Key Takeaways

Love is patient, love is kind — but it doesn’t exactly pay. As unromantic as this sounds, a recent eharmony survey proves that money, not love, is on everyone’s mind.

eharmony’s Dating Diaries survey asked American daters about their dating dealbreakers, including how love and money interact in the current financial climate. 

The consensus was clear: If American daters had to choose between romantic goals and financial goals, 75% said they would prioritize their finances. 

“People are making pragmatic choices about relationships and weighing the cost of romance against their financial and career ambitions,” eharmony explained. 

For example, 26% of U.S. respondents said they would consider turning down a date if it meant spending more money than they’re comfortable with. 

Money really is a dealbreaker for today’s daters, and it trickles into every aspect of dating life, from dating app subscriptions to worklife balance to long-distance relationships to first dates. 

Modern Daters Are Budgeting Their Dating Lives 

People in the U.S. are facing an increasingly unpredictable political and economic landscape, but not all of them want to escape into their online love life. Eighty-one percent of Gen Z respondents are choosing to escape into work instead, and say they wouldn’t risk career growth for a promising relationship. Seventy-seven percent of millennials agreed. 

Many respondents said they would rather be gainfully employed than in a relationship, according to the eharmony survey. It’s true that 47% of respondents said that long working hours prevents them from dating, but this doesn’t seem to bother a majority of those surveyed, particularly those who value financial stability and a strong career trajectory. 

Expect to see a rise in cheap dates in the coming months, if eharmony’s survey results are any indication: 45% of women in the survey said they are not willing to spend more than $60 a month on dating. 

It’s not unusual for modern couples who connect online to live in different areas, but long-distance relationships are a sticking point for some daters, especially where money is concerned. Not only are 66% of daters in the study unwilling to spend more than $120 a month on dating travel expenses, but 90% are unwilling to spend more than $200 a month. 

Love hasn’t totally lost its power, though. In a surprising deviation from the new normal, 49% of Gen Z and 50% of millennial respondents said they’d travel for a date, and 43% of singles said they’d move to a new state in the name of love — but only if they feel a strong, authentic connection with the other person. 

By this logic, a budget-friendly relationship would have to form offline, occur after working hours, and cost each person less than $50 a month. Perhaps this explains why 95% of Gen Z and 93% of millennials said they prioritize their own convenience in their dating decisions, according to eharmony’s survey. 

People Are Putting Less Effort Into Online Dating 

Gen Z and Millennials just aren’t willing to put too much effort into their relationships if there isn’t an immediate connection. eharmony found that 54% of Gen Z and 52% of millennials believe that the need for instant gratification means people are putting less effort into their dating lives. 

With this in mind, dating apps that depend on paid subscriptions may see declining engagement in the coming months. Data analyst Kevin Shahnazari said as such in an interview with Yahoo Finance. 

“Free and lower-tier use of dating apps has risen by about 12%, indicating social and financial stress,” he said in early April. Another data analyst, Andrew Lokenauth, agreed, and even went so far as to say that increased use of dating apps could indicate a widespread desire to save money. 

People want “cheaper entertainment and companionship instead of expensive nights out,” he said. “I’ve tracked this metric for years, and it’s scarily accurate.” 

It’s no wonder Gen Z daters are seeking offline romance these days; it’s becoming increasingly expensive to swipe through dating apps, and without that instant gratification, some singles can’t help but wonder if it’s worth the effort — and the monthly payments.