and perhaps even courted. 

Instead, people feel like they are just contending with a pile of potential matches to sift through, another person to swipe yes or no on, or they’re being rated by men, women and all genders alike.

Generational Shifts in Dating Preferences

This is why some generations, including millennials, have talked about ditching the dating app culture for more “in-real-life experiences” altogether. According to one YouGov study, Americans say they would prefer to meet someone IRL, away from the endless swipe-fest.

But let’s not forget the success that dating sites and apps have to lean on. Dating apps have opened up a whole new world of possibilities to make connections regardless of age, location, gender or sexual orientation. One in 10 young Americans still say they’d like to meet that special person through a dating app.

Of all people, my Dad, who is now in his 60s, is a great example of the ever-present need for apps. He is actively swiping daily to find a woman of his age to settle down with. He has also had the chance to go on three to five dates a week (which he says could have never happened back then.)

Unlike today, when my single Mom tried to date in the ‘90s, pre-internet culture, her options and access to several dating websites were super limited. 

I don’t believe it was for lack of trying. Instead, I have a feeling it was due to a lack of opportunity, choices, proximity, and—knowing a bit too much about my mother—her sexual desires. Apps have changed that significantly.

As I recall, she only dated a few people. In the end, she never married, she never truly settled down, and she never felt she had her person by her side. I can’t help but wonder if she’d have had different dating outcomes had she had the internet by her side.

Addressing the Need for More Than Digital Connection

There is a real need for what the online dating field offers, and there are ways to emulate what folks might be looking for in their experience: connection, face-to-face interaction, and not feeling like a needle in a haystack.

Apps like Feeld, Bumble, Beyond, and others, have begun creating new ways to foster this feeling. Feeld’s Experiences, for example, offers users a way to connect beyond phone-to-phone and enables them to meet other members at social events, panels, and community gatherings, among other settings.

I recently met someone who went on one of Beyond’s members-only dating retreats, which prioritizes meeting folks on the app IRL. Users can then travel to a sexy destination for a rendezvous or a chance to be face-to-face with potential matches in a fun setting. The brand also offers monthly meetups, too.

“As we launched our beta, it became very clear that people wanted the IRL component and that’s why we launched our first iteration of happenings in the form of Featured Groups,” said Beyond CEO Eric Waldstein. “Every week, we drop new happenings in local cities — many of them created by our members — where people can connect both digitally and IRL.”

Evolving User Expectations

Dating apps have long known that people want more IRL experiences, like in 2022 when Bumble IRL was launched. But now, users are asking for much more. A reminder that they, as users, can find what they’re looking for and feel a genuine tie. 

But does the perfect balance of online connections and IRL interactions exist? I think so. Users — and app creators — don’t have to view the success of dating apps by either being “too online” or just “offline” enough. 

In fact, I personally think a mix of IRL and digital interaction can be just the thing that helps users (like myself) land dates and feel empowered to stay on until we find what we’re looking for.

For example, I like to swipe to my heart’s content, but I would also like to do some sort of video call. It would be nice not to have to give my phone number out. Maybe if more apps had it engrained in their user experience — like Hinge’s now-debunked video and phone call feature — it could enhance the feeling of having a truly connected experience with someone else.

From my (and most folks’) perspective, dating is now so different from what it once was. As part of a generation in which internet culture has permeated most people’s lives, especially romantically, it would be hard to imagine any other way of dating in 2025. 

In some ways, today’s landscape for finding “The One” or “The One Right Now” is more positive than it was pre-internet dating ever could be. 

People are making matches with others who are into the same things they are — from exploring kink to developing a long-term romance or a casual rendezvous the same night — and maybe they’re only half a mile away. 

Add to that the power of knowing what you want and the ability to easily access what you’re looking for, and it all seems like a winning match.

Balancing the Digital and IRL Experience

It’s easy for people to say, “I hate online dating.”  But would users feel that way if they were made to feel extra special in their dating endeavors, right down to user experience and an IRL component? I think not. 

Let’s not go back to the ‘90s when folks met solely by chance, but let’s replicate the feeling that it brought.

Around 10% of surveyed U.S. partnered adults  who are either married, live with a partner, or in a committed relationship say they met their current significant other through a dating site or app, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study. That could be much higher.

The truth is, humans are nostalgic for a time when dating, and maybe even life, seemed simpler, more joyous, less overwhelming. But here, where people can swipe or not swipe, slide into the DMs or not, one thing is certain: We, as leaders in the dating space, can make online dating everything users want it to be.