Gift-giving isn’t everyone’s love language. However, around the holidays, it’s all but expected for people to give gifts to the people they love. For couples, this can put them in a tough position if they haven’t been dating too long or even if they’ve been dating for a while.
Should they get a gift for their significant other? If so, what’s appropriate?
A new survey of nearly 1,000 Americans explores these holiday gift-giving expectations. While 94% of people who are dating plan to give a holiday gift this year, many are torn on whether this tradition is putting too much pressure on relationships, especially since men and women seem to have different expectations about the gifts they receive.
Nearly Half Have Been Disappointed by a Gift From Their SO
Over 1 in 3 (37%) survey respondents said they feel gift-giving puts too much pressure on romantic relationships, possibly because these gifts can be a representation of their relationship. Exactly 2 in 3 surveyed say gift-giving reflects their feelings for their partner, and 65% think a gift reflects how their partner feels about them.
Nearly half (44%) of survey respondents said they had been disappointed by a holiday gift from their significant other, with women (54%) experiencing disappointment more than men (30%).
Perhaps because of these less-than-ideal gifts, 44% said they drop hints to tell their partner what they want as a gift, and 49% tell their partner exactly which gifts they want.
To fight off the pressure of finding the perfect gift, many are investing a lot in their holiday gifts. In fact, 22% of survey respondents feel pressure to overspend on holiday gifts for their significant other.
Americans who are currently dating plan to spend an average of $237 on their partner’s gifts this holiday season. Broken down by gender, men are expecting to drop $286 on a gift, which is more than the $211 women expect to spend.
While nearly 3 in 4 (73%) survey respondents think a gift card is an acceptable gift to get for a significant other, several people admitted gift cards are among the worst gifts they’ve ever been given.
One person shared it was the worst gift they got because it was obvious there was no thought behind it. Others were upset because they said the gift card only had a little money on it (one person said their gift card was only for $5!). Other bad gifts people have gotten are flowers or food they were allergic to, a gift meant for an ex, or clothing that didn’t fit or wasn’t their style.
As for the best gifts, some survey respondents shared they received an engagement ring as a gift as well as a puppy or kitten. One person said their significant other got them a pair of diamond earrings because he overheard her telling her grandma she’d always wanted a pair but couldn’t afford them.
Others said their best gifts entailed exciting concert tickets to performers such as Taylor Swift, Pearl Jam, or Green Day.
Top 5 Reasons Couples Give Holiday Gifts
There are a few common reasons couples give holiday gifts to each other, and it isn’t always about the holiday. The top five reasons people said they give gifts to their partners are:
- Shows love and appreciation
- Enjoys gift-giving
- Strengthens relationships
- It’s expected
- Upholds tradition
Our survey found that women (80%) enjoy gift-giving more than men (64%). Meanwhile, more men (37%) shared that they give gifts because they’re expected to, compared to women (26%).
When to Give Gifts Based on Dating Timeline
People can begin dating at any time, which means the holidays can occur right after they start dating or months later. So, when is the right time to buy a holiday gift, and how much should you spend on it?
Only about 1 in 4 (26%) survey respondents would get a holiday gift for their significant other within a month or less of dating. Of those, people would spend about $75 on a gift.
Interestingly, men estimated they would spend more on a gift ($103) than women ($62). This was even more noticeable in the 2-5 month dating range. While 46% shared they would get a gift for someone they’ve been dating for that time period, men are expecting to spend more than double ($281) what women are ($126).
Gift-Giving for Extended Families
Many people who are dating find themselves buying gifts for more than just their partner during the holidays, but their partner’s family too. While more than half (51%) of those surveyed plan to get holiday gifts for their partner’s family this year, it’s not always a fun and relaxing tradition.
Nearly 2 in 5 (39%) survey respondents say they are stressed out about buying gifts for their partner’s family, and 22% feel they’re expected to buy them.
Thankfully, some partners step in to help alleviate some of the stress. Over 3 in 4 (78%) say their partner helps them choose the gift, 47% say their partner puts money toward the gifts, and 45% say their partner helps them wrap the gifts.
Gift-giving can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be, and you don’t have to do it alone. Consider reaching out to others during the holiday season. Maybe go shopping or have a wrapping party together so giving gifts doesn’t take away from all the joy and excitement the holidays have to offer.
Methodology
In October 2024, we surveyed 993 Americans about their holiday gift-giving habits. 51% are dating someone exclusively, and 49% are single. 58% were women, 39% were men, 2% were nonbinary, and 1% would rather not say. 77% were straight, and 23% identified as part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Respondents ranged in age from 18 to 82, with an average age of 39.
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